


A Dose Of Rwby

by Raziel12



Category: RWBY
Genre: Bumblebee - Freeform, F/F, Fluff, Humor, Humour, Romance, White Rose - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-01
Updated: 2018-02-18
Packaged: 2018-02-19 11:45:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 130
Words: 98,678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2387129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Raziel12/pseuds/Raziel12
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of RWBY drabbles covering different themes and styles. Chapter 130: Meet Weiss, Goddess of Bureaucracy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Experience Counts

**Experience Counts**

"Hey, Weiss…"

"Yes?" Rather than look up from her textbook, Weiss continued to study. It was only when almost a full minute passed in silence that she looked up to find Ruby wringing her hands and blushing a most becoming shade of red. "Ruby, what is it now?"

"Um… well… I was wondering… if you know anything about kissing?"

Weiss blinked. “I beg your pardon?”

"Well, I was wondering about it, but then I realised that I don’t know much, but you kind of know about everything, and you’re really pretty and popular – and did I just say that? – and I’ve never kissed anyone before, and I don’t want to ask Yang, and can you maybe tell me what it’s like – and I’ll stop talking now."

It took Weiss the better part of thirty seconds to piece together the flood of words into something she could understand. “I see. So, you’ve never kissed anyone before, but you’d like me to tell you what it’s like. Is that right?”

Ruby nodded. Really, she was so adorable when she blushed, and now Weiss had the most wicked idea, one that she might actually run with considering the fact that she and Ruby were on their own. 

"Come here." Weiss patted the bed beside her. 

"Uh… why?"  
"Just sit down." Weiss put just enough steel into her voice for Ruby to obey. The younger girl might be the leader of their team, but Weiss knew exactly how to boss her around. "Good. Now move a bit closer."

"Um… Weiss?"

"A kiss is not something that can be described easily. It needs to be demonstrated." Weiss’s lips curled as she put one arm around Ruby’s waist while the other moved up to cup her chin. "Would you like a demonstration, Ruby?"

Ruby gulped and nodded.

"Very well. Do exactly as I say." Weiss smirked inwardly. The way that Ruby was looking at her right now told her that if she’d asked Ruby to jump off a cliff, she probably would. Her gaze dropped to Ruby’s lips. They were enticingly full. "Relax, Ruby. Kissing can be tricky, so let me demonstrate first."

"Oh… okay." Ruby quivered, and Weiss felt a sudden surge of possessiveness. This was going to be Ruby’s first kiss.

"Close your eyes, Ruby, and let me look after you…"

X X X

Blake eased the door of the dorm room open and then paused. Ruby was sitting on Weiss’s lap, and the pair was engaged in quite the kiss. Both had their eyes closed, and Ruby’s hands were clutching the fabric of Weiss’s dress as the older girl ran one hand along Ruby’s hip and used the other to tilt Ruby’s head into the perfect position.

Smiling faintly, Blake closed the door and turned to Yang.

"Have you had afternoon tea yet?" Blake asked.

"No. Do you want to go get something?" Yang yawned. A day of digging through textbooks in the library was not something she enjoyed. Still, it was a necessary evil given Weiss’s strident views on anything less than complete success. "We could ask Ruby and Weiss to come along too."

"There is that nice cafe/bookstore that opened in town. I’ve heard it’s very good."

"You and your books." Yang gave Blake an affectionate scowl. "Sometimes I think you like them more than me. All right then, I’ll just go in there and ask Ruby and Weiss –"  
"They’re not in there," Blake said quickly. "They must have gone to get something to eat as well."

"Oh. It looks like it’s just you and me." Yang put one arm around Blake. "Shall we go, milady?"

Blake chuckled. Weiss had better thank her later. “It’s a date.”

X X X

Weiss pulled away from Ruby, taking in the flush on the other girl’s cheeks and the way her chest rose and fell. Ruby’s lips were slightly swollen too, and Weiss took a long moment to admire her handiwork. Ruby looked thoroughly kissed.

"And that, Ruby," Weiss said. "Is how you French kiss. Do you understand?"

Ruby licked her lips. “I… um… no.” She smiled hopefully. “Do you think I could have another demonstration?”

"Certainly."

X X X

And so, Weiss taught Ruby the fine art of kissing. Naturally, when Ruby had other questions of an amorous nature, she was only too happy to take them to Weiss. And Weiss, of course, was only too happy to oblige her. After all, Ruby was such an eager student, and Weiss was a very good teacher.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> I’m planning on making this a collection of drabbles with varying themes and styles. This one was fluffy and sweet. Feel to submit prompts and ideas!
> 
> As always I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	2. Experience Has To Come From Somewhere

**Note: This chapter is a follow up to Experience Counts (Chapter 1)**

**X X X**

**Experience Has To Come From Somewhere  
**  
Blake glanced up from her book at the irate young woman in front of her. “Ruby, could you please not point your scythe at me.”

Ruby did not stop pointing her scythe at Blake. On the contrary, she brandished it even more menacingly than before. Her voice, when she spoke, was quiet but filled with menace. It was actually mildly terrifying. “Were you the one who taught Weiss how to kiss?”

“Oh.” Blake looked back down at her book. “Is that what this is about?”

Ruby’s scythe inched closer to her throat, and Blake gave a long, drawn out sigh. Was this really her reward for doing a good deed? Then again, she’d never thought that Ruby, of all people, would be so possessive. It was rather adorable – at least it would have been if Ruby hadn’t been threatening to kill her. Plus, it was almost impossible to read her book with a scythe in the way.

“Ruby –”

“Blake, I challenge you to a duel for Weiss!”

Now that got Blake’s attention.

“Are you serious?” Blake felt a headache coming on. “Ruby?”

Ruby nodded firmly. “I’m not sharing Weiss with anyone! Meet me on the roof in three hours… or else.”

“Or else what?”

Ruby spluttered for a few moments. Clearly, she hadn’t thought this through. “Or… or… or else.” And with that she stomped out of the room, a scowl on her face.

Again, it would have been utterly adorable if it hadn’t been for the look of pure murder on Ruby’s face. Good grief, this couldn’t end well. Naturally, Yang chose that exact moment to enter the room. Knowing the blonde, she’d probably been listening through the door to the whole horrible exchange. 

“Your sister just challenged me to a duel for Weiss.” Blake shook her head in disbelief. “I think she really wants to kill me.”

“Yeah, probably.” Yang shrugged. “Ruby can be pretty possessive sometimes. Like, there was this one time when we were little. I tried to take one of her strawberries. She almost bit my hand off.

Blake winced. She quite liked Yang’s hands – especially what they could do when given the correct incentive. “You didn’t think it might have been a good idea to warn me about your sister’s inner homicidal maniac before I agreed to help Weiss with her… concerns?”

“Blake, she carries around a giant scythe that is also a gun. Did I really have to tell you that she might – maybe – be a little too happy killing things?”

“Point taken.” Blake raised one eyebrow. “And what about you? You’re not upset that I kissed Weiss? You’re not going to go off and murder her are you?”

“Oh, please. Weiss needs all the help she can get. Besides, if I thought that Weiss was really after you, I’d have dealt with her already.” Yang’s sunny smile was equal parts thrilling and terrifying. “I’m very good with a shovel.”

“Seriously?” Blake gaped.

“Yeah.” Yang sauntered over and pushed Blake onto the bed. “Now, we’ve got a couple of hours to ourselves while Ruby plots your horrible death. Want to make the most of them?”

X X X

“Can someone please explain to me why I am tied to a pole?” Weiss growled.

Yang waggled one finger at her. “Quiet, Weiss. You’re the damsel in distress, and Ruby is your beloved prince – well, princess – come to save you from the evil clutches of the villain.”

“You’re having way too much fun with this,” Blake said. The murderous gleam in Ruby’s eyes had gone from being fairly amusing to downright terrifying in the past few minutes. And had Crescent Rose always been that sharp? “Weiss, can you please talk some sense into Ruby?”

“I already tried.” Weiss glared daggers at Yang. “But apparently somebody told her that we were engaged in a torrid love affair.”

“Hey, I thought it would be funny.” Yang grinned. “And Blake is pretty good at dodging.”

“You’re a jerk,” Weiss said. “And when I get out of these ropes –”

“All right, you two.” Yang calmly slipped a gag over Weiss’s mouth. “Why don’t you two get your duel started?”

Blake had exactly a quarter of a second to blink before Ruby crossed the gap between them. Crescent Rose flashed in the afternoon sun as the younger girl poured on every ounce of speed that she had. Luckily for the Faunus, Ruby was too angry to fight properly. Instead, her swings were wild and barely under control.

Blake ducked and dodged through Ruby’s attacks before finally finding an opening. She jammed Gambol Shroud against Crescent Rose and twisted her wrist, yanking the scythe out of Ruby’s hands. It twirled end over end before coming to a rest in the pole – just above Weiss’s head.

“Mppphhh!”

“Relax,” Yang said. “I would have moved you out of the way if I thought it was going to hit you.”

Ruby glared. She was about to lunge at Blake when the Faunus’s weapon darted out, Gambol Shroud’s ribbon tangling around her legs and tripping her over. Blake stood over her, eyes narrowed.

“Ruby, calm down. The only reason that Weiss came to me in the first place was because she wanted to know what to do if she got the chance to kiss you.” Blake frowned at Yang. “There was no torrid love affair. She was doing it for you.”

“Oh.” Ruby went limp. “Why didn’t you say that earlier?”

Blake was very tempted to point out that Ruby had not been in the mood for anything even vaguely approaching rational discourse. However, it was probably better to let bygones be bygones. With another sigh, she untied Ruby and settled for the conciliatory approach.

“Just get over there and untie Weiss, so that she can beat up Yang.”

Ruby did, indeed, go over there and get Weiss untied. And Weiss did indeed try to beat up Yang, which was easier said than done with Ruby holding onto her.

“Blake, help!” Yang shouted as Weiss finally managed to pin her down, Ruby wrapped around her. “Help.”

Blake rolled her eyes. Oh no. The last time she’d helped someone, a murderous, lovesick scythe-wielder had gone after her. Yang was on her own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> Well, Weiss had to learn from somewhere, right? 
> 
> As always I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	3. White Rose

**White Rose**

Weiss looked up from her files and smiled as Ruby walked into her office. After a long day of meetings, the other woman was a more than welcome sight. “You’re back from your mission early. Was it just a false alarm?”

Ruby remained silent and her brows furrowed. Weiss felt the first stirrings of concern. Normally, Ruby would have either dragged her out of her chair or jumped into her lap. Had something gone wrong? Or was Ruby hurt? She seemed okay, but it wouldn’t be the first time that Ruby had concealed an injury to try to stop Weiss from worrying.

“Weiss…” Ruby bit her lip. “I…”

“Ruby, whatever is wrong, you can talk to me.” Weiss gestured for Ruby to take a seat on the other side of her desk. If only she had a mug of hot chocolate to offer Ruby – the other huntress was always calmer when she had something sweet to distract her. “Please.”

Ruby sat down and began to, for want of a better way of putting it, fidget. It was an old habit, one that only appeared when she was very nervous. At last, she reached out and took Weiss’s hands in hers. “You know, we’ve been going out for a while now, Weiss…”

“You could say that.” Weiss frowned faintly. Where exactly was Ruby going with this? It wasn’t like her to approach things in such a roundabout manner. And Weiss knew for a fact that she hadn’t missed any important occasions like their anniversary. “In fact, it’s been almost exactly four years since our first date. Remember? We saw a movie, and you ended up eating all of the popcorn before I could have any since you were so nervous.”

“Yeah.” Ruby winced and reached into the folds of her cloak. “Um…”

“It’s okay, Ruby. Just tell me.” Weiss smiled as reassuringly as she could. “Come on, talk to me.”

Ruby didn’t say a word. Instead, she pulled a single rose forged out of white gold from her cloak and put it on Weiss’ desk. Weiss stared at the metal flower, speechless. Every single detail of the rose had been rendered faithfully, from the minute folds of the flower itself to the leaves and thorns along the stem. It was as if an actual rose had been dipped into white gold. Weiss could hardly imagine how hard it must have been to make.

“I made it myself,” Ruby murmured. “I…”

Weiss nodded slowly. A white rose. It was Weiss’s colour combined with Ruby’s surname. And staring into the depths of Ruby’s silver eyes, Weiss knew that this wasn’t just some gift. It meant something more – a lot more.

“Does this mean what I think it means?” Weiss swallowed thickly, hands trembling as she picked up the rose. “Ruby?”

“I tried to come up with a more romantic way to ask you,” Ruby said. “But I couldn’t think of anything else, and a ring seemed so boring. I mean Yang said I should kidnap you but –”

Weiss barely heard a word that Ruby said over the ringing in her ears. This was actually happening. It was really, really happening. “Yes!” Weiss leapt over her desk and tackled Ruby. The pair of them tumbled to the floor in a tangle of limbs. Weiss dragged Ruby into a heated kiss. “Yes, Ruby! Yes, I’ll marry you!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> I’ve always wondered how Ruby might propose, and what better way than with a rose of white gold that she made herself? 
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	4. Tag

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What tag means to Ruby, and why she always lets Weiss win.

**Tag**

Ruby is good at a lot of things. But there is only one thing that she is the absolute best at. It’s almost impossible to beat her at tag. She’s faster than anyone, and she hates to lose. No one – not even Yang – can catch her. At least, that’s how it is until she meets Weiss.

Ruby always lets Weiss win.

It takes Weiss a long time to understand why Ruby lets her win. She wonders if Ruby is making fun of her, or if maybe it’s something Ruby does out of pity. But that’s not it. It’s because, as much as Ruby loves people chasing her, Weiss is the only one she wants to have catch her.

Of course, Ruby can’t make it too easy. It’s still a game, and she has to have her fun.

Sometimes, she spends the whole game just outside of Weiss’s reach, a crimson shadow with a ghost of a smile on her lips. She’ll grin and laugh, trailing petals in her wake, and brush her lips along Weiss’s cheek. Only when Weiss is out of breath and so close to getting frustrated and losing her temper – only then – does Ruby slow down, not much, but just enough for Weiss to catch her.

Weiss frowns, and it’s an expression full of fondness and exasperation. “You always let me catch you,” she says, her arms around Ruby. “Every time.”

Ruby’s reply comes with a kiss and a wink. “Weiss, you caught me long before we started playing tag.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> This is a really short one, but I think it works best at this length. 
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	5. All The Time In The World

**All The Time In The World**

When Ruby uses her Semblance, the whole world grinds to a halt. She can see everything in perfect detail and with perfect clarity. She’s the only one moving and the whole world stands still, at least that’s how it seems to her.

She can pick out each drop of rain in a storm.

She can followed each grain of dust blowing in the wind.

And she can race the wind and win.

So when she runs face first into a brick wall, she can’t really blame the others for wondering what’s wrong with her.

“Honestly,” Weiss says, huffing and folding her arms over her chest before reaching over to pull Ruby out of the wall. “You can dodge bullets, but you can’t avoid a wall?”

There is a very good reason for that, but Ruby isn’t sure if she should say it. Then she sees the fond exasperation on Weiss’s face and knows exactly what she has to say.

“No.” Ruby grins, already imagining how Weiss is going to react. “I was too busy watching you.”

And then Ruby uses her Semblance again, not only to dodge Weiss’s half-hearted attempt to grab her by the scruff of her cloak but also to take in every single detail of Weiss’s blush. It’s the most beautiful thing she’s every seen, and she wants to savour it for as long as she can.

When Ruby uses her Semblance, she has all the time in the world. She just likes to spend all of it on Weiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> Another short one, but again, I think it works better this way.
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	6. The Joys Of Being A Faunus

**The Joys Of Being A Faunus**

Blake paused in her reading as a shadow fell over her.

“Blake, can I borrow you for a second?”

The Faunus took a deep breath and closed her book. When Ruby used that tone of voice, there was no arguing with her. It was the same tone of voice that Yang used, well, pretty much all the time. And what menace Ruby lacked in not being able to punch people through walls, she more than made up for by carrying around a giant scythe. “What is it this time?”

Ruby’s silver eyes narrowed ominously and took on the hardness of finely forged steel. “Somebody stole the cookies I had on my desk. I want to know who is responsible, so that I can make them pay. A lot.”

It was amazing how the normally cheerful teenager changed whenever baked good and strawberries were involved. And if strawberry baked goods were involved? Blake preferred not to think about that.

“And how, exactly, can I help you with that?” Blake really wanted to go back to her book. She’d just reached the part where the intrepid party of explorers reached the cave of the dragon. She was certain that one of them was going to be eaten. She hoped it wouldn’t be the Faunus.

“You’re a Faunus, right?” Ruby was radiating a barely controlled menace now. It made the hairs on the back of Blake’s neck stand on end.

“Yes. At least, I was the last time I checked.”

“A cat Faunus, right?” Ruby tapped one foot on the ground.

Blake fought the urge to fiddle with her ribbon. Although her status as a Faunus was now widely known, she couldn’t help but feel a little uneasy whenever someone drew too much attention to it. She’d been hiding it for so long that secrecy was second nature to her.

“Yes, but you’ve known that for a while now.”

Ruby scowled. “So you must have an awesome sense of smell and everything, right?”

“Faunus generally do have a better sense of smell than humans, and I’ve got a better sense of smell than most Faunus.” As useful as that could be at times, it could also be quite annoying. Yang, for instance, had taken to borrowing some of Blake’s clothing. Whenever the blonde gave it back, Blake was hard-pressed not to hold it up to her face and breathe in. She’d known Yang’s scent anywhere.

“So, if I gave you the bag my cookies were in, you’d be able to pick up the scent of whoever stole them, right?”

“Maybe. It depends.”

“Well, here. Give it a try.” Ruby handed the bag over. “Please.”

Blake sighed. Ruby wasn’t going to leave until she had someone to wreak horrible, pointy vengeance on. “Okay.” She closed her eyes and lifted the bag to her nose. There were several obvious scents: Ruby, the cookies, and the varnish on Ruby’s desk. But there were two other familiar scents there too: Yang and Weiss. “Ruby, you might want to talk to Yang and Weiss.”

“I knew it!” Ruby clenched her fist. “They’re going to pay!”

Blake went back to her book as the younger girl ran off, waving her scythe around. She wasn’t the least bit surprised to return to their room later in the evening to find a very contrite Yang and Weiss presenting Ruby with two new bags of cookies. It was hard to miss how haggard the pair looked – Ruby had not gone easy on them.

“I can’t believe you ratted me out,” Yang muttered as Blake walked past. 

“You could have kept it a secret,” Weiss added. 

“And you two could have gotten something else to eat instead of stealing my cookies.” Ruby brandished her scythe. “Now stop blaming Blake and hand over those cookies.”

What Blake hadn’t mentioned – and what none of the others knew – was that Weiss and Yang hadn’t been the first ones to take a cookie. In fact, the only reason they’d taken cookies was because someone already had. But of course, Blake wasn’t going to mention who that person was. She didn’t want to incriminate herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> I’ve always thought of Blake as being rather cat-like. I can see her being quite mischievous but smart enough to get away with it. And Yang and Weiss are so easy to frame.
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	7. Instinct

**Instinct**

Yang knows the exact moment that Blake gives in to her instincts. It’s there in the way she holds herself: in the tightly coiled deadliness that permeates her entire frame. Yang is no longer Blake’s friend. She is prey – prey of the most delicious sort.

She could fight when Blake pushes her back onto the bed, looming over her with eyes filled with amber flame, but she doesn’t. And they both know why. She wants this just as much as Blake does, and nothing has ever been so thrilling as looking up into Blake’s eyes and seeing the Faunus staring back at her with raw, undiluted want.

Blake wants her – all of her.

What follows is a haze of sensations and impressions, of fleeting moments burned forever into her mind: Blake’s teeth grazing her throat, Blake’s fingers inside her, Blake’s eyes narrowed into little more than slits. Blake. Blake. Blake.

When it’s over – always too soon – Yang holds Blake close and lets her eyes drift shut. Blake is limp in her arms, her breathing soft and even. It will be a long time before the Faunus wakes. It always is. But Yang doesn’t mind waiting.

When Blake meets her eyes the next morning, still held in her arms, the instincts are gone, replaced with reason and regret.

“Did I hurt you?” Blake murmurs, her expression pained as she takes in the bruises on Yang’s hips and the love bites that line her throat and collarbone. “Yang?”

“No, you didn’t.” Yang smiles faintly and brushes her lips along Blake’s forehead. “I’m fine.”

“You don’t… you don’t have to help when I get like that…” Blake looks away, ashamed. Yang cups her chins and forces the Faunus to meet her gaze. “I help you for a reason, Blake.”

Blake knows the reason even if she isn’t quite ready to face it without her instincts urging her on. Still, she buries her face in Yang’s shoulder and whispers, “I love you.”

Yang chuckles. “I know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> This one has a different tone from the others, but it’s nice to go with something different every now and then.
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	8. A Likely Story

**Note: This is set in an AU.**

**A Likely Story  
**  
Ruby was used to her older sister being a little bit odd. Then again, it was hard to call someone who went around punching Grimm to death normal. That said, Ruby did go around killing Grimm with a giant scythe that was also a sniper rifle, so they were both just a tad unusual.

Still, there was odd and then there was weird. Odd was having her sister leap through the window while pummelling a Grimm through a wall. Weird was walking into their apartment’s bathroom to find Yang sharing the bathtub with a cat Faunus.

“Uh…” Yang shifted to cover the cat Faunus as best she could. “Hi.”

“Yeah…” Ruby gave herself a quick slap to make sure that she wasn’t hallucinating. Nope, that had definitely hurt. This was real. “Hi.”

“So…” Yang winced. “You were supposed to be spending the night at Weiss’s apartment.”

“I was… but I forgot something.” Ruby rubbed her eyes. Yep, she wasn’t dreaming. “Uh… who is she?”

“Oh… her?” Yang laughed nervously as the cat Faunus’s amber eyes narrowed ominously. “Well, it’s like this…”

X X X  
 _  
Yang had been making her way home through the pouring rain without an umbrella when she stumbled across a black cat in an alleyway. The poor thing had looked up at her with the most adorable amber eyes as it tried to find some shelter in the remains of an old cardboard box. Being the awesomely kind and wonderful person that she was, Yang had decided to bring the cat home and look after it._

_After making sure that the cat wasn’t hurt, Yang had decided to give it a bath in some nice, warm water. The cat had, as cats were wont to do, taken umbrage at the very thought of a bath, and it had responded in typical feline fashion – with sharp claws and pointy teeth._

_By that stage, Yang had felt quite cold and soggy herself. So she had decided to help the cat warm to the idea of a bath by taking one first and showing the feline how wonderful it could be. Naturally, her plan had worked to perfection, and the cat had joined her in the tub._

_That was when something incredible had happened. There had been a flash of light and suddenly Yang was sharing the tub with a cat Faunus instead of a normal cat._

X X X

“And that’s what happened right before you walked in, Ruby.” Yang nodded sagely. “So, as you can see, it’s all just a misunderstanding.” Behind her the cat Faunus was shaking her head and covering her face with her hands.

Ruby stared at her sister. Then she walked over to the sink, grabbed the plastic soap dispenser and through it right at her sister’s head.

“Ouch!” Yang growled. “What was that for?”

“Yang, I can honestly that your story is the single worst lie you’ve ever told me.”

Yang made a face. “Well, it sounded it better in my head.”

“Yang, I’m not a kid anymore. I’m a grown woman. Heck, I’ve got a girlfriend, and the two of us have sex on a fairly regular basis –”

“Remind me to kill Weiss the next time I see her –”

“Look. The point is, this explains why you’ve been so busy the last several months. You’ve been dating someone. I’m happy for you, Yang. I just don’t get why you felt you had to hide it from me. Was it because she is a Faunus? We both know that I couldn’t care less. I just want you to be happy.” Ruby grinned. “And if you wanted to have crazy bathtub sex that much, all you had to do was send me a text message and leave a tie on the front door. I could always have come back for my mission report tomorrow.”

Yang sighed melodramatically. “You’ve grown up, little sister. Remember when you used to believe everything I told you?”

“Yeah. I stopped doing that when you told me that Santa would come after naughty children with a giant scythe. I was six years old, Yang. I was terrified. I had to sleep in your bed for weeks.” 

“In my defence, it all worked out. I mean you did learn how to use your own giant scythe.”

“Yes – so that I could fight off Santa.” Ruby giggled and walked over to the bathtub, extending one hand out to the Faunus. “Uh, it’s nice to finally meet you. I’m Ruby Rose, Yang’s younger sister.”

“Blake Belladonna.” The Faunus somehow managed to shake her hand while keeping most of her body hidden behind Yang. “Yang has told me a lot about you. She did say that you’re quite easy going.”

“Were you expecting me to threaten you or something?”

“A little, yes,” Blake replied.

Ruby laughed. “Don’t be silly. I shouldn’t have to threaten you. I carry around one of the deadliest weapons in the world. It should go without saying that if you make my big sister cry, I’ll make you pay.”

“Uh, right.” Blake nodded. “So… what now?”

“Oh, I’ll be going.” Ruby chuckled. “Enjoy your night, you two. I know I’ll be enjoying mine.”

Yang waited until she heard the front door shut before she turned back to Blake. “So, how about we continue where we left off?”

Blake gaped for a moment. Then she tried to drown Yang.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> This chapter is back to being more light-hearted. The setting is an AU in which huntresses and huntsmen still exist, but Ruby, Yang, Weiss, and Blake don’t all meet up until much later (in this AU, this is the first time that Ruby had met Blake).
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	9. Of Mice And Huntresses

**Of Mice And Huntresses**

In team RWBY’s dorm room, a battle of truly epic proportions was unfolding. It was a battle that would shake Beacon to its very foundations and shape the destiny of the world for years to come. It was a battle that would pit one of the finest huntresses in the academy against a ruthless foe of unmatched, unfathomable, and generally unsurpassable evil.

It was…

Weiss versus a mouse.

“Die, rodent!” Weiss swung the broom with all her might. 

Unfortunately for Weiss – and quite fortunately for the mouse – the little rodent was extremely agile. She missed by a mile and hit Yang in the shin with the wooden handle of the broom.

“Ouch! Damn it!” Yang grabbed Weiss and shook her. “What’s wrong with you? What are you even doing?”

Weiss jabbed the broom in the general direction of the mouse. To her immense frustration, the critter merely watched her, its dark eyes alight with malevolent glee and unrivalled bloodlust. “I am getting rid of that plague-carrying, disease-mongering, apocalypse-bringing rodent!”

With renewed strength, Weiss shoved Yang out of the way and took another wild swing at the mouse. It was only thanks to her Semblance that Ruby managed to avoid a concussion although given how hard Weiss was swinging the broom, she could very well have ended up taking a quick trip out the window.

“Hey!” Ruby cried. “Watch where you’re swinging that broom!”

Weiss, however, had no time for distraction. The mouse had to die. Its relentless reign of evil would end here. They would write songs in her honour and probably even throw her a parade. After a tumultuous struggle that added a few more bruises to Yang’s shins and left Ruby half imbedded in one of the walls, she finally managed to corner it.

“You’re finished.” Weiss lifted her broom to strike the finishing blow. Her eyes narrowed. Her aura flared. Glyphs formed. She swung.

And missed.

And the mouse hopped up onto the broom and raced up onto first her hand and then her shoulder.

“Ah!” Weiss flailed about, the broom flying out of her hands and straight out the window. “Get it off! Get it off! Get it off!”

A matching cry came from down below. It was Ren. “Ouch! Who would throw a broom out a window?”

Neither Ruby nor Yang made any move to help Weiss. It was hard to blame them. The heiress was a whirling dervish as she spun crazily about the room, bumping off furniture in her desperate bid to get rid of the mouse. But the treacherous rodent had latched onto her dress with diabolical might and had absolutely no intention of letting go. Any minute now it would probably go for her jugular, making her the first Schnee in history to die at the hands of a murderous rat.

And then…

“Honestly.” Blake stepped into the dorm room, surveyed the situation, and calmly stuck out her foot. Weiss tripped in spectacular fashion, ending up sprawled on top of Ruby, and Blake plucked the mouse off her shoulder. She cradled the small animal in her hand, amber eyes narrowing ever so slightly as it quivered in her palm. “All of this ruckus over a mouse?”

“It is not just a mouse!” Weiss tried to get off Ruby, but only succeeded in putting her hands in entirely inappropriate places, not that she noticed since she was still more concerned about the mouse. Ruby, of course, most definitely noticed – as did Yang, who activated her gauntlets. Weiss had no business putting her hands in those particular places. “It is a plague-carrying, disease-mongering, apocalypse-bringing rodent.” Weiss glared with the fire of a billion supernovae. “And it must die.”

“Weiss, I really don’t think it has the plague or any diseases, and I’m fairly sure it isn’t about to bring about the apocalypse.” Blake’s lips curved up in amusement as she ran one finger down the mouse’s back. “Besides, look at him. He’s more afraid of you than you are of him.”

“I am not afraid of that… that rat!” Weiss growled, still not realising where her hands were. “And I still think it needs to die.”

“Oh, please. It’s just a mouse.” Blake smiled faintly. “He’s kind of cute actually.” She scratched the mouse behinds his ears. “I think I’ll keep him.”

“What?” Weiss roared.

“Weiss, you really should be more worried about yourself.” Blake brought the mouse up to eye level and met his gaze. He really was adorable. “I mean look where your hands are.”

Now, Weiss realised where her hands were. A few second later, she was off Ruby and pressed against the wall – much to Ruby’s dismay – while Yang explained exactly what she would do if Weiss didn’t watch where she put her hands in the future.

And that was how Blake got her mouse.

The irony of a cat Faunus owning a pet mouse was not lost on them. Still, the mouse and Blake seemed to get along very well. He could often be found on her desk, nibbling on some food while she studied and occasionally taking a detour to the others’ desks. 

And if the mouse happened to sneak into Weiss’s bed every now then, well, that was all just a horrible accident. The poor little guy didn’t know what he was doing, and it wasn’t like Blake was letting him out of his shoebox on purpose. That would have been petty.

Okay, Blake was totally letting him out of his shoebox at night. It was hilarious. She might even have carried him over to Weiss’s bed to make it easier. Yang agreed, and Ruby wasn’t about to complain when Weiss usually ended up retreating to her bed for protection from the psychotic rodent that appeared to be, in her mind, bent on killing her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> I’ve always thought that Blake would be good with animals, even mice. Weiss, meanwhile, might have a slightly less positive reaction to a wandering rodent. I don’t know if this will be the mouse’s last appearance, but I am open to suggestions for names. After all, people should know the name of the mouse that almost defeated the mighty Weiss Schnee. 
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	10. Strawberries and Cream

**Strawberries and Cream**

“You’re not fooling anyone.” Yang’s voice was horribly smug. “I know exactly what you’re doing.”

It took Weiss a full ten seconds to tear her gaze away from the sight of Ruby eating a bowl of strawberries and cream. What she wouldn’t give to be the spoon, to have Ruby’s lips… “Uh… what?”

Yang snickered. Her eyes were alight with mirth. “Weiss, you’re watching Ruby lick that spoon like it’s the most interesting thing in the world.”

“It is.” Weiss covered her mouth with her hands and then buried her face in her hands. Damn her stupid brain, and damn her treacherous mouth. “Wait –”

“Relax.” Yang put one arm around her. Somehow, she managed to look and sound even smugger. “It’s okay. In fact, I think it’s kind of cute.”

Cute? That was one way to put it. But Weiss didn’t think it was cute. No, watching Ruby run her tongue over her spoon to get every last little drop of cream on it was not cute at all. It was hot. Really. Really. Hot. “Uh…”

“You can’t even think straight, can you?” Yang laughed. “That’s fine. But you really shouldn’t be so obvious about it. This is the third bowl of strawberries and cream that you’ve bought Ruby today.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> This one is super short, but I think it works better that way.
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	11. First Time

**First Time**

“I… I don’t think this is going to work.” Weiss was panting, her cheeks flushed with exertion. “Ruby… it’s too big.”

“No, you’ll be fine.” Ruby blushed and bit her lip. “You’ll get used to it after a while.” She wrapped her hands around Weiss’s and eased them into a more comfortable position. “There. That should help a little. Just… just take it slow at first. Get used to the feel of it. We’ve got all afternoon.”

Weiss nodded slowly and tried again. “I… I’ll try.” She took a deep breath and then stopped, every muscle in her body clenched tightly. “Ruby… it’s too much. Maybe we shouldn’t do this… I mean… I’ve never done this before and…”

“Relax.” Ruby wrapped one arm around Weiss to steady her. “You’re too tense. That’s why it’s so hard. Just take it nice and easy.” She guided Weiss through the familiar motions. “There. That’s not so hard is it?”

Weiss frowned. “That’s easy for you to say. You’ve done this before. I haven’t.” She pursed her lips as a bead of sweat rolled down her brow. “Just let me try it… there… and… AH!”

X X X

Blake stepped into the dorm room and scowled. Ruby and Weiss were tangled together on the floor surrounded by what appeared to be the remains of one of their desks. Crescent Rose was right next to them, its tip imbedded in the floor.

“Honestly, if you’re going to teach Weiss how to use Crescent Rose, do it somewhere else. At the rate you’re going, we won’t have any furniture left.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> Be honest, your mind went straight into the gutter, didn’t it?
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	12. A White Rose Christmas

**A White Rose Christmas**

Ruby has been a good girl all year long, so she hangs out her Christmas stocking on Christmas Eve and waits for Santa to appear.

She waits all day.

She waits long into the night.

But there’s no glimpse of Santa – not one sight.

But she keeps on waiting – she still believes.

Will she get a brand new scythe?

Or how about some aura bullets?

Or maybe even a wonderful new combat dress?

But alas poor Ruby has fallen asleep, and when she wakes up, her Christmas stocking is gone!

Yet… what is that standing there in it’s place?

Ah, yes, it’s a lovely, blushing Weiss!

And what should her Weiss be wearing but a pair of stockings and not much else.

After all, Ruby has been a very good girl, and very good girls get very good presents.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> Some white rose for Christmas!
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	13. The Trouble With Moonlight #1

**The Trouble With Moonlight #1**

Blake had a problem.

Correction – she had a lot of problems, not the least of which was being a former member of one of the world’s most dangerous terrorist organisations. Oh, and her former partner was now the head of that organisation.

But, really, her biggest problem was something far, far more troublesome: Blake was cursed. Every full moon, she was destined to spend one night as a terrifying were-beast, a creature that would strike fear into the hearts of even the bravest huntresses, an inhuman abomination so fearsome that even the hardiest of Grimm would flee at the mere sight of her, an unrivalled horror of such unmatched and unequalled ferocity that the simple mention of her name would –

“Did you turn into a cat again?” Yang chuckled as the cute, little, black-furred, amber-eyed cat sitting on Blake’s bed gave her an adorable scowl. “I thought the full moon was tomorrow. Then again, I can’t really argue with the results.”

The cat’s scowl intensified. It only made her more adorable.

“Oh, don’t give me that look.” Yang picked up Blake and gave her a rub behind the ears, earning a low purr. “You’re just lucky that everyone has taken this so well.”

Blake tried to hold back another purr but failed miserably. Yang knew exactly how to touch her. “Meow… meow… meow!”

“You do realise that I can’t understand you when you’re like this.” Yang grinned. “Besides, you shouldn’t be so noisy. Weiss and Ruby are sleeping.” And sure enough, the two other members of their team were sleeping soundly in their beds. “Come on, we can finish that book you were reading. I’ll turn the pages for you.”

Yang carried Blake over to her bed, along with her book, and pulled the covers over the two of them. Using a torch for some light, she lifted Blake’s book up and settled Blake onto her chest so that the two of them could read it.

“Just tap my hand with your paw when you want me to turn the page.”

And so the two of them passed the night, a blonde and a cat, reading the book together until the two of them fell asleep, Blake perched on Yang’s chest.

Of course, things got a bit more complicated the next morning. Blake changed back into a Faunus, but her clothes were still very much on her bed where she’d left them the previous night after transforming into a cat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> A little bit of silliness and fun! I’m also clearing a backlog of these snippets from my Tumblr. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	14. The Trouble With Moonlight #2

**The Trouble With Moonlight #2**

When Yang had first learned about Blake’s unusual – but utterly adorable – problem, namely the fact that she happened to turn into a cat during the full moon, she hadn’t been all that bothered by it. Whether Blake was a cat or a Faunus, she was still Blake. The only real difference was that Yang needed to keep a closer eye on her than usual. Blake was no slouch in a fight, but she could only do so much as a cat.

However, when they finally got around to becoming a couple, Blake’s unusual problem became a very aggravating problem.

There was nothing quite as annoying as being in the middle of a good make out session only for Blake to turn into a cat. Now, Yang loved Blake, but she was not about to make out with a cat even if Blake was quite possible the cuddliest, most adorable cat that she’d ever seen. 

“You know,” Yang growled as she petted cat Blake behind the ears. “You’d think I’d have memorised the lunar cycle by now. But, no, I just had to forget that tonight was the full moon. No making out for us.”

“Meow.” Cat Blake closed her amber eyes and rested her head on her paws. Her ears gave an irritated twitch. “Meow… meow.”

“I have absolutely no idea what you’re saying, so I’ll just assume that you’re as frustrated as I am.” Yang flopped onto her back and Blake settled down on top of her stomach. “You know, Weiss has been freaking out about how she’ll introduce Ruby to her family, but I’ve been wondering how I’ll introduce you to mine.”

Cat Blake lifted her head and nuzzled Yang’s hand in what the blonde assumed was supposed to be a comforting gesture. “Meow?”

“They won’t have any problems with you being a Faunus, but they might be a little put off by your whole turning into a cat thing. I mean it is pretty weird.” Yang chuckled. “Then again, you are very cuddly when you’re a cat. That might even get you extra points.”

Cat Blake narrowed her eyes and tried her hardest to look menacing and failed miserably.

“And you’re cuddly even when you’re not a cat.” Yang ran one hand through Blake’s fur. “Don’t worry. We’ll work something out. I guess we just have to make sure that we introduce you when it isn’t a full moon.”

X X X

Several months later…

“Well, this is Blake.”

Raven stared at the cat in Yang’s arms. “As in your girlfriend Blake?”

“Yeah. That’s right.”

“She’s a cat.”

“Yeah.”

“So, to clarify, your girlfriend is a cat.”

“Yeah, she is. I mean, right now she is.” Yang shrugged. “It is a full moon and everything. Look, it’s complicated. We were kind of expecting you to arrive tomorrow morning.”

“And?” Raven covered her face with her hands. Yang was dating a cat – a cat. She needed to have a long, long talk with Yang’s father about how he was raising her. 

“Normally, she isn’t a cat.”

“I see.” Raven really didn’t.

“Like I said, it’s complicated. Just come back tomorrow morning and you’ll see what I mean.”

Raven returned the next morning. Instead of a cat, Yang was there with a dark-haired cat Faunus. Raven couldn’t have been happier. Sure, Yang’s girlfriend was a former terrorist cat Faunus that periodically turned into a cat, but that was so much better than Yang’s girlfriend being an actual, regular cat.

Besides, Blake was pretty cuddly was a cat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> More moonlight-related mischief!
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	15. Not Your Milk And Cookies

**Not Your Milk And Cookies**

“Put that milk and those cookies down!”

Santa froze as the edge of a giant scythe came to a rest under his chin. Well, this was different. It wasn’t everyday that someone threatened to kill him over some milk and cookies. “Do you know who I am?”

Ruby scowled, and her lips firmed into a thin line. “You’re the person stealing my milk and cookies.”

“Take a closer look.” Santa turned and put on his warmest smile. “Well?”

Ruby’s eyes widened comically. “Are you… Santa?”

“Why, yes, I am.” Santa smirked. “And you just threatened me with a giant scythe.”

“Oh.”

“Yes, oh.”

“But… but…” Ruby put scythe away. “I really like milk and cookies and…”

“Relax.” Santa patted her on the head and gave a jolly laugh. “You’ve been a good girl this year, and I suppose that I can overlook this little incident if you put out some extra milk and cookies next year.” He reached into his sack full of presents and handed her one. “Here, this is for you. Have a Merry Christmas, Ruby Rose.”

“You too, Santa!”

And then, just like that, Santa was gone. It wasn’t as though he’d moved. It was more like he’d teleported away, leaving nothing more than the sound of bells ringing and some jolly laughter. The young huntress glanced down at her present and then tore off the wrapping.

It was a lump of coal.

And now that she looked, the milk and cookies were both gone.

Ruby shook one fist at the roof. “Santa!”

X X X

“Santa!”

Weiss awakened to find her girlfriend thrashing around in their bed like a beached whale.

“No, Santa, don’t give me a lump of coal! Don’t take my milk and cookies! No!”

“Ruby, wake up.” Weiss shook the other woman. “Wake up!”

Ruby blinked and opened her eyes. “Weiss? Are we… in bed? But Santa…”

“You were dreaming.” Weiss smiled and kissed Ruby’s cheek. “And it sounded like quite a dream.”

“It was.” Ruby explained her dream to Weiss although the blue-eyed woman was quite sure that Ruby had embellished some of the details. For example, she somehow doubted that even a dream version of Santa would have attacked Ruby with a chainsaw while hurling coal at her and stealing her milk and cookies. “See?”

“You threatened Santa with your scythe. You can’t blame him for taking your milk and cookies and giving you a lump of coal.” Weiss put one arm around Ruby and pulled her close. “It’s a good thing it was only a dream. Now… what do you want for Christmas? We still have another week and…”

“I’ve got everything I want.” Ruby kissed Weiss. “Well, not everything.” She grinned. “We’re not married yet.”

Weiss raised one eyebrow. “Did you just use a dream about threatening Santa as an excuse to propose?”

“Maybe.”

“You’re lucky that I love you so much.” Weiss chuckled. “I suppose that we could get married, but you’re going to have to come up with a more romantic proposal than that.”

X X X

Unbeknownst to Ruby and Weiss, there was a certain jolly someone chuckling at their expense deep within his lair at the North Pole.

“Am I the best at giving out present or what?” Santa asked as he high fived some of the elves and reindeer around him. “I got Ruby exactly what she wanted for Christmas and a week early too.” He rubbed his hands together. “Now I just need to get Yang what she wants for Christmas… but it might be tricky coming up with a way to get Blake to wear a maid outfit while serving breakfast. Then again, they don’t call me Santa Clause for nothing!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I am not making any money off of this either.
> 
> Oops… I was quite certain that I’d already posted this, but, apparently, I haven’t. In any case, I hope you guys all had a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. 
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	16. Pirates

**Pirates**

“So… uh… prepare to be ravished… and… stuff…”

Weiss scowled up at her girlfriend. “You’re not very good at this, are you?”

Ruby folded her arms across her chest and huffed. “Give me a break, Weiss. It’s not everyday that someone asks me to dress up as a pirate and do stuff to them.” She fiddled with her hat and made vague gestures with her hands. “Especially not that kind of… stuff.” 

This wasn’t working out at all. Weiss sighed. “Ruby, if you’re not comfortable with this, that’s okay. We don’t have to do it.”

“It’s not that I’m uncomfortable with it. It’s just… I don’t know… a little bit unusual, that’s all.” Ruby fidgeted. “And did I have to be named Ruby the Ravisher? You make me sound like some kind of porn star.”

“If you have a better idea for your pirate name, then you’re more than welcome to use it.”

The silver-eyed huntress opened her mouth and then closed it. “You’ve got me there, but it’s not like I’m going to ravish all the people I capture. I mean the only person I really want to ravish is you.”

Weiss blinked. That was simultaneously one of the strangest and one of the most touching things that Ruby had ever said to her. “Well, we could always try things the other way around first. I could be the pirate and you could be my helpless captive.”

The thought of Weiss playing the part of a dastardly – and sexy – pirate had a certain appeal to it for Ruby. “I guess we could try that.”

X X X

Weiss the Wicked smirked down at her helpless captive. The silver-eyed, young lady that she’d captured made for quite a delectable morsel, firmly tied to the bed and completely at her mercy. Oh, the things she could do to her.

“Prepare to be boarded!”

The silver-eyed, young lady managed to keep a straight face for all of three seconds before breaking into laughter. “Are you serious?”

“Ruby, get back into character!” Weiss hissed as she scowled although her scowl was weaker than usual, on account of her wearing an eye patch. “You’re supposed to be a helpless, young maiden that I’m about to ravish with wanton abandon.”

“Right.” Ruby took a deep breath and did her best to look appropriately scandalised yet aroused.

“That’s better.” Weiss cleared her throat. “As I was saying… I’m going to shiver your timbers!”

Ruby started laughing again. “I’m sorry. I swear I’m sorry.” She snickered. “I’ll do better next time.”

“You’d better.” Weiss brandished her fake cutlass. “Because at this rate neither of us is going to get our timbers shivered.” Her eyes narrowed, roving over Ruby’s exposed flesh. “Now… where was I? Yes, I was just about to –”

WHAM.

The dorm room door burst open.

Yang and Blake stumbled in with their arms around each other and their lips locked together. The blonde’s hands were doing a rather good job of divesting the Faunus of what Yang probably deemed to be unnecessary clothing. However, their kiss only lasted until they noticed Weiss and Ruby.

“Weiss, why are you dressed up like a pirate?” Yang raised one eyebrow. “And why is my sister tied to the bed?”

“I believe that Weiss was about to shiver my timbers,” Ruby replied. She would have waved, but her hands were tied to the head of the bed. “And weren’t you guys supposed to be out for the evening?”

“Yeah… about that.” Yang shrugged. “I thought you guys would be out for the evening too, so Blake and I decided to come back here and… here we are.” Exactly what they were going to do when they got back was left unsaid. All of them knew what Yang liked doing with Blake when they were alone.

“Would you mind maybe going somewhere else?” It was amazing how screechy Weiss could be when she put her mind to it.

Blake’s bow – and the ears hidden beneath it – twitched. What a horrible, horrible sound. “Weiss this is our dorm room as much as it is yours. And you forgot to hang a tie on the doorknob, so don’t blame us for this.” She tilted her head to one side. “And why are you the pirate? I’d have thought that Ruby would make the better pirate although I must say that the eye patch looks good on you.”

“We tried that. It didn’t work out so well.” Weiss covered her mouth with her hands. “Wait, why am I even telling you that?”

A lazy grin crossed Blake’s lips, and her amber eyes sparkled with mirth. “Having trouble? I suppose I could always go somewhere else with Yang. You and Ruby could use the practice.”

“Hey!” Yang waved one hand in front of Blake. “Am I supposed to just leave while my sister plays sexy pirates with Weiss?”

“Oh, please.” Blake tugged Yang toward the door. “You act as if we haven’t played sexy pirates ourselves.” She smirked at Weiss and then tossed her a jaunty salute. “Blake the Bawdy is quite the menace.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I am not making any money off of this either.
> 
> This chapter was a nod at one the more popular chapters of my long-running Lightning and Fang story (Lightning and Fang Sitting in a Tree). In that chapter Fang plays the role of a BASP (Bad Ass Sexy Pirate). I thought it would be nice to let Ruby and Weiss give that a try. Naturally, they’re not quite as good at it as Fang is (and for that matter, Lightning). Then again, all they need is some practice.
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	17. The Trouble With Moonlight #3

**The Trouble With Moonlight #3**

Turning into a cat each full moon had never been an easy thing for Blake to deal with. She was practically helpless as a cat, and even simple tasks, like opening doors or pouring a glass of milk, became titanic struggles, given that she lacked both height and opposable thumbs.

Then there was Weiss.

“You’re so cute as a cat!” Weiss clutched cat Blake in her arms. “I just can’t believe how adorable you are!”

“Uh, Weiss.” Ruby pointed at Blake. “I’m not sure she can breathe.”

“Of course she can breathe.” Weiss lifted Blake up to eye level and squealed. “Oh, just look at her cute little amber eyes and her cute black fur and –”

“You know,” Yang said. “I thought Weiss acted a bit weird when Zwei showed up, but this is taking it to a whole new level.”

“I know… we should get Blake some cat clothes!” Weiss smiled sunnily. “We can get a little jacket and a little hat and –”

“Weiss, give it a rest.” Yang eased Blake away from the heiress and cuddled her in her lap. “In case you’ve forgotten, Blake might look like a cat right now, but she still has the mind of a person. I’m pretty sure that you’re freaking her out.”

“Oh, come on. I’m not that bad.” Weiss looked at Ruby for support. “Am I?”

“Well… you kind of… sort of… well… are.”

“What?” Weiss growled.

Ruby held up her hands in surrender. “You just get a bit overenthusiastic, that’s all. But maybe if you toned it down a bit…”

“Fine.” Weiss sighed. “I’ll tone it down.”

One full moon later…

“Weiss.” Yang scowled. “Why is Blake wearing a cat jacket and a cat hat?”

Weiss held up Blake. “Because she looks so cute in them!”

Blake’s eyes narrowed. The next time they had a sparring session, Weiss was going to pay. “Meow!”

“Yeah, yeah.” Yang picked up Blake. “I’ll get those off you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> It’s not easy being super adorable…
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	18. The Importance of Superior Firepower

**The Importance of Superior Firepower**

Weiss turned to Ruby. “How exactly does this game work, again?”

Ruby sighed. Weiss must have had such a deprived childhood if she didn’t even know how to play this game. “Look, it’s like this. You’re a foot soldier, so you have two choices: you can either pretend to shoot your gun, or you can pretend to use your bayonet.” Ruby mimed shooting a rifle before miming the use of a bayonet. “Shout ‘bangety bang!’ if you want to shoot your rifle and shout ‘stabety stab!’ if you want to use your bayonet, that way everyone knows what’s happening.”

“Right…” Weiss frowned. “But I still don’t understand why we’re pretending when we have actual weapons that we can use.” She nodded at Crescent Rose. 

“Because it’s more fun this way. Nobody ends up with holes.” A smirk crossed Ruby’s lips at the distinctly unimpressed look Weiss gave her, and her tone turned teasing. “What, are you afraid that you can’t play a game that even children can play? Are you afraid you’re going to lose?”

The heiress’s eyes narrowed in truly ominous fashion. “Oh, I’ll play this game, and I’ll win. Just. You. Watch.”

X X X

Despite her reservations, Weiss found herself enjoying the game. Ruby had invited Team JNPR to join them, and the two teams had turned one of the recreation rooms into a makeshift battlefield with the couches, tables, chairs, and other pieces of furniture serving as the terrain.

Ruby was the leader of a team also featuring Nora, Ren, and Jaune while Weiss was on a team with Yang, Pyrrha, and Blake. Quite frankly, Weiss liked her odds.

“Bangety bang!” Weiss cried, aiming her pretend rifle at Jaune and mowing him down with utter ruthlessness.

The blonde “died” in suitably gruesome fashion, throwing his arms up and spinning in a slow circle before collapsing onto one of the couches. It didn’t take long for Nora to sort of avenge him.

“Rockety rocket!” Nora shouted, shooting a pretend rocket launcher and wiping out Yang in a hellish inferno of imaginary flame. “Rockety rocket!”

“Planety plane!” Pyrrha had her arms extended to either side as she darted about the room. “Planety plane!

Unfortunately for the redhead, Ren was more than ready. “Missiley missile! Missiley missile!” 

Pyrrha’s plane exploded in an imaginary shower of mangled, burnt metal. She never got the chance to eject.

Eventually, however, it came down to just Ruby and Weiss. Weiss’s lips curled. She’d always known it would end like this.

Ruby moved out from behind one of the couches, making strange chugging noises as she slowly walked toward Weiss.

“Bangety bang!” Weiss screamed, levelling her pretend rifle and blazing away at Ruby. “Bangety bang!”

But nothing happened. Ruby continued to advance, walking forward slowly and moving her arms around in circles. Was she cheating? Weiss shook her head. No. Ruby was many things, but she was not a cheater.

Weiss waited until Ruby got close and then launched her next attack. “Stabety stab! Stabety stab!” she cried, stabbing away with almost maniacal abandon.

But Ruby simply ignored her and, still smiling, stuck one foot out and tripped Weiss over. Then, quite calmly, she proceeded to sit down on top of Weiss.

“Ruby, what do you think you’re doing?”

Ruby’s reply was very simple. “Tankety tank, Weiss. Tankety tank.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> This chapter was based on what is arguably my favourite joke of all time. In case you didn’t get it, the joke is that Ruby is a tank, which is why Weiss’s rifle and bayonet have absolutely no effect on her.
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comment are welcome.


	19. If Wishes Were Fishes (The Trouble With Moonlight #4)

**If Wishes Were Fishes (The Trouble With Moonlight #4)**

Once upon a time, Yang had wished upon a star. Like many a little girl, Yang had only wanted the best for her family, so she had wished for the strength to protect all the people she loved, especially her little sister.

Whoever was in charge of the universe had heard her plea. Unfortunately for Yang, whoever was in charge of the universe had a sense of humour – a bad one.

When Yang woke up the next morning, she was in the ruins of her house, with her little sister snoozing away. Ruby was curled up against Yang’s tail and tucked away beneath her wings. Yes, Yang had woken up as a dragon, and not a little one either.

By the time Yang entered Beacon, her little – or not so little – problem had only gotten bigger. On the upside, she at least knew a lot about how the transformation worked:

• If she got angry enough, she became a dragon  
• If someone she loved was in enough danger, she became a dragon  
• If she got severely injured, she became a dragon  
• If she tried really, really hard, she became a dragon

Naturally, her dragon form had only grown larger over the years. She had started off roughly the same size as her house, but she was now a good one hundred and fifty feet of golden-scaled, winged, fiery death.

At first, Yang had been worried about how her team would take it. She wasn’t worried about Ruby. Her little sister was convinced that Yang turning into a giant, fire-breathing killing machine capable of flight was the coolest thing since sliced bread. Heck, Yang’s teeth and claws were more than sharp enough to slice bread. It was Weiss and Blake that Yang was worried about. And then she discovered that Blake turned into a cat each full moon. Suddenly, she wasn’t the only one with a transformation problem.

X X X

Blake the cat was curled up on Yang’s stomach. Team RWBY had been deployed on a mission that took them deep into the wild in search of a transport that had crashed while carrying precious cargo. It had just been bad luck that they’d been sent out during a full moon. But it could have been worse. Once this night was over, Blake would be perfectly capable of taking care of herself. And she’d have been lying if she said it wasn’t nice to curl up to Yang.

Suddenly, the blonde began to thrash in her sleep. She must have been having a nightmare. But if Yang was having a nightmare and she thought she was in danger…

There was a blinding flash of light, and when Blake finally regained her bearings, she was no longer perched on top of Yang’s stomach. Well, technically, she was, but Yang was no longer a young woman. She was a young – and very large – dragon.

The dragon’s eyes opened as moonlight glittered upon golden scales. The scales beneath Blake were warm, almost hot to the touch.

“Meow.” Blake poked Yang’s scales. Luckily, Weiss and Ruby hadn’t been crushed during the transformation although Weiss was now waving her rapier at them.

Yang shifted slightly, smashing several trees under her bulk before flopping down onto her haunches, using one massive claw to keep Blake out of harm’s way. Then she closed her eyes.

“Meow?” Was Yang really just going to go back to sleep? It certainly looked like it.

Below them, Ruby and Weiss were still arguing.

“She could have crushed us!” Weiss shrieked.

“Oh, relax.” Ruby waved one hand. “She didn’t crush us, and Yang is the most awesome heater in the world when she’s like this.” She patted Yang’s scales. As a dragon she was far warmer than any normal creature. “And it’s so cold out here. Just climb up and grab a spot on her back.”

“Fine.” Weiss scowled and followed Ruby, climbing up onto Yang’s back. She lay down not far from Blake. “Well, it is pretty warm up here.”

“I told you.” Ruby sighed. “Now, go to sleep. If anything attacks us, Yang can handle it.”

Yang gave a low rumble as fire kindled deep inside her. A few small tongues of flame crept out of the edges of her jaw, and the Grimm that had been drawn by all the commotion wisely retreated back into the forest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> Well, I’ve had a lot of requests about writing something in which Yang transforms into something else. I could have gone with something nice and normal, but this is Yang we’re talking about. A dragon is the only way to go.
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comment are welcome.


	20. Maturity Is Overrated

**Maturity Is Overrated**

It was just too tempting, and Ruby had always had problems fighting off temptation when it came to Weiss.

Ruby lifted her spatula, took careful aim, and then tossed some of the pancake batter at Weiss. It hit the heiress right in the face.

Weiss turned slowly, very slowly, and glared. “Did you just throw pancake batter at me?” The words came out in a hiss, her jaw clenched so tightly that Ruby could practically hear Weiss’s teeth grinding together. Somehow, Ruby found it more adorable than threatening.

“Would you believe me if I said it was an accident?” Ruby put on her most innocent smile.

“No.” Weiss took a deep breath and drew herself up to her full height. Her eyes flashed with righteous fury, and her voice took on that haughty tone that Ruby had hated at first but secretly come to love because there was just something so cool about Weiss when she was trying to be all aloof and bossy. “Luckily for you, Ruby, I’m too mature to retaliate.”

“Is that so?” Yang snickered and then lifted her own spatula to flick more pancake batter at Weiss. “Thanks. Now, I don’t have to worry about you trying to get me back.”

Weiss’s eye twitched, and she wiped the pancake batter off her face. Her lips curled in a fascinating combination of aggravation and contempt. “As I said, Yang, I am too mature to –”

Splotch.

“Re –”

Splotch.

“Taliate –”

Splotch.

Her face now thoroughly covered in pancake batter, Weiss took another deep breath. Then she walked over to the bowl of pancake batter and grabbed it.

“Uh… what are you doing, Weiss?” Ruby asked.

Weiss didn’t deign to give a reply. Instead she pushed Ruby back against the kitchen counter, grabbed a handful of pancake batter and smeared it all over Ruby’s face and hair. As Ruby spluttered in surprise and outrage, Yang tried to make a run for the door, but a glyph trapped her in place.

“Screw being mature,” Weiss growled as she emptied the entire bowl of pancake batter over Yang’s head. “Retaliation is more important!”

Not far away, Blake flipped over the last of her pancakes. Like all of the others she’d made it was crisp, golden, and perfect. Then she sat back to enjoy the view, adding some butter and syrup as Ruby and Yang decided to go after Weiss with the whipped cream. There was nothing quite like food and a show on a Sunday morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> Because we all know that Blake is the sensible one, and Weiss can’t resist getting pulled into mischief by Ruby and Yang. Fast forward ten minutes, however, and Ruby will probably be begging Blake for some of her pancakes.
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comment are welcome.


	21. Detective Ruby

**Detective Ruby**

Ruby had a problem, a big very big problem: someone kept stealing her cookies. She didn’t know whom it was, but she was going to find out – one way or the other. 

Her first suspect was Weiss. Although the heiress would never admit it, she did have a sweet tooth, and Ruby’s cookies were very sweet indeed. But why would Weiss steal her cookies? She had more than enough money to buy her own. And Weiss always seemed to have a few cookies lying around. Ruby knew that for a fact – she was always asking Weiss for someone whenever she’d finished her own stash, and the heiress never said no. Oh, she’d hem and haw, but in the end, Ruby always got her way.

So maybe it wasn’t Weiss.

What about Yang? Yang didn’t have that much of a sweet tooth, and Yang had never stolen her cookies before. Sure, she might grab one or two and wave them around whenever she wanted to tease Ruby, but she always gave them back. Yang knew better than anyone that Ruby did not like people taking her cookies. It made her cranky – and it was not wise to make someone who carried around a giant scythe cranky.

So it probably wasn’t Yang.

That left only one person: Blake. 

Yes, Ruby could see it now. Blake could be so very quiet when she wanted to be, and no one would have suspected a thing. Blake could have sidled right up to her desk, using her book as cover before she helped herself to Ruby’s cookies and then crept away, no doubt enjoying the baked goods with an evil laugh as she read the latest book on villainy and general malevolence.

It had to be Blake.

Ruby waited until all of them were in the dorm room before making her move. She might need Weiss and Yang’s help to apprehend Blake.

“You!” Ruby leapt onto Blake’s desk and jabbed one finger at her. “I know that you’ve been taking my cookies!”

Blake blinked and looked up from her book. “Excuse me?”

“I’ve conducted a thorough investigation, and you’re the only culprit left!”

“Ruby, I did not take your cookies.”

“You did.”

“I did not.”

“You did too!”

“I did not.”

Ruby scowled and folded her arms over her chest. “Yang, Weiss… restrain her!” The two other girls stared. “What? I’m team leader. Restrain her now!”

“Uh, no.” Yang shrugged. “I really don’t think she ate your cookies?”

“Why would she? She can buy her own.” Weiss nodded.

“I know it was her!” Ruby jabbed one finger at Blake. “I –”

And that was when Zwei ambled past, hopped up onto Ruby’s chair, nudged her newly bought pack of cookies, and then helped himself to one.

“Zwei!” Ruby threw herself at the dog. “How could you?”

Yang sighed and patted Ruby on the head as Zwei trotted off with his cookie. “Well, you’ve always shared your cookies with him before. I guess he doesn’t think he has to ask anymore.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> Hmmm… Ruby should probably stick to being a huntress. She doesn’t make the best detective. 
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comment are welcome.


	22. Not That Kind Of Book

**Not That Kind Of Book**

Yang peeked over the top of her textbook and tried to understand the look of intense fascination on Blake’s face. There was no way the book the Faunus was reading could be that interesting. It was the same book that Yang was supposed to be studying, and it was one of the most singularly boring things she’d ever read. Then again, Blake always had been a bit weird when it came to books. Maybe she liked it just because it was a book?

“So, you’ve noticed it too.” Beside Yang, Weiss was also peeking over the top of her textbook at the team’s resident book lover. The heiress’s eyes were narrowed in concentration. She must be hiding something behind the textbook.”

“You might be right about that.” Yang pursed her lips. If only Blake wasn’t so alert to her surroundings, they might have been able to sneak up on her. “What do you think she’s hiding?”

“I don’t know.” Weiss frowned. “It could be anything.” Her cheeks flushed. “It could… it could even be… pornography.”

“Seriously?” Yang turned and stared at Weiss. “Why would you even think that?” She smirked. “And why would that be the first thing you suggest. Hmm… maybe you’re the one who has some porn laying around.”

“It’s not porn!” Weiss hissed, earning a curious look from Blake before the Faunus went back to whatever she was reading.

“Wait…” Yang peered at Weiss. “That wasn’t really a denial. You do have something laying around, only you don’t want me to think that it’s porn.” She chuckled. “So, what is it and should I be worried about what you’re planning for Ruby?”

“I am not answering that, Yang.” Weiss was redder than a tomato.

“That’s okay. I’m sure it’s just some crazy porn that you don’t want us to know about.” Yang snickered. “I always had a feeling that you were a bit kinky.”

“Oh, shut up.” Weiss somehow mustered a glare despite her embarrassment. “I’ve just got a few dating guides, okay?”

“Dating guides?” Yang gaped. “Really?”

“Yes, really!” Weiss scowled. “Ruby’s the first person I’ve ever dated, okay? I don’t know what I’m doing, but I don’t want to mess up.”

“Aw… that’s adorable.” Yang ruffled Weiss’s hair. “But still… what could Blake have hidden behind that textbook?”

“Well, you’re the one who spends the most time around her,” Weiss replied. “What kinds of books does she like?”

“Everything.” Yang shrugged. “She’s always reading something. Sometimes it’s fiction. Sometimes, it’s non-fiction. She likes having a book around.” She paused. “Then again… it might be porn.”

“What?” Weiss yelped.

“I mean she does like being prepared.” Yang rubbed her chin. “And we have been making out a lot lately…” She grinned. “Oh, relax, princess. I’m just messing with you. She’s been reading some Faunus philosophy lately, you know, people who’ve thought about where the Faunus fit in with society and all that. It’s not exactly my kind of thing, but I know that she and Velvet talk about it sometimes.”

“That does seem more like her.” Weiss nodded to herself. “I think we should ask her. If she’s thinking about things like that, then it’s important to show we care.”

“I guess.” Yang waggled her eyebrows at Weiss. “But you’re probably just feeling guilty for thinking that she was still part of the White Fang.”

“I will stab you.” Weiss patted her rapier. “Sure, I won’t stab you to death because Ruby likes you, but I will stab you.”

“You’ll try.” Yang smiled. “And you’ll fail. Let’s go see what she’s reading.”

The answer, as it turned out, was not quite what they had expected.

“You’re reading The Cat in the Hat?” Yang stared at the book that Blake had hidden behind her textbook. “That’s a book for kids.”

“Yes, it is. But it’s also a very good book.” Blake smiled faintly. “And I never did get a chance to read it when I was a child.”

“Well, you have to admit that it is a little unexpected,” Weiss said. “It doesn’t seem quite your style.”

“Weiss, The Cat in the Hat involves the masterful use of rhyme and illustration to create an atmosphere of whimsy and delight that both engages and entertains the reader. The fact that it can achieve such engagement and entertainment despite its short length and simple vocabulary is a testament to the brilliance of the author. In other words, it is the epitome of simplicity: a book that eschews florid prose in favour of precise wording and easily appreciated humour.” Blake chuckled. “And it has a cat in it that happens to be pretty cool.”

Yang laughed. “Of course, it does.” She put one arm around Blake. “But I think our team has a cooler cat although she wears a ribbon, not a hat.”

It was at that exact moment that Ruby walked in. The youngest member of the team took one look at Blake’s book and let loose a squeal of delight. It was quite a sight.

“The Cat in the Hat? I love that book!” Ruby hurried over. “You should read it to us, Blake. You have the perfect voice for that. Come on!”

Blake smiled indulgently. “I suppose I could read it.”

“Maybe we can act it out too.” Ruby struck a pose with Crescent Rose. “I get to be the cat, you know, the one with a hat.”

“Ruby,” Blake said, still smiling. “I’m the cat. You can be the goldfish.”

“Now way,” Ruby said. “The goldfish is a stick in the mud. Weiss should be the goldfish.”

Weiss growled and scowled. “Ruby!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> Dr Seuss was a genius. That is all.
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comment are welcome.


	23. Ruby To The Rescue

**Ruby To The Rescue**

When Weiss screamed, Ruby was the first one to burst into action. With a speed that no one else in the world could match, she launched herself out of bed, grabbed her scythe, and kicked in the bathroom door. Whoever had the gall to attack Weiss while she was enjoying her shower was going to get a good dose of pointy death, courtesy of Crescent Rose.

At least, that was how it was supposed to go.

But, as so often happened when it came to Weiss, Ruby had not thought her plan through very well. In particular, she had failed to properly take into account several key facts:

1\. Weiss was in the shower  
2\. Weiss’s scream had not been a terrified scream but more of a startled shout  
3\. Weiss was in the shower  
4\. Having a shower meant that Weiss was naked  
5\. Ruby kicking in the bathroom door gave her a great view of the shower  
6\. Weiss was in the shower  
7\. Weiss was in the shower naked

Strangely enough, the first thing that Ruby noticed was not that Weiss was naked. Instead, her attention was drawn to the large spider on the shower wall that was undoubtedly the cause of Weiss’s distress. Her eyes narrowed. The spider had scared Weiss. It had to die. Painfully.

Ruby yanked open the shower door and moved Weiss out of the way before taking a swipe at the spider. Somehow, the cunning arachnid managed to dodge before scuttling past her and into the dorm room, whereupon it made a hasty exit via the window before Yang could smite it.

“Don’t worry.” Ruby nodded resolutely. “I got rid of the spider, Weiss.”

And that was when Ruby noticed that Weiss was naked – and that she had moved Weiss out of the way by putting one hand on the heiress’s suddenly extremely interesting chest.

“Ruby…” Weiss raised one fist. “What are you doing?”

“Uh…” Ruby stared at her hand and what it was holding. Then she stared some more. Weiss had a really, really interesting chest.

SLAP.

X X X

“Ruby what happened to your face?” Jaune gaped. “Is… is that a handprint?”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Ruby mumbled.

“Weiss happened to her face.” Yang put one arm around Ruby. “How about you ask her how it happened?” She winked. “I’ll give you a hint: it involved breasts, showers, and a spider.”

Jaune made a choking sound and promptly walked into a pole.

X X X  
 **  
Omake: Yang To The Rescue  
**  
Yang smirked. The spider had fled in sheer terror of her awesomeness. Blake was saved. Then she looked at her hand, which was still on Blake’s chest.

“Do you mind?” Blake raised one eyebrow.

Yang’s response was to leave her hand exactly where it was. “No, not really.”

Blake rolled her eyes. “Then at least close the door. Your sister and Weiss are staring.”

Yang did just that before stripping out of her clothes and joining Blake in the shower. Yep, she was just that awesome. Needless to say, any screaming that Blake did after that had absolutely nothing to do with a spider.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> Poor Ruby. Lucky Yang.
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comment are welcome.


	24. (Belated) Valentine’s Day Special

**(Belated) Valentine’s Day Special**

“Here, these are for you.”

Ruby eyed the cookies on the plate dubiously. She was something of a cookie connoisseur, and these cookies were, to put it nicely, not particularly well made. A less charitable person would have called them nightmarish. In fact, they looked more like bits of charcoal than cookies. But Weiss had, quite obviously, made them herself, which meant that she couldn’t just say no.

“Thanks.” Ruby lifted the least horrible-looking cookie off the plate. “Um…”

“I know they’re not good, okay.” Weiss seemed to shrink in on herself as she looked away. “But it’s Valentine’s Day, and I didn’t want to just buy you something from a store, and I know you like cookies, and –”

Ruby took a deep breath. She loved Weiss, and love was all about making sacrifices. She took a big bite out of the cookie – and immediately wished she hadn’t. It was simply horrible. Despite being ridiculously burnt, it somehow managed to still be hideously salty at the same time. Had Weiss gotten the sugar and salt mixed up? 

“It’s bad, isn’t it?” Weiss cringed. “I knew it. I should have…” Her expression fell, but Ruby put one hand on her shoulder and slowly, deliberately, took another big bite out of the cookie.

“It’s great.” Ruby forced a smile onto her face. “I mean it, Weiss. It’s great.” 

Weiss gaped. “Ruby, I’m not blind. I’m pretty sure I burnt that cookie.”

“It doesn’t matter.” Ruby shook her head. “Because you made it, it’s great.”

Weiss’s eyes widened. Then she threw herself at Ruby, knocking the plate of misbegotten cookies to the ground as she tackled Ruby to the floor and pulled the other woman into a heated kiss.

“I love you so much, Ruby.” Weiss eased back and grimaced. “Okay, you still taste kind of like that cookie. I definitely messed it up.”

Ruby shrugged. “I’ve had worse.”

“Really?”

“Uh, maybe not. But like I said, they’re your cookies which makes them awesome by default.” Ruby paused. “Although maybe next time… just buy some?”

Weiss laughed. “I can do that.”

“Anyway, this is for you.” Ruby pulled something out of her pocket. “I know it’s not much, but…”

Weiss stared. “Ruby, this is a necklace.”

“Yeah.” Ruby scratched the back of her head. “I kind of made it myself.”

“…” Weiss twitched and then poked Ruby’s cheek. “You’re horrible, you know that, right?”

“What?”

“How am I supposed to keep up when you’re doing such… such romantic things while I’m burning cookies and…” Weiss sniffled and pressed her face into Ruby’s chest. “You, big, stupid, romantic dummy.”

“Well, it’s not a competition.” Ruby rubbed Weiss’s back soothingly. “I’m good at making things, but you’re not good at baking.”

“Ruby!”

“That came out wrong. What I meant was that I did something for you that I’m already good at, but you went out of your way to try to do something for me that you’re not good at.” Ruby pulled Weiss up so that she could look into her eyes. “It means a lot to me that you tried to bake something. It really does. You were willing to try something completely new for me.” She grinned. “And there’s always next year, right?”

“Yes.” Weiss smirked. “A Schnee never loses. I’ll get you the best Valentine’s Day present ever next year.”

“I know.” Ruby tightened her hold on Weiss. “But this, right here, is a pretty good Valentine’s Day present.” A few moments passed. “Although it would be even better if we could find somewhere softer. The floor is kind of hard.”

“I think that can be arranged.” Weiss’s lips curled, and her eyes darkened. “After all, this is our first Valentine’s Day sharing an apartment.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> I posted this on my Tumblr on Valentine’s Day but somehow managed to forget to post it here. Oops.
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comment are welcome.


	25. Choosing Wisely

**Choosing Wisely**

“I think you’re making way too big a deal out of this.” Yang ducked as another swimsuit flew off the rack and nearly hit her in the head.

“I am not!” Ruby finally settled on three potential swimsuits and held them up for closer inspection. “This is the first time we’ve ever gone to the beach as a team, and I want to look good.”

“Sure you do.” Yang snickered. “Or maybe you just want to look good in a swimsuit for Weiss.”

“I know you’re my sister, but I will use my scythe on you.” Ruby glared. “Believe me, I will.”

“Hey, you’re the one who asked me to come help you pick a swimsuit. The witty banter is part of the whole helpful package.” Yang grinned and ruffled Ruby’s hair. “But I really do think you’re worrying too much. Weiss will like whatever swimsuit you pick because it’s you in it. I know Blake won’t mind which one I pick.”

“Of course, she won’t!” Ruby shot an envious glance at Yang’s chest. Life could be so unfair. “You’re you! You look amazing in swimsuits. I’m me!”

Yang sighed and pulled Ruby into a headlock. What a silly little sister she had. “Ruby, you need to relax. You’re perfectly fine the way you are. Trust me.”

“I guess…” Ruby glanced toward the change rooms. “Come on. I’m going to give these a try. Tell me what you think.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Yang leaned on the wall outside the change room as Ruby tried on the first swimsuit. “You’re also forgetting something very important, Ruby. Weiss will be there in a swimsuit too.”

There was a muffled curse before something banged into the side of the change room.

“Uh… are you okay in there?”

“I’m fine,” Ruby squawked. “I’m perfectly fine. I just, um, tripped over.”

“Sure, you did.” Yang smirked. Oh, this was going to be fun. “I’m sure it had nothing at all to do with the thought of Weiss frolicking in the surf in a bikini, the water dripping off –”

Thump.

“Ouch! Damn it!” Ruby hissed. “Yang!”

“Oh, come on, how often do I get to tease you about stuff like this?”

“You tease me about Weiss all the time. You’re horrible!” 

Yang shrugged. “Now that you mention it, I kind of do. Oh well, that’s what big sisters are for. Now, hurry up. You need to just pick one, so we can have lunch.”

X X X

Ruby was nervous – really, really nervous – as she watched Weiss stroll down the beach toward them. The other girl hadn’t spotted them yet, but Ruby was already having a hard time not staring. Weiss looked amazing. In fact, this was something she’d imagined more than once, only without Yang standing next to her snickering.

“Remember to breathe, little sister.” Yang nudged Ruby. “And remember, she’d probably as nervous as you are.” She raised her voice. “We’ve over here, Weiss!”

The heiress turned, and Ruby saw her eyes widen. Weiss was staring. 

“She’s staring at me!” Ruby grabbed Yang’s arm. “Is that good? Is that bad? Is it because I look weird?”

“I don’t think that’s it.” Yang’s lips twitched. “I think…”

Weiss’s cheeks flushed, and she moved toward them – only to trip spectacularly over a rock half-buried in the sand. She hit the sand with a dull thump and was promptly swamped by a wave.

“Weiss!” Ruby broke into a run. “Don’t drown!”

Back with Yang, Blake gave an amused chuckle. “Do you think Ruby noticed why Weiss tripped over?”

“Not a chance.” Yang laughed as Ruby grabbed Weiss and dragged her out of the surf. “But I will say this: Weiss only missed that rock because she was too busy looking at something else.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> Heh. Ruby and Weiss can’t catch a break.
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comment are welcome.


	26. The Yang Approach To Problem Solving

**The Yang Approach To Problem Solving**

“It pisses me off.”

Blake looked up from her book. “What does?”

“You know… them.” Yang pointed in the general direction of Ruby and Weiss.

“Can you be more specific?” Blake didn’t see what the big deal was. Ruby and Weiss weren’t doing anything out of the ordinary: Ruby was ranting about the awesomeness of the newest modifications she’d made to Crescent Rose while Weiss humoured her by pretending to understand everything the younger girl said.

“They should just get together already.” Yang scowled. “They’re wasting time.”

“They’re teenagers.” Blake chuckled. “We’re teenagers. We do a lot of time wasting.”

“Yeah, but this is different.” Yang struck a pose. “This… is love!”

“Yang, I don’t mean to burst your bubble, but I’m not sure that Ruby is in love with Weiss.” Blake got up and pulled Yang back into her chair before the blonde could draw any further attention to them.

“She so is.” Yang pointed at her sister. “Just look at her.”

“I am.” Blake smiled faintly. “And she definitely likes Weiss, and I’m pretty sure she’ll more than like her one day. But right now? I think Ruby is just happy they’re friends.”

“Spoilsport.”

“Someone has to be.” Blake frowned. “Wait, I know that look. You’re going to do something. Whatever it is, don’t do it.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Yang huffed.

X X X

“Help!”

Ruby paused and then backtracked to the storage closet. Was there someone stuck inside. “Hello?”

“Finally!” It was Weiss. “Can you get me out of here, Ruby?”

“Uh, sure.” Ruby opened the closet. “But why were you in the closet, Weiss?”

“Blame your crazy sister.” Weiss wiped off a cobweb. “She muttered something about you being too young to understand and about me having to take charge of my feelings before shoving me into this closet.”

“Hmmm… that does sound kind of like Yang.” Ruby shrugged. “But that doesn’t make sense. She was the one who asked me to get something from our dorm room.” Her brows furrowed. “Did she want me to get you out of the closet?”

“You’re right. It doesn’t make sense.” Weiss looked around. “Which is why I’m worried – gah!”

“Take that!” Yang crowed as she shoved both Ruby and Weiss back into the closet.

“Let us out this instant!” Weiss growled. “Yang!”

“Not a chance!”

“It’s okay.” Ruby’s voice was muffled. “I think I can use Crescent Rose to –”

“Watch where you’re putting you hands, Ruby!” Weiss shrieked.

“I’m sorry. But I can get us out with my scythe.”

“Wait. Stop,” Weiss shouted. “You can’t unfold your scythe in here. There isn’t enough space.” She banged on the door. “Yang, open the closet right now, or so help me, I’ll make you sorry.”

“I’ll let you two out in a little bit.” Yang smirked. She was such a genius. “Just enjoy some quiet time alone together.”

X X X

“Help! Someone, help!”

Pyrrha paused and then turned to her left. Was there someone stuck in the closet? Gingerly, she unlocked the closet. Ruby and Weiss tumbled out of it and into the corridor.

“Thank you.” Ruby’s cheeks were flushed. “It was starting to get really hot in there.”

Weiss got to her feet. Her eyes narrowed. “Thank you, Pyrrha. Have you seen Yang?”

“Yes, she was in the cafeteria.” Pyrrha tilted her head to one side. “Why were you two in the closet?”

“Because of Yang.” Weiss’s jaw clenched. “I’m going to kill her.”

As Weiss stomped off toward the cafeteria, Ruby hung back and explained the situation to Pyrrha. 

“What do you think my sister meant when she said Weiss needed to take charge of her feelings, and what does a closet have to do with anything?” Ruby asked.

Pyrrha bit back a smile. It was easy to forget sometimes that as skilled as Ruby was, she could also be incredibly naïve. “Have you ever heard the phrase ‘coming out of the closet’?”

Ruby shook her head. “No.”

“I see.” Pyrrha chuckled. “Well, why don’t we head to the cafeteria? You can ask Blake to explain it to you once Weiss is finished trying to kill your sister.”

“You don’t think Weiss is really going to kill her, do you?” Ruby actually seemed worried. “She was pretty mad.”

“I doubt it.” Pyrrha grinned. “But Professor Goodwitch will almost certainly have to fix the cafeteria again by the time they’re done.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> I wonder how Ruby will react once Blake explains the whole closet thing to her?
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comment are welcome.


	27. Outfits

**Outfits**

“You need a cape.”

Weiss stopped reading her textbook and turned to Ruby as though what the younger girl had said was the strangest thing she’d heard all day, which it was, as a matter of fact.

Beside Weiss, Yang rolled her eyes. “Oh, come on, Ruby, not this again.”

“Hear me out.” Ruby held up one hand and then got up, throwing her cloak over Weiss’s shoulders. “See how much better you look with a cape?”

“No, I don’t.” Weiss shrugged off Ruby’s cloak. “You know, I’ve been meaning to ask you about your cloak for a while now. How can you wear that when you fight? Aren’t you worried it’ll get caught on something?”

“Says the girl who wears a dress into a fight.” Yang sniggered.

“It’s a combat skirt!”

“It’s a dress, Weiss, and it’s no wonder you don’t kick people when you fight. You’d end up flashing them.”

Weiss’s eye twitched. “You can wear what you want to a fight, and I’ll wear what I want. Besides, you wear a scarf. You’re just asking to get strangled with that.”

Yang scoffed. “Like that’s ever going to happen.”

“And a scarf is just as likely to get caught on something as a cape, maybe even more so.” Weiss folded her arms over her chest. “Whereas my outfit won’t get caught on anything.”

“Yeah, you just can’t kick, that’s all.”

“Look, can we get back to what’s important.” Ruby slapped one hand down on Weiss’s desk. “Weiss would look awesome with a cape. She’d be like some kind of superhero. Super Weiss. No – Super Schnee!”

Weiss covered her face with her hands. “Ruby, please stop talking.”

“Come on.” Ruby waved at Blake. “You agree, right?”

Blake took in the expression of horror on Weiss’s face and smiled. “Yes. Yes, I do. I think we should get Weiss a cape. It would be very… practical.”

“Practical?” Weiss raised one eyebrow. “You fight in shoes with heels!”

“Have you ever seen me trip over?” Blake replied. “Besides, like Yang said, you fight in a dress.”

“It’s a combat skirt!” Weiss scowled. “And it’s not like you can talk. You wear a ribbon.”

“Yes, to hide my cat ears, which means my ribbon actually serves a real purpose.” Blake’s lips curled. “But I think we should put it to a vote. Who wants to see how Weiss would look in a different outfit?”

“Me!” Ruby’s hand shot up.

“I’m in.” Yang’s hand went up too.

“Well, I’m not in.” Weiss growled. She glared at Blake. “Don’t you dare…”

“Just deal with it.” Blake raised her hand. “It looks like its three to one. Democracy is a wonderful thing.”

X X X

“I look ridiculous.” Weiss winced. “Totally ridiculous.”

“I don’t know,” Ruby said. “I think you look cool.”

After putting up some spirited – but extremely brief – resistance, Weiss had quickly found herself wearing Ruby’s cloak, Blake’s ribbon, and Yang’s scarf.

“Yes, you look very distinguished.” Blake’s eyes twinkled. “Very noble.”

“We should call her Super Schnee when she’s like this.” Ruby struck a pose before darting over and moving Weiss into a similar pose. “She’s the hero the world needs and the one it deserves, capable of saving kittens and smiting Grim… she’s Super Schnee!”

Whack.

“Ouch.” Ruby rubbed her head. “Did you have to hit me?”

“I think she kind of did.” Yang patted Ruby on the head. “You okay?”

“Yeah.” Ruby grinned. “After all, Super Schnee is –”

Whack.

“Fine, fine. I’ll stop saying it.” Ruby giggled. “But you do look pretty awesome, Weiss. I mean I guess you look a bit weird, but you can be awesome and weird at the same time.”

“Well, I think I look ridiculous.” Weiss huffed and turned on her heel. “I’m going to take these off right now.”

“Wait!” Ruby reached out to grab Weiss’s shoulder. “We need to take pictures first!”

Instead of grabbing Weiss’s shoulder, however, she missed and grabbed Yang’s scarf, which was tied around Weiss’s neck. Weiss made a gagging sound and went down, her legs kicking up into the air as Ruby brought her to a very sudden stop.

“Well, damn.” Yang winced as Weiss lay on the floor making choking noises. “I guess my scarf could get caught on something.” She paused. “Although that would never happen to me.” She poked Weiss with her foot. “Uh… Ruby, you might want to get that scarf off her neck. I think she’s choking.”

“Crap!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> So, yeah, I’m not dead. LOL. Anyway, what’s that? Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No… it’s Super Schnee!
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	28. Super Schnee

**Super Schnee**

“What’s that? Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No… it’s Super Schnee!”

Weiss Schnee, better known to the world at large as Super Schnee the Heiress of Awesomeness and Woman of Wonderfulness, zoomed through the skies above Vale. She had just foiled her tenth robbery of the day as well as saved her fifth kitten of the day. Now, all she had to do was head home to her cookies and – wait! What was that?

Yes, it was a beautiful, awesome, super cool, and just plain incredible woman in trouble. She shot through the sky as the beautiful, awesome, super cool, and just plain incredible woman somehow managed to fall out of an apartment window. 

Gasp!

The lovely woman was headed for certain doom since she’d fallen from a tenth-floor window. Within moments, she would be little more than icky goo on the pavement. But a few moments were more than enough for Super Schnee!

In a blaze of impossibly fast movement, Super Schnee caught the falling woman and immediately found herself caught in the captivating spell of her peerlessly beautiful silver eyes.

“Hi,” Weiss said. “Having trouble staying inside your apartment?”

The other woman’s dark hair fluttered in the breeze, only accentuating how totally awesome she was and how much Weiss already liked her. “Uh… yeah. I’m… I’m Ruby.”

“Well, I’m Weiss.” Weiss carried Ruby back up to her apartment. “Now, I’m afraid that I’m going to have to bill you for rescuing you.”

Ruby blushed prettily. “And how much would a rescue cost?”

Weiss grinned. “A kiss…”

X X X

“Ruby, have you been drawing this entire time instead of doing that homework we got in history class?” Weiss stomped over to Ruby’s desk. “Well?”

Ruby made a frantic attempt to cover her notebook. “Uh… no. I’ve totally been working hard and everything. Yeah, that’s it.” Ruby’s nervous laughter was like waving a red flag in front of a bull with rabies and an anger management problem.

“Somehow, I doubt that.” Weiss yanked Ruby’s notebook off her desk and flipped through it. “What the? What are these drawing supposed to be? They look kind of like stick figures.”

“Uh… just… stuff… you know… stuff.” Ruby snatched her notebook back. “I promise I’ll do the homework, okay!”

“Fine, fine.” Weiss’s gaze softened. “It has been a long day. Why don’t we head out and grab something to eat first. Besides, that homework shouldn’t take too long to do.”

Ruby breathed a sigh of relief. “You’re the best, Weiss.”

“Heh.” Yang snickered at Ruby. “It’s a good thing you can’t draw, little sister.”

“Oh, shut up.” Ruby stared at her drawings. They weren’t that bad were they? She definitely had no trouble making out the Super Schnee and Ruby on the second page. “And it’s not like you’re any better. I’ve read those stories you write about Blake.”

The aforementioned Faunus’s ears perked up. “Oh? What stories, Yang?”

The blonde laughed nervously. “Oh, nothing.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> Super Schnee returns! But seriously, Ruby drawing bad White Rose fan art and Yang writing bad Bumblebee fan fiction, could you ask for anything better?
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	29. Changes

**Changes**

“Does something about Ruby seem different to you?”

Blake looked up from her book, a rather exciting – and racy one – involving a ninja and a buxom blonde, and raised one eyebrow at Weiss. “What do you mean?”

“I’m not sure.” The heiress frowned faintly. “It’s just… something about her seems different this year. I can’t quite put my finger on it. But… she’s different.”

Blake decided to humour Weiss and shifted her gaze over to Ruby, who was sparring against Yang. The sisters had decided to forego weaponry to help Ruby improve her hand-to-hand fighting, which had been something of a weakness of hers for some time. With a scythe, Ruby was absolutely deadly. Without her weapon, however, Ruby was much less threatening. Blake doubted that Ruby would ever be able to match her or Yang in a fistfight, but she was certain the blonde could turn her younger sister into a competent fighter.

It took her only a moment of actually looking at Ruby to notice that their team’s leader had changed. Ruby had been a girl when she’d joined Beacon. Well, she wasn’t a girl anymore. She was a young woman now. Ruby had always been fairly slender, but that was beginning to change. She was filling out, and although she’d probably never have Yang’s voluptuous figure, there was no mistaking her for a little girl anymore. Add to that the fact that Ruby was now Blake’s height and likely still growing, and it was safe to say that Ruby had most certainly changed.

“Oh, I think I know what’s changed.” Blake’s smile was positively wicked as she watched Weiss go back to staring at Ruby. Since they were sparring hand-to-hand, Ruby had opted to take a page out of Yang’s book and fight in a pair of shorts and a t-shirt, as opposed to her usual outfit, which left little doubt as to her changing figure. And all of that running around had given Ruby wonderful legs. “Our little Ruby is growing up.”

“What?” Weiss’s gaze jerked over to Blake.

“Look at her.” Blake pointed. “Really look at her.”

And Weiss did. Her eyes widened, and her cheeks flushed. “Oh.”

“Yep.” Blake snickered. “She’s not a little girl anymore, Weiss.”

And as Weiss continued to stare, Blake could only smile. The next year or so was going to be very fun. She might even have to start a betting pool. Of course, the fact that she had inside information didn’t hurt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> In my head, Ruby always ends up taller than Weiss and Blake with Yang being a little bit taller than her. Of course, nobody ends up quite as busty as Yang.
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	30. Growth Spurt

**Growth Spurt**

“Ruby, can you get that book for me?” Weiss asked.

Ruby shrugged and reached up to get the book off the shelf. Then she paused, the book still in her hand, and looked at Weiss. Or rather, she looked down at Weiss. “Hey…”

“The book, Ruby?”

But Ruby had more important things to worry about than the book. “Since when have you been shorter than me?”

Weiss’s eye twitched. “Ruby, now is hardly the time to…”

“I mean you were never that much taller than me, but you were taller than me. What’s the deal?” Ruby grinned. “Or maybe I haven’t grown taller. Maybe you’ve shrunk.”

“I have not shrunk!” Weiss hissed. The fact that she had to look up to glare into Ruby’s eyes was beyond infuriating. “You’re just going through a growth spurt. That’s all.”

Ruby pursed her lips. “I guess. I mean… I did have to buy a bigger bra the other day.” She cupped one of her breasts. “Hey, Weiss, do you think my breasts have gotten bigger too?”

“What?” Weiss shrieked before covering her mouth with her hands. They were in the library. The absolute last thing she wanted was to draw more attention to them when Ruby was asking such awkward questions and groping herself. She lowered her voice to a whisper. “What?”

“Do you think that my breasts have gotten bigger too?” Ruby tried to look down at her own breasts. “I think they have, and like I said, I had to buy a bigger bra. But they don’t feel that much different.” She patted her chest. “And Yang’s are still way bigger and… Weiss, why is your face so red?”

Weiss coughed. “Ruby, I really don’t think this is an appropriate conversation for us to be having.”

“Why?” Ruby shrugged. “It’s not like I’ve got the best view of my own chest. You’ve known me since I came to Beacon, so you would notice if my chest got fuller. What do you think?” Ruby reached over and grabbed one of Weiss’s hands. “Here,” she said, putting Weiss’s hand on her chest. “What do you think?”

X X X

“Blake!”

Blake turned to see Ruby waving frantically at her from amongst the bookshelves. She was holding Weiss. The heiress appeared to have passed out, and her cheeks were a rosy red.

“What happened?” Blake asked.

“I don’t know,” Ruby replied. “I just asked her if my chest had gotten bigger, and she passed out.”

“Really?” Blake bit back a smile. She’d have to put some more money in the betting pool. “Was that all?”

“Well, yeah. Actually… wait. I kind of put one of her hands on my chest, so she could check, but I don’t see how that matters.”

Blake patted Ruby on the head and then reached over to lift Weiss into her arms. “Oh, Ruby. I’ll tell you when you’re a little bit older.”

“Hey!” Ruby huffed and folded her arms across her chest. “I’m not a kid, Blake.”

“Yes, Ruby, I know.” Blake chuckled and moved toward her table. She could prop Weiss up in a chair until she regained consciousness. “And that’s the problem.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> Because Ruby is oblivious, and Weiss is finally starting to see what’s right in front of her… meanwhile, Blake is going to make a killing through the betting pool.
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	31. Conflict Resolution

**Conflict Resolution**

Yang was conflicted. She loved her little sister very much, and she would normally have done anything in her power to help her, but this was different. Way different. Ruby wanted help picking out sexy lingerie. Her little sister – sweet, innocent, little Ruby – wanted help picking out sexy lingerie. 

Sure, Ruby wasn’t a little girl anymore, but still… this was Ruby – the same Ruby who could ramble about her weapon for hours or spend an entire day in a bakery. Heck, Ruby still pouted whenever she went out and the supermarket was out of strawberries.

And Yang had absolutely no doubt about whom Ruby wanted to show her lingerie off to. It was Weiss. Now, Yang had warmed up to Weiss a lot since they’d first met. The heiress was now one of her closest friends and an integral part of the team. Yang trusted Weiss with her life, and there weren’t a lot of people she’d say that about. But there were some things more important to Yang than her own life, and Ruby was one of them.

Yang had kept her reservations mostly to herself when Ruby and Weiss had started dating. Ruby seemed so much happier with Weiss, and Yang wasn’t one to stand in the way of her sister’s happiness. Of course, Yang had sat Weiss down for a long, long talk, making it very clear what would happen if she broke Ruby’s heart. Needless to say, Weiss had gotten the message. If Ruby and Weiss were thinking of taking their relationship to the next level, then perhaps it was time for her to sit down and have another chat with Weiss.

Yes, that was it. She could help Ruby pick out the perfect set of lingerie and threaten Weiss about what would happen if she ever thought of getting inside the aforementioned lingerie.

X X X

Weiss froze when she entered her apartment to find Yang sitting on her couch. This was bad, very bad. Ever since they had completed their training at Beacon and become fully fledged huntresses, Yang only ever appeared on her couch uninvited if something seriously bad was about to happen or if she was going to deliver a threat – or ten – regarding Ruby. Well, there was also that one time Yang had crashed on her couch after getting on Blake’s bad side, but they’d agreed never to speak of that again. Yang had been forced to grovel to the Faunus, and the only thing the blonde hated more than grovelling was other people knowing about it. Since Weiss had yet to receive any calls from Blake, she could only assume that Yang was here to threaten her. Wonderful.

“Ruby has asked me to help her pick out some sexy lingerie.”

Weiss twitched. This was worse than she’d feared. She and Ruby had talked about taking the physical side of their relationship further, but Weiss had decided to leave the matter in Ruby’s hands. The younger woman had proven to be a wonderful girlfriend, but Weiss didn’t want to pressure her into anything she wasn’t ready for. Ruby was two years younger than her. In a decade, those two years wouldn’t mean anything. Right now, however, they meant a lot, and it had always humbled Weiss to know how much Ruby trusted her. She wasn’t about to break that trust.

“Is that so?”

“Yeah.” Yang patted the spot beside her on the couch. “How about you sit down?”

“I think I’ll stand, Yang. I happen to enjoy living.” Weiss had seen Yang mangle enough people to know that getting within arm’s reach was a bad idea.

“Suit yourself.” Yang gave Weiss a distinctly toothy smile and put her feet up on the coffee table. Weiss growled. She hated when people did that. “So, it seems like Ruby wants to go all the way with you.”

“That is between Ruby and me.”

“Yeah, it is. But I thought I’d share my thoughts on the subject, so I don’t have to kill you later. That would make Ruby really sad, which would suck, and I guess Blake would be pretty pissed off too.” Yang smirked. “I’m not an idiot. I know that at some point you and Ruby will probably have sex. And I know that you will make it a totally wonderful and magical experience for her, or I’ll make you wish you were dead. But… I just wanted to make it very clear that if you push her, if you pressure her, if you ask her to do things she isn’t ready for…” Yang’s Semblance flared to life. “We’re going to have a problem, and I’m going to put you in a box. Are we clear?”

“Crystal clear.” Weiss scowled. “But you don’t really think I’d force Ruby into anything. If you did, I’d already be dead. Besides, we both know how I feel about Ruby. I’ll wait as long as I have to. She’s more than worth it.”

“Oh?” Yang raised one eyebrow. “And if she never wants to have sex?”

Weiss knew for a fact that wasn’t true – Ruby had made that abundantly clear on their last date. “Then I’ll have to deal with being the world’s richest but most sexually frustrated woman.”

“Good answer.” Yang got to her feet. “I’ll see you later.”

“Wait…” Weiss’s eyes narrowed. “Did you empty my fridge while you were waiting for me?” 

Yang laughed. “Yep.”

X X X

“Did my sister come over and threaten you?” Ruby asked as she settled into her chair at the table Weiss had gotten them at the restaurant. “She looked a little too happy helping me pick out lingerie.”

“As a matter of fact, she did,” Weiss replied. “She also put her feet on my coffee table and emptied my fridge.” Weiss made a face. “If she wasn’t your sister, I’d have stabbed her.”

“Poor you.” Ruby grinned. “But you wouldn’t have stabbed her. I know you’ll never admit it, but you really do like her. She didn’t punch you or anything, did she?”

“No.” Weiss chuckled. “The last thing she wants is you chasing her around with your scythe. But speaking of lingerie… what did you end up getting?”

Ruby’s smile was equal parts mysterious and alluring. “Play your cards right tonight, and you’ll find out.”

X X X

Weiss did indeed find out. And after finding out, she stopped being annoyed at Yang. Yang could set her coffee table on fire and steal her fridge, just so long as she helped Ruby buy more lingerie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> I can imagine Yang being a very overprotective big sister when Ruby and Weiss start dating. It’s one thing to trust Weiss with her sister, but it’s quite another to trust her with Ruby. Then again, this is Team RWBY we’re talking about. Yang might be stubborn as a mule sometimes, but Weiss, Blake, and Ruby can be just as bad.
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	32. Hide And Seek

**Hide And Seek**

It wasn’t even remotely fair, but Blake wasn’t about to complain. Besides, how often were her team and Team JNPR going to pick hide and seek in the middle of the night as a training exercise? She was going to enjoy this while she could, and she certainly wasn’t averse to winning.

And she was definitely going to win.

She’d caught Nora first. The redhead was not exactly the most subtle person, and she’d left such an obvious trail that Blake didn’t even have to try to find her. She’d caught Jaune next. He’d done his best to hide his tracks, but he still walked far too loudly for her to miss. All she had to do was get in his general vicinity and then make some noise, prompting him to move. 

Ren was next. He was much tougher. He had the good sense to stay put and stay quiet, but she’d been able to track him by following Nora. After being found, the first thing Nora had done was go after Ren, so they could go off and do something else. Blake had simply waited for Nora to drag Ren out of a tree before revealing herself.

After that, she’d caught Yang. Like Nora, Yang didn’t have a subtle bone in her body although she’d spent enough time around Blake to know that the Faunus would be a difficult opponent in hide and seek. Yang had kept as quiet as possible, but Blake knew her scent. She’d found Yang easily enough and then slipped back into the shadows before the blonde could drag her into a headlock.

After Yang was Pyrrha. The other girl was surprising good at hiding although Blake shouldn’t have been too surprised. Pyrrha seemed to be good at everything. In the end, Blake had only caught her because Pyrrha had gotten worried about Jaune and ventured out of her hiding place, catching Blake’s attention. Even so, Pyrrha had almost managed to get away, hiding once again, but Blake had gotten close enough to track her by scent.

As for Ruby and Weiss…

Blake had caught the two of them making out instead of hiding. She’d given them an extra couple of minutes before doubling back and catching both of them. After all, she had a game to win, but she did want to be a good teammate.

X X X  
 **  
Omake  
**  
Velvet was fairly certain that hide and seek wasn’t supposed to be this scary. Maybe her presence had brought out some of Blake’s more predatory feline instincts, but she was definitely terrified now. Whenever she turned around, there were amber eyes watching her from the shadows. More than once, she’d heard a twig snap behind her and turned, only to feel the fleeting touch of hands against her shoulders or back.

“Uh… Blake… maybe we should stop the game now?” Velvet asked. “You’re kind of freaking me out.”

All she got was a low growl.

“Okay,” Yang said, ignoring Velvet and leaping into the bushes to drag out Blake. “Now, you’re just being weird. You do realise that this is hide and seek? You’re not actually hunting prey.”

Blake twitched and then nodded. “Sorry about that, Velvet. It’s… been a while since I’ve actually hunted anything.”

“Oh. Okay.” Velvet shrugged. “Uh… maybe you could hunt Yang?”

Yang and Blake exchanged looks.

“Yes, I could do that.” Blake smiled toothily. “I’ll give you five minutes, Yang. Start running.”

Velvet was halfway back to her team’s camp when she heard Yang screaming. For a second, she almost went back. What if Yang needed help? Blake could be pretty scary. Then she realised what sort of screaming it was. She blushed. If Yang needed any help, she was most definitely getting it from Blake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> Never mess with Blake when it comes to hide and seek… unless you’re Yang. Then definitely mess with her.
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	33. Incentive

**Incentive**

Weiss was not surprised to find their dorm room absolutely spotless when she got back from the library. Ruby and Yang always did this. Whenever it was time to study, they found something else to do. Cleaning that had been put off for weeks suddenly became the most interesting thing in the world. Books that were already organised suddenly needed to be re-organised. And all the weapon maintenance that Weiss knew Ruby and Yang did regularly suddenly needed to be redone – twice.

If it could help them to avoid studying, Ruby and Yang would do it.

“Oh, hi, Weiss.” Ruby waved. She was in the middle of re-organising her textbooks on her desk. “I was just, uh, organising, you know, to help me study… later.”

“How convenient.” Weiss’s eyes narrowed. “We’re studying. Now.”

“Weiss, can I speak to you for a second?” Blake asked. The Faunus was reading on her bed.

“About what?”

“Just come with me.” Blake tugged Weiss out into the corridor.

“What is it?”

“Do you know why they procrastinate?” Blake asked.

“Because they don’t like studying.” Weiss sighed. “I don’t know why they can’t be more like you. “You’re always readying for the tests and –”

“It’s not that they mind studying. They mind studying with you.” Blake saw the flash of hurt in Weiss’s eyes before the heiress’s expression blanked. She softened her voice. “Look, Weiss, you’re our friend. We like you. We like you a lot. But you’re also kind of a psycho when it comes to studying. Ruby and Yang… they don’t really do well under that approach.”

Weiss took a deep breath. Blake could see that she was fighting the urge to march off. “Go on.”

“It’s about incentivising,” Blake said, using language that she knew Weiss would understand. “Both Ruby and Yang are highly goal-oriented people. If you give them a reason to study, they will.”

“I would think that doing well on the exam is reason enough.”

“Those exams aren’t exactly practical. Both Ruby and Yang prefer more tangible incentives.”

Something about the way Blake said ‘incentives’ piqued Weiss’s interest. “And what incentives have you been offering Yang? I have noticed that her marks have increased substantially over the past couple of months.”

“Oh, a few things.” Blake’s eyes gleamed. “Nothing you’d want to know about.”

It took a moment for Blake’s meaning to sink in.

“What?” Weiss shrieked. “Have you been offering Yang… favours in exchanging for her studying?”

Blake threw her head back and laughed. “Yang is my girlfriend, Weiss. You already know that we make out. I might, on occasion, point out that we could make out more if we didn’t have to worry about her flunking out of any of our classes.”

“That’s… that’s…”

“The word you’re looking for, Weiss, is genius.” Blake snickered.

“But Ruby and I… we’re not…”

“And whose fault is that?” Blake’s gaze was suddenly sharp. “Ruby isn’t a little girl anymore, Weiss. You know that. I know that. Everyone knows that. And if you don’t ask her out, it won’t be long before someone else does. Not even Yang can scare everyone off forever.” Blake paused. “Anyway, the point is that you could give Ruby incentives to study. They don’t have to be the same as mine.”

“I guess.” Weiss made a face. “About the asking her out thing… who wants to ask Ruby out?”

“I’d rather not say. The last thing we need is for you to go off and stab anyone. Just… don’t keep her waiting. Like I said, Yang can’t scare people away forever, and Yang, despite what she says sometimes, actually likes you. I like you. Ruby, well, I’m pretty sure she more than likes you.” Blake patted Weiss on the back. “Come up with some incentives, and Ruby will ace the test. I promise you that.”

X X X

Ruby didn’t just ace the test. She murdered it – and tap-danced on its grave while playing a banjo.

Weiss’s incentive?

Well, Weiss might have maybe mentioned that she would have more time to go out if she didn’t have to worry about her teammates failing any of their classes. Why, with more free time on her hands, she might even be able to take Ruby to that wonderful new bakery that had opened, the one that made the most delicious cake with strawberries on top. Some people might even call it a date.

Naturally, Blake and Yang were only too happy to take advantage of the time Weiss and Ruby spent out of the dorm room. After all, there were certain things they could only do when they had the room to themselves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> I’ve always thought that Ruby would respond well to incentives, especially if the incentives involve Weiss.
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	34. Princess And Assassin

Note: This is very much an AU.

X X X  
 **  
Princess and Assassin  
**  
Crown Princess Weiss Schnee did not even bother to look up as the cloaked assassin stepped out of the shadows and raised his dagger. Why should she? There was absolutely no need whatsoever for her to concern herself with something so mundane as a mere assassin. A moment later, the dagger slipped from his hands, and he clutched at his throat in a vain attempt to staunch the sudden flow of blood. He hit the floor with a wet thump, and Weiss paused in her review of some recently proposed legislation just long enough to raise one eyebrow at the graceful figure that stood over the downed assassin.

“Did you really have to slit his throat? Now, there is blood all over the carpet.”

Amber eyes twinkled in amusement. “My apologies, Your Highness. I shall have the rug replaced immediately.”

Weiss rolled her eyes. “Humour, Blake? You must be very bored indeed.” Her brows furrowed, and her lips curled in distaste. “That’s the third assassin they’ve sent this month.”

“He’s the seventh, actually.” Blake began to roll the body up in the soiled rug. “I dealt with the other four before they even reached your chambers. The three who did were rather skilled.”

“I’m not sure whether I should be worried or reassured.” Weiss put her parchment down and studied Blake. The Faunus had been in her employ for several years now. After all, what better way to deal with assassins than to hire the best one available to protect her? “Was he from the White Fang?”

“Most likely.” Blake frowned. “They’re getting nervous. That’s why they’ve been trying so hard to kill you.”

“What they want and what they’ll get are two very different things.” 

Weiss scowled. She paid Blake very handsomely for her services, but the Faunus had other reasons for wanting Weiss to stay alive. Under her father’s rule, Faunus were second-class citizens. Weiss was far more sympathetic to their plight, and they could look forward to much greater rights and even full citizenship once Weiss took over from her father. That was why the White Fang wanted her dead so much. Their separatist movement only appealed to Faunus because of how poorly they were treated.

“It won’t be long now, Blake. My father intends to step down within three years.”

“That soon?” Blake asked as she lifted the rolled-up rug – and the body it contained – onto her shoulder.

“He thinks I am almost ready.” Weiss pursed her lips. “What are you going to do with that?”

“It’s probably best if you don’t know.” Blake smiled faintly. “Although you may be interested to know about this: I’ve heard news that the Southern Army is making its way back to the capital.”

“And how would you now that?” Weiss asked. “I have yet to hear anything about that.”

“I have eyes and ears everywhere, Your Highness.” Blake inclined her head. “I have it on good authority that Captain Rose is perfectly fine. In fact, I hear she distinguished herself on the battlefield.”

Weiss tried to keep her expression neutral and failed. “Captain Rose is a most capable soldier, one of Vale’s finest.” She looked away. “I can only hope that my father recognises her worth upon her return.”

“In other words, you’re hoping he promotes her.” Blake chuckled. “It would be impossible for a princess, never mind the crown princess, to marry a mere commoner, even a captain. But what if that mere commoner were to become a war hero and rise to the rank of general? Perhaps it would be possible then.” Her voice softened. “Be careful, Your Highness. If others notice how much you favour Ruby, she will be drawn into the games the nobility plays.” 

“I know that.” Weiss sighed before a mischievous gleam entered her eyes. “And what of Captain Xiao Long?”

Blake adjusted the rug on her shoulder. Faunus were stronger than humans, on average, so she could handle the burden. “She’s due back in the capital within the next week. I understand that she’s keen on seeing her sister again. They are very close.”

“And I assume that my chief handmaiden will be seeing her at some point during her visit?” Weiss asked.

Blake smirked. For obvious reasons, she couldn’t shadow Weiss without a cover story. Being Weiss’s chief handmaiden gave her every reason in the world to be around Weiss. “Of course.”

“You do realise that you can’t tell her what you really do for me, right?”

“I know.” Blake nodded. “But that doesn’t mean I can’t spend time around her. And if she does get promoted…”

“Then it would seem that I am not the only one hoping for promotions.” Weiss laughed. Captain Yang Xiao Long was rough around the edges, but her loyalty to the crown, and to Weiss, in particular, was without question. Weiss had earned that loyalty by supporting both Yang’s and Ruby’s rises through the ranks. With any luck, she would be able to promote at least one of them to her council when she took the throne. “I suppose I’ve kept you long enough. That looks very heavy.”

Blake headed toward the door. “I shall return shortly. If another assassin comes while I am gone, try not to die.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> There’s nothing quite like a bit of AU goodness. Besides, what’s not to love about Blake the assassin and Weiss the princess?
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	35. Ouch

**Ouch**

Yang gaped. “Ruby, what happened to your eye?”

The younger girl winced. “Well, you know how you said Weiss and I should work on our unarmed fighting more?” She shrugged. “Weiss kind of punched me in the head.”

Yang gave a low growl. Nobody gave her little sister a black eye. Nobody. But before she could take more than a couple of steps, Ruby stopped her. “What are you doing? Let go of me, Ruby. I’m going to go kick Weiss’s ass.”

“No, you’re not.” Ruby sighed. “Because it was kind of my own fault that I got punched in the head.”

“Explain. Now.” Yang needed answers. “And, Ruby, you better not be covering for Weiss. You two are supposed to spar. You shouldn’t be coming back from a simple spar with a black eye.”

“Okay… it’s kind of like this…”

X X X

Ruby frowned in concentration as she circled Weiss. The two of them had a long way to go before they could match Yang and Blake in the unarmed fighting department, but it was something they both wanted to work on. Ruby, in particular, was well aware of how much weaker she was without her weapon.

Unfortunately for Ruby’s health, Weiss had foregone her usual outfit in favour of some very short shorts and a tank top. And all of the physical activity was making it increasingly hard for Ruby to ignore the fact that Weiss was really, really pretty, especially when she was throwing punches and kicks. In fact, Ruby could stare all day and –

WHAM.

“Ruby!” Weiss lowered her fist immediately and rushed over to Ruby’s side. “What happened? You were supposed to dodge that punch. I mean… it wasn’t even a fast punch or anything and…”

“Huh?” Ruby shook her head to try to clear it. “Uh…” She really didn’t want to have to tell Weiss that she’d gotten hit because she’d been too busy staring at the other girl’s chest. “Um… do you think you could get me some ice?”

X X X

Yang stared at Ruby. Then she laughed.

“Hey!” Ruby threw a wild punch at Yang, which the blonde easily caught. “It’s not funny!”

“Actually, it is. I can’t believe it. My own little sister got punched in the head because she was too busy staring at her sparring partner.” Of course, Ruby wasn’t the only one. Blake had once almost knocked Yang unconscious with a kick to the head because Yang had been too busy ogling her legs, but Ruby didn’t need to know that. “How cute.”

“Yang!”

Yang snickered. “Don’t worry, little sister. I’ll make sure it never happens again.”

X X X

Ruby turned up to her next sparring session with Weiss and scowled. “Weiss, why are you wearing a baggy tracksuit?”

Weiss shrugged. “Yang said it might help with our training. I don’t see how it would, but she is the close combat specialist, not me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> I’ve picked on Weiss a lot recently, so I thought it would be nice to balance things out a little.
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	36. Experiments In Teleportation

**Experiments In Teleportation**

Setting aside the totally traumatic way that she’d learned she could teleport – Ruby never wanted to see Weiss in that much danger again – Ruby had to admit that teleporting was pretty awesome. It was certainly very convenient, especially once she’d gotten the hang of it. 

What she still wasn’t sure about, however, was whether or not she could teleport with someone else. She was pretty sure she could. After all, she made it through each teleport okay. Then again, most people were immune to the side effects of their own Semblance. What if her teleportation imploded people or something? She grimaced. What if it turned them inside out?

So Ruby decided to experiment. The last thing she wanted to do was to implode someone or turn them inside out. She already knew that she could teleport with inanimate objects. Her scythe made it through perfectly fine each time, along with her clothing. All she needed to know was if she could teleport with a living thing. 

Her first test subject was a butterfly. It made it through unscathed, or so it seemed. From there, she slowly but steadily worked her way up through the ladder of animal life until she was finally confident enough to ask one of the others to volunteer. Plus, she couldn’t exactly kidnap a gorilla to practice on.

“So… who wants to teleport with me?” Ruby asked.

“Uh…” Yang winced. “Are you sure that’s a good idea? I mean… what if we explode?”

“Don’t worry. It should be fine.” Ruby nodded and struck her most confident pose. “I’ve tested it on lots of animals already. I mean yesterday I teleported with a hamster. It was completely fine.”

“And by fine you mean that it didn’t explode?” Weiss asked. “Or implode or turn inside out?”

“Nope. It was one hundred per cent okay.” Ruby paused. “Although it did kind of run into a wall after I let it go so…”

“That doesn’t sound too promising,” Blake said. 

“Look, I’m sure it’ll be okay. It was probably just surprised.” Ruby nodded firmly. “I wouldn’t ask one of you if I wasn’t absolutely sure nothing bad would happen.”

“I guess I could give it a try.” Yang shrugged. “Although if I die, I am totally haunting you for the rest of your life. Now, what do I do?”

Ruby walked over to Yang and held her hand. “Are you ready?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be.”

“Don’t worry. We won’t be going that far.”

The pair vanished and then reappeared on the opposite side of the training field. Yang appeared to be completely fine – until she dropped to her knees and vomited all over Ruby’s boots.

“Ah!” Ruby grabbed Yang and just barely managed to avoid slipping over. “Are you okay?”

“Ugh…” Yang groaned. “Help…”

One thing that Ruby apparently hadn’t noticed, mostly because the animals she’d tested on were incapable of telling her, was that teleportation had the nasty side effect of producing incredible amounts of nausea in anyone but her.

Oops.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> I’ve always been fascinated by Ruby’s Semblance, and I imagine it would be quite an odd experience for someone else to be caught in the middle of it, especially if it grows from enhanced speed to actual teleportation.
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	37. How To Beat Ruby At Tag… Sort Of

**How To Beat Ruby At Tag… Sort Of**

Yang wasn’t the fastest person out there. Sure, she was faster than most people, but she couldn’t hold a candle to Ruby. Heck, Ruby had even learned how to teleport. However, Yang liked to win, especially when the odds were completely stacked against her, like, say, in a game of tag against Ruby.

Beating Ruby in a game of tag couldn’t be accomplished through speed. In fact, Yang was pretty sure that no matter how much she improved her speed, she’d never be as fast as Ruby. But Yang had a plan, and cunning would allow her to achieve what mere speed could not.

“I’ll get you this time, Ruby.” Yang smiled as she walked straight toward her little sister. Ruby didn’t even bother to move – she rarely did, these days, until Yang actually took a swipe at her. “You can bet on it.”

“Really?” Ruby grinned. “It’s been ages since you beat me at tag, Yang.”

“Maybe… but I have a plan.” Yang smirked evilly. She was so close that she could reach out and touch Ruby. Of course, if she tried that, it wouldn’t work. Ruby would be gone long before she made contact. Suddenly, Yang gaped and pointed behind Ruby. “And it’s perfect for – what the hell, Weiss, go back inside! At least put on a shirt!”

As Ruby turned, Yang bit back a laugh. Weiss wasn’t walking around topless, but she knew Ruby. Yang was willing to bet that a topless Weiss was one of the few things that could distract Ruby during a game of tag.

And sure enough, it worked.

“Tag!” Yang tapped Ruby on the arm.

Ruby gasped and turned back around to glare at Yang. “What? You tricked me!”

“Well, yeah. It’s not like I can beat you any other way.”

“Sneaky.” Ruby huffed and then whipped her head around to stare at something behind Yang. Her jaw dropped. “I – Blake, button up your shirt!”

Yang turned – how could she not? – and then felt a tap on her arm.

“Tag.” Ruby giggled. “Fair is fair, Yang.” And then she vanished in a blur of motion.

Yang laughed. “Damn it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> It’s always fun writing a snippet where Yang and Ruby get to engage in a little bit of sisterly competition. 
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	38. Thin Walls

**Thin Walls**

The first inkling that Ruby had that something bad was going to happen was when Yang asked her if she would be okay with sharing a room with Weiss at the hotel while Yang and Blake shared a room of their own. It wasn’t that Ruby minded sharing a room with Weiss, quite the contrary, actually, but she and Yang almost always shared a room whenever their team stayed at a hotel or an inn. They were sisters. It made perfect sense.

Of course, Ruby wasn’t completely oblivious as to why Yang might want to share a room with Blake. The two were in a happy, committed relationship that also happened to involve a great deal of physical affection – physical affection that they hadn’t been able to indulge in for weeks since their team had been stuck on an extended missions tromping through a Grimm-infested wasteland.

Now that they had safely returned to civilisation and were at a hotel, it was only natural that Yang and Blake wanted to reacquaint themselves with the more physical part of their relationship. Heck, Ruby could totally see where Yang was coming from. Blake was, well, really hot, not that Ruby was interested in her that way. Her tastes ran more toward a certain heiress.

Being the wonderful sister that she was, Ruby had agreed to share a room with Weiss while Yang and Blake shared a room, which mysteriously happened to have only one bed. Yep, she’d bet every bit of the reward they’d be getting for completing their mission that Yang and Blake would be spending most of their alone time doing very adult things to each other, which Ruby was totally okay with… well, she was totally okay with it until she discovered how thin the wall between the two rooms was.

She and Weiss were forced to lie in their (unfortunately) separate beds as Yang very vocally informed them about how talented Blake was in the bedroom and how much trouble the Faunus would be in if she even considered stopping what she was doing. Blake hadn’t said a word so far, but Ruby had a theory about that. Her mouth was most likely occupied with something else.

Now, Ruby loved her big sister very much, and Blake was one of her best friends, but there were some things that she really, really did not need to know. For example, she did not need Yang wailing like a banshee about Blake’s apparently unmatched prowess in certain, ahem, oral activities.

“This is a nightmare,” Weiss muttered as she rolled over to meet Ruby’s gaze. “Do they not even care that we can hear them?” Yang let loose another scream which may or may not have involved a mix of expletives and Blake’s name. “Seriously, can I just borrow Crescent Rose and shoot them through the wall?”

“No, your aim with Crescent Rose is terrible. Let me do it.” Ruby cringed as Yang’s voice hit a new, impressively high note. What was Blake doing to her to make Yang sing high soprano? Then again, it was probably better for Ruby’s sanity that she didn’t know. Knowing might have given her ideas, and ideas were a dangerous thing to have when Weiss was lying down in a bed less than six feet away in a negligee that was doing horrible, horrible things to Ruby’s imagination. Suddenly, a very evil idea occurred to Ruby, and a smirk slipped onto her lips. “Hey, Weiss, do you want to mess with them?”

“Will it make them suffer?”

“I can guarantee that it’ll work on Yang. Blake, not so much.”

“I’ll take it.” Weiss scowled. “After all, Yang is the one making all the noise.”

X X X

Yang slumped back onto the bed and tried to catch her breath as Blake finally allowed her a few moments to recover. The Faunus was absolutely evil in the most delicious way possible. But her attempts to recover before Blake inevitably decided to pounce on her again were interrupted when she heard cries coming from next door – the room that Ruby and Weiss were sharing.

“Oh…!” Ruby cried. “Oh!” The cry turned into a long, drawn out moan followed by what sounded like a brief scuffle. “Wait… Weiss… that’s… that’s too big… ohhhh!”

Rest completely forgotten, Yang sat up and pressed her ear against the wall.

“Yang?” Blake asked.

“Shh…” Yang’s brows furrowed as she listened. There was a thump against the wall, and Ruby let loose another moan followed by a gasp.

“What are you doing, Weiss?” Ruby sounded breathless.

“Just be quiet,” Weiss replied. “I know you’ll enjoy this…”

“Wait… Weiss… that’s… you can’t… that… banana! AH!”

That was it.

Yang was not going to just sit there and listen while Weiss… defiled Ruby with a… a piece of fruit! Yang threw on some clothes and raced over to the other room, kicking open the door and getting unready to unleash hell upon the wicked heiress. Nobody, but nobody, did things to her sister with a banana!

But instead of catching Weiss and Ruby in the act, Yang found them completely clothed and laughing their asses off.

“What… but… what?”

“Oh? Could you hear us through the wall?” Weiss asked, far too innocently. “Funny how thin it is.” Her eyes narrowed. “So, you can imagine how we felt when you and Blake decided to get reacquainted.”

Yang slumped against the wall. “So… you two aren’t… the banana…?”

“No, I am not accosting your sister with a banana.” Weiss rolled her eyes. “Please, Yang, we don’t mind if you and Blake feel the need to express your love physically. In fact, we think it’s great that you two care so much about each other. But, please, it’s been a long, long mission, and Ruby and I would like to sleep. Try to be a little quieter.”

“I… I guess we could do that.” Yang got back to her feet.

“Good.” Weiss smiled. “Well, you should probably go back to Blake.”

“Yeah, I’ll do that.” Yang stepped toward the door and then paused. Her gaze raked over the room before settling on the bowl of fruit on the coffee table. There was a bunch of bananas in it. She walked over and grabbed the bowl of fruit before leaving the room, slamming the door shut behind her.

Weiss and Ruby shared a look and then burst out laughing.

“That was incredible.” Weiss snickered. “Ruby, you are the most evil person I know. And the banana thing? That was genius.”

“I do my best.” Ruby sketched a bow. “But how about we get some sleep now.” Her eyes twinkled. “Or I could tell you what I was thinking of when I came up with the banana thing.”

Weiss whacked her over the head with a pillow. “Good night, Ruby.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> Well, I’m not dead. If you follow my tumblr, you’ll know that I’ve been caught up in a lot of stuff lately. Anyway, it’s always fun messing with Yang, especially when Ruby and Weiss are the ones doing it. And never, ever, trust a banana. Those things are evil.
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	39. Teleporting Doesn’t Always Work Properly

**Teleporting Doesn’t Always Work Properly**

When Ruby had learned she could teleport, her first instinct had been to experiment with it as much as possible to learn the limits of her newly discovered ability. In short order, she’d learned several very important things.

First of all, teleporting was hard. It required a huge amount of concentration to pull off in comparison to simply boosting her speed, and even a small mistake could send her to the wrong place. That was okay, though. She’d just have to practice until it became second nature to her.

Teleporting also required far more energy that simply moving extremely quickly. She was slowly making it more efficient, but over short distances, boosting her speed was definitely less energy consuming than teleporting. Then again, teleporting was just so damn cool.

But the strangest quirk about her teleportation was what happened when she tried to teleport with other things. It wasn’t a hassle if she was teleporting with something inanimate. Her clothes and weaponry always made the trip just fine. The trouble only emerged when she tried to teleport with someone else without having the time to properly prepare.

Unfortunately, she didn’t discover that particular problem until she’d been forced to teleport with Weiss.

X X X

Weiss’s eyes widened as the monstrous Grimm rumbled toward her. It was absolutely enormous, and it was at times like this that she sorely missed not having a weapon better suited to simply bashing in her opponent’s skull. Sure, a rapier was a far more graceful and elegant weapon than a sledgehammer, but a sledgehammer to the cranium was perfect for dealing with giant Grimm.

An instant before the Grimm would have crushed her underfoot, she felt more than saw someone grab her. Ruby, she thought, an instant before the whole world seemed to explode in front of her before narrowing down to a single point and then expanding again. It felt like she was being pulled in every direction at once.

Then everything was back to normal, and she found herself held in Ruby’s arms, safely out of the Grimm’s reach. And that was also when she noticed how cold it was. Wait. It wasn’t supposed to be that cold.

“Uh… Weiss…” Ruby looked down at her and then immediately looked away, cheeks a rosy red.

“What?” Weiss asked. Had something gone horribly wrong during the teleport? They’d tested Ruby’s teleportation a number of times, and nothing had ever gone wrong but…

“Hey, Weiss,” Yang shouted as she leapt up and punched the gigantic Grimm in the head. “Put on some clothes.”

“What?” Weiss shrieked, stumbling out of Ruby’s arms. And, sure enough, she was completely naked. Her clothes were still exactly where she’d been before the teleport. They hadn’t made the trip with her. She rounded on Ruby with a snarl. “What the hell?”

Ruby looked anywhere but at Weiss as Blake flitted around them, taking out smaller Grimm. She raised her hands. “It was an accident, I swear! I still don’t understand how the whole teleporting thing works completely! I must have left your clothes behind because I was in such a rush to save you and…”

“Ruby Rose…” Weiss cracked her knuckles and stomped forward.

X X X

“And that is why Ruby looks so traumatised,” Yang said, nodding at Team JNPR.

“Wait… so Ruby teleported with Weiss, but she left Weiss’s clothes behind.” Jaune snickered. “That is so…” Weiss glared daggers at him across the table. “Awful. Yeah, really, really awful.”

“I’m telling you, it was an accident!” Ruby insisted. She scowled at Yang. “And why did you have to tell them, Yang?”

“Because it was funny.” Yang smirked. “And because you and Weiss totally told them when I accidentally made out with one of Blake’s clones instead of her.”

“Well, that was actually funny,” Weiss replied. “What happened to me was horrible.”

“Actually,” Pyrrha said. “You must admit, it does sound kind of amusing. You and Ruby were surrounded by a horde of Grimm, and you decided to argue instead of fight or put your clothes back on.”

“When you put it like that…” Weiss made a face. “But come on, how would you have reacted if, say, Jaune had seen you naked?”

Pyrrha and Jaune exchanged a look. Then they both smiled.

“No way!” Yang shot to her feet. “You’ve seen Pyrrha naked, Jaune?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> Poor, poor Ruby – but it really was an accident. Or was it? 
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	40. Workplace Relations

**Workplace Relations**

Weiss had never been particularly inclined toward informality. There was a certain comfort to be found in protocol, and she knew better than almost anyone how to leverage the unspoken rules of polite conversation to her advantage. It was what made her such a terror in the boardroom and at the negotiating table.

Ruby, of course, was very much an informal person. Upon hearing that Weiss was once again locked up in her office, she was not at all likely to sit quietly in the lobby until called upon to enter the heiress’s domain. Instead, she was highly likely to head over to the closest fast-food restaurant to buy some of the junk that Weiss claimed to detest despite wolfing it down whenever Ruby brought some before teleporting into Weiss’s office.

“Ruby.” Weiss scowled at her girlfriend with all the ire she could muster, which wasn’t much since she’d been awake for the better part of forty-eight hours finalising negotiations to secure mining rights to several promising Dust strikes in territory that they had recently reclaimed from the Grimm. “What have I told you about teleporting into my office? I could have been in an important meeting.”

Ruby grinned. “And what have I told you about not eating or sleeping? I’ll stop teleporting into your office with food when you stop going without food or sleep to get a deal done.”

Weiss huffed. “You are hardly in a position to order me around.”

“Actually, I am.” Ruby put the food down on the table by the window and then sat down on the edge of Weiss’s desk. She poked the other woman in the forehead. “See? You’re totally too weak to fight back.”

“I am not.” Weiss’s stomach grumbled. “Mere lack of food and sleep are not enough to defeat a Schnee, let alone me.”

“Yeah, maybe, but lack of food and sleep plus me definitely are.” Ruby poked Weiss in the forehead again. “Come on, have something to eat. I brought junk food.”

Weiss tried to grab Ruby’s finger and failed. “It’s called junk food for a reason, Ruby. I hardly think eating that is going to make me feel better.”

“I got milkshakes…” Ruby’s voice turned teasing. “And brownies…”

Weiss’s stomach grumbled. “Oh, screw it. Let’s eat. I’m done with all my work for now, anyway.”

Ruby laughed. “That’s the spirit.”

“You know,” Weiss said, going straight for the milkshakes and the brownies. “I keep telling myself that I’m going to eat healthy, but then you come charging in with all this junk food and…”

“You eat healthy about 99% of the time, Weiss,” Ruby replied. “It’s okay to splurge every now and then. Besides, you owe yourself a treat for all the work you’ve been doing. I know I’m not into the whole corporate warfare thing the way you are, but I do try to keep informed. I know these negotiations are important.”

“They’re very important.” Weiss fought the urge to moan. These brownies were so bad for her, but they were so good. And the milkshakes? Horrible but divine. “Dust is critical to our way of life, so ensuring a steady supply is vital. We’re going to have to run more detailed tests to be sure, but these newest strikes could be the largest we’ve hit in decades. The only trouble is the location.”

“The recently reclaimed territory?” Ruby’s brows furrowed. “Is that even approved for resettlement yet? I mean we’ve thinned out the Grimm there a lot, but they’re still running regular extermination missions out there, I think.”

“It hasn’t been approved for resettlement yet, which makes calling it reclaimed territory a bit presumptuous. Still, we have managed to establish several forward outposts. That’s where they’ve been running missions from, actually. At the current rate, we should be able to start more extensive operations within a year although I guess we could always get Yang mad and catapult her in. That would certainly speed things up.”

“It would.” Ruby passed Weiss another brownie. She must have been starving. “So… if this whole thing works out, you’re going to be even richer, huh?”

“I suppose so.” Weiss paused and glanced at Ruby over her milkshake. “I’m not doing this for the money, Ruby. I already have more than enough of that, although I suppose it couldn’t hurt to have some more. This is about the future. No Dust means no future.”

“How long until we run out of Dust?” Ruby asked.

“Given the current rate at which we are using Dust, and taking into account expected increases in usage, our current supplies should last at least another century,” Weiss said. “So it’s not like the world is going to end tomorrow, never mind what some people think.” She made a face. There were always some people claiming that the world was about to run out of Dust. “And we are looking at alternatives, such as artificial Dust production.”

“Artificial Dust production?” Ruby leaned forward. “You can do that?”

Weiss took another sip of her milkshake. “I’m only telling you this because I know I can trust you not to spread it around. My family had been conducting research on artificial Dust production for almost five years now. Given our position in the Dust market, artificially produced Dust is about the only thing that can knock us off the top spot. We’ve decided that if anyone if going to work out how to do it, we will.”

“But can you?” Ruby loved listening to Weiss talk about things like this. The only other place the Schnee seemed more alive was in the midst of battle.

“Not yet, but we’re getting closer every year. Remember, we can already artificially combine different forms of Dust. What we’re trying to do is to artificially create Dust. We’re getting closer every year, and I suspect that we’ll be able to do it within the next decade. Of course, the first few generations of artificial Dust will probably be inferior to natural Dust, but it’s the proof of principle that matters. Once we make artificial Dust, we can worry about improving it.” Weiss nodded firmly. “If we can mass produce Dust on an industrial scale without having to mine it, can you imagine what that would do? It would drive prices down and allow for greater research and innovation due to improved access. It would… change everything. We might even be able to take back all the land we’ve lost to the Grimm over the years.”

Ruby stared at Weiss for a moment and then smiled. “You’re amazing, Weiss. I mean that.”

Weiss blushed. “What?”

“It’s just… you know me. I’m not exactly a big picture person. I lead missions and everything, but you’re here thinking about the future. And I don’t mean just the next mission. You’re thinking decades ahead, maybe even more. It’s… it’s really something.”

Weiss put her milkshake down and patted Ruby’s hand. “You’re not giving yourself enough credit. Why do you think people like me can even worry about the big picture? It’s because people like you are out there making a difference right now.” She paused, and her blush deepened. “And… look, I’ll be honest. I started thinking about the big picture more after I met you and the others. One day… I’d like to have children, Ruby, and I’d like to have them with you. I don’t want them to grow up in a world without hope. I want them to grow up in a world where victory against the Grimm isn’t just some dim hope but actually a strong possibility. Yang, Blake, the others… they’ll probably have kids one day too. I want them to be part of that brighter future. I want my family’s company to stand for something more than just money. I want it to stand for hope.”

Ruby was silent for a long time, and Weiss felt her gut clench. Had she said too much?

“Weiss, you are so awesome.” Ruby grinned. “And I am so, so glad we met.” Weiss breathed a sigh of relief, and Ruby gave her a mischievous smirk. “But children? We’re not even married yet.”

“Um…”

“I mean I know people don’t have to be married to have kids, but I want to be, and really, the only person I want to marry is you, so…” Ruby took a sip of her own milkshake. “You’ll have to propose.”

“What?” Weiss gaped. “Me? Why do I have to propose?”

“Don’t you want to?”

“Of course, I do!” Weiss made a face. “But that’s not the point. Why can’t you propose?”

“I guess I could.” Ruby reached for another brownie and held it up. “Most beloved Weiss…” The heiress’s eyes widened. “There’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you.”

“Ruby…?”

“Can I have this brownie?”

“Gah!” Weiss growled. “Ruby!”

As Weiss chased her around her office, Ruby allowed herself a smile and patted the small box in her pocket. Not today, but soon, very soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> Ruby for the win! But, yeah, I can easily imagine Weiss burying herself in work, only for Ruby to come drag her out of it. Ruby is probably the only person crazy enough to risk her wrath too.
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	41. Carnival

**Carnival**

Maybe it was silly, but Weiss was determined to win a plush toy from one of the stalls at the carnival. Unfortunately, that was proving easier said than done. For all of her skills with a blade, Weiss was not particularly good with a rifle, not even the fake ones the stalls used. On the contrary, she was surprisingly horrible.

Her attempts to knock down a target and secure a plush toy had all failed, leaving her increasingly frustrated and, to put it bluntly, embarrassed that she’d been defeated by such a seemingly simple task. She was Weiss Schnee, heiress to one of the world’s most powerful companies. This should have been easy for her.

“Having fun there?”

Weiss winced and turned to find the rest of her team watching her. Yang had a big grin on her face as she glanced from Weiss to the targets, none of which she’d managed to hit. Blake’s amusement was more reserved – a small quirk of her lips and a twinkle in her eyes – but no less present.

“Oh, come on, Yang.” Ruby gave her older sister a fond swat on the arm. “It’s not like Weiss goes around shooting things all the time. How well do you think you’d do with my scythe?”

“I could totally handle it,” Yang replied. Ruby raised one eyebrow. “Maybe.” The eyebrow went higher. “Sure, I could… a bit.” The eyebrow went higher still. “Fine. I’d probably cut own leg off inside of ten seconds.”

“Yes, you would.” Ruby smiled sunnily. “Which is why I don’t let you borrow it. And, hey, it’s not like I’d do much better with your gauntlets. I’d probably blow my own arms off or something.” She turned back to Weiss. “You haven’t had much practice with rifles before, have you?”

Weiss shook her head. “I didn’t have a lot of time to practice with firearms. I was always practicing with my rapier.”

“Fair enough.” Ruby stepped forward and reached for the rifle. “Do you mind if I have a go?”

Weiss shrugged. “Be my guest.” She handed Ruby the rifle and gave the stall owner some more money. “It’s pretty hard though…” She trailed off as Ruby rattled off five quick shots and knocked over the five furthest targets. “Wow.”

“Heh.” Ruby grinned. “It’s all about practice. You wouldn’t believe how many hours I’ve spent at shooting ranges. Give me Crescent Rose, and I could shoot the ribbon off Blake’s head from a mile away, and all she’d feel would be a breeze.”

“Uh, I’d prefer it if you didn’t do that,” Blake said. “Not that I don’t trust you, but I’d rather not have you firing large calibre rounds at something on my head.”

“Are you sure?” Ruby asked. “Because I could definitely do it.”

“I’ll pass.”

“Ruby, you won a plush toy.” Weiss pointed to the toys on display beside the stall. There were more than a dozen to choose from. “Which one are you getting?”

“Well… which one do you want?” Ruby asked.

“Me? But you’re the one who won something.”

“Yeah, but I want to give it to you, so tell me which one you want.” Ruby handed the rifle back to the stall owner. “Come on, Weiss, I don’t mind.”

“I suppose.” Weiss pointed at a plush wolf. “How about that one?”

“Good choice.” The stall owner handed Weiss the plush toy and gave Ruby a sly wink. “Nothing like winning a plush toy to get on your girlfriend’s good side.”

Weiss and Ruby froze.

“What?”

“We’re not –”

“Oh, my mistake.” The stall owner chuckled. “So, are you going to pay again?”

“I… um… I think I’ll go get some candy floss,’ Ruby said, cheeks still a rosy red as she made a run for it.

“I’ll… I’ll go do… something… yeah…” Weiss hurried after Ruby, the plush toy clutched in her arms.

Yang rolled her eyes. Those two… even a stall owner at a carnival could see it. Her gaze drifted back to the plush toys. There was a cute, black cat amongst them. “Say, Blake, how do you feel about winning me a plush toy?”

Blake reached into her pocket for some money. “Rifles aren’t exactly my thing, but I think that could be arranged…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> I can definitely see Ruby getting banned from different stalls at a carnival for winning too much stuff. As an aside, I’m curious to know more about Winter Schnee, now that they’ve revealed some artwork for her. Hehehe… I can already imagine her messing with Weiss through innuendo that Ruby is too oblivious to notice.
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	42. First Contact

**First Contact**

Ruby was going through her practice routine at one of the empty training yards when she realised that someone was watching her. There wasn’t anything particular unusual about that – it wasn’t every day that people got a chance to see someone swinging around a giant scythe. However, there was something different about today’s watcher. Their gaze was intense and almost familiar.

“You can come out, you know.” Ruby stopped and slung her scythe over her shoulder. “I don’t mind people watching.”

“I’m impressed that you noticed me.” A young woman stepped out into the open. She had pale hair and blue eyes, and her clothing was mostly white with some blue here and there. It suited her.

“Well, my sister always said that I have a knack for noticing people…” Ruby trailed off as she noticed the sabre sheathed at the woman’s side. “Are you a student here too? I don’t think I’ve seen you before although you do look kind of familiar.”

The woman gave an amused chuckle. “I’m not a student here, but I’m not surprised that I look familiar.” Her lips curved up. “I interrupted you during your training. The least I can do is provide you with a sparring partner.”

“Oh, sure. Thanks.” Ruby grinned. “It’s always nice to spar against someone new. One of my teammates, Weiss, is always saying that if you keep sparring against the same people over and over again, you can develop some bad habits.”

“Is that so? She sounds very wise.” There was a trace of mirth in the woman’s voice despite her serious expression. She drew her sabre with a flourish and offered Ruby a salute. “Shall we begin?”

Ruby’s anticipation grew. She could tell, just from that brief display, that her opponent knew how to handle a weapon. “Let’s go!”

The moment the words left her lips, the other woman darted forward. The sabre swept down with astonishing speed, and Ruby jerked her scythe up to parry. The impact of the blow rattled down her arms, and Ruby’s eyes widened. This woman was strong. She was fast too. The instant their weapons met, the woman disengaged and looked for another opening, the sabre moving in swift, precise motions. 

But Ruby had yet to meet someone faster than her. She twisted away from the woman’s attack and spun into one of her own. A sabre was easier to manoeuvre than a scythe, but a scythe could hit a lot harder. The woman blocked her slash and skidded across the ground before her boots finally found purchase.

“You’re fast.” The woman smiled. “And that scythe of yours is no joke.”

Ruby found herself smiling back. This was fun. “I’m just getting warmed up.”

She poured on the speed, and her scythe blurred into one strike after another. The woman dodged what she could and parried the rest, knowing better than to try another hard block against such a heavy weapon. Ruby pressed her advantage until she suddenly found herself on the defensive again after a minute twist of the woman’s blade forced her to overextend.

The woman was on her in a flash, sabre streaking toward her exposed side. Ruby fired Crescent Rose to throw herself back and then lunged forward. The woman flipped up and away, and the scythe dug into the ground.

“I was wondering when you’d start using your scythe properly.” The woman smirked. “There are only two people in the world, Ruby Rose, who can use a weapon like yours properly. I want to see what you can do. Please, don’t keep me waiting.”

Ruby grinned. She could tell that the woman had been holding back too. It was time to put some more of her cards on the table. “Okay then.” Her Semblance stirred. “You asked for it.”

Ruby wasn’t as strong as Yang. She wasn’t as agile as Weiss. And she definitely didn’t have Blake’s instincts. What she did have was speed – pure, overwhelming speed – and she knew Crescent Rose inside and out. A weapon as big as her scythe should have slower its user down. It should have been cumbersome. But in Ruby’s hands, Crescent Rose was a steel wind.

The woman gasped as Ruby vanished, only to reappear behind her, Crescent Rose swinging around with a ridiculous amount of momentum behind it – momentum that only increased when Ruby fired the weapon. Her sabre rushed to block the attack – there simply wasn’t time to dodge – and the woman was nearly thrown off her feet. By the time she’d steadied herself, Ruby was midway through another strike.

It was like being caught in a giant blender, with Crescent Rose seemingly coming from every direction, each attack punctuated by rose petals and gunshots, as Ruby cut loose. Somehow, the woman managed to weather the storm, dodging with uncanny grace and agility, and as Ruby swung around for a strike from the woman’s blind spot, the woman thrust her sword up and back without even looking.

Ruby stopped. The sabre was an inch from her chest. Her scythe, however, was a hair’s breadth from the woman’s throat.

“How did you know I’d be attacking from there?” Ruby asked.

The woman laughed. “Because I would have seen an attack from any other spot.” She straightened. “I’m impressed.” She turned and sheathed her sabre. “Well fought.”

“Um, thanks.” Ruby smiled. “Hey, I forgot to ask you your name.”

The woman leaned forward and gave an amused laugh when Ruby blushed. “I can see why my sister likes you.”

“Your sister?”

“My name is Winter… Winter Schnee.”

X X X  
 **  
Omake: Winter Is Coming  
**  
A few days earlier…

“No…” Weiss shook her head and hurled her scroll away. “NO!”

Ruby was up on her feet in an instant, zipping across the room to comfort Weiss. “What? What’s happening?”

“It can’t be…” Weiss had gone from rocking herself back and forth to curling up into a ball. “It just can’t be…”

“What?” Ruby pulled Weiss up. “Weiss, you have to tell me what’s wrong, so I can help you.”

“No one can help me.” Weiss stumbled away.

“You’re not making any sense.” Ruby grabbed Weiss before the other girl could do anything else weird. “Please, just tell me what’s wrong!” Finally, Weiss met Ruby’s gaze. Ruby had never seen her so frightened. “Weiss?”

“Winter… Winter is coming.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> Winter has arrived! If you’ve been following my tumblr (I go by razieltwelve over there), you might have noticed several Winter-related snippets going up. There’s nothing like another character to make things even more interesting!
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	43. Chapter 43

**Are We There Yet**

“Are we there yet?”

Weiss twitched.

“Are we there yet?”

Weiss twitched again.

“Are we there –”

“NO!” Weiss shot to her feet and glared at Yang. If looks could kill, Yang would have been obliterated in a storm of thermonuclear fire followed by the next ice age. “We are not there yet, and if you so much as even think of asking that again, I swear I’m going to stab you.”

Rather than look chastised, Yang simply smirked. She was bored, and annoying Weiss was an excellent way to alleviate that boredom. She’d have tried swiping Blake’s book, but the last time she’d done that had not ended well. Blake had an evil streak, a well-hidden one, sure, but it was there. “Easy there, princess. I was merely inquiring about how close we were to our destination. I mean we’ve been on this transport for ages. I’m beginning to wonder if we’ll die of old age before we get to the drop-off point.

“Yes.” Blake smiled faintly. She didn’t have to annoy Weiss. Yang would do it for her. “You are being a little harsh on Yang.”

“I suppose.” Weiss took a deep breath and composed herself. She needed to be calm and poised. She was a Schnee. She was better than this. She was –

“Are we there yet?”

“Yang!” Weiss leapt at the blonde and pulled her into a headlock. Screw composure! It was a testament to how absolutely not threatened Yang felt that she didn’t even both to try breaking out of it. Weiss could bluster all she wanted, but they all knew that the heiress had a roughly zero per cent chance of beating her in a fistfight. “So help me, if you ask again…”

“Fine. I won’t say it.” Yang nodded at Blake. “She will.”

“Oh no.” Blake shook her head. “I am not getting Weiss angry at me. We’ve got at least another couple of hours before we get there.”

“Thank you for being reasonable,” Weiss said. “Now, if you could just help me strangle Yang, I would be most appreciative.”

“About that.” Blake pried Weiss off Yang. “I know she can be kind of annoying, but she is also my girlfriend. I’m afraid that I can’t endorse any Yang strangling.”

Yang snickered at Weiss from behind Blake. “Go Blake!”

“Yes, go me.” Blake rolled her eyes. She should probably put a stop to this before it got out of hand, even if it was funny. “But, please, stop teasing Weiss.”

“Fine. I promise that I’ll stop teasing Weiss.” Yang’s eyes twinkled. “Get her, Ruby!”

Ruby took a moment to think about it and then vanished in a swirl of rose petals to appear right behind Weiss. “Are we there yet?” she whispered into Weiss’s ear. “Are we there yet?”

“Gah!” Weiss roared and spun around, trying to grab the other girl, but Ruby was far too fast for her to catch. The next ten minutes degenerated into a frantic game of tag as Weiss tried her hardest to catch Ruby while the younger girl smiled, stayed out of reach, and continued to tease her.

“Are we there yet?” Ruby ducked under Weiss’s outstretched arms. “Are we there yet?” She vanished just as Weiss was about to grab her. “Are we there yet?”

Finally, out of sheer desperation, Weiss simply threw caution to the wind and hurled herself at where she thought Ruby would appear next. Ruby was fast, sure, but Weiss was her partner. She knew Ruby.

The two of them tumbled to the floor as Weiss tackled Ruby mid-step. The only one more surprised than Ruby was Weiss. She’d actually caught Ruby, and it wasn’t because Ruby had let her. Naturally, Ruby was going to give up that easily.

“So…” Ruby said, grinning up at Weiss. “Are we there yet?”

Weiss snarled. Her eyes blazed. “What is it going to take to shut you up, Ruby?”

“Have you considered that maybe you can’t shut her up?” Yang laughed. “I mean it is Ruby.”

Ruby shrugged and gave Weiss another teasing look. “Yang does have a point, Weiss. Remember when we first met? You couldn’t shut me up then and – mppphhhh!”

Yang and Blake both stared as Weiss silenced Ruby with a kiss.

“Well…” Yang tilted her head to one side, lips curving up into a lazy smile. “I can’t say that I saw that one coming.”

Blake smirked. “I did.”

“There.” Weiss pulled back and licked her lips. “I finally found a way to shut you up. Keep talking and I’ll have to do it again.”

Ruby blushed furiously and then tilted her head up, so she could stare right into Weiss’s eyes. “Are we there yet?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> Only Ruby can annoy Weiss into romance. Heh. But, yeah, I can’t help but see Weiss as the person on the team who gets poked for the amusement of the others. Yang would just put someone through a wall, Blake seems like she might have a hidden murderous streak, and Ruby is just too friendly and easy going.
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	44. Clandestine

**Clandestine**

Winter was awakened by the cold. She blinked blearily and sat up. What was going on? She could have sworn that she’d closed all the windows and turned the heat up. Indeed, previous experience had taught her that leaving windows open was an excellent way to end up dead.

“Why are you here?” 

The voice came from the darkness on the opposite side of the room, and a smile slipped across her lips. She’d been expecting a visit, just not so soon. “Can I turn on the light, or is this conversation going to consist solely of you growling at me from the dark while I squint in your general direction? Not all of us can see in the dark, you know.”

The other occupant of the room made a disgusted sound. “Fine, turn on the lights. I’m going to close the window.”

“I’m assuming that’s how you got in. Have you considered approaching me like a normal person?” Winter reached for the lamp on her bedside table and turned it on. “Well?”

Blake shut the window and turned to face Winter. “Neither of us are normal people, and a Faunus asking to see you in the middle of the night would have drawn far too much attention. Sneaking in was the best way.”

“Please tell me that sneaking was all you did.” Winter yawned and ran one hand through her hair. “I’m going to have a hard time explaining things if you’ve stabbed anybody. I also happen to like my security personnel, Blake.”

“No one noticed me.” Blake sat down on the bed, half a step out of reach. “But you need better security, Winter.”

“Well, I did offer you a job. You turned me down, if I recall correctly.” Winter’s lips twitched. “Although you were trying to assassinate me, so I can understand why you refused. It would have been unbelievably awkward.”

“I wasn’t going to assassinate you.” Blake looked away. That had been one of several missions that had convinced her that the White Fang had lost their way. How was murdering a young woman in her sleep supposed to help their cause? Blake had gotten all the way to Winter’s room, only to find that the White Fang had been played. Winter had known she was coming, and she’d barely managed to escape. “I just… I wouldn’t have killed you. That’s not how I do things.”

“I could see that, which is why I offered you the job.” Winter studied Blake intently. “You look better, Blake. Beacon has been good for you.”

“It has.” Blake folded her hands together on her lap. After she’d left the White Fang, she hadn’t known where to go or what to do. Somehow, Winter had managed to locate her, and the older woman had made a very simple offer: go to Beacon, keep an eye on Weiss, and look out for White Fang activity. Blake still wasn’t sure why she’d accepted, but she had, and here she was. “It turns out that you were right about a lot of things.”

“I usually am. But, tell me, how is my little sister?” Winter changed tack. Blake had never been comfortable discussing her personal life.

“Have you been reading my reports at all? I’ve been quite thorough.”

“Yes, you have been impressively thorough, but we both know that there are things you haven’t put in the reports. I’d also prefer to hear things straight from you.” Winter put up one hand to forestall Blake’s reply. “I understand your concern. Weiss was your mission, but she is now your teammate and friend. But I’m asking you this as Weiss’s sister. How is she, Blake? Is my little sister safe? Is she happy?”

Blake sighed. To say that Winter and Weiss had a complicated relationship would have been an enormous understatement. “She’s fine. In fact, I’d say that she’s happier than I’ve ever seen her. You’ll see for yourself when you meet her.” She frowned. “Please tell me that you’re going to meet her.”

“I will, in my own time.” Winter pursed her lips. “And I expected as much. Weiss… she was under a lot of pressure at home. As the heiress to the company, there was so much for her to learn, so many things for her to think about. No one could see her for whom she was. All people ever seemed to see was a way to the top, the next prodigy to latch onto to bolster their own chances of success.” Bitterness had crept into Winter’s voice. “It was killing her, Blake. Oh, she’d never admit it, but it was.”

Blake got up and went to the bar. She wasn’t nearly drunk enough for a conversation about Schnee family politics. She came back with some brandy for each of them. The brandy had a slow, sweet burn to it. She wondered how much it cost – probably far too much. “You don’t have to worry about any of that here. Ruby didn’t even know who Weiss was, Yang doesn’t give a damn, and I… let’s just say that your sister and I didn’t get along at first.”

“I would say that is a remarkable understatement.”

“But she’s my friend now. I’d give my life for her, and I know she’d do the same for me.” Blake took another sip of her brandy and wondered if she could swipe a bottle to bring back to the dorm room. Given how Weiss was up in arms about the upcoming exams, she would probably need it.

“My sister has always had problems making friends, Blake. But she will do anything she can to protect the few she has.” Winter drank some more brandy. “I must admit that I’m quite curious about the leader of your team. Your reports suggest that Ruby and Weiss are very close.”

“Ruby has a gift for making friends.” Blake’s voice softened. “I’m guessing that Weiss hasn’t met a lot of genuine people, and Ruby is as about as genuine as they come. I doubt she could lie to save her own life.” Blake tapped the side of her glass thoughtfully. “She is probably Weiss’s best friend, and I wouldn’t be surprised if they end up being more one day.”

“Oh?” Winter chuckled. “What makes you say that?”

“A few things. You’ll notice when you meet them.” Blake pursed her lips. “But you never answered my question. Why are you here?”

“I’m here for the tournament, of course.” Smiling faintly at Blake’s sceptical look, Winter continued, “And to keep an eye out on my sister.”

Blake was instantly on alert. “Do you have anything solid, or is this just another one of your hunches?”

“You shouldn’t be so doubtful about my hunches, Blake. After all, you were one of my hunches.”

Blake inclined her head, acknowledging Winter’s point. She would never have been able to get into Beacon without Winter’s help. The Schnee had manufactured a false identity and academic history for her. She was fairly sure that Ozpin had seen through it, but no one else had, and the headmaster seemed inclined to let things go on as they had. Winter had advised her to leave the matter alone. Apparently, Ozpin had his own reasons to support their agenda.

“But, yes, I do have something solid.” Winter was serious now. “I have reason to believe that the White Fang or or its allies have already infiltrated the tournament.”

“The visiting students…” Blake had already run background checks on anyone she’d noticed paying undue attention to her team or Weiss, but she’d come up empty so far.

“I know what you’re thinking. Nothing will come up on background checks. My sources couldn’t tell me much, but the new infiltrators are supposed to be some of their best. You can bet that they’ll have solid histories and identities in place. They may even be actual students.” Winter scowled. “That’s why I need you to keep doing what you’ve been doing. Watch Weiss, report anything suspicious to me, and make sure she stays alive.”

“I will.” Blake finished her brandy and set the glass down on Winter’s bedside table.

“You’d better. I know what you want, Blake, and Weiss is your best shot for improving life for your fellow Faunus. Once she’s in charge… once she’s in charge, she’ll change things. That’s why I don’t mind stepping aside.”

“You could change things too.” Blake frowned at the hint of self-loathing in Winter’s words.

“Perhaps, but Weiss has never been particularly good at plotting, skulduggery, and behind the scenes manoeuvring. I, however, excel at all those things. My hands are too dirty to make the changes that have to be made. Weiss will take over the company, and she’ll do it with clean hands. No one will be able to object to the changes she will make.”

“You could at least tell her some of this.”

“No, it’s better that she doesn’t know. Eventually, everything I’ve done will catch up with me. It’ll be better if she can honestly say that she never knew.”

Blake shook her head. “At least talk to her when you visit. She genuinely seems to think that you dislike her.”

“I want her to.” Winter’s eyes gleamed. “I want her to surpass me in every way. The only way she’ll ever do that is if she thinks she has to beat me.” Winter gestured at the window. “You should get going. Won’t people wonder where you are?”

“Probably.” Blake got up and headed to the window. “I’ll see you later then?”

“Yes. Do try to look suitably surprised when my sister introduces us.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> More Winter goodness – this time with added Blake! Yeah, I think it would be interesting if Winter has been working behind the scenes. Weiss doesn’t seem to be much good at subterfuge, but business does require a certain level of Machiavellianism. Who better than Winter to handle that side of things? And who better than Blake to be Winter’s eyes and ears in Beacon?
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	45. Shopping

**Shopping**

Weiss bit her lip and tried not to stare at the magazine on Ruby’s desk. It was such an innocuous-looking thing, at least at first glance. But Weiss had taken a closer look, and it wasn’t innocuous at all. It was a magazine that highlighted the latest, greatest, and sexiest in lingerie. 

Why would Ruby have that?

True, the two of them had been going out for a few weeks now, but surely they weren’t ready to take things that far, were they? Not that Weiss would mind – indeed Ruby was very much on her mind – but it was one thing to be girlfriends and quite another to go beyond some kissing and making out to… to…

She couldn’t even bring herself to finish that thought.

Weiss took a deep breath. There had to be a rational explanation for this. Maybe Ruby wasn’t shopping for lingerie. But if she wasn’t, why did she have the magazine, and why was it on her desk? Could Ruby be thinking about… about asking Weiss to wear some of those things for her?

Weiss gulped. Some of the lingerie in there had been… very risqué. And yet, she couldn’t help but imagine the situation: Ruby lounging on the bed, looking up at Weiss in awe as she sashayed over, the lingerie accentuating every slender, graceful curve of her body…

She shook her head. Bad Weiss. Bad Weiss. That couldn’t be it. There had to be some other explanation. But no matter how hard she tried, Weiss couldn’t come up with anything else. Either Ruby was looking for lingerie to wear, or she was looking for lingerie for Weiss to wear. Both options left Weiss feeling equal parts nervous and aroused.

Ruby would look great in lingerie, Weiss was sure of it. Ruby was taller than her now, and although she’d never have Yang’s buxom figure, she was most certainly not flat. It would be very, very nice to see Ruby in more revealing clothing, and Weiss would by lying if she said that she hadn’t imagined it a few – or maybe even a lot of – times.

Maybe she should just ask Ruby. Yes, that was it. But how could she bring it up without embarrassing her? There had to be a way…

Weiss was still deep in thought when Yang walked into their dorm room, went over to Ruby’s desk, and picked up the magazine.

“Hey!” Yang grinned. “So that’s where I left it. I’ve been looking for it all day. I know exactly what I’ll be wearing when I give Blake her birthday present.”

And then, just like that, Yang wandered out of the room, a spring in her step and the magazine in her hands.

Weiss gaped. Oh. Then she began to laugh. She’d been getting nervous over nothing. Then she realised what had happened. Yang was the one looking for lingerie… Yang with the wonderful figure that would look fantastic in that thing on page five…

Weiss’s lips twitched. Blake was one lucky woman.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> Weiss has quite the imagination. I wonder how long it’ll be before she gets to put it to good use.
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	46. Dinosaur Battle

**Dinosaur Battle** __

_The Weissosaurus Rex, most dreaded of all dinosaurs, stomped through the forest in search of prey. It was master of all it surveyed, a relentless killing machine of unmatched ferocity and crankiness. Its eyes gleamed with pure malevolence as it spotted a hapless herbivore to devour._

_Or so it seemed._

_The herbivore in question was actually a Yangceratops, one of the few dinosaurs capable of meeting a Weissosaurus Rex in battle and winning. With a mighty roar, the horned herbivore rounded on the carnivore and charged! The two dinosaurs met in an epic clash of teeth, claws, and horns, their struggle flattening trees and tearing up the ground as they exchanged bone-crushing blows._

_“Rargh!” screamed the Weissosaurus Rex._

_“Rargh!” bellowed the Yangceratops._

X     X     X

“Hmm…” Blake tilted her head to one side. “They don’t normally argue this much, Ruby. Did something happen?”

In front of them Weiss and Yang were engaged in what could politely be described as an argument. However, a more accurate description would have called it a shouting match that looked to be about one step away from becoming a fistfight. Blake would have interfered, but she’d learned the hard way that it was better to just let Weiss and Yang get it out of their systems. Neither of them was all that amenable to logic once they got angry.

“Well…” Ruby fidgeted nervously. “Yang kind of found out that Weiss and I are dating.”

“Ah.” Blake nodded sagely. “I see.” It wasn’t that Yang thought Weiss was a bad person, not anymore. It was more that Yang could be a little bit overprotective of Rub, and by overprotective, Blake meant that Yang could occasionally go completely psycho. Nobody – nobody – was good enough for her little sister. Yang had most likely started her ‘conversation’ with Weiss by threatening the heiress, and Weiss did not respond well to threats at all. “Should we do something?”

“No…” Ruby made a face. “They’ll probably just beat the crap out of each other a little and then call it quits.” She smiled sunnily at Blake. “You should be glad that I never did anything like that to you.”

“You didn’t have to threaten me, Ruby.” Blake glanced at Crescent Rose. “You carry around a giant scythe that’s also a sniper rifle.”

“I guess.” Ruby shrugged. “Plus, I trust Yang. If you ever hurt her, she’d probably just punch you in the face or something.”

X     X     X  
 _  
After a titanic struggle, the Weissosaurus Rex and the Yangceratops broke apart. The two great beasts circled each other warily. There was grudging respect in their eyes. Neither had escaped the battle unharmed, but neither was willing to relent. At last, after a long stare down, the two mighty dinosaurs turned and went their separate ways…  
_  
X     X     X

“So, are we all friends again? Ruby asked. Weiss and Yang had finally stopped yelling and waving their weapons at each other.

“Yeah.” Yang slapped Weiss over the back. “Now that I know that princess here is really serious about you, we’re all good.”

“Please.” Weiss sneered. “You should know me well enough by now that I don’t do things halfway. I’m dating Ruby because I love her, and I will gladly pummel you if that’s what it takes to prove it.”

“Oh?” Yang raised one eyebrow. “You think you can pummel me?”

“If I have to.”

“I’d like to see you try.”

THUNK.

Crescent Rose dug into the ground between Yang and Weiss. 

“Enough, guys,” Ruby said. “If you have to beat the crap out of each other, organise a sparring session or something.” She smiled. “And isn’t this great? Now that I’m with Weiss and Yang’s with Blake, we can go out on double dates!”

Blake imagined how well that would work out and spoke for everyone but Ruby, giving the world’s least enthusiastic fist pump. “Yay,” she drawled.

X     X     X

**Omake: A Guide To RWBY Dinosaurs**

**Weissosaurus Rex (Weiss + Tyrannosaurus Rex)**. This mighty creature was the one of the largest and most ferocious of all carnivorous dinosaurs. It was most well known for its irritability, its tendency to frown at other dinosaurs, and its long, pointy teeth. 

**Rubyonychus (Ruby + Deinonychus)**. This quick and cunning carnivore was arguably the most agile of all dinosaurs, and its superb speed allowed it to fight much larger dinosaurs, such as the dreaded Weissosaurus Rex. The Rubyonychus was also famous for its oversized and ridiculously sharp claws.

 **Blakeylosaurus (Blake + Ankylosaurus)**. This introverted and secretive dinosaur was renowned for its sturdy emotional armour. Unwilling to reveal too much about itself, it would often wander alone for long periods at a time. Only under remarkable circumstances would it join a herd or group, though its loyalty was unshakable once given.

 **Yangceratops (Yang + Triceratops**. Despite being a herbivore, the Yangceratops was actually more ferocious than most carnivores, charging into battle with reckless abandon and goring anything in its path with its mighty horns. Once angered, it would pursue its opponent with seemingly suicidal determination.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> Behold the Weissosaurus Rex in all of her terrible glory! But, seriously, it’s always nice to do something really silly like this. Hmm… what sort of dinosaurs would Team JNPR be?
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	47. Birthday Present

**Birthday Present**

“What do you want for your birthday, Ruby? Weiss asked.

Ruby shrugged. “I don’t know. I haven’t really thought about it much.”

“Really?” Weiss gave Ruby a teasing smile. “I know you. I bet you’ve been thinking about it for months now. Come on. Tell me. Whatever it is, I’ll get it for you.”

“No matter what?” Ruby’s lips curved up into a teasing smile of her own, and she batted her eyelashes at Weiss. “No matter how expensive or rare it is, you’ll get it for me, just like that?”

“Well, I’ll try.” Weiss had become the second-in-command of her family’s company less than a month ago. Even if she counted only her personal, private holdings in company stock, her salary, and her investments outside of her family’s company, she was, as Yang would put it, stupidly rich. “You’re not going to ask me to buy every bakery and strawberry farm in the world, are you? I’m not sure if even I could afford that.”

“No. And it’s not like I could eat all those baked goods and strawberries anyway.” Ruby nodded thoughtfully. “But what I want for my birthday is definitely rare. In fact, there’s only one of it in the entire world.”

Weiss made a face. “You’re starting to worry me now. What is it?”

“It’s something I’ve wanted for a long time now, actually. In fact, I’ve wanted it almost since we first started dating.” Ruby sighed wistfully. “I dream about it all the time, but I get nervous whenever I think about it too much.”

“Your description is not helping, Ruby.”

“But lately, I haven’t been able to get my mind off it at all. It’s the only thing I can think about.” Ruby grinned. “And then I decided that I should just go ahead and ask for it. There’s just one problem. I need your help to get it, Weiss.”

“I see. So… what is this mysterious thing?” Weiss frowned. “It’s not something for your scythe, is it? I know you love Crescent Rose, but there is such a thing as loving your weapon too much.”

“It’s not about Crescent Rose. In fact, I can honestly say that I’d be willing to give up Crescent Rose to get it.”

Weiss’s eyes widened. “Ruby,” she said quietly. “Stop playing around. You love Crescent Rose. What could possibly be such a big deal that you’d give up Crescent Rose for it…”

Ruby dropped down to one knee, and Weiss was suddenly unable to breathe as the other woman reached into her pocket and pulled out a small box. There was a white gold ring inside with a blue diamond the same colour as Weiss’s eyes in a rose-shaped setting.

“Weiss, will you marry me?”

“…”

Ruby blinked. That wasn’t quite the answer she’d expected. “Uh… Weiss?”

“…”

“Okay… now you’re starting to freak me out. Could you please say something?”

“…”

“Weiss…”

“YES!” 

Ruby yelped as Weiss tackled her to the ground.

“Yes, yes, yes!” Weiss could barely get the words out in between all the kisses she was lavishing on Ruby. “Of course, yes!”

Ruby didn’t bother to reply, content to kiss Weiss back. Finally, after what seemed like an inordinate amount of time on the ground kissing – not that Ruby actually minded – she managed to find her voice again.

“So… you said yes.”

“Of course, I did.” Weiss huffed and gave Ruby another one of those fond scowls of hers. “I… I’ve been thinking about asking you too, but you beat me to the punch.”

“Well, I am pretty fast.” Ruby snickered. She paused. “I know I said I’d be willing to give up Crescent Rose…”

Weiss gave Ruby a playful slap on the arm. “Don’t be silly. I’d never ask you to give up Crescent Rose. Besides, I know it was only a figure of speech.”

“It wasn’t only a figure of speech.” Ruby’s voice softened. “If you asked me to, I would.”

“Then it’s a good thing that I’d never ask you to.” Weiss smiled. “You really mean it, huh?” Ruby nodded. “You, Ruby Rose, are crazy and romantic, and I love you so, so much.” She buried her face in the crook of Ruby’s shoulder. “I’d never ask you to part with Crescent Rose. You can even bring it to the wedding. Just make sure to fold it up when you walk down the aisle.”

“I’ll remember to do that.” Ruby laughed. “Can I assume that you’ll have Myrtenaster at the wedding too?”

“Of course.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> Because we all know that Ruby is a romantic.
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	48. Pocky

**Pocky**

“Hey, Weiss, let’s share the last piece of pocky!”

Weiss shifted her gaze from her textbook to the piece of pocky in Ruby’s hand. The other girl gave her an impish smile and then put one end of the pocky into her mouth. Even without the twinkling eyes and waggling eyebrows, it was obvious what she wanted Weiss to do with the other end. Weiss’s lips twitched. She knew exactly what to do, and it certainly wasn’t what Ruby had in mind.

“If you insist.” And then Weiss reached over, snapped the stick of pocky in half, and then ate her portion. Ruby’s eyes widened in disbelief before she ate her half of the pocky, pouting like a child the entire time.

“Weiss…” Ruby whined. “You were supposed to – mmmph!”

Weiss deepened the kiss, cupping the back of Ruby’s head with one hand, before she finally pulled away. She licked her lips. “Honestly, Ruby, if you wanted me to kiss you, all you had to do was ask.” She smirked. “Besides, why would I want to kiss you while you’re eating pocky? You taste much better than pocky.”

X X X  
 **  
Omake: The Last Piece? Really?  
**  
Weiss raised one eyebrow. “Again?”

“I promise that this is really the last piece of pocky.” Ruby held up the now empty box of pocky. “See?” She put one end of the pocky into her mouth. “So, come on.”

Weiss leaned forward and pulled Ruby into another kiss. “Happy?” she asked.

Ruby nodded and then reached into her other pocket. “Oh, wait… I still have more pocky.” She lifted another stick of pocky to her lips. “So…”

“Idiot.” Weiss pushed Ruby back onto her bed and tossed the packet of pocky aside. “Instead of going through twenty pieces of pocky, all of which were apparently the last one, you should have just told me that you want to make out.”

“Well…” Ruby grinned. “This way I get pocky and you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> All hail pocky! But, seriously, this is another one of those chapters that I’ve been meaning to do for ages, and Ruby and Weiss is the perfect couple for it. Meanwhile, I bet Blake is wondering who has been stealing all of her pocky (I imagine she munches on some while reading a book).
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	49. Chauffeur

Chauffeur

Weiss slumped into the backseat of her car and closed her eyes. Another long day of arduous negotiations had come to an end. When she’d decided to reform the way her family’s company approached Faunus rights, she’d known she would be in for a fight. But she had never imagined it would be this hard. Even with her father’s backing, she had to fight tooth and nail for every single inch of reform.

If it wasn’t for Blake’s constant presence at the negotiations as a representative for the Faunus, she wasn’t sure how she’d have managed. It would all be worth it in the end, Weiss was sure of that much. And just seeing the look on Blake’s face after each hard-fought victory was enough to keep her going.

Blake might be only one Faunus, but she was one of Weiss’s dearest friends. They were part of the same team, so it was only right that they should fight this battle together as well. And speaking of their team, it had been more than a fortnight since she’d spent any real time with Ruby. Her girlfriend had been amazingly understanding. Ruby knew how much these reforms meant to both Weiss and Blake, so she had stepped out of the way while Weiss and Blake spent night after night poring over current regulations while trying to draft new ones.

Neither Ruby nor Yang had much talent when it came to legalese, so the two sisters had made themselves cheerleaders instead, making sure that there was always a good supply of coffee and food on hand, as well as ensuring that Blake and Weiss grabbed sleep and rest whenever they could.

But right now, Weiss was running on empty. She was going to go back to the apartment she shared with Ruby, wade through all the paperwork scattered everywhere, and collapse into bed. But first she had to get home, which seem to be taking far longer than it should. Weiss sat up and frowned, peering out the window. The car wasn’t taking the usual route to her apartment. Was her driver taking a different route due to traffic? Had there been an accident up ahead? She tensed and reached for her weapon. Had the White Fang decided to strike when they knew she was exhausted?

“Driver, stop the car,” Weiss growled. “Now.”

The driver, who was hidden behind a tinted screen, chuckled. “I don’t think so, Ms Schnee.”

There was something familiar about the voice, but Weiss was too tired to place it. She lifted her weapon. “If you don’t stop the car, I’ll stop it myself.”

“Woah!” the screen came down. “Relax, Weiss. Relax.” The driver stopped at a red light and then leaned back, so that Weiss could see their face. “It’s me.”

“Ruby?” Weiss’s eyes widened. “Why are you driving my car?”

“Well, your regular driver looked like he could use a break.” Ruby’s lips curved up into an impish smile. “And I thought you could use a little fun after a whole week of slugging things out in a boardroom.”

Weiss relaxed. Trust Ruby to pull something like this. “So where are we going? I presume we’re not going back to our apartment.”

“There’s no way that we’re going back there. I’m trying to help you relax. Bringing you back to all that paperwork is not going to help.” Ruby turned to face the road again as the traffic light turned green. “We’re going to a hotel.”

“Oh?” Weiss sat up a little. “And what will we be doing at this hotel?”

“I could tell you…” Ruby reached into her pocket and then tossed something at Weiss. “But I think that should tell you everything you need to know.”

Weiss blinked. She was now holding Ruby’s underwear. “What?”

“Those are what I should be wearing.”

“Oh… OH!” Weiss’s mind ground to a halt. Ruby was not wearing any underwear. Ruby was driving them to a hotel. There was only one thing to say to that. “Ruby…”

“Yes, my lady?”

“Hit the gas.”

“My pleasure.” Ruby snickered. “Well, it’ll be our pleasure.”

Weiss laughed. “You’re getting worse than Yang.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> Never doubt Ruby’s ability to kidnap Weiss when necessary.
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	50. Posture

**Posture**

“You really should stop slouching.”

Ruby gave Weiss another one of those teasing little smirks that had only grown more common over the years. Weiss blamed that entirely on Yang. The blonde had somehow managed to pass most of her habits onto Ruby. It was utterly infuriating.

“But slouching is fun. Maybe you should try it.”

“You want me to slouch? Not likely. I do not slouch.” Weiss favoured Ruby with her haughtiest, most superior look, and the other woman laughed. Once upon a time, Ruby would have been put off by that look. Not anymore. Weiss wasn’t half as intimidating as she thought she was, at least to Ruby.

“Weiss, do you have any idea how weird you look lazing about on our couch watching a movie and eating popcorn with perfect posture?” Ruby snickered. “Because you really do look weird.”

“I do not look weird.” Weiss frowned. “And there’s nothing wrong with good posture.”

“Most of the time, I’d agree with you, but you need to relax.” Ruby sat up and then reached over, putting one hand on Weiss’s shoulder and the other on the small of her back. With her typical disregard for propriety, Ruby manoeuvred Weiss into a rough approximation of a slouch. “There, how does that feel?”

“Unpleasant.” Weiss shuddered. “How can you sit like this?”

“Practice.” Ruby slipped into a matching slouch. “Although…” She suddenly straightened, her posture absolutely perfect. “I can also sit like this. See, this is how you look. You have to admit that it looks a little odd.”

Weiss’s frown deepened. She hated to admit it, but Ruby was right. It did look rather odd trying to lounge about on a couch while maintaining perfect posture. “You might be right. But it just feels so… strange to slouch.”

“That’s because you’ve always been told to maintain perfect posture.” Ruby dropped into a languid slouch and put her arms behind her head while letting her long legs dangle over the arm of the couch. “I call this the Yang Slouch. Now, I’m not saying you’ll ever be able to pull off something like this, but it is something to aim for.”

“You want me to aim for your sister’s slouch?” Weiss chuckled. “You certainly do have some lofty expectations of me.”

“Well, you could go for the Blake Slouch.” Ruby changed positions and somehow managed to slouch while maintaining an air of utter readiness. “It’s lazy while still allowing you to spring into action at any moment.” She made her hands into claws. “Rargh!”

Weiss burst out laughing. “Ruby, Blake does not do that.”

“She so does, and you know it.” Ruby poked Weiss with one of her ‘claws’. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but Blake is the master of being totally ready to go while appearing utterly nonchalant. It’s kind of her thing, just like how perfect posture is your thing.”

“You spend entirely too much time watching the rest of us, Ruby.” Weiss grabbed Ruby’s hands before she could poke her again. “And you haven’t even done your slouch yet.” Weiss lunged across the couch and latched onto Ruby. “This is you. I swear, I can’t sit down for more than five seconds without you grabbing me.”

Ruby’s lips twitched. “That’s only because you’re so cuddly.”

“I am not cuddly.”

“I beg to differ.” Ruby gave Weiss a cuddle. “I would rate you a solid 9.0 on the Ruby Cuddliness Scale.”

Weiss raised one eyebrow. “Only a 9.0”

Ruby nodded. “Yang gets a 9.5 because she doesn’t complain about it.”

“Ruby!” Weiss gave Ruby an affectionate swat on the arm. “Are you really saying that your sister is cuddlier than me?”

“Hey, the Ruby Cuddliness Scale is an important and impartial scientific measure. I can’t let personal bias come into it.” Ruby’s eyes twinkled. “And just for reference, Blake is a 9.3.”

“What? There is no way that Blake is cuddlier than I am!”

“Oh, she’s not,” Ruby replied. “But she doesn’t give me any attitude, hence the bonus points.”

“Whatever happened to it being an important and impartial scientific measure?”

“It is one, but it also has bonus points.”

“And being engaged to you doesn’t give me bonus points?” Weiss scowled. “Really?”

“Well, not on the Ruby Cuddliness Scale. But if we switch to the Ruby Snuggle Scale, then you’re a solid 10.0.”

“I see.” Weiss had to fight to keep from giggling. “A 10.0.”

“Yep, ten out of ten.” Ruby sighed dramatically and covered her face with her hands in what was almost certainly the worst attempt at fake crying in the history of the universe. “Alas, we never get to smuggle enough.” She peeked out from between her fingers. “Especially in the morning. There’s nothing like some good snuggling in the morning.

Weiss pursed her lips. “Ruby, why do I get the feeling that you’re using snuggling as a euphemism for something else?”

“Maybe because I am.”

“Ruby!” Weiss gave her another half-hearted whack on the arm. Then she paused. “Really, a ten out of ten?”

“I can’t imagine snuggling with anyone else but you – especially in the morning or all night long.”

“That is one of the most dementedly romantic things you’ve ever said to me, and you’ve said quite a few dementedly romantic things over the years.” Weiss rolled her eyes. “And for the record, I’d give you a ten out of ten as well.”

“In that case, perhaps we could do something other than watch a movie…” Ruby waggled her eyebrows. “Maybe… some… snuggling?”

Weiss’s lips curved up at the edges. “If you insist, but you’ll have to carry me to bed.”

“I can do that. I can definitely do that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> So, how do you rate the RWBY characters on the Ruby Cuddliness Scale? But, really, I do like writing these little snippets where Ruby and Weiss aren’t really doing much. There is a certain warmth involved in writing about people who are completely content just to be with each other. Oh, and snuggling as a euphemism for more adult activities is a nod at one of my favourite shows of all time, The Simpsons. Marge and Homer frequently use snuggling that way.
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	51. Moo

**Moo**

“Moo.” Yang paused. “Moo.”

The cow continued to stare back at her, utterly unimpressed.

“Um, Yang, I don’t think it’s working.” Ruby made a face. “In fact… I think you’re making the cow mad.”

The cow in question had begun to advance on them, head lowered as if to charge.

Ruby backed away. “Blake!” she cried. “Do something!”

“Why me?” The Faunus had maintained a steady distance between herself and the cow. “I’m a cat Faunus. What am I supposed to do to a cow?”

“I don’t know… something?”

Yang stepped between the angry bovine and her sister. No one, not even a cow, messed with her precious little sister.

“Stop right there – gah!” The cow rammed Yang, and she went flying.

“Yang!” Ruby thought about drawing her scythe and then stopped. They were supposed to milk the cow, not kill it. “Crap!”

“Watch and learn.” Weiss, who had so far kept clear of the growing disaster, strode toward the cow. She spoke in her most regal and commanding tone, “Now, listen here, cow –”

WHAM.

And there went Weiss, tumbling back, head over heels, courtesy of the enraged cow.

Ruby and Blake shared a look.

They ran.

They didn’t get far.

X X X

“It appears that you had some difficulty with the task.” Ozpin stared at Team RWBY. Their clothes were tattered, and they looked to have been thoroughly mangled. The Grimm would have been impressed. “Did you encounter Grimm at the farm? Perhaps a small army of them?”

“Uh… no.” Ruby winced. “We… uh… there was a cow… and… it… got kind of mad…” She paused. “Yeah.”

“I see.” Ozpin nodded sagely. “It appears that the rumours of a particularly vicious cow on that farm were true. I didn’t give them much credit myself but –”

“That cow is evil!” Weiss hissed. “Evil!”

“Yeah!” Yang slammed one hand down on Ozpin’s desk. “It knows we can’t hit back, so it spent most of its time kicking the crap out of us.”

“Is that so?” Ozpin nodded at Blake. “Do you have anything to add, Ms Belladonna?”

Blake nodded. “I think I speak for the rest of my team when I say we’d rather be assigned a Grimm-extermination mission next time.”

“Of course. I’ll see to it.” Ozpin gestured at the door. “You may go although perhaps a quick stop at the infirmary might be beneficial.”

Team RWBY left, grumbling the whole time, and Team JNPR entered.

“So, have you given any thought your next mission?” Ozpin asked Jaune.

The blond grinned. “Well, I was thinking of taking that farm mission. I mean how hard could it be to milk some cow?”

Ozpin had to fight to keep the smile off his face. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah, it’ll be easy.”

“As you wish.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY, and I am not making any money off of this.
> 
> Hah! I’m not dead. But, seriously, I’ve been busy with stuff, and I’ve spent most of my fan fiction writing time working on Final Rose, which is an AU I’ve been posting over on my Tumblr that combines Frozen, RWBY, Final Fantasy XIII, and a host of my other stories (e.g., Ordinary Heroes). The hook, as it were, is that Summer and Lightning were close friends during their years at the academy. That changes a lot.
> 
> But back to this chapter, never underestimate a cow. 
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	52. Ruby Rose, Lumberjack Extraordinaire

**Ruby Rose, Lumberjack Extraordinaire**

Ruby Rose the lumberjack was a cheerful, young woman who happened to enjoy hacking at things with her scythe a little more than was probably healthy or wise. It was a good thing for her, then, that she lived near forest, and there was always a need for good timber.

Scythe met tree. Ruby met profit.

Thus Ruby made a living as a lumberjack, and if she was a lot better at it than she expected, well, so much the better for her. After all, there was nothing quite like making a living doing something that she enjoyed. She even got to do a bit of fighting now and then since wolves, bears, and creatures of a more dangerous nature were never in short supply in the deep, dark woods.

And then one day, she met someone unexpected. Or rather, that person fell on her – after Ruby cut down the tree she was hiding in.

“Gah!” Ruby went down as someone tumbled onto her. “Ouch.” She got back to her feet and brandished her scythe, only to find herself looking into a pair of amber eyes. “Oh, hi.” Ruby paused and then tilted her head to one side at the young woman in front of her, a young woman with what appeared to be cat ears on her head. “Uh, you’re not a bandit, are you? Because if you are, I’d have to pummel you.”

The woman blinked and then shook her head to clear it. “No, I’m not a bandit.” She frowned and felt the top of her head, gasping when she felt the cat ears. “My ribbon!” She looked around and darted over to the ribbon that had fallen nearby. As she tied it back into place to cover her ears, her gaze went back to Ruby. “You’re not going to ask about the cat ears?”

Ruby shrugged. “I’ve seen stranger things in these woods. There are werewolves, vampires, those creepy, giant snake things and… you’re not evil, are you?”

“No.” The young woman with cat ears took a deep breath and extended her hand. “My name is Blake. I’m… a huntress of sorts. I was tracking something here yesterday when night fell. I decided to sleep in a tree because I thought it would be safer…”

“And then I cut the tree down.” Ruby blushed. “Oops.” She shook Blake’s hand. “Well, I’m Ruby. I’m kind of a lumberjack.”

“Kind of?”

“I sort of fight monsters and anything else bad that I happen to run into while I’m cutting down trees.” Ruby scratched the back of her head. “It makes things more interesting.”

“Hmm…” Blake frowned. “So, you know this forest well?”

“Like the back of my hand.”

“If you’re willing to guide me, I’d be happy to share some of the bounty with you.”

“Oh, cool.” Ruby grinned. “Sure. By the way… what are we hunting?”

Blake’s lips curled. “A runaway princess.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY, and I am not making any money off of this.
> 
> Heh. I bet you can guess who the runaway princess is.
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	53. Some Historical Misconceptions About Team RWBY

_Note: The adventures of Ruby the Lumberjack will continue in a later chapter._

X X X  
 **  
Some Historical Misconceptions About Team RWBY  
**  
In the centuries that followed the decisive victories over the Grimm that would eventually usher in an era of unrivalled peace and prosperity, the historical records surrounding Team RWBY have come under heavy scrutiny. There can be little doubt that Team RWBY played a pivotal role in bringing about the modern era, yet surprisingly little is known about these legendary women. 

Unbeknownst to modern historians, quite a few mistakes have been made due to misinterpretations, mistranslations, and misconceptions about Team RWBY. Here are a few of them.

 **Modern historians believe that Ruby was a warlord**. Given the legendary stature of the other members of Team RWBY, Ruby being akin to a feudal warlord is the only explanation historians could come up with to explain how she got the team to follow her. Her weapon of choice did not help matters either, and some historians believe that the present-day conception of the Grim Reaper as a scythe wielding spirit in a voluminous cloak can be traced directly back to Ruby’s proficiency on the battle field. 

Although a few ancient texts have argued that Ruby was, in fact, a cheerful, cookie-loving, young woman, they have been dismissed as obvious fabrications or forgeries. Ruby Rose could not have been anything less than a ruthless killing machine of unparalleled deadliness, one who wore a cloak stained red by the blood of her slaughtered enemies.

 **Modern historians are certain that Blake was actually the name of a highly organised group, as opposed to a single individual** l. This belief is supported by the many references in ancient texts to Blake being in more than one place at the same time and of several Blakes engaging in combat simultaneously. Given the extremely close physical resemblance that each of these Blakes was supposed to have had with the other, some scholars now believe that Blake was actually a codename for a highly advanced, top-secret cloning program.

 **Modern historians think that Weiss was a tyrant who ruled over broad swathes of territory and struck fear into the hearts of her enemies**. In the handful of personal accounts that have survived from Team RWBY’s early days, the other members of the team repeatedly refer to Weiss as “tyrannical” with Yang even calling her “evil”. Ruby, herself a notorious warlord, often complained about Weiss’s ruthless and merciless approach to studying. What exactly they could have been studying, modern scholars cannot be certain of. However, some believe that studying may simply have been a code word or euphemism, mostly like for torture or warfare. Some researchers have even suggested that Weiss’s marriage to Ruby was for strictly political reasons, a way of bringing together two powerful warlords. 

**Modern historians know that Yang was a psychopath who slaughtered entire armies singlehandedly**. Virtually every account that has survived from the relevant historical period has spoken of Yang repeatedly wading into battles, heedless of the danger. The accounts also speak of bodies flying in all directions, along with fire and bright lights. Modern historians have no choice but to conclude that Yang served as her sister’s enforcer, slaughtering Ruby’s enemies en masse and leaving nought but destruction in her wake. She may also have been involved in polygamy, if the reports of her being involved with the Blake organisation are indeed accurate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY, and I am not making any money off of this.
> 
> Ah, if only Team RWBY could see what the future thought of them… I’ve also had some people express concern that I might be running out of chapters. As a matter of fact, I have a backlog of roughly three months worth of chapters (we’re talking more than a dozen chapters… maybe even two dozen… I’m not sure). So, yeah, there’s plenty more left in the tank.
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	54. What Modern Historians Think Happened To Team RWBY #1

_Note: This chapter is related to ‘Some Historical Misconceptions About Team RWBY’._

X X X  
 **  
What Modern Historians Think Happened To Team RWBY #1**

 **What Modern Historians Think Happened  
**  
Weiss could only hide her fury behind a cold mask of bitter disdain as Ruby strode through the carnage and wreckage that had once been Weiss’s army. The tyrant had refused to accept Ruby as her leader, and Ruby had responded in exactly the manner Weiss had known she would. 

The battle between their forces had lasted for months and had left the countryside around Vale utterly devastated. Tens of thousands had fallen on either side. Cities had been burnt to the ground. Rivers had run red with blood. Fields had been buried under the bodies of the slain.

What a mess.

But Weiss had miscalculated – and she had lost. Ruby was not only a tactical genius but she was also an absolute demon on the battlefield. Her scythe had become an object of utmost terror amongst Weiss’s forces, and even now, her personal guard couldn’t help but cringe away from it. Her lips curled. She’d always thought that Ruby’s weapon was ridiculous, better suited toward intimidation than actual fighting. She knew better now.

“You’ve lost, Weiss.” Ruby stopped in front of her. Her scythe thudded in the ground. “Swear your loyalty to me and live. Rebel and die. Those are your two choices.” Ruby’s silver eyes gleamed with pure malevolence. “Or better yet, marry me. Together, we could conquer the world.”

Weiss’s jaw clenched. “Fine. I’ll marry you. But don’t expect me to like it.”

Ruby threw her head back and laughed. “I’m not asking you to like it. I’m ordering you to do it.”

X X X  
 **  
What Actually Happened  
**  
“Can we please, please, please go to that new bakery, Weiss?” Ruby begged as she grabbed onto Weiss’s sleeve.

“No, Ruby. We’re supposed to be studying.”

“Please.”

“No.”

“Please.”

“No.”

“Please… please… please!”

“Fine!” Weiss growled. “If you’ll just stop asking, then we can go. Okay?”

“Yay!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY, and I am not making any money off of this.
> 
> Ruby the warlord needs to propose in a more romantic manner. Meanwhile, actual Ruby is busy enjoying some cookies.
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	55. Future Sight

**Future Sight**

“Wow. This takes me back.”

When the ancient ruins had collapsed, Weiss had fully expected to meet a fairly grisly end courtesy of some enormously heavy masonry. Her only regret, other than the whole getting crushed to death thing, was that her team would die with her. At least, that’s what she had thought.

Silver eyes that were both very familiar yet somehow different shimmered with amusement, and it took Weiss a few seconds to realise that instead of being crushed under thousands of tonnes of stone, she and the rest of her team were outside the temple, along with four other people. The weirdest part was that the person holding her looked very much like Ruby, even down to the silver eyes, dark hair, and red cloak. But Ruby wasn’t taller than her, and she certainly wasn’t as well developed as this person was…

Concern filled those silver eyes. “So, are you okay, Weiss?”

How did this person know her name? “Uh… who are you?”

The older woman, who looked to be in her mid-twenties, threw her head back and laughed. “Oh, man, this is so awkward.” She tossed a glance out to the side. “It might be easier to understand if you looked over there.”

Weiss nodded as the woman put her down. She tried to walk, but she tripped right over a root sticking out of the ground. In an instant, the silver-eyed woman was there to steady her.

“Easy there.” The woman smiled. “So, what do you see?”

What Weiss saw made absolutely no sense. Ruby was currently gaping at a woman who Weiss could have sworn looked just like her but older while Yang had been throw over the shoulder of a Faunus who might as well have been Blake’s older sister. And speaking of Blake, the Faunus was still being held protectively in the arms of a busty blonde.

“This doesn’t make any sense…”

The silver-eyed woman grinned. “Actually, it does. It turns out that the ancients tried to do some very weird things with Dust. Time travel was one of them… only they didn’t quite get it right.”

“You mean…” Weiss took a slow step back. “You’re…”

The woman bowed with extravagant flourish and then reached over to take Weiss’s hand. She pressed her lips to Weiss’s knuckles. “Ruby Rose-Schnee at your service.”

And that was when Weiss fainted.

X X X

“What did you do?” Future Weiss growled as she turned her attention from a younger Ruby who was even more adorable than she remembered. “Ruby?”

Future Ruby winced. “Uh… nothing….” Weiss glared. She glared really hard. “Uh… maybe… something.” Weiss’s glare took on the intensity of a laser. “I might have accidentally told her that we’re married in the future.”

Yang, Ruby, and Blake all turned to stare.

“Ruby,” Future Weiss said. “Please, stop talking.” She glanced at Future Yang. “And can you please put Blake down? You’re practically groping her.”

Future Yang snickered. “Hey, I am not groping her. Besides, we’re married in the future…”

Future Weiss threw her hands up in despair. “Everyone, stop talking! Now! Haven’t you considered the damage we could do since we’re stuck in the past for now?”

Future Blake shrugged. “You do have a point, but if we’re stuck here, we’re going to have to get into contact with Beacon.” She sighed. “Ruby, grab Weiss. Can you teleport all of us to Beacon, or are we going to have to go the long way?”

Future Ruby lifted Weiss into her arms. “I can’t get us all the way there in one go, but I should be able to do it if we make more than one jump.” She pursed her lips. “At this distance… two jumps should be doable.” She noticed the younger version of herself staring at her and smiled. “Relax, kiddo. Weiss is fine.”

Ruby nodded slowly and then cried out, “Wait! I can teleport in the future?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY, and I am not making any money off of this.
> 
> Ah, Future Team RWBY would be so cool. Anyway, I’ve got a bit of an announcement to make. I’ll be heading overseas for the next month or so, which means that updates may get a bit sporadic since I don’t know how much internet access I’ll have. I just thought I’d let you know. If you are looking for something else fun and humorous to read, you could always try my original fiction (you can find out more in my profile). I go by L. G. Estrella on Amazon.
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	56. Poser

**Poser**

“You really suck at this – like, you know, worse than a vacuum cleaner.”

Weiss glared. “I do not suck at anything.”

“Yes, you do.” Yang smirked. “And this, Weiss, is one of the many things you suck at.” She paused and then started to make vacuum cleaner sounds. “Sucker.”

“I will kill you.”

“And that would be another one of the things you suck at. That’s what, the fiftieth time you’ve threatened to kill me? But I’m still here, as awesome as ever.”

“Actually,” Blake said, pulling out a notebook. “I’ve been keeping count. That was the fifty-seventh time that she’s threatened to kill you.”

“Yay! I’m popular!” Yang ducked under Weiss’s clumsily thrown punch. “Cam down, princess. We’re not completely heartless. We’ll let you practice some more before we try again.”

“I don’t even understand why we have to practice this.” Weiss grit her teeth. “What good is posing going to do us?”

“Clearly, you don’t understand how this being a huntress thing works. Basically, we’re huntresses, which means that we have to be awesome. Kicking Grimm ass is cool and all, but posing afterward – or even in the middle – adds that little bit extra that turns cool into awesome.” Yang went through a few punches and kicks before striking an epic pose, one hand raised to beckon more imaginary enemies forward as her eyes blazed and her hair shifted in a breeze that seemed to come from nowhere. “See that? That’s awesome.”

Weiss had to admit that what Yang had done did look pretty cool. “Well, so what if you can pose? What about the others?”

Blake shrugged and did a few flips and somersaults before landing in a crouch, Gambol Shroud’s blade held out in front of her, its sheath at her side, seemingly ready to spring at the slightest notice. It was, Weiss thought, quite an awesome pose, especially when she factored in the look of utter focus and determination in Blake’s eyes.

“So, Blake can pose too. That doesn’t mean that Ruby –”

Ruby grinned, and then Crescent Rose was a blur of deadly motion, the air around Ruby suddenly filled with gleaming metal before the scythe came to a sudden stop, held out to one side, so that its blade would catch the afternoon sun, Ruby’s cloak billowing majestically around her as rose petals filled the air.

“…” Weiss gaped.

“Hey, it’s okay.” Yang patted Weiss on the back. “The first step to coming up with a good pose is admitting that your current pose sucks. With the three of us to help you, you’ll have a great pose in no time. And, hey, not everyone has an awesome uncle that taught them how to pose properly.”

X X X

Ozpin and Glynda were walking past one of the training grounds when they came upon a most unusual sight: Team RWBY appeared to be engaging in… a posing battle.

“What are they doing?” Glynda winced as Weiss spun around in a circle, almost stabbing one of her teammates with her weapon before falling into an awkward heap.

“I do believe that it is a posing battle.” Ozpin smiled. “Don’t you remember? We used to do that too.”

“We most certainly did not!”

Ozpin struck a pose, somehow managing to look beyond epic with nothing more than a mug in his hands. “You’re only saying that because you never beat me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY, and I am not making any money off of this.
> 
> I have returned! So, yeah, I made it back from overseas in one piece. Anyway, I was going to post something more serious, but after the way things have gone in RWBY lately, I thought I’d stick with the fluff and humour. Besides, who hasn’t tried to come up with their own victory pose? 
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	57. Bandages

**Bandages**

“You idiot.” Weiss sighed. “Come on, sit up. We need to change your bandages.”

Ruby tried not to blush. “Um… Weiss, my bandages are kind of, you know, around my, uh, stomach and… uh… chest.”

“Ruby, I was there when they put those bandages on you. I know exactly where they are.” The heiress scowled, her mouth firmed into a thin line of displeasure. “And if you think for one second that I’m going to let someone else change those bandages, then you have another thing coming. You got hurt protecting me, so I’m going to look after you while you recover. Understand?” Her voice brooked no disobedience.

“Yes, ma’am.” Ruby tried to give Weiss a jaunty salute and immediately regretted it. “Ouch. I probably shouldn’t have done that.”

“No, you shouldn’t have.” Weiss rolled her eyes. Honestly, Ruby could be such a dolt. But she was her dolt. “Now, come on. The sooner we get your bandages changed, the sooner you can go back to resting.”

“I guess.” Ruby stilled as Weiss began to unwind the bandages around her stomach and chest. To try to take her mind off the fact that Weiss, of all people, was going to be bandaging her back up, she asked the question that had been on her mind ever since they’d gotten back from their mission. “Are you still mad at me?”

Weiss finished unwinding the bandages and frowned. Ruby’s wounds were healing well, and she’d been told that there wouldn’t be any scarring, but, even so, the sight of wounds on Ruby made her blood boil. It was enough that she barely felt any nervousness at all, despite the fact that Ruby’s upper body was pretty much naked.

“Weiss?” Ruby gulped. “Weiss?”

“I’m not mad at you.” Weiss took the ointment they’d been given and applied it as quickly as she could without rushing. There was no need to make this any more embarrassing than it already was, and having to reapply the ointment because she’d rushed would only make things worse. True, she wouldn’t have minded seeing more of Ruby, but not like this – never like this. “I guess… I’m madder at myself. I should have seen that Grimm coming, Ruby. You should never have had to take that hit for me.”

“You’re my partner, Weiss. Looking after you is what I do. Besides, I’m better built to take a hit than you are.” Ruby grinned. In the two years since she’d joined Beacon, she’d grown taller than Weiss although she wasn’t as sturdily built as Yang and probably never would be.

“I’m not sure that I agree, Ruby. Yang can certainly take a hit better than both of us, but how often do you even get hit?” Weiss grimaced and began to put on some new bandages. She was impressed by how steady her hands were, even when Ruby fidgeted and took a deep breath. Still, she couldn’t stop her cheeks going a light shade of pink. “Outside of sparring, when I know you don’t always take things seriously, I’m not sure I’ve seen anyone, never mind a Grimm, land a solid hit on you in months.”

“Well, I am pretty fast.” Ruby shrugged. A shiver ran through her as Weiss’s fingers ghosted along her side. That had nothing to do with her injuries and everything to do with the fact that it was Weiss touching her. “But I still don’t get why you’re mad at yourself. Everyone makes mistakes sometimes. Nobody is perfect.”

Weiss froze. “Ruby, I screwed up. You got hurt because of me. Another few inches, and that Grimm could very easily have hit something vital. You could have been seriously injured. You could have died. And if something had happened to you, it would have been my fault. Can you really not understand why I’m mad at myself?”

“Weiss, could you please stop doing that?” Ruby made a face. “I don’t like it when you do that.”

“Do what?”

“That thing.” Ruby pointed at Weiss’s face. “You get this closed off look, like you’re a million miles away and shutting yourself off from the rest of the world. You used to have that look on your face a lot when we first met, and I don’t like it. Sure, you messed up. But we’ve all messed up. Heck, I don’t think it’s possible to get through a mission without making at least a few mistakes. The important thing is what you do after you screw up.”

“Not all mistakes are the same.” An image of blood on snow and a tattered red cloak flashed through Weiss’s mind. She shook her head. No. That would never happen.

“Stop beating yourself up already.” Ruby made an exasperated sound. “I already said that I forgive you, not that there’s anything to forgive. Besides, how many times have you covered for me when I made a mistake? Plenty of times, I’m sure. We’re a team, Weiss, and we’re huntresses. This sort of thing is going to happen every now and then.”

“That doesn’t mean that I have to like it.” Weiss went back to applying the bandages. They were treading on dangerous ground now, skirting the edges of thoughts and feelings that they’d never discussed properly.

“Is it because it was me?” Ruby asked. “Yang and Blake have taken hits for you too, but I’ve never seen you take it this badly before.”

“Yang is Yang, Ruby. Hitting her just pisses her off, and it leads to whoever hit her getting the absolute crap beaten out of them. And Blake – we both know that Blake has taken her fair share of injuries over the years.” Weiss bit her lip. Finding out about what the White Fang had asked Blake to do over the years had been shocking. It was nothing less than a miracle that Blake had made it through her childhood sane and in good health. “You’re different.” There, she’d said it.

“Well, you’re different for me too,” Ruby replied. “So, please, don’t get angry at yourself over this. I don’t mind getting hurt if it’s to keep you safe, Weiss. Okay?”

Weiss caught and held Ruby’s gaze. She looked away. There was no winning when Ruby was like this. “Fine. Just don’t make a habit of it.”

Ruby’s lips twitched. “Okay.” She smiled. “But do you think you could hurry up with those bandages. I’m feeling a little bit exposed here, and it’s starting to get cold.”

Weiss blushed and went back to working on the bandages. She gave Ruby an affectionate bonk on the head. “Idiot.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY, and I am not making any money off of this.
> 
> Over on my tumblr (razieltwelve), I open the floor, from time to time, for prompts and suggestions. This snippet is based on the following prompt: Ruby injured, Weiss fusses over her. But, yeah, it’s basically the obligatory injured Ruby snippet, which, somehow, I don’t think I’ve done. Go worried and fussy Weiss!
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	58. Like Father Like Daughter

_Note: Because Winter x Blake x Yang is such an amusing thought.  
_  
X X X  
 **  
Like Father Like Daughter  
**  
“You’re in a relationship.” Taiyang gaped and pointed at Winter and Blake. The Schnee simply smirked while Blake gave the blond a look of vague disinterest before turning her attention back to her book. “With them? Both of them?”

Yang shrugged. “Well, yeah.”

“Seriously?”

“Seriously.”

“Seriously?”

Seriously.”

“Seriously –”

“Dad, get over it.” Yang folded her arms over her chest. “We’ve been through this about twenty times now. Yes, I am in a relationship with Winter and Blake. Yes, I am happy about it. And, no, you are not hallucinating, dreaming, or drunk. This is reality, dad.”

“Well, damn.” Taiyang sighed. “You do realise that being in a relationship with two women is, well, not exactly commonplace.”

Winter and Blake both coughed, and Yang made a face.

“Dad, that’s kind of funny coming from you.”

“Huh?”

“I’ve talked to Uncle Qrow, dad.” Yang’s lips curled. “Apparently, you were totally in a relationship with Ruby’s mom and my mom at the same time.”

Taiyang bit back a curse. Damn it, Qrow, he thought. That was supposed to be a secret. “That was different…”

“How?” Yang glared.

“Uh…” Taiyang sighed. “Because it was me and not my little girl.” His expression grew serious. “And you should know how that worked out, Yang. I don’t want that to happen to you too.”

Yang sighed. She could understand where her dad was coming from. “I know, dad. But it won’t necessarily turn out that way. But even if it does, isn’t it my choice to take the risk?”

Taiyang smiled. “I guess it is. Besides, I wouldn’t expect anything less from my daughter.” He puffed his chest out. “And it’s not like it’s all bad. I mean Blake and Winter are hot –”

“Dad!” Yang wailed. “Don’t say that!”

“What?” Taiyang smirked, already backing away as Yang advanced, fists clenched. “It’s true, right? And I’m betting they like each other too, don’t they? Summer and Raven definitely did.”

“What?” Yang screeched. “Uncle Qrow didn’t say anything about that…”

“Yep.” Taiyang’s smirk widened. “It wasn’t a love triangle, so much as it was three people who all loved each other.” He sighed wistfully. “Ah, the things we did…”

“Dad!” Yang covered her ears. “Please, just stop talking.”

“Nope.” Taiyang had the upper hand now, and he had no intention of taking it easy on his daughter. “There was this thing where –”

“Not listening.” Yang shook her head from side to side and covered her ears. “Not listening. Not listening.”

As Taiyang proceeded to try to pry Yang’s hands away from her ears, Winter could only shake her head at the two Xiao Longs.

“Idiocy must be genetic,” Winter murmured.

Blake looked up from her book. “No, I think it’s just those two.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY, and I am not making any money off of this.
> 
> I get quite a few requests over on my Tumblr (razieltwelve). A lot of them, recently, have been for more Winter x Blake x Yang and Summer x Raven. Stuff like this is the result. Plus, it’s nice to have something light hearted given what’s been happening on the show recently.
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	59. Velvet Comes In Handy

**Velvet Comes In Handy**

Times could get tough on a mission. In the wilderness, cut off from civilisation and surrounded by Grimm, all sorts of terrible things could happen. Nothing, of course, was worse than forgetting to bring a can opener to open all your cans of food.

“Damn it.” Yang glared at her can of food. Sure, it was crappy food, but it was still food – her food. “Does anybody have a can opener?”

“I thought you had it.” Weiss made a face. “Please tell me that you have it. If we have to go hungry on this mission…”

“We could open the cans with our weapons.” Ruby raised Crescent Rose. “Just hold your can out, Yang, and I’ll cut it open.”

“How about we don’t do that.” Blake shuddered. Considering the fact that Yang was still holding the can, having Ruby swing her scythe at it was a recipe for disaster. Yang might even lose an arm.

“Do you guys need a can opener?” Velvet asked. She and the rest of Team CFVY had been assigned to help Team RWBY during their mission.

“Do you have one?” Yang grinned. “Because that would really come in handy.”

Velvet smirked. “Oh, I’ve got one.” She flicked her wrist, and a ghostly can opener seemingly made out of light appeared. “There you go.”

“Huh…” Yang tilted her head to one side. “That is pretty cool. What else can you make?”

“Pretty much anything.” Velvet cycled through a scythe, a sword, and what appeared to be a pizza cutter before handing Yang the can opener. “It’s convenient.”

“Do you mind if we keep this for a bit?” Yang nodded at the others. “I’m guessing they want to use it too. I’ll give it back to you later.”

“Don’t worry about it. It’ll dispel when you’re done using it. Besides, I’m always happy to lend you a hand.” Velvet shrugged. “I better go back to my team. Coco was supposed to pack our can opener, but she always uses me as a can opener instead.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY, and I am not making any money off of this.
> 
> Is it too soon for arm jokes? And please tell me that I’m not the only person who saw Velvet and imagined her as Archer (Fate/Stay Night)? Anyway, I was going to post something else originally (hurray for the five month backlog of snippets), but I just couldn’t resist.
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	60. Enforcer #1

**Enforcer #1**

“Please, I swear I won’t do it again. I promise! Just let me go and –”

Yang put a bullet in the back of the man’s head and then kicked his body off the pier and into the harbour. What a damn mess. But, hey, that was why she got paid the big bucks. She could clean up any mess. No muss. No fuss. He should have known better too. Actions had consequences.

The police would probably fish the poor bastard out of the water in a day or two, but that was fine. Winter didn’t want him to disappear completely. No, she wanted his friends to worry for a couple of days before they were invited down to the morgue by the police to find out exactly what happened to people who crossed the Schnees.

In a way, he’d gotten off lucky. All he’d done was try to muscle in on Schnee turf at the docks. If he’d done something really stupid, like going after Weiss, then Winter wouldn’t have settled for having him killed. She’d have killed him, his friends, and his whole damn family. Hell, Winter would have paid to have his dog killed too. Winter and Weiss might not always seen eye to eye, but they were sisters, and family was family. The only one who ever – ever – got to hurt Weiss was Winter. 

Yang headed backed to her car and then frowned. Of course, there was someone sitting on the hood of her car although sitting wasn’t quite the word she was looking for. Lounging on the hood of her car would have been a better description.

“Do you mind telling me why you’re here, Blake? It better not be on business.”

The Faunus just smiled, and Yang tensed ever so slightly. There was something very wrong with Blake, something that had gotten hurt inside her when she was only a kid that had never healed quite right. She’d seen it in other kids who’d grown up on the streets and clawed their way out, and she knew that Faunus kids had it even tougher. Street kids only ever got the worst jobs, and Faunus street kids got the worst out of those.

But Blake had made it, somehow. She was a killer for hire, and one of the best too. Most people never even knew she was after them, and Blake was so good at setting things up that nothing could ever be traced back to her or her employers. It was one of the things Winter loved about her. It didn’t take a genius to put a bullet in someone’s head, but give Blake two weeks, and she’d have the target putting a bullet in their own damn head.

And Yang would have been lying if she’d said there wasn’t a part of her that found that really damn hot, even if it made her nervous as hell. It didn’t hurt that Blake was all sleek curves and smooth, tightly coiled deadliness. Those were a predator’s eyes staring at her now, and Yang wanted to know what it was like to be hunted.

“You can stop worrying, Yang. I’m not here for you.” Blake gave a throaty chuckle. “Winter and Weiss both like useful things, and you’ve proven to be very useful. Besides, Ruby would be… displeased if anything happened to you.”

Yang’s lips twitched. Once upon a time, people had found Ruby funny. She could understand why. A girl who liked cookies and strawberries? Hilarious. A girl who could put a bullet through the head of a passenger in a limousine going a hundred miles an hour on the freeway on a windy from more than a mile out? Yeah, that wasn’t so funny anymore. Throw in Ruby’s predilection for big, sharp pieces of metal, and it was no wonder that pretty much everyone was afraid of her.

The most popular theory amongst the rank and file members of the Schnee family was that Ruby was completely nuts. They weren’t quite right, but Yang couldn’t say they were totally wrong either. 

“So, why are you here?” Yang unlocked her car and slid into the driver’s seat. Blake took the passenger’s seat, amber eyes gleaming in the twilight of the car’s interior.

“Winter appreciates you taking care of that mess.” Blake glanced meaningfully at the pier. “And she knows how much you like clubs.”

“I do, yeah.”

“Well, Weiss will be performing at a brand new club today.” Blake reached into her coat – Yang caught a flash of firm, toned leg – and handed Yang an elaborately crafted invitation. “It’s your lucky day. You’ve been invited.”

“Yay, I guess.” Yang grinned. Knowing Weiss, the club – and her performance – would be absolutely stunning. The younger Schnee refused to accept anything less than the absolute best. “Can I assume that I’ll have some work to do while I’m there?”

“Nothing you haven’t done before. Weiss will be meeting with some… potential business partners.” Blake all but purred the last few words out, and Yang’s gut clenched. Damn, Blake’s voice was made for moments like this. “With Ruby out on another… trip, Winter felt that it would be best if her sister had someone else familiar close by, someone reliable, someone who would never be stupid enough to pick the wrong side.”

“I see.” Yang frowned. Winter was probably worried about the negotiations turning into a bloodbath if she wanted Yang there, not that Weiss couldn’t handle herself. Yang had once seen Weiss kill half a dozen men in as many seconds with that rapier of hers. Weiss’s expression hadn’t changed at all until she’d notice the speck of blood on her dress. Then she’d snarled and demanded a change of clothes, not because the blood bothered her but because she couldn’t stand to look at what she saw as evidence of her own imperfection. “And where will you be during all of this?”

“Oh, I’ll be there.” Blake’s smile was distinctly predatory. “If something should go awry, your orders will be to see to Weiss’s safety. My orders will be to kill everything and everyone that so much as looks at Weiss funny. If something goes wrong, Winter wants blood and body bags.”

“Of course, she does.” Yang started the car and pulled away from the kerb. She glanced at the invitation. It was for tonight. “You do realise that this is really short notice. I don’t have anything to wear.”

“Just go to the club. Winter has already arranged something suitable for you to wear.” 

“Do I even want to know how she knows my measurements?” Yang asked.

Blake’s gaze was hot and heavy as it roamed over Yang’s body. “Winter likes beautiful things, Yang. So do I, for that matter. We’ve had our eyes on you for some time, Weiss too, actually.”

“Great.” Yang winced. “Don’t tell Ruby. She really hates to share – as in the last time someone flirted too much with Weiss they ended up in a body bag.”

Blake laughed. “Oh, Yang, Ruby wouldn’t mind sharing too much if it was with you.” Her lips curled. “And that poor fellow didn’t end up in a body bag. There were too many pieces for that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY, and I am not making any money off of this.
> 
> I can’t help but feel that if you turned the entire cast of RWBY into psychotic criminals, Yang would somehow end up being the sanest of the bunch. Oh well, it was about time I threw in a crime AU. 
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	61. Things Team RWBY Will Never Speak Of: Ruby

**Things Team RWBY Will Never Speak Of: Ruby**

Once upon a time, there was a young woman named Ruby. She was an incredible huntress, perhaps the greatest of her era. She would become a legend, and songs and stories would be written of her deeds. She was also the fastest huntress in history by so much it wasn’t even funny. Unfortunately for Ruby, she was not very good at holding her liquor.

One night, she got very, very drunk.

Getting really, really drunk with a Semblance based on speed was not a good idea. In fact, it was the opposite. And it was on that night that Ruby got to know a certain wall on the way home very well. That is to say, she knocked herself unconscious after running into it at full speed. At least her sister was around to carry her home.

Needless to say, Ruby’s fellow huntsmen and huntresses were aghast when Ruby turned up at an important meeting the next day looking like she’d run face first into a wall (which, as a matter of fact, she had). They immediately assumed that Ruby, being the legendarily awesome huntress that she was, must have run into some kind of freakish super Grimm on a mission, a killing machine of unfathomable and unrivalled destructive power. Surely only a Grimm like that, or maybe ten such beasts, could have landed such a solid blow on Ruby Rose, the greatest huntress of her generation, perhaps of any generation.

To this day, Ruby has refused to answer questions about what happened, choosing to simply stare off into the distance, no doubt reflecting on the horrors of the terrible foe she faced on that darkest of days. Her teammates have likewise refused to speak of it, no doubt in accordance with their leader’s wishes.

Ruby’s fellow huntsmen and huntresses have assumed a simple reason for Ruby’s refusal to talk about her injuries: the Grimm she encountered was so horrible, so powerful, so deadly that merely telling other people about it would cause them to die out of sheer, mind-numbing terror. Ruby’s refusal to speak of her opponent was simply another sign of her greatness as she chose to bear the burden of its existence alone.

Strangely enough, Ruby has never gotten drunk since. In fact, keen-eyed observers have noted that she only ever drinks cola when she and Team RWBY hit the town.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY, and I am not making any money off of this.
> 
> Once you’re as awesome as Ruby will be, everyone just assumes you have an awesome reason for everything you do. Yeah. And it’s not like Ruby is about to tell them what really happened. Now, I wonder what might be going on for the others.
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	62. Napkin

**Napkin**

Weiss was not used to see her sister distracted, but that was the only way to describe her older sibling, who was currently scribbling away on her napkin instead of examining the menu.

“Do you not like this restaurant?” Weiss waved one hand in front of her sister’s face. “Because we can always go somewhere else.”

Winter’s gaze snapped up, and she hastily tucked the napkin away. Odd. Weiss would have to try to get a closer look at it later. Perhaps it was related to her sister’s work for Atlas. “This restaurant is fine.”

“I should hope so. We’re certainly going to pay enough for a meal here.” Weiss eyed the menu and winced. Her years at Beacon had given her a better appreciation for what money meant. Ruby would have had a heart attack if she knew how much dessert cost here. “How are things going on your end?”

“Oh, you know, things always take longer than expected.” Winter signalled to the waiter and ordered some wine. As usual, her choice was impeccable. It was something that both of them enjoyed although Winter like it more than Weiss. Naturally, however, Weiss was the one footing the bill. “The maintenance staff had a lot of troubleshooting to do. It wasn’t anything they couldn’t handle, and they were able to fix the problem.”

“I trust there were no further accidents.” Weiss took a sip of her wine. They were speaking in code, of course. They had learned that often the best way to discuss private matters was in public, albeit in code. Blake had recently been forced to do more undercover work in a bid to locate key White Fang targets. Apparently, she’d managed to find all of them, and they’d been taken into custody without further problems. Excellent. “So, how is your garden? Will you be working on it soon?”

Winter smiled. “No, I don’t think so. I’ll let someone else take care of it.”

Weiss relaxed. Winter didn’t need Ruby’s assistance in any of the upcoming missions she had planned. Good. “What are you planning to do with your motorcycle? It’s been a while since you’ve taken it for a spin.”

“That motorcycle has a knack for catching fire.” Winter gestured for the waiter again, and they ordered their meals. “But I do have a few things planned. There’s nothing quite like riding a motorcycle at full speed along the coast. The view is magnificent.”

Weiss pursed her lips. Winter was planning on sending Yang on a few raids on the coastal White Fang facilities they’d uncovered. That made sense. Yang might not be particularly suitable for work requiring subtlety, but the blonde was devastatingly effective when it came to raids or heavy assault missions.

“The weather might be a problem if you’re planning to do that. It’s going to be snowing soon, isn’t it?”

Winter smirked. “Yes, I do believe you’re right. But snow can be a good thing sometimes.”

A small smile crossed Weiss’s lips. She’d be needed in the field later. It was a bit of a relief. The last thing she wanted was to get rusty, and if Winter needed her out there, it was likely that all of Team RWBY would be deployed as well. Winter might even join them.

As the meal went on, they continued their coded conversation. It was oddly entertaining. Weiss rarely got the opportunity to do things like this with Ruby since the other woman was quite plainspoken, as was Yang. Only Blake and Winter had a knack for games like this, and the Faunus rarely felt inclined to play them. Winter, however, had a razor-sharp mind, and Weiss had always found a certain thrill in crossing swords with her sister, even if their contests tended to be of the verbal variety.

When it was time for dessert, Weiss caught sight of the napkin beside her sister’s hand. It had been folded up, so she couldn’t see what Winter had drawn on it. But as her sister reached for more wine, Weiss’s hand darted out to grab the napkin.

“Weiss!” Winter growled.

“Relax.” Weiss unfolded the napkin. “I simply want to see what you were scribbling earlier…” She trailed off. “Winter, did you draw a child that looks similar to you but with cat ears?”

For the first time in a long, long time, Weiss got to see her sister blush. “I may have.”

“Why?” But the second the question left her lips, Weiss knew why. Oh, this was too good. Winter had teased her ruthlessly about Ruby, and now… now the shoe was on the other foot. “Have you said anything to Blake?”

“No, and if you do, you’ll regret it.”

“Oh, please. I’m not going to blurt out your confession for you.” Weiss’s lips curled. “I’m going to stand back and watch you make a total idiot of yourself. That will be much more fun. I might even record the whole thing for posterity.”

Winter grabbed the napkin back and tucked it into her pocket. “You’re evil, Weiss.”

“Yes, but you know, it runs in the family.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> I’ll be honest, if I didn’t ship Blake with Yang, I’d ship her with Winter. There is, of course, a natural solution to this problem: Winter x Blake x Yang. Oh yeah.
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	63. Yangsanity

**Yangsanity**

**#1**

“Yang, you’re smoking.”

“Yeah.” Yang smirked at Blake. “Smoking hot.”

“No, Yang, you’re smoking because you’re on fire.”

“Oh crap!”

**#2**

“You’re looking pretty cool there, Weiss.”

“Yang, I accidentally froze myself to the ground with some Dust. Do you think you could give me a hand here?”

“Don’t worry, I’ll get you warmed right up.”

“Could you maybe not waggle your eyebrows at me like that? It makes me worry.”

“Maybe you’re worried that I’ll thaw that icy heart of yours.”

“No, I’m worried that you’ll look up my skirt while you’re thawing out my legs.”

**#3**

“Slow down there, Ruby.” Yang grinned. “There’s no need to rush.”

“Uh, Yang, if I slow down, then the Grimm will definitely claw me.”

“Ah, good point.”

**#4**

“Cat got your tongue, Blake?”

Blake rolled her eyes and pulled Yang into a kiss. “No, the cat’s got yours.”

**#5**

“Wow, who knew Winter could be hotter than Summer?”

Ruby winced. “Yang, I know that Weiss’s sister is hot, but could you maybe not compare her to my mom. That’s super weird. Plus, I look just like her, so… yeah.”

**#6**

“I’d lend you a hand, Ruby, but I’ve only got the one.”

“…”

**#7**

“Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven?”

Blake groaned and rubbed her back. “No, but it hurt when I fell off that roof. Why didn’t you catch me?”

**#8**

“Oh, I’m real scared. The kitty has claws.”

Blake’s eye twitched. “No, I have a weapon, which I will use if you don’t stop making puns!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> Because we could all use a bit of sunshine and Yangsanity in our day. 
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	64. Hero

**Hero**

Jaune was totally okay with weird stuff happening whenever Teams JNPR and RWBY spent time together. It was pretty much par for the course, and they could handle anything life threw their way – well, almost anything.

Gigantic Grimm that could crush cities and mangle scores of normal huntsmen and huntresses? No problem.

Hordes of murderous White Fang assassins? No muss, no fuss.

Their own children from the future falling out of the sky? Okay… that was tough.

Still, it was kind of nice knowing that he and Pyrrha got together. He’d always thought he’d be a good dad, and he knew Pyrrha would make an awesome mom. Besides, he’d have been lying if he’d said he hadn’t imagined what it would be like to be married to the redhead. Sure, they were dating, but marriage was a big step – a step they’d apparently taken in the future.

And, seriously, anyone with eyes could tell that Ren and Nora were made for each other. And their kids? Adorable. One of them was a little terror, running all over the place and screaming about sloths and hammers while the other one sort of just went along with the craziness, sighing and giving all of them a small smile before ambling after their sibling.

Ruby and Weiss? It wasn’t exactly what he’d expected, but the more he thought about it, the more it made sense. Plus it was hilarious watching the two of them stammer and blush while their children happily explained how in love they were in the future, and how their manor had a limitless supply of cookies and strawberries. Oh, yeah, that was right. They lived in a manor – not a house, a manor.

But then things got interesting.

The twins with the blonde hair and the cat ears were clearly Yang and Blake’s. And, well, that was something he could see happening too. In fact, he’d kind of suspected they were headed in that direction, given all the little glances and touches. The twins even smirked the way Yang did. But the little girl with cat ears who had the pale hair of a Schnee but Blake’s amber eyes… oh, boy, that was a whole new level of interesting.

“So…” Jaune asked, nodding at the three little girls with cat ears and Blake’s eyes. “Are you guys all related?”

The girls all nodded.

One of the blonde twins smiled sunnily. “Blake is our mom.”

“All three of you?”

“Yep.”

“Who’s your other parent?”

“Well…” the blonde girl tilted her head to one side. “We have two other parents.”

“Oh?” Jaune nodded. “Is that so?”

“Yeah! Blake is our mom, and Yang and Winter are our mommies!” The little girl latched onto Blake. “There’s three of them and three of us!”

Next to Ruby, Weiss stopped blushing and turned, very slowly, to face Blake. Then she grabbed the Faunus and dragged her into a headlock. She looked absolutely murderous. “What the hell? Yang and my older sister? Is one woman not enough for you?”

“What?” Blake tried to squirm free but Weiss’s grip was like iron. “I haven’t even done anything yet!”

“But you will!” Weiss tightened her grip. “I can’t believe you!”

Jaune blinked. Blake was with Yang and Weiss’s older, presumably awesome, sister. He officially had a new hero.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> Ah, the good, old kids-from-the-future trick. It’s not easy being Blake. Sure, she gets with Yang and Winter in the future, but that’s only if she can survive Weiss’s wrath in the present.
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	65. Cats and Dogs

**Cats and Dogs**

Blake eyed the bag of cookies on Ruby’s desk. She knew it would be wrong to take one, but they smelled so, so good. And they tasted so, so good too. Ruby had given her one earlier and the taste – Dust – it was to die for, and she’d made some, ahem, less than appropriate noises while enjoying it.

She’d only take one, and that wouldn’t be so bad, would it? There were still plenty more in the pack. Surely, Ruby wouldn’t miss just one cookie, and Blake was one of her best friends. Ruby would definitely have given her one if she’d been around to ask, right? Yes, she wasn’t doing anything wrong. She was just streamlining the process since Ruby would have let her have one anyway.

As she crept over to Ruby’s desk, she took another quick look around the room. There was no one else there, and it wasn’t like she had any real reason to feel guilty. It was just one cookie – just one cookie that Ruby would have given her anyway. She made her way over to the desk and stopped again. Gah! Why was she feeling so guilty?

She took another look around and listened. There was no one there – except Zwei who had been napping under Ruby’s desk, but he’d woken up at her approach. The dog took one look at Blake and the hand she’d extended toward the bag of cookies. He frowned. Blake winced. Zwei would definitely tell Ruby what she’d done unless…

“Hey, if I give you one, will you keep this between the two of us?”

The dog tilted his head to one side and then nodded. 

“Good dog.” Blake handed the dog a cookie and grabbed one for herself just as she heard the others coming back to the dorm rooming. Eating the cookie quickly, she glanced over to make sure that Zwei had done the same. The dog wagged his tail and opened his mouth. Not a scrap of cookie remained. “Good dog.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> There’s nothing like a bit of friendly cookie theft to help Blake and Zwei bond.
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	66. The Vale Cookie Company

**The Vale Cookie Company**

The Vale Cookie Company was one of the oldest and most prestigious cookie companies in the world. It had been founded almost a hundred years ago by an enterprising family of Faunus who happened to make extremely delicious cookies. Over time, the company had grown. It was now the second largest cookie company in the world, and it was by far the most popular cookie company in Vale.

Their range of cookies and sweets was second to none. Children all around the world were happy to trade their fruits and vegetables in the school playground for Vale Cookie Company products. Dentists loved the Vale Cookie Company, and parents looked upon their logo with despair as their children dragged them into stores to procure more of that sweet, sweet cookie goodness.

And then something happened.

Out of nowhere, the Vale Cookie Company was subject to a hostile takeover, one that transferred ownership of the company to the Schnee Dust Company. To make matters worse, their new owner had called an emergency meeting with the entire board. Attendance was mandatory.

X X X

The board members of the Vale Cookie Company could only tremble in terror in their seats as they looked upon Weiss Schnee, the CEO of the Schnee Dust Company. The young woman at the head of the table had mercilessly crushed all of her company’s competitors in the Dust sector before expanding ruthlessly into related industries.

The Schnee Dust Company had been big before Weiss got her hands on it. Big couldn’t even begin to describe it now. There were even rumours that Weiss had her own private army, but surely those were exaggerations. There was no way that any company, even one as gigantic as the Schnee Dust Company, could afford its own private army, right? Right?

“Good morning, gentlemen.” Weiss’s voice was absolute ice. It gave nothing whatsoever and took everything. “I hope you all understand the position that you are in. As of yesterday, I own a little over three quarters of all the shares in the Vale Cookie Company. For all intents and purposes I am the Vale Cookie Company. If I wanted, I could fire all of you right this second and have you replaced with my own people.”

Sweat broke out across brows all over the room. One of the board members reached for a paper bag to either vomit into or breathe out of.

“However.” Weiss’s lips curled into a smile. “I don’t believe in getting rid of people who do good work.” She nodded at the stack of files in front of her. “I have reviewed this company’s performance over the last ten years. It has been more than good. It has been excellent, outstanding even. I believe that the people in this room not only understand how to run a successful business but they also love the business that they run. Am I correct?”

It took a few moments for the board members to respond. There were a few murmurs of agreement, but most of them settled for nodding.

“As such, I see no need to replace any of you. Nor I do see any need to impose any significant changes upon this company. Indeed, I believe that putting the weight of my company’s resource behind the Vale Cookie Company will only result in even greater success. However, there will be one small change.”

The board members froze. Weiss had been unbelievably generous so far. No firings? No significant changes? And the backing of the Schnee Dust Company as well? It was like a dream come true. But what could this small change be? It must be incredibly important for Weiss to bring it up. They all leaned forward in anticipation.

“I understand that your research and development department has a few openings. Starting Monday, you will have a new employee. You will treat her with the utmost respect, and you will not raise any objections to her being otherwise employed. Am I clear?”

There were nods all around.

“Excellent.”

X X X

“Weiss!” Ruby shouted, waving a letter in the air. “I got in!”

“Oh?” Weiss looked up from the financial report she was perusing. “What did you get into?”

“You know how I applied to work with the research and development department of the Vale Cookie Company?”

“Yes, I remember. I believe you were worried that they wouldn’t accept you since you could only work part time because you’re also a huntress.”

“I know, right? Well… I got in!” Ruby showed the letter to Weiss. “Can you believe it? I start Monday!”

“What a nice surprise.” Weiss kissed Ruby’s cheek. “Congratulations.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> After all the stuff that’s been going around with open letters and what not, I thought it would be nice to have something fluffy to read. Trust Weiss to put all that money of hers to work! I can only imagine that it won’t be long before Ruby finds herself the owner of a strawberry farm too. 
> 
> Anyway, this snippet is actually one of the more recent ones from my Tumblr. The truth is that my backlog is tremendous. I’m trying to work through it, but most of the snippets I’ve posted recently have been from last August. Yeah, my backlog is that big. On the upside, it means that there is still plenty more to come.
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	67. Once Upon A Time

**Once Upon A Time**

Let me tell you a story, my best beloved. It is a story about how legends are not always the way we imagine them, a story about how sometimes the heroes we find are far more interesting than the heroes we dream of. Above all, it is a story that reminds us that sometimes things just work out.

Once upon a time, in a kingdom far, far away, a long, long time ago, there was a princess. Ah, what a beauty this princess was, with hair as white as snow and eyes as blue as the summer sky. Alas, she had a stepmother, and that stepmother took wicked to the next level.

The wicked stepmother betrayed the beautiful princess and tried to have her murdered. A lesser princess might have run screaming to her guards for help or perhaps sought the protection of a handsome and eminently marriageable prince. Not this princess.

No, this princess kicked her wicked stepmother’s ass and took over the kingdom because that’s what awesome princesses do. Her name, my best beloved, was Weiss although her enemies preferred to call her Weiss the Unwedded since she had sworn never to wed a man. No prince was going to run her kingdom after she’d put so much effort into taking over it.

Once upon a time – actually, at the same time – there was a girl in a red riding hood. In fact, everything this girl wore was either red or black. It meant that she never had to worry about colour coordination, and it was so much easier to simply wear red than to worry about bloodstains.

The girl in the red riding hood lived near the woods, and she loved nothing more than to frolic happily with the animals that made their home nearby. She made a living cutting wood, and she was known far and wide as Ruby the Lumberjack. 

One day, a bold and evil wolf came up with a cunning plan to catch Ruby by surprise and eat her. The wolf would disguise itself as Ruby’s grandmother and lure her to a deserted cabin in the middle of the woods. Unfortunately for the wolf, its plan was less than stellar. Ruby’s grandmother had been dead for years, and the deserted cabin simply screamed ambush.

The wolf ended up making a very nice rug that Ruby kept in front of her fireplace.

Once upon a time – again, at the same time, my best beloved – there was a bold adventurer who liked nothing more than to ride as fast as her horse could carry her, so she could feel the wind upon her face. This adventurer’s name was Yang, and she wanted to see the world and touch the stars.

Due to a lack of technological development, touching the stars was out of her reach, but seeing the world was definitely something she could do. One day, she found herself riding through deep and dark woods, the kind of woods that shy, young maidens would have done well to avoid.

Yang was young, but she wasn’t shy. And as for being a maiden, well, my best beloved, a lady does not kiss and tell. 

Growing tired, Yang rode until she came upon a quaint, little cottage that three bears had built despite their lack of carpentry tools and opposable thumbs. Being quite tired and hungry, Yang was only too happy to eat their food, sit in their chairs, and even sleep in their beds. The bears were not happy about this, and being bears, they decided that eating Yang was the only appropriately bearish thing to do.

Yang disagreed, and, after knocking their teeth in, she went on her way. Needless to say, the bears were somewhat more hospitable when Yang got lost and ended up back at the cottage two hours later.

Once upon a time – yes, my best beloved, at the same time – there was a young lady and a monster, a beauty and a beast. Oh, wait. That’s not right. The beauty and the beast were the same person, and she wasn’t cursed to be a hideous half-human, half-cat monstrosity. No, she was a cat Faunus with the most adorable, little cat ears. The name of this beautiful beast was Blake.

When huntsmen came from all across the land to slay the beast and wed the beauty, Blake was less than impressed. She pummelled all of the huntsmen to make examples of them and let it be known that the first step to marrying her would be to not try to murder her. It sounds simple, my best beloved, but love can make fools of anyone, and in this case, it made fools of a lot of people. Like, a lot of people. 

Once upon a time – a little bit after all of these stories – an adventurer met a beautiful beast. It wasn’t love at first sight, but it was love at first pun. The two of them rode off together until they reached the woods where the adventurer’s sister made a living as a lumberjack. Riding off again – and with the adventurer’s horse strongly considering a change in employment – they reached the kingdom of the princess who had sworn to wed no man.

In between arguments, squabbles, and fights, the princess, the lumberjack, the adventurer, and the beast somehow became the very best of friends. The world was never the same either, especially since the princess had quite the megalomaniacal streak, the lumberjack could be bribed with cookies, and the adventurer just loved to fight. As for the beast, she found the whole thing quietly amusing – she even wrote a book about it.

At the end of that book, Yang the Adventurer married Blake the Beautiful Beast in a quiet ceremony that was attended by their friends, family, and three familiar bears. As for Weiss the Unwedded, she married Ruby the Lumberjack. After all, Weiss had sworn to never wed a man, and Ruby was no man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> Because fairy tales are awesome and RWBY fairy tales are even better.
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	68. Wrong Office

**Wrong Office**

Someone knocked on the door, and Weiss glanced up from her paperwork. It was quite late in the evening. Most of her regular staff had already left for the day. Either this was too important to wait until tomorrow, or it was too trivial to bother her with during the busy part of the day.

“Come in.”

The door opened to revealed her older sister – and Ruby. Winter escorted the silver-eyed huntress into Weiss’s office, and the younger of the two sisters raised one eyebrow in question. Ruby was blushing so hard that it was a miracle she hadn’t passed out. Nor had it escaped Weiss’s notice that Ruby was wearing Winter’s coat and very little else.

“I found Ruby on my desk.” Winter’s lips curled as Ruby somehow managed to turn even redder. “I assume that she was hoping to surprise you.” Winter chuckled, and Ruby looked torn between wanting to punch her in the gut and wanting to vanish into the older woman’s coat. “I must also say that she looks exceptionally lovely in black lace.” 

“Winter!” Ruby made a choking sound. “Don’t – just – gah!”

Weiss fought the urge to growl. Nobody got to see Ruby in black lace except her. She considered throwing her pen at Winter before deciding that something heavier was in order. Winter, after all, was highly skilled. Alas, her older sister had the absolute gall to dodge the paperweight that Weiss hefted in her direction.

“Thank you for bringing Ruby here, Winter.” Weiss scowled. “Now, get out.”

Winter laughed. “Oh, Weiss, you should be more grateful. Not everyone would have been so generous. Ruby is very fetching –” Winter ducked another paperweight and then stepped neatly away from the stapler that followed in short order. “You should also work on your aim. Perhaps a few sessions with Blake would be to your benefit.”

“Out, Winter! Now!”

Winter laughed again and then wisely chose to retreat before Weiss lost her temper and decided to throw her chair.

“Weiss…” Ruby practically threw herself at Weiss. “That was so embarrassing!”

“I can imagine.” Weiss wrapped her arms around Ruby. “It could have been worse. I know Winter likes to tease, but she will keep this to herself.”

“No, she won’t!” 

Weiss pursed her lips. “No, I suppose she won’t. But the only people she will tell are Yang and Blake, and that’s not so bad, is it?”

“It’s terrible!” Ruby wailed. “Yang is definitely going to tease me, and Blake will do that thing where she looks over her book at you and you just know she’s laughing at you on the inside.”

“She is rather good at that,” Weiss murmured. She tipped Ruby’s chin up and kissed her. “Don’t worry. I’ll speak to my father first thing tomorrow morning. Having my office next to Winter’s simply isn’t working. In the meantime… perhaps you could remove Winter’s coat. I want to see that black lace she mentioned.”

Ruby grinned and sat down on Weiss’s desk before tossing the coat she’d borrowed aside. “What do you think?”

“I think Winter was wrong,” Weiss murmured, rising out of her chair to stand between Ruby’s legs. She kissed Ruby’s throat and then tugged the other woman closer. “You don’t look exceptionally lovely in black lace – you look absolutely stunning.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> Yang and Blake will absolutely tease Ruby about this. Then again, it’s not like Ruby doesn’t have stuff to tease them about, and even if Ruby doesn’t feel like using that stuff against them, Weiss most certainly will.
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	69. Moonlight Means Trouble (The Trouble With Moonlight #5)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: This snippet is set in the same AU as The Trouble With Moonlight #1 (chapter 13), #2 (chapter 14), #3 (chapter 17) and If Wishes Were Fishes (chapter 19).

**Moonlight Means Trouble (The Trouble With Moonlight #5)**

“I think we can all agree to never speak of this again,” Weiss said as she did her best to ignore the fact that they had not only destroyed their own dorm room but most of the dorm building as well.

Ruby nodded glumly. In a way, this was all her fault. She was normally so conscientious and meticulous about keeping tracking of the moon and taking the appropriate measures at the appropriate time. It had been years since she’d slipped up – years! But that didn’t change the fact that this month, she had gotten the date of the full moon wrong.

As a result, she’d woken up in the middle of the night, taken one look at the moon and transformed into a werewolf. Not cool. Naturally, the very first thing she’d done was chase after Blake who had a curse of her own to deal with each full moon. In Blake’s case, it was transforming into a cat, not a were-lion or some other suitably menacing creature. No, Blake transformed into the cutest, cuddliest cat in the entire world.

Apparently, werewolf Ruby had decided that chasing cat Blake around the dorm room would be fun. After all, what could be more fun that chasing the cute, little kitty cat around? Yes, it had been fun – for her. Was it fun for Blake? Not so much. Blake had no way of knowing that Ruby just wanted to play. Instead, she’d been convinced that her teammate and friend was trying to eat her. 

In Blake’s defence, Ruby’s werewolf form was pretty scary. She was all black fur, silver, eyes, and big, big claws and teeth. Her attempt at a friendly smile had more closely resembled a vicious snarl, and things had gone downhill from there.

Blake had taken one look at Ruby and bolted for the nearest bed – which happened to belong to Weiss. The heiress had then had the privilege of waking up to a yowling cat clawing at her face in a desperate bid to wake her up shortly before a werewolf with its mouth wide open to reveal dagger-like teeth had leapt up onto her bed after the cat.

Weiss had shrieked like the hounds of hell were after her, which, considering the appearance of Ruby’s werewolf form, had not been all that far from the truth.

How could it have gotten worse?

Cue Yang waking up.

Now, Ruby turning into a werewolf was bad. Werewolves, as a rule, tended to be involved with a lot of property damage. She’d already broken her bed, smashed Blake’s, and she was well into the process of ripping up Weiss’s bed too. But Yang didn’t transform into a werewolf, not even close.

No, when Yang freaked out, she transformed into a dragon, and she wasn’t a little dragon either. She was one hundred and fifty feet of golden-scaled, winged, fire-breathing death. And seeing her sister in her werewolf form chasing after her girlfriend who was in her cute and cuddly cat form while Weiss waved her rapier around in a desperate bid to fend off Ruby, whom she hadn’t even known could transform into a werewolf, qualified as a very appropriate time to freak out.

Yang hadn’t even had to try to smash the building. Simply transforming into her dragon form had ripped it apart like it was made of kindling. The only good thing about Yang transforming was that she’d been able to very rapidly subdue Ruby while Blake perched on one shoulder and hissed at the werewolf. Weiss, meanwhile, could only cover her face with her hands and attempt to put out some of the fires.

There was no possible way that they could ever explain this and get away with it.

But they had.

Professor Ozpin, wonderful headmaster that he was, had taken one look at the situation and quickly cordoned off the area. He had then proceeded to explain to all the dazed and horrified students that the whole thing was due to an explosion that had been caused by a gas leak. The gas leak may also have induced a few hallucinations, so the students would be well served to forget any crazy things that they may have seen, especially those involving a dragon chasing a werewolf that was chasing a cat.

And that left Team RWBY where they were now: sitting on a bench across from the burnt out ruins of their dorm while wrapped in the blankets they’d managed to salvage from the wreckage.

“On the upside,” Yang murmured. “At least you don’t have to keep your whole werewolf thing a secret from Weiss and Blake anymore, Ruby.”

Blake, still in her cat form since dawn was a few hours away, could only scowl at her team’s leader. She was not happy about being chased by a werewolf. Once Yang turned her back, she was definitely going to give Ruby a good clawing.

“Oh, come on, Blake.” Yang scratched Blake behind her ears and earned herself a purr. “It wasn’t like Ruby was going to eat you. She was only trying to play.”

“Did you see her teeth?” Weiss growled. “They were huge! Huge!”

Ruby slumped even further onto the bench. She’d managed to change back after no small amount of effort and a few hastily applied emergency procedures. “Weiss…”

The heiress sighed and ran one hand through her hair, which had come to closely resemble a hedgehog. There were also bits of ash in it, and soot had been smeared onto her face. “Ruby, I’m mad about the fact that you didn’t tell me you could transform into a werewolf. That’s the kind of thing you need to tell people who share a room with you before your transform into a werewolf and terrify them.” The Schnee reached over and put one arm around Ruby. “But, no, I don’t hate you are anything stupid like that. If I can get over Yang turning into a dragon, then I can get over you turning into a werewolf.”

“Thanks, Weiss,” Ruby whispered. “I… I mean it.”

“Yes, well, perhaps you could tell me what you normally do to avoid turning into a werewolf each full moon, so I can make sure you actually do it next time.”

“I thought we weren’t going to talk about this anymore,” Yang teased.

“Oh, shut up,” Weiss muttered. “Ruby might have broken three beds, but you’re the one who broke the dorm building and set it on fire.”

“Hey!” Yang huffed. “It’s not my fault that my dragon form is totally awesome.”

“It’s ridiculously huge is what it is,” Weiss shot back. “Do you really need to be one hundred and fifty feet long? I’m pretty sure you could mangle anything even if you were only fifty feet long. I mean you breathe fire and fly super fast.” She paused. “Wait… are you even done growing? Are you going to get even bigger?”

Yang shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe.”

“Oh, good grief.”

“Hey, Weiss,” Ruby said. “Professor Ozpin was pretty nice about all of this, don’t you think?”

“Yes, well, I’m sure he can see the advantages of having a werewolf and a dragon in the field against the Grimm.” Weiss cast an amused look at Blake. “And perhaps Blake’s cat form could come in handy for infiltration purposes.”

“Yeah.” Ruby giggled. “Blake is so cute and cuddly as a cat. No one would ever suspect her if she snuck into a secret meeting or something.” The silver-eyed girl laughed. “But wouldn’t it be funny if you transformed into something too, Weiss? Haha… ha?”

Weiss looked away. Ruby, Yang, and Blake all turned to stare.

“Do you transform into something, Weiss?” Ruby asked. “Do you?”

“I am not going to answer that,” Weiss replied.

“You do transform into something!” Ruby grabbed Weiss. “Tell us! Come on, tell us!”

“No.

“Please.”

“No.”

“Please.”

“NO!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> Just when you thought I’d forgotten all about the transforming craziness, I’m back. But, seriously, Ruby as a werewolf was an easy thing to see, and I might have cackled a bit while imagining this vicious-looking werewolf chasing after Blake’s cuddly cat form. And what does Weiss transform into? That’s a story for another day. Oh, and go, Yang! I can’t help but think that the fight against Adam would have gone differently if she’d been a giant dragon spewing heaps of fire everywhere.
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	70. Hostile Takeover

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: This is set in the same AU as Chapter 66.

**Hostile Takeover  
**   
X X X

Weiss folded her hands together on the table in front of her and glared icily at the other people in the boardroom. These people had made Ruby sad, and they would pay for that. But first, she needed them to fix their mistake.

“It has come to my attention,” Weiss began. “That this company has recently discontinued a certain line of strawberry-flavoured cookies.”

“Um…” One of the board members gulped. “I think I know the product you’re referring to. It wasn’t profitable enough to –”

“Did I ask you to speak?” Weiss raised one eyebrow. “Well?” The poor fellow winced and did his best to disappear before he finally shook his head. “Exactly. Be quiet.” Her lips curled. “As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, you have recently discontinued a certain product. As of tomorrow, you will be resuming production of that product. I expect it to be back on store shelves by the end of the week, and I expect you to run a suitably ingenious marketing campaign to ensure that it does become a profitable product. I have it on good authority that the cookies in question are excellent. That being the case, the failure is most likely in the way the product is marketed.”

“You can’t do this!” someone shouted. “You might own the Vale Cookie Company, but you don’t own this company!”

Weiss sneered. “Is that what you think? You’re right in saying that I own the Vale Cookie Company, but I also happen to own this one. If you would all be so kind as to check your scrolls, you’ll find that I now own a controlling stake in this company as well. I am now the proud owner of the two largest cookies companies in the world, and I am telling you to make those cookies! Am I clear?” Silence reigned over the boardroom. “Good. Now, get to work.” 

X X X

“Wow!” Ruby darted over to the shelf and waved something at Weiss. It was a pack of her favourite strawberry-flavoured cookies, which were made by the Atlas Baked Goods Conglomerate. “I thought they stopped making these. I even called the company and asked them two weeks ago. I wonder what happened?”

Weiss regarded her fiancée with an indulgent smile. “I’m sure there was just a small hiccup in supply. I doubt it will happen again.” She put one arm around Ruby. “By the way, how are things going at the Vale Cookie Company? Have they tried making any of the flavours you’ve suggested?”

Ruby nodded eagerly. “Yeah! They even invited me into the bakery to help.” Her brows furrowed, and she gave Weiss a suspicious look. “Hey… you didn’t do anything crazy like buy the Vale Cookie Company and the Atlas Baked Goods Conglomerate, did you?”

Weiss somehow managed to keep a straight face. “Of course not, Ruby. That would be crazy. I mean can you imagine me buying a cookie company?”

Ruby laughed and pulled Weiss into a kiss. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. Maybe I’m just lucky.”

Weiss tugged Ruby into another kiss. Oh, Ruby had no idea. But Weiss was quite sure that she was the one who was lucky. After all, Ruby loved her. She couldn’t get much luckier than that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> CEO Weiss strikes again! It would be absolutely hilarious if Weiss somehow manages to make her two cookie companies more profitable than the Schnee Dust Company. I can only imagine what her father will say once he finds out. He’ll probably start off enraged until he finds out how much money they’re making selling baked goods.
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	71. The Hero’s Lament

**The Hero’s Lament**

Ruby sagged back against the ruined wall and closed her eyes. She was so tired of fighting. Crescent Rose slipped out of her hands and clattered to the ground. The scythe’s blade was broken, and doubted that its gun form could still fire. But the weapon had done its job. Ruby was still alive, and all of her enemies were dead.

No, that wasn’t quite right.

Everyone was dead.

Yang had been the first one to go. Her sister had always been reckless, and she had a habit of challenging the odds. Well, the odds always won eventually. Always. All Ruby had been able to salvage was Yang’s scarf, and even that hadn’t lasted much longer. She’d lost it when the Grimm had overrun Vale, and they’d been forced to abandon Beacon.

Weiss had been next. Ruby’s gut clenched, and she opened her eyes to stare up at the clouds passing by. It was going to rain soon, maybe not tonight, but tomorrow morning probably. Weiss had died fighting alongside the White Fang in a doomed attempt to hold Atlas on an afternoon like this. Things had been so bad by then that the White Fang hadn’t care about anything except surviving, even if it had meant allying with the Schnee. It hadn’t mattered. The Schnee family was gone and so were the White Fang.

Blake… Blake had been the last member of her team to fall. The Faunus had died protecting refugees fleeing the ruins of Vacuo. Ruby had been there, but she hadn’t been able to do a thing. There had been so many Grimm – too many for her to do anything except try to survive. But Blake had been everywhere, a storm of deadly shadows, until finally one of the Grimm had managed to hit the real Blake instead of a clone. She’d died covered in the blood of the Grimm she’d killed, but she’d died all the same.

Ruby laughed softly. Her head lolled back to thump into the wall. And what had they all died for? Vale, Atlas, and Vacuo were gone. Mistral would be lucky to last another month. But what she hated the most was that they’d died and that she’d lived. She’d never wanted that. She’d always known, deep down inside, that she’d probably die a huntress. But she’d always thought that she’d die with her team at her side, that they’d die together. 

But they were gone, and she was still there, still fighting a battle that she couldn’t possible win.

“Ruby…”

Ruby turned her head. It was Pyrrha. She was alone. Ruby’s jaw tightened.

“Where’s Ren?” Ruby whispered.

“Gone.” Pyrrha’s eyes gave nothing away. Her eyes had been dead ever since they’d lost Jaune and Nora evacuating Beacon. “We’re all that’s left. I heard Velvet and Coco got cut off. We haven’t heard from them since last night.”

Ruby turned the words over in her head. Almost twenty-four hours without contact in an area swarming with Grimm. They were almost certainly dead.

“What’s the point?” Ruby asked. “What are we even fighting for anymore?”

“I don’t know,” Pyrrha said. “I just… I don’t want them to have died for nothing. If there are still people left, if we’re still protecting something, then maybe their deaths meant something.”

Ruby nodded slowly. “Their deaths have to mean something, don’t they?”

“I think so.” Pyrrha reached down and pulled Ruby to her feet. They were the only two living things on a plain littered with corpses. “We need to get back. If we’re caught out here at night…”

“I know.” Ruby lifted Crescent Rose. She didn’t know if they had the parts to repair it, but she had to try. “One day at a time, huh?”

“One day at a time.” Pyrrha helped Ruby hobble along. “And maybe one day we’ll find a way to end all of this or maybe even a way to stop it all from happening.”

“Penny thinks that it might be possible.” Ruby tightened her hold on Pyrrha. Without the redhead’s help, she wouldn’t have been able to walk. “She has years of data about our Semblances. She thinks that maybe… with enough power, she might be able to throw something together, something that could send a message back.”

“Just a message?” Pyrrha smiled faintly. “It’s better than nothing. If we can save the past, this present will cease to exist. At least then, there will be some version of us that doesn’t have to live through all of this.”

Ruby laughed softly. “I could die happy if we could do that much.”

“I could too.”

X X X

Three months later, Mistral fell.

But Penny was wrong.

They weren’t able to send a message back. They were able to do something much better. As the Grimm ripped their way into humanity’s last refuge, Penny ripped her power core out of her chest. It was the last gift that she’d ever give Ruby, one last present for the first person that had ever really given a damn about her.

As her faltering processor used up the last of her emergency power to issue an endless stream of warnings, she used her power core to super charge the Temporal Displacement Gateway, the pinnacle of more than ten years of research, a machine that combined the full power of Pyrrha’s mature Semblance with Ruby’s. It was a machine that could tear a hole through time.

“Goodbye, friend.” Penny slumped against the console as the two women inside the glowing sphere of energy vanished. “Goodbye…”

As the gateway fell still and silent again, Penny’s eyes drifted shut. Her fingers twitched. The explosives she’d rigged around the fortress went off, one after the other, a single flower of vengeful fire blooming high into the night.

It was done. Nobody, not even the Grimm, would be able to follow Ruby and Pyrrha now. It was up to them. The future – and the past – was in their hands.

X X X

Ruby and Pyrrha woke up in the middle of a deserted field in Mistral. For a moment, neither of them could quite believe it.

“It worked…” Ruby got up and looked around. Her entire body ached, but she was alive. The last fortress in the world was nowhere to be seen. But of course it wasn’t there. Humanity hadn’t built it yet. She swayed. Penny hadn’t been built yet either, Penny who’d put together the gateway and ripped her heart out to give Ruby and Pyrrha the best chance possible to make things right.

Pyrrha staggered to her feet. For the first time in years, there was fire in her eyes. It burned fierce and unyielding. “We need to find out exactly what year it is – what day. We need to know how much time we have.”

“Yeah…” Ruby trailed off. “Let’s move.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> I thought I’d take a detour from the usual fluffy programming to make a stop over in time travel country. What do you think? I actually wrote this last September (yes, the backlog remains mighty indeed), which is why Penny and Pyrrha are, well, alive in the future.
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	72. Are Your Prepared For Awesomeness?

**Are Your Prepared For Awesomeness?**

Do you like awesome stuff?

Is lameness your mortal enemy?

Can you handle pure, unadulterated, and utterly unbridled hotness?

If so… get your Yang Xiao Long plush toy today! Order now, and the Beacon Plush Toy Company will even throw in a Ruby Rose plush toy with real scything action!  
 _  
Note: Plush toy may spontaneously combust. This toy is not compatible with Evil Incorporated’s Neo plush toy and may even attack it. Special care should also be exercised if you own an Adam Taurus plush toy.  
_  
X X X  
 **  
Is Evil Your Thing?  
**  
Do you like evil?

Have you ever pushed a turtle onto its back just because you could?

Does the thought of murdering someone to steal their powers turn you on?

If so… get your Cinder Fall plush toy today! Evil Incorporated is proud to offer this limited edition plush toy to the first one hundred buyers! It comes complete with an assortment of different weapons that really work! 

Are you sick of pests lurking around your home? Plush Cinder will happily stab, shoot, or burn anything that makes you mad. Heck, she might even stab, shoot, or burn things without being asked to because she’s just that awesome!  
 _  
Note: Plush toy may attempt to overthrow you. This toy is not compatible with the Beacon Plush Toy Company’s Pyrrha Nikos plush toy.  
_  
X X X  
 **  
Do You Like Alcohol?  
**  
Do you ever wish that you could take alcohol with you everywhere?

Have you ever poked someone with a stick because you thought it was funny?

Is your combat ability directly proportional to how drunk you are?

If so… the Qrow Branwen plush toys is for you! You can now purchase your very own plush toy of Remnant’s coolest semi-drunk uncle. Plush Qrow will happily annoy your enemies, friends, and everyone else around you, all while drinking out of his very own flask! 

Never again will you have to worry about things getting boring. Plush Qrow can turn any boring social situation into an all-out brawl!

If you order today, we’ll even throw in a free Raven Branwen plush toy! Be careful, though, if you turn your back on her for even a minute… she might just disappear!  
 _  
Note: The Beacon Plush Toy Company does not endorse drinking on the job unless, like Qrow, drinking only makes you more powerful.  
_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> You can think of each little snippet as an advertisement set in the same AU as one of my other stories (Charm Offensive), in which both Beacon and the White Fang resort to selling plush toys to try to make up for some funding shortfalls. Which plush toy would you buy, and which plush toy would you want them to make next?
> 
> Me? I’d want a Penny – she slices, she dices, she even comes with lasers! And she’s cuddle ready!
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	73. Temptation

**Temptation**

Blake was going insane. There was no other way to put it.

“Hey, are you okay?”

Blake swallowed thickly and tried not to stare as Ruby leaned over to check her temperature. It was bad enough that the air conditioning in the dorm had given out, but did it really have to happen right in the middle of the hottest summer in more than a decade? At this rate, she was going to do something crazy.

“I’m fine.” Blake closed her eyes and tried to forget what Ruby looked like walking around in her underwear in a desperate bid to beat the heat. A year ago, it wouldn’t have been so bad, but Ruby had, well, grown over the past year, and not just vertically. She’d probably never have quite the figure that Yang had, but Ruby was still a very, very attractive, young woman with long, perfectly-toned legs, and…

Nope. Blake shook her head. She was not going there.

“Ah, relax.” Blake twitched as she felt a familiar hand pat her on the head. “Blake is just wilting because of the heat.”

Blake tried – she really, really did – not to open her eyes, but she failed miserably. Ruby had backed off to sit in front of the small fan that they’d set up, and Yang had taken her place next to Blake’s bed. The blonde was covered in a thin sheen of sweat that did nothing but highlight just how wonderful her figure was. Blake’s mouth went dry. Yang was a perfect mix of femininity and strength. She would look every bit as good in a dress or some jeans as she would ripping things to pieces on the battlefield.

“Then again,” Yang said, leaning over Blake. “She does look a little flushed. Have you been drinking enough water, Blake?”

Blake nodded slowly. Did Yang have to lean over her like that? Had the blonde even considered that maybe that was why she was so flushed? For crying out loud, all Blake had to do was tilt her head up a little, and she’d be able to lick the sweat right off –

“Stop crowding her.” Weiss shooed Yang off and handed Blake a bottle of water that she’d cooled using Dust. “Drink that. It’ll make you feel better.”

Blake accepted the bottle of water and took a long sip of it as Weiss sat on the edge of her bed. The heiress was now officially the shortest member of their team, but her lack of height only accentuated how petite and graceful she was. Everything that Weiss did, even simply sitting down, was performed with the kind of elegance that was equal parts upbringing and instinct.

“Honestly, I don’t know why they haven’t already fixed the air conditioning.” Weiss folded her arms across her chest. It was a disturbingly nice chest. “It’s ridiculous. I even offered to pay for the repairs, so we wouldn’t all die of heat exhaustion.”

It was a testament to Blake’s self-control – and perhaps her sense of self-preservation – that she didn’t stare too much at the way the muscles in Weiss’s legs shifted under her skin. Ruby had the musculature of a runner, and Yang had the build of a brawler, but Weiss… Weiss was a dancer through and through, all smooth, graceful lines and slim, toned limbs. She also seemed to prefer lace, if her choice of attire was anything to go by.

“But, really, are you okay, Blake? You’ve been quiet all afternoon.” Weiss frowned faintly. “We can take you to the infirmary if you want.”

“I’m fine,” Blake said. “I’m just… tired. That’s all.” She closed her eyes again and tried not to think too much about the three very attractive, young women nearby who were very dear to her and not wearing very much at all. She failed miserably. Again. Stupid, sexy team! Did they have any idea what they did to her? 

“If you say so.” Weiss frowned. “Is there anything else we can do for you?”

Blake clamped her mouth shut and shook her head before her traitorous libido could suggest that the four of them indulge in an orgy. 

“Okay. But let us know if you need anything.” Weiss headed over to the fan. “Ruby! Stop following the fan around as it rotates. You’re blocking anyone else from getting any cool air.”

“But I’m hot,” Ruby whined.

Yes, Blake thought. She was. And so was Yang. And so was Weiss.

“Well, it could be worse,” Yang said. “At least we didn’t lose the heating system during the middle of winter.” The blonde laughed. “Otherwise, we might have had to huddle together for warmth.”

Damn it. Blake closed her eyes and covered her face with a pillow. Now, she was imagining her team huddled together for warmth. Of course, they’d need to maximise skin contact by taking their clothes off, and…

Damn it.

Damn it.

Damn it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> Poor (lucky?) Blake. She’s stuck in a room with Weiss, Ruby, and Yang as they wander around in their underwear. What an absolute tragedy. But, seriously, I’ll let you guys in on a secret. Although most of the stuff that I write is Ruby/Weiss and Blake/Yang with some Winter/Blake/Yang on the side, I can definitely see Blake/Weiss and Blake/Ruby happening. I also can’t help but imagine all three of her teammates being completely aware of what they do to her and choosing to prance around half naked just to torment her.
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	74. Weiss Rose

**Weiss Rose**

Weiss was slightly perturbed to hear Ruby giggling. Well, that wasn’t entirely correct. Ruby giggling was not in and of itself a cause for alarm. It was the specific kind of giggling that worried her. It was the giggling of a young woman in love, the giggling of someone who was doubtless about to drag Weiss off to do something hopelessly romantic and utterly embarrassing.

The last time that Ruby had giggled like that, Weiss had found herself taking a walk in the rain with Ruby, much to Yang and Blake’s amusement. Her only consolation was that Ruby happened to look quite good in wet clothes, and Weiss had been more than happy to warm up her afterward. The time before that, Ruby had serenaded her with a love song that she’d written. Now, Weiss loved Ruby very much, but not even Weiss could love Ruby’s song writing. She still wasn’t sure whether to feel pleased or insulted that Ruby’s lyrics had stated that the only thing with nicer curves than Crescent Rose was Weiss.

What new romantic horror would Ruby unleash upon her this time?

Weiss crept closer and peeked over Ruby’s shoulder. Ruby was writing the same name in her notebook over and over again.

Weiss Rose.

Weiss smirked and leaned over to kiss Ruby on the cheek. “Weiss Rose, Ruby? What are you thinking?”

Ruby blushed prettily. Dust, Weiss loved that blush. “Uh… you don’t like it?”

“Oh, I like it.” Weiss decided to forgo kissing Ruby’s cheek again in favour of kissing her lips. Ah, much sweeter. “But I’m afraid that you’ve got it the wrong way around.” She plucked the pen out of Ruby’s hands and wrote down a different name, one that turned Ruby’s blush absolutely rosy. “There, I like that better. What do you think?” 

There, on the page beside Weiss Rose was the name that Weiss had written down: Ruby Schnee.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> Ah, which surname will they end up taking? If you’ve followed me on Tumblr, you’ll know that I ended up going with Rose-Schnee since I couldn’t decide. In fact, that’s what I’ve done with a lot of pairings in which I couldn’t decide. For instance, Lightning and Fang (FF XIII) end up calling themselves the Yun-Farrons. This approach does, however, lead to some rather long-winded names. Blake and Yang, for example, are the Xiao-Long-Belladonnas. Yeah, that’s not exactly convenient.
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	75. Offering

**Offering**

Of all the many gods of Remnant, there were few so feared as Death. Oh, a wise mortal feared and revered all of the gods, but a wise or lucky mortal might also be able to avoid most of them. There were places of peace and tranquillity where the gods of war seldom walked, and there were places of warmth and safety where the gods of pestilence and sickness rarely ventured.

But all mortals were destined to know Death, and so all mortals made offerings to Death in the hope that their encounter would only come after a long and peaceful life. The gods demanded all manner of offerings. Some demanded wealth in the form of gold and precious jewels. Others demanded wheat and livestock. And still others demanded sacrifice of an altogether darker variety.

But what of Death?

Death asked for something far simpler: a plate of cookies, a glass of milk, and some strawberries.

It was such a strange demand, and there were many who questioned why so powerful a god would desire such simple things. But the priests and priestesses of Death were adamant, and so, at least once year, all wise families would go to make their offering of cookies, milk, and strawberries at one of Death’s many temples.

It became common, too, for families to have their children submit the offering. Perhaps they could win Death’s favour and blessing, for the world could be a cruel place indeed, and children were often the first to suffer. Who better to protect the helpless than Death? Who better to ward off the slings and arrows of misfortune?

To see Death while submitting an offering was said to be either a great blessing or a terrible curse, and it often took many years for those who laid eyes upon Death to know which one it would be. 

X X X

Princess Weiss Schnee could not help but tremble as she walked alongside her family into Death’s temple. It was a glorious place, wrought of the finest materials and decorated with vivid combinations of crimson, silver, and black. The scythe – Death’s symbol – was a frequent motif, along with the great cloak, red as blood, that Death was said to wear over clothing as dark as the dead of night.

And in the courtyard before the temple grew a single rose that the endless passage of the seasons could not touch and no heat or flood could harm. It was ageless and undying, forever perfect and forever the colour of freshly split blood. 

It was her turn to submit her family’s offering, and as one of the princesses of the Kingdom of Atlas, Weiss would be submitting it in the inner chapel, a place open to only the holiest of clerics and the noblest of nobles.

They reached the entrance of the chapel, and her father nodded gravely at her.

“Go, Weiss. Submit our offering.”

With trembling hands, Weiss took the plate of cookies and strawberries and the glass of milk. As was his custom, her father had arranged for the very finest of bakers to craft the cookies in their offering, and he had chosen only the most delicious of strawberries from the very best of farms, as well. Likewise, the milk was of the highest quality, unmatched in all the land.

Slowly, Weiss made her way into the chapel. There was no one else within it, and the candles inside cast light upon the stained-glass window that depicted scenes involving Death. There was Death smiting the people of Mountain Glenn who had dared to sin against the gods by inviting demons in the world. Death had not stricken them with fire or ice or thunder. No, Death had walked unseen amongst the people of Mountain Glenn, and all of them had perished in a single night. But not a single building had been broken, nor had even a single blade of grass been harmed, such was the power of Death.

Elsewhere, Death stood amidst the four seasons. It was said that the goddess of summer had given birth to Death and in doing so had become the first soul that Death ever took into her domain. Yet Death loved her mother deeply, and so each year, she let Summer free to walk the world once more, if only for a time. 

It was said too, that Death would have dearly loved to let her mother go, but there were rules that not even Death could break.

Slowly, with painstaking care, Weiss went forward to place the offering at the base of the statute that stood at the front of the chapel. It was Death: a tall woman with a scythe whose features were obscured behind a hooded cloak. Yet, as she climbed the stairs to the statue, she tripped. The cookies and strawberries scattered across the steps. The glass of milk broke, and its contents spilled onto the steps.

Weiss cried out. This was terrible! She was only a girl, but she had heard stories of what happened to those who offended Death. This offering was supposed to win Death’s favour, but Weiss had dropped it. What was she supposed to do now? Her father would undoubtedly scold her terribly if she told him what had happened. But, surely, it would be improper – even sinful – to simply gather up the offering and submit it anyway. The cookies and strawberries had touched the floor, and the milk had spilt.

What was she supposed to do?”

Her father must have heard, for he entered the chapel. Weiss turned to him at once.

“Father –”

“Weiss!” Her father’s voice cracked out like a whip. “What have you –”

The words died in his throat, and his gaze snapped to something behind her. A chill filled the room, and Weiss felt the edges of a cloak brush against her back. Something clanked into the stone steps in front of her, and she froze as she realised it was the shaft of a large scythe wrought of a material so black that it seemed to drink in the candlelight.

Weiss didn’t want to turn around. She knew who was standing behind her. In front of her, her father had fallen to his knees and pressed his face to the floor. Her father had always told her that kings did not bow. But there was one god to whom all kings, no matter how proud, would bow.

“Please,” her father begged. There was no anger in his voice, only desperate and terrible concern for her. “Please…”

And then he could speak no more, for the eerie chill grew so sharp that the very air seemed afraid to carry her father’s voice. Almost as though she were a puppet whose strings were being pulled, Weiss found herself turning.

Death stood before her. 

The stories had spoken truly. Death was tall, and her hooded cloak was as red as blood. It moved almost as though it were alive although no wind or breeze stirred through the chapel. Beneath it, Death was clothed in the night itself, a darkness so deep it could only ever have existed in a place where the sun, the moon, and all the stars were dead. 

And above Weiss, beneath the hood, were a pair of eyes like silver stars.

Weiss could not speak.

Death stared into her eyes, and then, like it was the most natural thing in the world, she bent down and picked up one of the cookies that had landed on top of the others and thus never touched the floor. Slowly, she raised it to her lips and took a bite of it. A smile crossed her lips, and Death reached down, dragging one finger down Weiss’s face over her left eye.

“Mine.”

And then Death was gone, and Weiss’s father was pulling her into his arms, his eyes widening as he took in the scar that Death had left, the one that marked Weiss as Death’s Chosen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> So, I thought it was time to go with something a little bit less fluffy a tad more mythical. I hope you guys enjoyed it. Some of you who’ve been reading my stories for a bit longer will probably recognise the tone of this snippet as being very much reminiscent of _Whispers of the Gods_. Now here’s a fun question: if Ruby is Death and Weiss is her chosen, who or what are the other characters?
> 
> I’ve also received some questions lately about whether I write original fiction. I do indeed write original fiction. You can find me on Amazon as L. G. Estrella. If you’ve enjoyed my humorous stuff, I’d recommend _Two Necromancers, a Bureaucrat, and an Elf_. It’s got everything you’ve come to expect from me: fun, humour, action, warmth, ninja rats, pyromaniacal elves, precocious apprentices, and a necromancer who believes that shovels are the greatest weapons ever made.
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	76. Night and Day

_Note: Potentially set in the same AU as Offering.  
_  
X X X  
 **  
Night and Day  
**  
There is no love so tragic amongst all the gods than the love between Night and Day. Until the end of all things, they are doomed to never meet, save for the most fleeting of moments at the edges of dusk and dawn.

It is said that Day is the older sister of Death, and it is said too that there are few, even amongst the gods, who can match her beauty or her resolve. She strides boldly from one end of the world to the other in clothing woven from the light of the first dawn of creation. Her hair is golden flame, and when the gods of flowers made lilacs, they did so to echo the colour of her eyes.

And as there is Day, so too is there Night. Night’s hair is as dark as Day’s is bright, and her eyes are purest amber. For as long as Day has existed, so too has Night, and for an age they did not meet. Day has her duties, as does Night, and even they cannot break the great laws that govern creation, the great laws that are strong enough to bind even Death to whom all others must one day answer.

Yet, one dusk, Day looked back over her shoulder where before she had only looked boldly ahead. And, for the first time, she laid eyes on Night whose back, wreathed in shadows, had been all that she had ever seen before. So lovely was Night and so mournful was her gaze that Day’s heart was ensnared at once. For another age, she looked back each dusk, hoping to catch another glimpse of Night and wondering what could torment one so fair.

And so it came to be that Night began to meet Day’s gaze each dusk and to look behind her each dawn, wondering why Day should suddenly take such interest in her. And with each look that they exchanged, their desire to know one another grew stronger until at last, overcome, they resolved to meet.

For the first time in creation, there was no day and there was no night. Instead, an eerie twilight fell over the world as Night and Day abandoned their duties and met upon a lonely mountaintop where now the greatest of their temples stand in honour of that meeting. Long did they speak, and with each word, they grew ever closer until at last, covering Night’s lips with hers, Day took Night for a lover.

Yet such a thing could not last long. For the laws that bound creation had decreed that Day should never meet Night save for two moments only, one at dusk and another at dawn, lest the order of creation be disrupted and the world be left in ruin.

Thus Death was sent to speak to her sister.

Death came upon Night and Day as they dozed, exhausted by their affections, and her heart was filled with grief. So happy did her sister look, even in sleep, and she had come bearing news that would see that happiness destroyed forever.

“Awaken,” Death said, and she would have wept, but Death cannot weep. “You have lingered long enough, Day. Once more, you must walk across the world. Twilight has fallen, and that is not the way that things must be. Dwell not with Night any longer. Your duties must come first.”

But Day would not be parted from Night so easily. “Sister, for the love that you hold for me, do not speak thusly. I love Night and would stay with her.”

Death took up her weapon, the scythe that claims the life of all things. “Well do you know the laws that bind the world, and well do you know your place in creation. It was decreed when the world was young that Night and Day should never meet save for dusk and dawn alone. Now, sister, for the love you hold for me, do not make me ask again. You are strong, yes, amongst the mightiest of the gods, but I am Death. Leave Night. Find some mortal to love, or even another god. But you cannot have Night.”

Day’s fists clenched, and the light of a thousand dawns spilled out of her, light enough to scour the world. But Death was unmoved.

“Leave us.” NIght rose to her feet and pushed past Day. Ribbons of shadow filled the air around her, and a dread darkness fell upon the mountain, so deep that it could have swallowed the sun. “I have so little to call my own. The mortals despise me and only creatures of evil and wickedness revere me. Why should I not have love? Why can I not have Day? Why should my darkness be the only thing that Day’s light cannot touch or warm?”

And still Death would not be moved. “There is only one way that you and Day might be together, and you know exactly what it is. On the last day of creation, my sister will enter my realm, as will you. There, you may be together always, but that day is far away, and there is much yet for you to do. Do not force my hand, Night, for I am Death, and neither you nor my sister can withstand me. Even the night and the day must die in time, but I would not have it be today.” 

She paused, and because Death could not weep, she pushed back her hood and let Night and Day gaze into her eyes, the same eyes that foresaw the lives and deaths of all things. “Do not think that I take pleasure in this. I do not. But the greater the god, the greater the burden. Do as I have asked of you and wait until the end of all things to be reunited.”

Thus were Night and Day parted, though since that day their temples have always been built in pairs, side by side, and their priests and priestesses hold a special ceremony together twice a day, once at dusk and again at dawn. And if Night and Day are lucky, they might exchange a kiss at those times, or a hurried embrace.

It is because of their love that Night and Day do not fear the end of all things as so many of the gods do. For they know that only then shall they be together again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> As I hinted at in the author’s notes for Offering, I’ve actually written a number of snippets casting Team RWBY as gods in various situations. You could, if you wanted, view them as linked although they are also, in some ways, independent of each other. Really, they’re more just variations of a theme. And Ruby is pretty much always Death.
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	77. Help From Above

**Help From Above**

Blake tugged on her hood to make sure it was in place before she walked up the steps of the temple. The scriptures of this particular goddess drew no distinctions between humans and Faunus, but it was better to be safe than sorry. It was the middle of the night, so the temple was all but deserted. It hardly mattered. Only an idiot would try to rob a temple belonging to this goddess.

The last person to try that had ended up a big, messy smear in the middle of the courtyard in front of the temple. Needless to say, there hadn’t been any further attempts. Some gods and goddess adopted a more hands off approach. Not this one. She was, by all accounts, much more into smiting evildoers and raining fire on the wicked.

Blake made her way into the inner sanctum of the temple and knelt in front of the huge fire that filled the centre of the room. It had to be divine in origin. There was no wood or other fuel, and the fire itself formed a perfect sphere some ten feet across. 

“Honoured goddess,” Blake whispered, tossing her offering of sunflowers into the fire. “Please hear my prayers.”

She closed her eyes and waited as custom dictated. 

Ten seconds passed.

Twenty seconds passed.

She bit her lip. Of course. She was cursed. The other gods had never spoken to her before, and she was a fool to think they’d start speaking to her now, even if she needed them now more than ever before. Only one god had ever spoken to her before, and he was the source of her problem.

“Yo.”

Yo?

Blake opened her eyes. A goddess stood before her with hair like golden fire and lilac eyes that seemed like they could see right into her soul.

“Uh…?” The goddess walked over and leaned down to poke Blake on the forehead. “Are you going to talk, or are you just going to kneel there with your mouth hanging open? I mean you look pretty funny like that, but I’m guessing that’s not why you’re here.”

“You… you came!” Blake blurted.

The goddess shrugged. “Meh. It’s a slow night. Not a lot of wars happening either, so I’m not exactly swamped with prayers. But, hey, that’s how it is. Besides, being busy isn’t always a good thing. My sister is busier than you can imagine, and it’s tough. But you know what they say: Death never rests.”

Blake blinked slowly. This was not how she had pictured Yang, the goddess of fire and war. The legends had all spoken of a giantess with golden hair who strode across the bloody battlefields of the world, tearing her enemies limb from limb and bathing in their blood until that same blood had stained her eyes a terrible, bloody red.

“Well? What do you want help with?” Yang asked. “I did come all the way here, so don’t keep me waiting.”

“I want your help –”

“Yes, I know that.”

“There is a very important matter –”

“It must be.”

Blake couldn’t help it. Perhaps it was the pent up stress of her plight, or perhaps it was the shock, but her next words came out as a shout. “Let me finish!”

Yang’s lips curved up into a smirk, and what a wicked smirk it was. Those lilac eyes darkened ever so slightly, a faint tinge of red creeping into them. “Did you just yell at me, mortal?”

Blake paled. “Um…”

Yang threw her head back and laughed. “You’ve got guts. All right. I’ll let you finish. Tell me what the problem is.”

So Blake told Yang what the problem was, and it was complicated.

“So… let me get this straight, you’re being courted by one of the other gods who won’t take no for an answer and you’d rather not have their attention focused on you.” Yang rubbed her chin. “Would you mind telling me who? Because if I’m going to get into a fight for helping you, I’d like to know who I’m going to have to pummel.”

Blake took a deep breath. This was the moment of truth. This was why she’d come to Yang’s temple in particular. “Adam.”

Yang’s smile cracked. “The same Adam that once cut off one of my arms in battle?” As a god, Yang’s physical form was merely a shell for her divine essence, so her arm had grown back. Still, the pain had been very real. “You should have started with that.”

“I… that’s why I came to you for help. I was hoping…”

Yang waved one hand. “He’s not laying one hand on you.” Her eyes gleamed. They were definitely red now. “Although I’m hoping he tries. The… truce the gods agreed upon aeons ago forbids either of us from directly attacking the other. But if he tries to harm someone under my protection, I’ll have an excuse to break that face of his. I’m also looking forward to taking that sword he likes and repaying the favour. I think he’d look good with only one arm or maybe even no arms at all.”

“So… so how is this going to work?” Blake asked. The gods granted favours, but they rarely granted them freely. There was always a price to pay.

“Take off that hood,” Yang murmured. “If Adam was interested in you, he must have had a reason.” Blake pushed her hood back. Yang’s eyes widened ever so slightly. “Well, well, well. You are pretty for a mortal. So pretty I can’t help but wonder if you have a trace of divine blood in you.” Yang pursed her lips. “Actually… Ruby, can you come here?”

The shadows in the room lengthened for a moment and turned blood red before coalescing into the shape of a tall woman with a large scythe. Silver eyes peered out at the world from under a crimson cloak. 

“You called for me, sister.” The goddess’s voice sounded strangely muffled.

“Oh, please.” Yang rolled her eyes. “Can’t you see you’re terrifying the mortal?” Yang reached over and tipped the other goddess’s hood back to reveal that Ruby was in fact chewing on a cookie. “I assume you’re familiar with my sister?”

Blake nodded slowly. Ruby was one of the most feared and revered of the gods. She was the goddess of death. And she was, apparently, eating a cookie. The image was so utterly at odds with everything Blake had been taught that she had to fight not to stare.

“This here is Blake,” Yang said, pointing at Blake. “Can you tell me if she’s got any divine blood in her?”

“She can do that?” Blake squawked.

“Oh, yeah.” Ruby nodded. “I am the goddess of death, but that’s not all I’m in charge of. Things like bloodlines and all that fall under my power too.” She lifted her scythe and pointed it at Blake. Blake yelped and covered her face with her hands. It was said that whatever Crescent Rose was pointed at was instantly killed. “Relax, I’m just going to have a look through your ancestors with Crescent Rose here.”

A strange fog rose up around Blake. She couldn’t see anything, but Ruby didn’t seem to have any difficulty.

“It looks like you’re right,” Ruby replied, smiling. “Her great-great-great-great-something grandmother was a god.”

“Which one?”

“We kind of lost her during the last divine war, so I’d rather not talk about it.” Ruby shuddered. She presided over the dead – all the dead – and that included fallen gods, many of whom had once been her friends. “So… do you need me for anything else, or can I head off? Nora has this big storm brewing off the coast way up north, and I have a feeling I’ll be busy.”

“Don’t tell me she’s smiting more people.”

“Yes, she is.” Ruby sighed. “In her defence, they did try to burn her temple down, so… yeah. Anyway, I’ll see you later.”

Ruby vanished.

Blake let out a breath she didn’t even know she’d been holding. “What… what now?”

“Now?” Yang grinned. “There are precisely two groups that fall under the exclusive protection of gods: family, which includes children, lovers, and spouses, and clergy.”

“So… you… want me to become one of your priestesses?”

“That’s the safest option.” Yang smirked again. “Unless, of course, you’d like to become my lover.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> What’s this? Another update? Yep! Think of this as something to make up for the long break between chapters Chapter 75 and Chapter 76. In much the same way as the previous chapter can be thought of as being related to Offering, this chapter is yet another take on the same idea, except this time Blake isn’t a god.
> 
> If you’re wondering why it took me so long to update after Chapter 75 despite my mighty backlog (and it is mighty), it’s because I was finishing off the proofreading for _Two Necromancers, a Dragon, and a Vampire_ , which is the third part of _The Unconventional Heroes Series_ , which you can find on Amazon (I’m known as L. G. Estrella over on Amazon). So, yeah, that’s what I was doing. If you like my humorous stuff, you should definitely check it out. 
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	78. Summoner

**Summoner**

As an apprentice summoner, Weiss had not been prepared to carry out a complex summoning on her own. However, that hadn’t stopped her from trying, and she was now thoroughly convinced that she was about to join the long list of apprentice summoners who had been eaten/dismembered/mangled by something they’d summoned.

Oops.

It was bad enough that she’d made a mistake while copying the runes onto the floor of her chamber. It was even worse that she’d misread the instructions and used rose water instead of holy water. And it was absolutely terrible that she’d dropped a strawberry and a cookie into the summoning circle too.

Who knew what kind of freakish monstrosity she was going to summon? Knowing her luck, it would be some kind of inter-dimensional nightmare creature that would devour her soul and blow the building up. Even if she somehow survived, she had no doubt whatsoever that Winter would murder her for trying something like this on her own.

The hum of magic in the air grew louder until there was a blinding flash of crimson light. When Weiss could finally see again, she gasped and stumbled back to press herself flat against the far wall of her chamber. She knew whom she’d summoned. Nobody in the world could possibly fail to recognise the tall woman in the blood red cloak who wielded a scythe blacker than the dead of night. The runes and seals on the floor vanished in a haze of silver fire.

Weiss had summoned Death.

“Hmm…” Death noticed the cookie and strawberry on the ground and sighed. “What a waste. But it has been a while since someone summoned me like this.” She ambled over to Weiss. “I’m going to guess that was you.”

“Please, don’t kill me!” Weiss put her hands up. “It was an accident – a total and complete accident.”

“Is that so?” Death cackled evilly. Really, it was a supremely evil cackle. “Do you know what happens to people who meddle with the primal forces of nature, who summon beings so far beyond mortal understanding that trying to grasp what goes through my mind would melt your brain? And do you know what I do to people who summon me accidentally?”

Weiss gulped. “Do… do I want to know?”

“I force them to bribe me with strawberries and baked goods.” Death held her scythe in one hand and used the other to give Weiss a gentle bonk over the head. “Don’t worry. I can tell you weren’t trying to summon me. If I thought for a second that you’d summoned me for evil purposes – you’d be amazed by how common that is – I’d have to smite you. But I can tell this was an honest mistake. So, don’t worry. I won’t be coming for your soul any time soon. But if you know what’s good for you, you’ll make sure you bring a pack of cookies and some strawberries to my temple at least once a week for, I don’t know, the next two months. That should do it.”

“So… you’re not going to claim my soul?” Weiss dared to hope she’d get out of this alive.

“Nope.” Death grinned. “But you might want to practice with your instructors a bit more before you trying another summoning, especially one this complex. Not all of the gods are as nice as I am.” Death laughed. “If you’d summoned Yang, she might have punched you through a wall.”

“Yang?”

“Ah, I guess you mortals know her better by another name: Wrath.”

“Oh.”

“Anyway, keep practicing and, uh, I’ll see you later.” Weiss’s eyes widened, and she somehow managed to turn even paler. Death winced. “A lot later. Like, a lot… later. Yeah.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> This would be the last of the goddess!AU snippets that I currently have on file – I think. Anyway, a lot of people have been asking me if the snippets are all connected. The answer is that I honestly have no idea. I wrote them around a similar theme (Ruby as Death) and kind of just went from there. I suppose you could argue that all of them are related thematically, but you could also, maybe, argue that they are related. I’ll let you guys decide. 
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	79. Ruby and Pokemon Go

**Ruby and Pokemon Go**

“Ruby, do you really think that it’s appropriate for you to be using your Semblance to play Pokemon Go?” Weiss asked.

The dark-haired huntress frowned. “What do you mean, Weiss?”

“Ruby, I’m not blind. I know that you’ve been using your super speed to hit every single pokestop in Vale on a regular basis.” Weiss twitched. “Plus, I’ve noticed a disturbing trend in the missions you’ve been taking recently. Unless I’m mistaken, all of them are in areas renowned for having rare pokemon.”

Ruby’s frown deepened for a moment before she grinned. “Hey, Weiss… how do you know all of my missions are to places that have rare pokemon? Hmm… could you be playing Pokemon Go too?”

Weiss twitched and then drew herself up indignantly. “Ruby, I am the CEO of the Schnee Dust Company. I can assure you that I have far better things to do than –”

Ruby pulled out her scroll and opened Pokemon Go. “Weiss, your office building is a gym. And wouldn’t you know it… the strongest pokemon in the gym belongs to a member of Team Mystic. It’s also an ice pokemon.”

Weiss raised one eyebrow. “And what exactly does that have to do with me?”

“Well, Weiss, the username of the person who owns that pokemon is Myrtenaster.”

“…” Weiss opened her mouth and then closed it.

“Now, maybe that’s just a coincidence.” Ruby smirked. “All you’d have to do is let me take a look at your scroll. If you don’t have Pokemon Go on it, then you’ve got nothing to worry about.”

“I can assure you that there is absolutely no need for that.”

“Okay, Weiss. Sure, whatever you say.” Ruby’s smirk widened. “But it would be a real shame if, say, I attacked this gym with my strongest pokemon and claimed it for Team Valour.”

Weiss made a choking sound.

“And I’d have to do that every time I visited since, you know, it wouldn’t be right to let some horrible person impersonating you take over a gym set in you office building. Can you imagine how evil they must be to do that? I’d be doing you a favour, and –”

“Don’t you dare!” Weiss snapped. “This gym belongs to me – gah!” She clamped her hands over her mouth.

“Heh.” Ruby grinned. “I knew it. Just admit it. You like Pokemon Go as much as I do.”

“Fine. Maybe I do like it… a little.” Weiss huffed. “But it’s not like I play it that much.”

“Weiss, your Lapras is ridiculously powerful. It’s already stronger than mine, and I’ve been powering mine up for weeks.” Ruby tapped the gym and held her scroll up. “Look. It even shows what level you are as a trainer. You’re a higher level than me, Weiss!”

“Hmph. If I’m going to do something, Ruby, I’m going to do it right.” Weiss paused. “Just one thing… is it true that Dragonites appear more frequently in Mistral?”

X X X  
 **  
Omake: Respect  
**  
Winter glared balefully at her scroll. The audacity! Someone had the gall to take over what she considered her gym. And worse, she knew exactly who it was.

Who else would be using a Scyther and calling themselves QrowRules?

And he had to be hacking the game or something. There was no way that a mere Scyther could defeat her Lapras.

“Uh, ma’am,” one of her soldier said. “General Ironwood is calling about a mission…”

“One moment,” Winter replied. “I have some… important business to take care of.”

Yes. She’d teach that fool some respect.

X X X  
 **  
Omake: Competition  
**  
Zwei was not pleased. He was, pun fully intended, the top dog in Ruby’s life – or he had been.

“Isn’t he wonderful, Zwei?” Ruby cooed and showed Zwei her scroll. “Look! He’s just perfect!”

Zwei’s eyes narrowed ominously at the Arcanine that Ruby had recently acquired. It was, apparently, the perfect Arcanine. It had flawless stats, and Ruby was happily using it to rain fiery death on all of the grass type pokemon that had become increasingly popular to put into gyms.

“I wish he was real.” Ruby sighed. “Can you imagine having a real Arcanine?”

Zwei could, and the thought did not make him happy. 

X X X  
 **  
Omake: Pokemon Headmaster  
**  
“What are you doing?” Glynda growled. “Are you playing Pokemon Go?”

Ozpin smiled serenely. “I am simply attempting to better understand something that has become incredibly popular with not only our students but also the wider community.”

“So you’re playing Pokemon Go.”

“Yes.” The headmaster smiled. “Did you that my office is within range of almost a dozen pokestops and three gyms? Given the amount of paperwork I have to do and how frequently pokestops reset, I can accumulate a considerable amount of experience by simply leaving my scroll on while I do my paperwork and getting the pokestops each time they reset.”

Glynda’s glare sharpened. “That… is so unfair. I only have one pokestop within range of my office.”

“Ah, how unfortunate.” Ozpin shrugged. “Perhaps I can consider this another perk of my position.”

“We’re switching offices.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> You had to know this chapter was coming. There’s nothing like a bit of good, friendly competition to get Ruby and Weiss going. Now, what teams do you think everybody would be on? I would argue that Weiss and Ren would be on Team Mystic, Ruby and Jaune would be on Team Valour, and Yang and Nora would be on Team Instinct. Blake and Pyrrha are a little trickier. Where do you think they end up?
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	80. Fun and Games

**Fun and Games**

“Don’t you feel the least bit guilty about this?” Weiss asked.

“Nope.” Yang shook her head and glanced back out the window, tugging gently on the string that kept the box of cookies rolling along the ground, just out of Ruby’s reach.

“You don’t do this to just Ruby, do you?” Weiss was torn between shouting something to Ruby and marvelling at how adorable it was to watch the younger girl chase a box of cookies down the footpath. Honestly, she was tempted to buy her own string and box of cookies.

“Nope.” Yang cackled. Ruby had almost gotten the cookies that time. “I do it to Blake too. Of course, I don’t use cookies. Blake doesn’t like cookies that much.” Yang reached into her pocket and pulled out a laser pointer, twirling it in her hand before putting it back into her pocket. “Works like a charm, especially when she’s tired.”

A horrifying thought occurred to Weiss. “Wait… you don’t do anything like that to me, do you?” Surely, she would have noticed. Surely, Yang wouldn’t have been able to deceive her too. Surely…

Yang’s lips curled. “What do you think, Weiss?”

Weiss grimaced. Saying that she thought Yang did stuff like this to her was the same as admitting that the blonde had outsmarted her, and she refused to admit that. “I guess not.”

“Sure.” Yang smirked. “Just keep telling yourself that.” She laughed. “Hey, look. Ruby got the cookies.”

Weiss covered her face with her hands as the leader of Team RWBY danced around in triumph, holding her newly acquired box of cookies up like a trophy. Ruby didn’t seem to think it was odd that there was a string attached to the box of cookies.

X X X

Weiss felt morally obligated to let Ruby know that she was being deceived. It wasn’t that she wanted to ruin Yang’s fun – although that certainly didn’t hurt – but she couldn’t stand to see Ruby literally strung along. She waited until Yang had departed before she approached Ruby. The blonde had supposedly gone off to study, but she was most likely going off to put her laser pointer to work since Blake had been spending far too much time in the library.

“Ruby, can I talk to you for a second?” Weiss asked.

The heiress winced as Ruby practically skipped over to her with her box of cookies. “What is it, Weiss?”

“Ruby… I think… I think you’re being deceived.”

“What do you mean?” Ruby tilted her head to one side, and it took all of Weiss’s willpower to keep from simply tugging the other girl into her arms. Ruby was so innocent and adorable. Yang had to be some kind of monster to take advantage of Ruby for her own amusement!

“Yang has been playing tricks on you,” Weiss shook her head sadly. “That box of cookies…”

“I know.” Ruby opened the box of cookies and started to munch on one with a sunny smile on her face. “You’re talking about the string, right?”

“…” Weiss gaped. “What? You knew? Then why were you chasing the cookies like… like some kind of… of puppy?” Weiss blurted.

Ruby grinned and reached for another cookie. “Well, it’s simple. If Yang knew that I knew, she’d stop doing it, and I’d stop getting free cookies. Do you know how much money I spend on cookies, Weiss? It’s a lot, and Yang always gets the best cookies.” She shrugged. “It’s a win-win situation. Yang gets to feel all happy since she thinks she’s pranking me, and I get a free box of cookies.”

“Oh.” Weiss was honestly horrified that she hadn’t considered the possibility that her team leader – her very clever team leader – had already worked out what Yang was up to.

“Hey, Weiss, did you really think she was fooling me? I mean… there was a string tied onto the box of cookies.”

“I…” Weiss tried to appear as calm as possible. “I merely wished to ensure that you were aware that it was Yang playing tricks on you, not me or Blake.” She almost wiped her forehead with the back of one hand. Nice save.

“Oh, well, thanks.” Ruby offered Weiss a cookie. “Here, you can have one. But… can you not tell Yang that I know? I’m looking forward to more free cookies.”

“Uh, of course.” Weiss nodded. “If that’s what you want.”

X X X

“Hey, Weiss, want to see something cool?” Ruby asked.

Weiss raised one eyebrow. “Define ‘cool’.”

“I’m going to prank Yang.”

“Very well.” Weiss stopped reading through her textbook and moved over to the window beside Ruby. “What are you going to do?”

“Look.” 

Ruby pointed out the window, and Weiss looked over to find Blake and Yang walking back toward the dorm. The Faunus looked absolutely exhausted. Honestly, Blake needed to take better care of herself. At this rate, the Faunus might pass out during their exams, which would be the very opposite of productive. Hmmm… perhaps Weiss should talk to her. If Blake needed help with some of her classes, she would be more than happy to help her. That was what friends were for, after all.

“What are you going to do, Ruby?”

“I’m going to give Yang a dose of her own medicine.” Ruby snickered evilly.

“How? I’m fairly sure that Yang isn’t obsessed with cookies, and even if she was, I doubt you’d give her yours.”

Ruby clutched her box of cookies to her chest. “Of course not!” She smirked and reached into her pocket… revealing a laser pointer. “But Yang is obsessed with Blake. Watch.”

Ruby carefully aimed the laser pointer out the window. It took a few seconds for Blake to notice it, but their teammate dutifully stumbled after the red dot on the pavement. Yang must not have noticed because a deep frown crossed her face, and she hurried after Blake. To Weiss’s immense amusement, Blake continued to weave across the pavement – followed by Yang, who appeared to believe that Blake was trying to avoid her.

In fact, the blonde grew increasingly irate as Blake ignored whatever she was saying in favour of the red dot on the ground. Finally, Yang had enough. She darted after Blake and gently – but firmly – took hold of the Faunus’s wrist. It was only then that Yang noticed what Blake was staring at. The blonde’s eyes narrowed, and her gaze scanned the dorm building in search of whoever had the audacity to prank Blake and therefore her.

Yang stopped and stared… right at Weiss and Ruby.

“She noticed!” Weiss yelped. “Ruby, what are we going to…” Weiss trailed off. Ruby had ducked underneath the windowsill… after putting the laser pointer in Weiss’s hand. The only person Yang had seen, the person Yang was now certain was responsible for pranking her, the person who was about to get mangled was… Weiss.

“Ruby!” Weiss screeched. “How dare you –”

Ruby vanished in a swirl of rose petals, leaving a laugh and half a cookie.

Scores: 

Ruby: 4 (pranked Yang twice, pranked Blake once, pranked Weiss once)   
Weiss: -1 (got pranked by Ruby)  
Yang: -2 (got pranked by Ruby twice)   
Blake: -1 (got pranked by Ruby)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> Ruby is the leader of Team RWBY for a reason! Yang might be mischievous, but I can see Ruby playing her perfectly since, well, it’s Ruby, and she never mucks about when cookies are involved. As for Weiss, well, she needs to up her pranking game, and Blake would probably do okay if she weren’t so exhausted.
> 
> I’d also like to mention a milestone here and give some thanks. I started posting snippets for this story almost two years ago. At the time, I thought I’d be lucky to get a dozen comments since I wasn’t sure how well a bunch of unconnected snippets would be received. However, the reception from you guys, the readers, has been incredible. This is the first story I’ve had on this site that has ever reached anywhere near 1000 comments (although I'll be honest and admit that about half of them are mine), and it also leads all my stories in hits and bookmarks (Asami the Korrabender actually has a narrow lead over it in kudos, which I think is interesting). So thank you to everyone who has ever left a comment, kudos, or a bookmark. It is very much appreciated. Over on ff.net, this story is the first one I have to receive over 1000 reviews, and it leads all of my stories in follows and favourites, so I'd like to think I'm doing something right. 
> 
> I’ve also had some questions about my original fiction. You can find me on Amazon as L. G. Estrella. I’d recommend starting with _Two Necromancers, a Bureaucrat, and an Elf_ if you’re looking for a fantasy with humour, action, and warmth. It’s the first part of a series. The third part, _Two Necromancers, a Dragon, and a Vampire_ was released earlier this month.
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	81. Just A Can Of Cola

**Just A Can Of Cola**

Weiss looked at the vending machine and then glanced at the money in her wallet. Damn it. The machine didn’t give out change, so unless she planned on buying twenty cans of cola, she was all out of luck. Since she wasn’t Ruby, buying twenty cans of cola was not an option.

She turned to leave and then stopped as she noticed the shimmers of heat in the air and the chirping of cicadas. It was really, really hot, and a can of ice-cold cola sounded wonderful, but she refused to waste that much of her money on soft drinks. It didn’t matter if her family was wealthy, she’d been raised to think carefully before spending money on frivolous things. Overspending to acquire a powerful business competitor was one thing. Overspending to buy cola was quite another.

“Hey, Weiss!”

The heiress turned. Oh. It was Ruby. She made a face. She could ask Ruby if she had change. The girl certainly seemed nice enough, from what little they’d had to do with each other. But… Weiss frowned. She hadn’t exactly been nice to Ruby, had she? Would the other girl even be willing to help her out? Weiss certainly wouldn’t have if their roles had been reversed. What should she do? Perhaps she could make a bargain with Ruby, so quid pro quo…

Ruby walked up to the vending machine, put some money into it and then held up two cans of cola. She smiled at Weiss. “Want one?” 

Weiss blinked – she’d been halfway through concocting some suitably clever scheme. “Huh?”

A light blush coloured Ruby’s cheeks. “Well… I kind of noticed you while I was walking over to the vending machine. You looked like you really wanted one, and it’s really hot, but you didn’t end up buying one.” She shrugged. “I had exactly enough change for two, so I thought I’d get you one too.”

“Oh.” Weiss studied Ruby intently. Was this a peace offering, an attempt to win her over? Was it a trick? Was it…? No. She almost laughed. Ruby wasn’t like that. Even if she hadn’t known her long, she could see that. Ruby meant exactly what she said. She reached out and took one of the cans. “Thank you.”

“Ah, it’s no biggie.” Ruby laughed. “It’s just a can of cola. Plus, it would be kind of weird if I let my teammate die of thirst while I bought a can of cola.”

“I suppose it would.” Weiss’s lips twitched. “I’ll pay you back later.”

“You don’t have to.” Another shy smile crossed Ruby’s lips. “It’s just a can of cola.”

“Just a can of cola?” Weiss stared at the can in her hand. It was more than that. She couldn’t remember the last time that someone outside her family had bought her something without expecting something else in return. That was just how it was. She was the heiress of the Schnee Dust Company, and people were only ever nice to her because they wanted something. But Ruby wasn’t like that, was she? She gave Ruby a haughty smile. “It may be just a can of cola, but as a Schnee, I can hardly allow myself to be in your debt.”

“Well, okay.” Ruby took a sip of her cola. “How about we head to the cafeteria? I’m supposed to meet Blake and Yang about some stuff that we covered in class today.”

“Thinking of studying?” Weiss opened her can of cola. “A wise decision.” She took a sip. It tasted lovely. “Let’s go.”

X X X

Omake: Vending Machine Battle

“Uh…” Jaune gaped. “Are you okay there?”

“I’m fine.” Yang put on her most confident smile. It was a very confident smile indeed, especially since she currently had one arm stuck inside a vending machine.

“Really? Because you don’t look fine. You look like you’ve got your arm stuck in a vending machine.”

Yang sagged. “The damn thing ate my money, so I thought I’d try to pry a can of cola out.”

“And that’s when your arm got stuck?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay… let me help.” Jaune knelt beside Yang and reached up into the machine. “I’ll just get your arm out of there and…”

“Jaune?”

“…”

“Jaune?” Yang growled. “What happened?”

“My arm,” Jaune said slowly. “I think it’s stuck.”

Fifteen minutes later.

“This is not working.” Yang now had both of her arms stuck inside the machine, as did Jaune.

“Maybe we should call for help,” Jaune said. “I mean… I don’t want to be stuck here all day.”

“No way. I am not getting caught like this.” Yang took a deep breath. “Brace yourself. I think I can kick this thing apart.”

“Don’t!” Jaune flailed around. “If you do that, you’ll break it. I cannot afford to spend what money I have on repairing this thing or buying a new one.”

“Then what do you suggest?” Yang winced. Her arms were starting to get sore. “It’s not like someone is just going to walk up and magically get our arms out of the machine and get me my cola.”

Five seconds later that was exactly what happened.

Pyrrha smiled gently. “Are you two all right?”

Jaune and Yang nodded silently.

And with that, Pyrrha walked off to class.

Yang took a long sip of her cola. “You know… she is totally awesome.”

“Yeah. I guess her Semblance really does come in handy.” Jaune rubbed his arms.

“Hey.” Yang’s eyes gleamed. “If we asked her, do you think she would mind getting us more free cola from the vending machines around here?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> Over on my tumblr, I occasionally throw the floor open from prompts and suggestions. This chapter is based on the following prompt: You asked for snippet prompts. This is a short one but…Weiss vs the Vending Machine. Obviously this is set somewhere pretty early in Ruby/Weiss’s partnership but Weiss wants a drink/candy from the machine but all her cash is in to high denotations. As this is me (and you are you) Ruby saves the day with her normal amount of money.
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	82. Weapons R & D

**Weapons R & D**

One of the less well-known departments of the Schnee Dust Company was Weapons Research and Development. Given how nervous some members of the public already were about the company’s dominance of the Dust market, the last thing her family needed was to publicise the fact that they were, in fact, developing weapons. It didn’t help that most of the people in that department were, to put it bluntly, very eccentric. That is to say, most of them were borderline insane.

Naturally, that was also the first department Ruby had decided to visit in a bid to learn more about her fiancée’s company.

Weiss had been worried to begin with, but her worries had only increased after Ruby had spent an entire week with Weapons Development and Research. The younger woman had yet to say a single word about what she’d been doing, but the sunny smile on Ruby’s face was beyond terrifying. Ruby was a weapons nut, and Weiss had let her loose in one of the most well-funded weapons development centres in the entire world.

What had she been thinking?

But today, Weiss was going to find out what Ruby had come up with. She wasn’t sure whether she should run for her life or put a smile on her face. She decided to do the latter while keeping the former very much at the forefront of her mind, especially when she found out they wouldn’t be meeting at the research centre. No, Ruby had invited her to the enormous field that served as the testing ground for new weapons.

“Weiss!” Ruby waved and then reappeared at Weiss’s side before grabbing her and practically teleporting them over to the large object covered in a tarpaulin. “I’m so glad you’re here. I’ve been dying to try this baby out!”

Beside Ruby, the members of Weapons Research and Development wore looks of bliss. Weiss shuddered. That could not possibly be a good sign.

“So…” Weiss said. “What are you going to show me today?”

Ruby nodded sagely. “Show her, guys!”

They ripped the tarpaulin off.

“…” Weiss stared. There was a large… gun… thing there. It was roughly the size of a bus. “What is that?”

“Well…” Ruby took a deep breath. “It’s a rail gun.”

“A rail gun?” Weiss twitched. “You built a rail gun in one week?”

“Yep.” Ruby smiled. “Well, I didn’t build it alone.” She nodded at the people behind her. “I couldn’t have done it without them.” She clapped her hands. “So, let’s give them a big round of applause.”

Weiss clapped politely. This was not going to end well. “Wait… but how did you even build a rail gun?” Weiss wasn’t quite the weapons nut that Ruby was, but she knew what a rail gun was. She was also passingly familiar with the engineering problems involved too.

Ruby blushed. “This isn’t the first time I’ve tried. The main problems are generating the necessary current and dealing with the damage to the gun itself. Just generating the current requires a huge amount of electricity, way more than would be practical in something the size of Crescent Rose. And even if you get a rail gun to work, the forces involved are huge. You’re basically damaging the rails every time you fire, and then there are all of the heating effects…” Ruby made a face. “The only time I got a rail gun to work was when I kind of… kidnapped Pyrrha and got her to use her Semblance.”

“You did what?” Weiss yelled.

“I may – at some point – have kidnaped Pyrrha to test out a few ideas.” Ruby held up her hands. “But it was totally okay. I bought her lunch and everything afterward, and some of those ideas ended up being really handy when we were building Lightning Rose.”

“Lightning Rose?” One of these days, Ruby was going to give her a heart attack. Weiss was sure of it.

“That’s the name of my new baby!” Ruby patted the rail gun. “I call her Lightning Rose because of all the electricity she needs.”

“I see.”

“And you know what they say about lightning. You see a flash and then… BOOM!” Ruby cackled, as did the other members of Weapons Research and Development. It was a synchronised cackle, which only added to the horror.

“So, how does this thing work then?” Weiss asked.

“Basically, we’re using highly catalysed Dust in conjunction with a generator that they threw together for another project to generate the current we need. It’s a bit dicey, but it works. We’re also using a superconducting material reinforced with titanium and some other things for the rails, and we’re using more Dust plus an advanced cooling system to handle the heat.” Ruby smirked. “We’ve also built in a rotary barrel system. Lightning Rose has six barrels, arranged like the chambers of a revolver, each one holding a functioning set of rails. It’s the only way we can stop the rails from being destroyed by the heat and stress of repeated firing.

There were times when Weiss forgot that Ruby wasn’t just a prodigy with a scythe. She was an absolute genius at weapons design and manufacture. “And it works?”

“Yeah.” Ruby gestured at the opposite end of the field, which happened to face the ocean. “We’re going to hit that.”

“What? I can’t see anything.”

“Well, yeah. Anything in the field is too close. We’re aiming for something about 100 miles away. We’re hoping to get that distance up to 250 miles in the future. I mean, yeah, we can shoot this thing a lot further than that, but 100 miles is about our limit when it comes to putting a shot exactly where we want it.” Ruby pulled out a scroll. “Here. We’ve got an observation boat watching the target.”

The target in question was actually a fleet of rickety, old ships that had re-designed to look like large Grimm. Weiss pursed her lips. No wonder Ruby had asked her if they had any ships scheduled for decommissioning.

“So how do you plan to aim at things that far away?” Weiss asked.

“We’ve got Lightning Rose hooked up to an automated targeting system that uses radar and laser-guidance from aerial drones to help calibrate its aim.” Ruby gave Weiss a thumb’s up. “Ready?”

“I guess so.”

“Hear that, guys?” Ruby grinned. “Fire when ready!”

A few seconds later, Lightning Rose fired. The sonic boom of the projectile leaving the weapon would have knocked Weiss off her feet if Ruby hadn’t caught her. Less than half a minute later, one of the ships simply ceased to exist.

“Direct hit!” Ruby cheered. “Keep firing! Put her through her paces!”

X X X

Weiss rubbed her temple. Her father had been utterly amazed when he’d seen Ruby’s design for a rail gun that actually worked and didn’t require Pyrrha. It would, he was certain, prove very useful against some of the gigantic Grimm that had proven to be largely impervious to conventional weaponry.

A knock on the door drew her attention from the documents she was reviewing. Assuming that they made it to mass production, they would have to be very, very careful about whom they sold rail guns to. The last thing they needed was the White Fang getting their hands on that kind of technology.

“Come in,” Weiss said.

The door opened. It was the head of Weapons Research and Development.

“Good evening, ma’am.”

Weiss inclined her head. “Good evening. Have a seat.”

“No, it’s okay.” The engineer was rubbing his hands together nervously. “It’s just… thank you for letting Ms Rose spent time with our department. I hope she continues to visit in the future.”

“I’m sure she will.” Weiss smiled. “She certainly enjoyed her time there. She only had good things to say about you and rest of your staff.”

“Also…” The engineer made a face. “I know it’s probably not my place to say this… but… on behalf of Weapons Research and Development…” He bowed. “We wish you and Ms Rose a long and happy marriage!”

Disbelief filled Weiss. What? Finally she managed to find her voice again. “I see… uh… thank you.”

The engineer straightened. “Please, ma’am, remember the key to a successful marriage is love! Let Ruby do what she loves! Let her spend more time with Weapons Research and Development!”

So that was what he wanted? Weiss’s jaw clenched. “Thank you… now get out.”

“Yes, ma’am!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> Like the previous chapter, this one is based on a prompt (I do accept them from time to time on my Tumblr). If you’re worried that I’m running low on chapters, don’t be. This particular chapter is from last October. That is how mighty the backlog is. Anyway, you just know that the Weapons R & D people would love Ruby. And Pyrrha? Who doesn’t love a walking rail gun? Ruby certainly does.
> 
> This snippet is based on the following prompt: You asked for prompts so here is one that might be a bit of fun. Weiss has to try and rescue her fiancée (ruby) from the weapons engineers that work for her company after she introduces her to them. On the plus side, Weiss now has the unwavering support of those guys for her new fiancée after being introduced to Weapons!Nerd!Ruby and some of the suggestions/idea’s she made.
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	83. Part-Time Job

**Part-Time Job**

A little known fact about Beacon was that students at the academy were allowed to take part-time jobs to help make ends meet. After all, attendance was expensive, and students didn’t have the freedom to go on as many missions as fully fledged huntsmen and huntresses did. 

Naturally, the subject of part-time work was not something that all students considered. Some students – including a certain member of Team RWBY – were sufficiently wealthy that the issue never came up. Others, like a certain famous redhead from Team JNPR, had the backing of sponsors to rely on. Of course, knowing that someone had a part-time job and actually seeing them working were two very different things.

X X X

Weiss stared.

And then she stared some more.

And then – because, really, how couldn’t she? – she stared even more.

Ruby had mentioned that she worked at a café to help pay for her tuition. Weiss had offered to help, but the younger girl had stubbornly refused her offers of assistance, as had Yang and Blake. Weiss had considered pushing the matter, but she knew how much pride her teammates had. If they didn’t want help, the last thing she wanted to do was to force it on them. Not only would they resent her for it but she also doubted if they would ever forgive her.

So, she’d done what she could: she paid for their meals whenever the team went out; she prepared extensive lecture and exam notes, so they wouldn’t miss out on any important details if they slept in and missed one of their classes; and she privately approached some of their instructors to ask for a bit of extra time on assignment and projects when her teammates were busy with work. It wasn’t much, but it was all they would let her do.

Only recently had it occurred to her that she’d never actually visited the café were Ruby worked, which also seemed to be the same café where Yang and Blake worked. What kind of teammate was she? She ought to go there immediately to lend whatever moral support she could. And if she gave them a bigger tip than was strictly necessary, well, that was simply a coincidence.

Weiss was pleased to discover that the café was in one of the better parts of the city. In fact, it seemed to be a perfectly trendy and respectable establishment from the outside. The inside was also reassuring. There was tasteful antique furniture, polished wooden floors, and finely crafted cutlery and crockery. Light conversation filled the air, along with the smells of coffee and cake. Weiss smiled. She could get used to a place like this…

“Please, follow me, ma’am. We have a table near the window – Weiss?”

Weiss was jerked out of her reverie. Ruby was standing in front of her… in a maid outfit. Her mind ground to a screeching halt. Ruby. Maid. Outfit.

Ruby.

Maid.

Outfit.

Weiss was dimly aware of the fact that she was staring, but she couldn’t bring herself to care. It wasn’t the first time that Weiss had seen someone in a maid outfit – she’d had maids growing up – but there was something distinctly… different about seeing Ruby in one. Whether it was the rosy blush on the other girl’s cheeks or the fact that she’d never seen Ruby wearing something like this, but Weiss couldn’t stop staring.

It should have been criminal for anyone to look so adorable in a maid outfit. Ruby even had a matching headband. But a traitorous part of Weiss’s mind calmly pointed out that as adorable as Ruby looked now, she would look decidedly different in a few years once she started to get taller and fill out. Weiss had to cover her face with her hands at the sudden mental image of an older, more mature Ruby in a maid outfit just waiting to obey her every command…

Damn. Weiss took a deep breath to calm herself. She was such a pervert.

“Uh… Weiss?”

Weiss steeled herself. She could tell how nervous Ruby was. Perhaps it would be best if she simply played along. “Ah, yes, um… the table by the window would be fine. Thank you.”

Ruby breathed a sigh of relief, and Weiss congratulated herself on a job well done. Clearly, Ruby was more comfortable treating her like a normal customer. Ruby led Weiss over to her table, and the heiress ordered some coffee and cake as she studied the rest of the café in more detail.

She caught a flash of blonde hair and blinked. Was that… Jaune? Sure enough, the blond leader of Team JNPR was there… dressed as a butler. And in probably the least surprising twist ever, he was bringing some coffee and cake over to Pyrrha, who seemed to be more interested in Jaune and his outfit than the food and drink he was bringing her.

“It’s about time you dropped by.”

Weiss stared again. “Yang? You’re… you’re dressed as a butler.”

“Oh?” The blonde smirked and struck a pose. “Were you hoping to see me dressed up as a maid? Well, sorry to break it to you, but they let us choose which outfit to wear. Me? I went with the butler outfit. You never know when you might have to punch someone through a wall.”

“You look…” Weiss trailed off. “Good.”

And Yang did. In fact, Yang looked very good, as in, really, really good. And now Weiss was wondering what Ruby would look like in a butler outfit, and had her mind always been this pathetic? Apparently so.

“Thanks.” Yang’s smirk widened. “But you should see Blake.” She lowered her voice to a whisper. “She’s the best part of working this job.” Yang pointed. “Over there.”

Weiss looked over. Oh. Blake was in a maid outfit. And what had looked utterly adorable on Ruby looked, well, utterly delectable on Blake… and now her mind was headed right back into the gutter.

“I know what you’re thinking,” Yang taunted. “But, hey, I’m thinking the same thing too, so I can’t really complain.” She chuckled. “Anyway, I’m here to give you this.” Yang put a plate of cookies on the table. “It’s on the house.”

“Oh?” Weiss raised one eyebrow.

“Weiss, you’re kind of famous, you know. The manager would be very happy if the heiress to the Schnee Dust Company became a regular patron.”

“I see.” Weiss nodded. “Would it make your jobs easier?”

Yang grinned. “It would definitely help.”

“Then I’ll come in as often as I can,” Weiss promised. “You know, to… help you out.”

Yang snickered. “Yeah, I’m sure that’s why.” She nodded. “Anyway, I’ve got to go, and look… Ruby is coming back.”

Ruby came back with Weiss’s order.

“Is there anything else you would like ma’am?” Ruby asked with a small bow.

Weiss could think of a lot of things she’d like, but she wisely opted to ask for another slice of cake instead.

X X X  
 **  
Omake: Sisters Think Alike  
**  
Weiss was reading through a newspaper at the café when she noticed someone very familiar come in. That someone took a table not far away and then proceeded to spend most of her time ogling Blake and Yang. Weiss’s eye twitched, and she got to her feet and made her way over to the intruder’s table.

“Winter.”

Winter Schnee froze mid-ogle. Her mouth opened and closed several times. Finally, she decided to go with what seemed best. “There is a perfectly good explanation for this, Weiss.”

Weiss rolled her eyes. “Stop ogling my teammates.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> Did someone say maid café? But seriously, I’m amazed it’s taken me this long to get a chapter like this posted. That said, I’m all for equal opportunity. As much as Weiss is there to ogle Ruby, Pyrrha is there to ogle Jaune. Who knows… maybe some of the villains might even show up. Neo might even find herself working there to spy on the good guys, along with Emerald and Mercury (I doubt anyone could convince Cinder to work there). As for Ren and Nora… somehow I can see them working in the kitchen: Chef Ren and his faithful second-in-command Chef Nora.
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	84. The Servant

**The Servant**

“I cannot believe that you are using your Semblance for something so… so trivial!”

Winter smiled at her younger sister’s indignation. Really, teasing Weiss never ceased to amuse her, and her younger sister was so adorable when she got mad. It was like being threatened by a kitten. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You’re using a Beowolf to bring you tea and scones!” Weiss jabbed one finger at the large, white Beowolf that was currently walking toward them with a tray of freshly made scones.

“Weiss, I am simply using my Semblance like this to develop a finer level of control over my summon. It is one thing to simply command my summon to attack some ruffian or miscreant. It is quite another to command it do something requiring a much finer level of control.” Winter lifted her plate, and a pair of scones was neatly deposited onto it. She raised her eyebrow, and the Beowolf turned its attention to her empty teacup. A moment later, the cup was full of freshly brewed tea. “Mere destruction is the mark of a novice, Weiss. Control is what makes a master.”

“You’re really, really lazy, aren’t you?” Weiss didn’t believe her sister for one moment. 

“If you think it is so easy,” Winter replied, waving her Beowolf over, so it could butter her scones and stir her tea. “Why don’t you ask your summon to make you tea and scones?”

“Maybe I will,” Weiss had only recently managed to summon that giant suit of armour, and she was feeling rather proud of herself. Having it make her some tea and scones couldn’t be that difficult, could it?

X X X

“What did you do?” Weiss wailed.

The giant suit of armour stood in the middle of a ruined kitchen. Half-finished scones were scattered all over the place, along with liberal quantities of what she assumed was supposed to be tea. It also looked like it had tried to butter the half-finished scones with its sword.

“It appears that your control requires more work, Weiss.” Winter smiled sunnily as her Beowolf ambled toward her with another perfectly brewed cup of tea. “Don’t you think?”

Weiss’s eye twitched. “Maybe.”

X X X  
 **  
Omake: Want To Hear A Joke?  
**  
What is Yang’s least favourite flavour of ice cream?

Neopolitan – because it tastes like a kick to the face!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> I have a feeling that Winter is exactly the sort of person who would use her summon to make things easier for her. Of course, a giant suit of armour might be handy on the battlefield, but it’s going to be cumbersome in the kitchen. And about that joke… I’ve been holding onto that one for almost a year now, and it’s not something that should get its own chapter, so I kind of just slipped it in. Don’t worry, folks, I’ll be here all night.
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	85. A Hero's Death

**A Hero’s Death**

Jaune Arc, greatest of mortal heroes, was dying. No monster or warrior had defeated him. Instead, it was time, the one foe that no mortal could overcome. He was an old man now, and he was waiting for the one fate that awaited all old men. He was waiting for Death.

He did not wait alone.

His children were all waiting outside his bedroom, for he had permitted only one other to be beside him in his final hours. Pyrrha, Goddess of Victory and Righteous Battle, was the mother of his children and the love of his life. She had taken a poor, untrained boy and helped him to become a living a legend.

And now, Pyrrha waited. She waited for Death to arrive. And she waited with her sword in one hand and her shield in the other. On the bed, Jaune slept the sleep of an old, weary mortal.

For Jaune, Pyrrha would dare the impossible. For Jaune, she would fight Death.

Pyrrha knew that Death was close when her children gave a great cry that echoed through the house. They were demigods and legends in their own right, and their divine blood let them see what others could not. They could see Death coming for their father, and they would not let Death have him so easily.

But scarcely a moment passed before stillness and silence once again reigned over the house. The door of the bedroom trembled. Pyrrha had barred entry into the room with every magic and power she could muster. Not even another god of war could have broken into it so easily. Yet the door swung open as if by its own accord. Pyrrha’s brows furrowed. It was true then. No door could bar Death’s passage, not when Death had command of the greatest door of all: the Gate of the Dead that separated the realms of the living and the dead.

A chill swept through the room, and the candles wavered though no breeze stirred the air. A vast, bloody shadow swirled in the doorway. There, at last, was Death. Her blood-red cloak moved as if alive, and her scythe, as dark as the dead of night, drank in the candlelight and plunged the room into an eerie twilight.

Death raised her head, and Pyrrha found herself staring into silver eyes that seemed to see everything she was and ever could be with but a single glance. Then Death’s gaze shifted to Jaune.

“You cannot have him!” Pyrrha snarled. Her divine power flooded into the room, and her armour blazed as though wrought of fire and starlight. Her sword became a spear, its point so sharp it could pierce the very fabric of reality itself. Her shield trembled in her grasp, a shining, gleaming mirror that could reflect any attack upon it. “Take even one step closer and –”

“And what?” Death murmured. “You are powerful, Pyrrha, Goddes of Victory and Righteous Battle. Even amongst the gods of war, there are few who could claim to be your equal, and none who can truly say that they are your better. But I am no mere god of war. I am Death, and even gods can die.”

Pyrrha’s power blazed brighter still, a sun to beat back the chill and darkness that came with Death. “I have fought a thousand gods, Death, and never lost. Do you truly think that I will give up my beloved without a fight?”

“How brave you are,” Death replied, and Pyrrha could almost have sworn that there was true sorrow in her voice. “Braver even than your children.” Pyrrha’s eyes narrowed – she had heard nothing from them since they had fallen silent – but Death spoke swiftly. “You need not fear for them. They are merely unconscious. It is not their time yet. I would have passed them by entirely, yet I knew they would never forgive themselves if they did not at least try to stop me.”

Pyrrha swallowed thickly. Her and Jaune’s children were demigods, but they were amongst the mightiest of the half-gods that walked the mortal world. To have defeated all of them so quickly… Death’s prowess was terrible indeed. “Even so, you shall not pass.”

“You cannot stop me.” Death lifted her scythe, and Pyrrha tensed, anticipating an attack. Death attacked – but not in any manner that Pyrrha had anticipated. As the scythe drew to a stop, the shaft level with Pyrrha’s chest, the red-haired goddess collapsed to her knees. Her strength fled from her, and she felt as though the whole weight of the world were pressing down on her. Her spear clattered from her grasp, followed shortly by her shield, and a second later, she was sprawled face down on the floor.

As she fought to stand once more, Pyrrha sensed Death walk past her and sit on the edge of Jaune’s bed.

“Don’t!” Pyrrha wailed unable to so much as raise her head from the floor. “Please! No! Stop!”

“It is his time,” Death replied. “And there are laws that not even we can break, Pyrrha.”

“Please…” Pyrrha wept and clawed at the floor. “We were friends once when we were but young gods. Please, for the friendship we once shared, spare him. Please, Ruby! Please!”

“I cannot spare him.” Death’s power eased a fraction, and Pyrrha found herself able to look up into the other goddess’s eyes. “But for the friendship we once shared, I can promise you two things.”

“What?”

“His passing will be swift and gentle. He is still asleep, Pyrrha, and he will not wake again before he passes. Instead, he will dream of his youth and the days you spent together in happiness. He will pass peacefully and go to the blessed fields and noble halls that await great heroes of renown.”

“And I will never see him again after he enters those halls! I will never walk with him through those fields!”

“No, you will not.” Death’s eyes glazed as though she were seeing something far away in space and time. “But when the Last Battle comes, the gods will not fight the darkness alone. Instead, the Gate of the Dead will open for the first time, and all the heroes and legends of the past shall stream forth to do battle once more. Jaune shall be the leader of the mortal heroes, and he will be as he was in his prime. You will fight the Last Battle side by side, Pyrrha.”

“I would gladly lay down my sword, my spear, and my shield forever for him. Please, do not take him. What is glory to me if he is gone?”

Death shook her head sadly. “Remember well my words, Pyrrha, and do not despair. For if the night and day cannot be together until the Last Battle, then you too must wait.” A lone tear trickled down Death’s cheek. “And you are not the only one waiting. Even Death’s chosen must die, and I will not see her again until you see Jaune.”

Gently, so gently, Death laid one hand upon Jaune’s brow. Then she was gone and so was Jaune.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> Well, here’s another snippet set in one of the vaguely defined god!AUs that I’ve already posted. This one is somewhat melancholy in tone, largely due to the subject matter that it covers. Pyrrha’s decision to fall in love with a mortal results in a doomed love that is, in some respects, a mirror to what happens on the show (except she’s not the one dying this time around). Ruby’s duty weighs particularly heavily on her here. Ruby’s comment at the end suggests that this is set in the same AU as Offering, albeit well after that snippet has occurred.
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	86. Bureaucratic Bungle

**Bureaucratic Bungle**

“You!” Weiss – goddess of bureaucrats and mega corporations – appeared in a blaze of divine glory and stomped toward Death. “What do you have to say for yourself?”

Death stopped eating her cookie and took a sip of her milk before she deigned to reply. The goddess of bureaucrats and mega corporations was feared throughout the divine world for her, well, complete and utter mastery of bureaucracy and corporate skulduggery. She, however, was Death. The only two constants in life were death and taxes, and not even tax collectors could escape her.

“Yes, Weiss?”

Weiss didn’t bother to reply. Instead, she grabbed Death by the scruff of her blood-red cloak and lifted her into the air. “What are you doing?”

Death smiled sunnily. Most people would have felt threatened by a goddess shaking them around like a rag doll. Death was no mere goddess. She was a conceptual entity, the living incarnation of a primordial concept as old as Creation itself. There were, maybe, half a dozen other gods who could fight her on anything even approaching equal terms. Weiss was not one of them, but Death decided to humour her anyway. Weiss was always sexiest when she was mad.

“What do you mean?”

“You can’t go on holiday!” Weiss wailed. “Do you have any idea what sort of chaos you’ve caused in the mortal world? I’m receiving thousands of prayers every second from bureaucrats who have no idea how to handle people who aren’t dying!” Weiss snarled. “And don’t even get me started on the poor bureaucrats who’ve been trying to come up with the appropriate forms for people who should be dead but aren’t! What exactly are we supposed to call them?”

“Technically,” Ruby pointed out in her most reasonable tone of voice. “I am entitled to a certain amount of holiday each aeon.” She raised one hand and a book appeared. “I mean… that’s what it says here, right?” She opened the book to the appropriate page and held it up, so Weiss could see it. “And it’s not like this book could be wrong since you’re the one who wrote it, Weiss. Unless, of course, you made a mistake.”

Weiss’s eye twitched. “I don’t make mistakes.” She dropped Death and grabbed the book. “Let me see that.” A minute later, she rounded on Death. “It also says that you’re supposed to ensure that essential deaths are taken care of.”

“And they are being taken care of,” Death replied. “All those who are suffering and for whom death would be a release are indeed still being taken to my realm. You can check if you like, but we both know I wouldn’t lie about something like this.” Death took her responsibilities very seriously, and she wasn’t about to let people for whom death would be a positive suffer unnecessarily. “As for the others, I’m entitled to a holiday of no longer than three days each aeon. If things get really bad, you’re always welcome to borrow my scythe and handle things yourself.”

Weiss recoiled. “I’d rather not.”

Death giggled. Weiss could be so funny sometimes. “Weiss, you’re not going to die just because you touch my scythe, not unless I want you to. I am Death. It’s my power that kills things, not my scythe’s. Crescent Rose is simply a physical manifestation of that side of my powers that I use to make my life easier.” She paused. “Plus, giant scythes are cool.”

“Ruby…” Weiss murmured, using Death’s name. “I am not going to touch Crescent Rose. That would be like… touching you.”

“Weiss, unless my memory is mistaken – which it isn’t since I’m Death and Death never forgets – I’m fairly sure that you have touched me in the past, like, a lot.” Death snickered at Weiss’s blush. “But, look, it’s already been almost two days. My holiday is almost done. I promise I’ll work extra hard to get everything under control once it’s done.”

Weiss nod firmly. “You’d better. You might be Death, but it’s bureaucrats and mega corporations that have to handle the mess you leave behind.” She turned to leave and then stopped. “Oh, and Nora is not happy. She’s been smiting people all day, and none of them are actually dying.”

Death chuckled. “I’d lend her my scythe, but there might not any people left to smite in a day or two.”

“Nora can be overenthusiastic.” Weiss scowled. “She’s one of the only people who creates more paperwork than you. Do you know how long it took some of my favourite bureaucrats to handle the paperwork after she sank that damn island of blasphemers?”

“You mean Atlantis?” Death asked.

“Yes, Atlantis. It’s been thousands of year, and we’re still cleaning up the mess.”

Death shrugged. “Well, you can’t blame me for that one although everybody sort of does anyway. Remember that plague? They called it the Black Death as if I was the one who came up with it. Oh no, that was all Salem.” She tilted her head to one side. “Hey, Weiss, you haven’t taken a break in a while, have you?”

Weiss frowned. “I am the goddess of bureaucrats and mega corporations. Breaks aren’t my style.”

Ruby darted forward and gleefully grabbed Weiss’s wrist. “Come on, then. We’re spending the last day of my holiday together!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> How’s that for a change of mood? This snippet is clearly set in a different AU than the others since it references events in the real world (somehow, I find the idea of mega corporations venerating Weiss to be inordinately amusing). Death here is a lot more carefree, and there is also mention of what Nora is up to. Has a volcano exploded? Did an avalanche crush a bad guy? Nora did it. Now, I’ve got a couple more snippets in the god!AU vein lined up, but I’m still thinking about whether to simply add them after these two or space them out a bit more. Hmm…
> 
> Anyway, if you’re reading this chapter, check to make sure you that you’ve read the one before it since this is a double update. Incidentally, if you’ve enjoyed my fan fiction, you might want to check out my original fiction on Amazon. I go by L. G. Estrella over there, and you can expect to find a lot of fun, humour, warmth, action, and adventure in my original stories too. I recommend starting with _Two Necromancers, a Bureaucrat, and an Elf_.
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	87. Border Crossing

**Border Crossing**

Yang marched through the forest with the same certainty that she did everything else. She shouldn’t have. She’d scarcely gotten more than a few steps past the lightly wooded borders of the forest before she found herself hanging upside down from a snare.

“You humans,” a voice murmured. “Walk so loudly that I could shoot you in the dark.”

Yang smirked. “And you Faunus… can see perfectly well in the dark, so it shouldn’t even be that hard for you.”

Blake eased out of the shadows and stopped in front of Yang. She did her best to look stern, but she couldn’t quite keep a small smile from tugging at the corners of her lips. “You need to stop coming here, Yang.”

“Yeah, yeah.” The knight gestured at the snare. “Mind cutting me down – oof!” Yang hit the ground with a thump and got back to her feet with a scowl. “Really? You couldn’t have cut me down a little more nicely?”

“No.” Blake ignored Yang’s outraged expression. “Yang, I meant what I said. I don’t mind you coming into the forest, but not all of the others are going to be as welcoming. Faunus… Faunus and humans don’t always get along so well.”

Yang sighed. Blake was right. The human kingdoms had once ruled over the Faunus, but times had changed. Centuries ago, the Faunus had fought for and won their independence. They had then retreated into the deep, untamed forests and rugged mountains where their natural advantages ensured their continued safety and freedom.

It was now illegal to keep Faunus as slaves in most kingdoms, but the enmity from those ancient days had yet to fade. Yang had only met Blake because she’d gotten lost in the forest, which bordered the wide, open plains of her homeland. Blake had been kind enough to guide her out, and Yang had made a point of visiting every now and then.

Besides, they helped each other out. Yang passed on word about patrols and scouts, and Blake made sure that none of her fellows did anything as foolish as launching a raid on a border village. In a world where backroom deals and bribery were commonplace, it was an easy bargain to make.

“Why are you here, Yang?” Blake asked. The Faunus closed her eyes for a moment, listening, and then opened them again. Yang didn’t question her. Blake’s senses were unbelievably keen, even for a Faunus. If they were discovered it would most likely go poorly for Blake and even worse for Yang. Given the stance many of Blake’s fellows held, Yang would probably end up hanging from the nearest tree.

“Well, you said that you guys were having a tough time getting ready for winter, right?” Yang reached into a pouch she’d brought with her. “I thought that maybe you could use these.”

Blake stared at the gemstones in Yang’s hand. “Are those…?”

“Fire stones, yeah. My sister knows a mage. She’s always working on things, and she doesn’t need these ones anymore.”

“You know someone who doesn’t mind giving away a dozen fire stones?” Blake raised one eyebrow. Fire stones could be used to contain fire magic although exactly which magic depended on the mage who’d made them and the mage who was using them. More importantly, however, they radiated heat and warmth until their magic was exhausted, which made them very useful during winter. A single high-quality fire stone could keep an entire family warm during winter. Yang had brought a dozen such stones with her. “And you’re just going to give these to me?”

“Let’s just say that the mage my sister knows isn’t interested in keeping these around. She’s good enough that she can make her own fire stones. These were just for practice, and she definitely doesn’t need the money. I mean, sure, these are pretty good, but the ones she kept are just about flawless.”

Now, Blake was truly surprised. Gem magic – the magic used to create gemstones that could contain magic – was rare indeed. Whoever Yang’s sister knew must be very wealthy and extremely powerful. “Yang…” Yang could easily have sold these for money. Most other people would have, and Blake wouldn’t have blamed them. A dozen high-quality fire stones would fetch a fine price indeed.

“I don’t need them,” Yang said firmly. “I’m a knight. I get paid plenty. My sister… well, she’s not a knight, but she gets paid plenty too.” Yang trusted Blake, but she wasn’t about to tell the Faunus that Ruby was one of the princess’s personal bodyguard and attendants. “But it seems like you and yours could use them.”

“We could,” Blake said. Trade with human nations was always tricky, which meant their supplies were often low. She had talked of forming stronger links with the humans – at least some of them, like Yang, deserved to be trusted – but Adam had vetoed that suggestion. “Thank you.” 

“Yeah, it’s fine.” Yang nodded. “But, listen, you need to tell your people to keep on your side of the border.” Yang made a face. “Look, I know how you guys feel about the border, and I know you don’t think it’s fair, but I’m telling you, the king is just about done with the war against Vale. They’ll be signing a peace treaty inside of a month. Once he does, if you guys step out of line…”

“He’ll come down on us with his whole army,” Blake murmured. “I see. Thank you. I’ll do what I can.” Hopefully, Adam would see reason. Petty raids and border skirmishes were one thing, particularly when Atlas’s army was otherwise occupied. They could simply retreat to their hidden settlements in the forest, safe from reprisal. But picking a fight with a victorious king – given the way the war had gone, any peace treaty would favour Atlas – who now had a veteran army that was still on a war footing? That was suicide.

“Good.” Yang scratched the back of her head. “So… uh… what else are you doing today?”

Blake considered the question. “I suppose… not much.” She shrugged. “We could go… hunting?”

“Is that your version of hunting or mine?”

Blake chuckled. Yang was very much the sort of person to boldly challenge a boar to charge straight at her. Blake preferred to put her bow to work from long range or to use her dagger to attack with speed and stealth.

“We’ll see.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> Someone asked for more Blake and Yang, and it occurred to me that our favourite blonde and Faunus have not appeared all that frequently as of late. So what better way to remedy the situation than by giving them their own chapter? This particular chapter is a fantasy-themed AU, and although Ruby and Weiss don’t actually appear, you can kind of guess what they’re up to.
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	88. The Attendant

**The Attendant**  
 _  
Note: This is set in the same AU as Border Crossing.  
_  
X X X

“Your Highness, it’s time to wake up.”

The princess made no move to rise. Instead, she rolled over and did her best to blot out the sunlight streaming through the window with her blankets. That should have put an end to her attendant’s attempts to awaken her. After all, no mere attendant would dare to harangue the princess any further, never mind actually lay hands on her.

Actually, this attendant would.

The attendant’s silver eyes twinkled, and a mischievous grin crossed her lips before she climbed up onto the bed and yanked the princess up onto her shoulder. The royal gave a gasp of outrage. She was clad in nothing more than her undergarments and a nightgown, hardly modest attire, but her attendant paid her no mind. Indeed, the insolent young woman even went so far as to give the princess’s shapely posterior a fond squeeze.

“How dare you!” Weiss growled. “Unhand me at once!”

“I don’t think so.” Ruby ignored Her Highness’s kicking and squirming and continued her stroll toward the princess’s bathroom. “You have meetings later in the morning, and you’d sleep the whole day away if you could.”

“If you keep casting such aspersions, I’ll have your tongue cut out.”

Ruby was not the least bit threatened by her mistress’s threats. “We both know that you have far better things to do with my tongue than cut it out.”

The princess went a delightful shade of pink and tried to bonk her attendant over the head. Ruby somehow managed to dodge without relinquishing her hold on the princess before depositing her back onto her feet once they had entered the bathroom.

The bathroom itself was an extravagant affair, truly fitting for a princess of Atlas, the most powerful and prosperous nation in the world. Marble was the most common material, but there were trimmings of gold, silver, and precious stones throughout. Just looking at it all still gave Ruby a momentary twinge of unease. Tripping over and breaking something could easily cost her a year’s wages or more, and she was far from poorly paid.

“Well?” Weiss raised one eyebrow as Ruby continued to simply stand there. “Are you my attendant or not? See to my clothing.”

“Of course, Your Highness.” Ruby’s lips curved into a smirk. “I shall see to your clothing immediately.”

Had another one of her attendants been seeing to her clothing, undressing would not have taken long at all. Yet Ruby found a way to draw out the process. There were lingering touches, soothing strokes, and the ghost of fingertips over the most sensitive parts of Weiss’s body as each piece of clothing was removed, folded, and set aside. By the time that Weiss was naked, she was quivering with desire, and Ruby was easing her back to sit on the edge of the large tub that dominated the bathroom.

“Kneel,” Weiss said, breathlessly, her voice somehow managing to retain some semblance of command. 

“As you wish.” Ruby knelt, and her hands lingered on Weiss’s thighs before she parted them and leaned forward, her breathing rustling against Weiss’s centre. “What does my princess command?”

Weiss shivered, and Ruby bit back a wicked smile as the gemstones in the bracelet Weiss almost never took off shimmered like stars. The princess was one of the most skilled and powerful gem mages in the world. Making her lose control was not easy, but Ruby had become very, very good at it.

“Taste me.” Weiss let one hand tangle in Ruby’s dark hair, and their eyes locked for a moment, blue on silver. “Ruby.”

And Ruby did.

X X X

Outside the princess’s private apartments, her other attendants continued to go about their business, tidying the princess’s chambers and arranging the things she would need for the day ahead. Not one of them remarked on the sounds that drifted out from the princess’s bathroom. It was, after all, not entirely unexpected that the princess might take one of her attendants as a lover. Indeed, it was quietly encouraged, for it would ensure that one of her attendants – all of whom were also experts in combat – would be near her at all times.

X X X

When Weiss had regained her senses, she found herself being lowered into the bath, which had been filled with hot water. Her eyes had difficulty focusing for a moment before she caught sight of Ruby removing her own clothing. Weiss was more than capable of washing herself, but she and Ruby had done this enough times for the silver-eyed woman to anticipate Weiss’s desires perfectly. She wanted Ruby to wash her, and she wanted to wash Ruby.

As the other woman removed the last of her clothing, Weiss let her gaze wander over the fit, toned body of her most precious attendant and bodyguard. Ruby could play the part of a maid or attendant perfectly because of her cheerful, easy-going nature. However, Ruby was also one of the most singularly deadly warriors in the kingdom. 

Magic allowed Ruby to carry her scythe with her at all times, and there were perhaps only a handful of people in the kingdom who could last more than a minute or two against her. Weiss had once seen Ruby cut through several dozen soldiers in a matter of moments after a traitorous captain had made an attempt to abduct Weiss. 

Naturally, Weiss could have handled the matter herself. Gem magic allowed her to store spells inside specially crafted gemstones, and she never went anywhere without enough gems to level a city, but she appreciated the gesture. There was also something distinctly arousing about Ruby when she was at her most protective.

“Your orders, Your Highness?” Ruby murmured teasingly, bowing demurely at the waist although Weiss could easily make out the twitch of her lips.

“Get in here,” Weiss commanded. 

Weiss had intended to return the pleasure that Ruby had given her only moments ago, but her attendant had other ideas. Using her superior strength, Ruby swiftly rearranged their positions, so that Weiss was sitting on her lap. The dark-haired woman wasted no time in returning to her previous activities, tilting Weiss’ head back into a deep kiss as one hand went to her chest and the other to the juncture of her thighs.

The princess almost cursed her traitorous body as all thoughts of returning the favour fled from her mind. Instead, she shamelessly rode Ruby fingers to one climax after another before finally slumping boneless and spent in her attendant’s arm. An amused chuckle was almost enough to prompt a glare, but Weiss felt too good to be truly aggravated.

“It is much easier to wash you when you’re like this,” Ruby teased as she got to work on washing Weiss, her touch every bit as caring as before if less sensual. They did, after all, have a schedule to keep. “You’re quite helpless after you’ve been well pleasured, Your Highness.”

“I would banish you, Ruby, but then I’d have to get another attendant.” Weiss sighed and let Ruby move her about without complaint. “Besides, your sister would kick up quite a fuss, and she’s become rather popular with the military.”

Ruby pressed a kiss to Weiss’s shoulder and then pulled away before she could succumb to temptation and nip more toothily at the spot. Ah, it would have pleased her to leave a mark, but Weiss’s clothing for today bared that particular spot, so she would have to leave it for now. “I am not surprised. There are few who can make as big an impression on the battlefield as Yang.”

“With magic like hers, it’s a miracle that she hasn’t blown herself up,” Weiss rumbled. “But she is loyal, Ruby, and that counts for more than you think.”

In a kingdom like Atlas, loyalty was important. Weiss might be a princess, but there were countless nobles who would gladly turn against the throne if they sensed even an iota of weakness. Yang was a piece that Weiss could rely on in the great game that was royal politics. Ruby, of course, was Weiss’s most trusted piece, the one she had come to trust above all others. If Ruby proved to be false…

No. Weiss shook her head. Ruby was many things, but she was an awful liar.

“You are thinking too much,” Ruby said. “We should hurry. We’ve spent more time than I expected in here.”

Weiss huffed. “We haven’t spent nearly long enough if you ask me.”

Ruby smiled indulgently. “Tonight, Your Highness, after your work is done, I will obey any command you give me.”

“Is that so?”

“Yes. So work hard, and I will await you in your bedchamber.”

X X X

Weiss did indeed work hard throughout the day. Her sister even commented on it, wondering, with no small amount of amusement, about what manner of incentive could have her younger sister so motivated. The older princess had been given formal command of a reasonable portion of Atlas’s army, and she had been tasked with restoring order in the border zones after some Faunus raids had resulted in the destruction of several small villages. To aid her in her task, Winter had enlisted Yang’s help since the captain was apparently quite familiar with the area.

Strangely, Yang had not looked too pleased with her duty although it appeared to be an easy way to rattle off a few victories and earn a higher rank. Frankly, Weiss wondered if perhaps Winter had other plans for the captain as well. Certainly, her sister had regarded Yang with more than academic admiration. No matter. Yang could undoubtedly handle herself, and as… persuasive as Winter could be, she understood perfectly well that some things were so much better if freely offered rather than demanded.

Once Weiss had finished her work for the day, she returned to her chambers. As expected, her other attendants were busying themselves elsewhere with only a bare minimum remaining behind to ensure her safety. However, even they had vacated her bedchamber. Weiss opened the doors to her bedchamber, and her mouth went dry.

Ruby was kneeling on her bed in little more than a loose robe of crimson silk that did nothing to hide the fact that she was naked beneath it. The robe would already have come undone were it not for the thin sash of the same material that was tied around Ruby’s waist.

“Good evening, Your Highness.” Ruby bowed, pressing her head briefly against the bed before straightening. “Your loyal attendant awaits your command.”

Weiss took a moment to savour the sight of Ruby peering at her with utter loyalty and devotion before she spoke. “Untie your robe.”

Ruby did as she was told, and Weiss came forward, gaze flicking downward for a moment as the robe swung open to reveal Ruby’s body. Weiss took the sash in one hand and used the other to tug the robe off Ruby. The other woman was naked before her, and Weiss felt a surge of possessiveness as she gently pushed Ruby back onto the bed. The other woman laid back, legs slightly parted, and Weiss knelt over Ruby.

“Tonight, Ruby, I am in charge. Every command I give, every order I make, you will obey. Am I clear?”

“Yes, Your Highness.”

“Good. Put your hands above your head.” Weiss waited for Ruby to do as she was told before tying Ruby’s wrists together and then securing them to the head of the bed. “You are so insolent that I would fully expect you to disobey. Now, you have no choice.”

That was a blatant lie. Ruby could have broken free of the restraints in an instant, but they both knew that she would not.

Weiss thought of removing her own clothing but decided to leave it on. There was something… thrilling about taking Ruby while she was fully clothed and the silver-eyed woman was completely naked. It made Weiss feel as if Ruby were utterly at her mercy, a complete and utter slave to Weiss’s desires.

And what Weiss desired right now was to see Ruby come apart, to watch Ruby’s eyes glaze as pleasure overwhelmed her and the world fell away. Weiss wanted to see Ruby come until she couldn’t even remember her own name and know that it was her – Weiss – that was the one responsible. She wanted to brand Ruby with kisses, to leave marks that would leave no doubt as to whom Ruby belonged to.

She was Weiss’s, and Weiss would never let her go.

“What now, Your Highness?” Ruby whispered, as though she could sense the tension that filled Weiss.

“Now, Ruby, I’m going to take you and pleasure you until you can’t even find the words to beg for more. By the time I’m done with you, you’ll know that you were meant for me and that every single part of you belongs to me.”

“Of course, I was meant for you,” Ruby replied as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. “And we both already know that I belong to you.” Ruby leaned up until their lips were almost touching, and she turned her head to whisper in Weiss’s ear. “But, Weiss,” she said, using the princess’s name for the first time that day. “It cuts both ways, doesn’t it?”

“Yes, Ruby.” Weiss chuckled and caught Ruby’s chin gently in one hand, turning Ruby’s head until she could plunder her lips. “It does.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> Hmm… this wasn’t supposed to have any suggestive content in it. In fact, it was supposed to be a humorous snippet about Weiss ordering Ruby around. Oh well, that went according to plan for, what, three paragraphs? 
> 
> Oops. Oh, well, it’s been a while since I’ve written anything risqué. 
> 
> That aside, I thought I’d do a follow up to Border Crossing to show what Ruby and Weiss were doing. The answer, of course, is that they are doing each other. Yes, that was a lame pun, but I couldn’t resist. But things are getting tricky. As the bits involving Winter show, not all of Blake’s comrades have decided to listen to reason… which means that Yang is about to get caught between her friend and a princess of Atlas who has an army at her command. How will our favourite blonde handle things?
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	89. Representative

**Representative**

Ren sighed. “Yes, I’ll deal with it. Just… go back inside.”

The headman of the village bowed and quickly scuttled off to take shelter as the storm moved in. It was a big storm, but Ren wasn’t worried. He hadn’t been worried about storms in years.

Less than fifteen minutes later, the sky was filled with black clouds and lightning. Rain poured down on him, and Ren sighed again and reached up to try to get his hair into some semblance of order. Inside their houses, the villagers continued to cower in fear.

A bolt of lightning struck the ground not even ten yards away, but Ren didn’t run for shelter. Instead, he stayed right where he was and closed his eyes to shield them from the brightness. When he opened his eyes, he was no longer alone in the storm.

“Hey!” Strong arms wrapped around him from behind and a familiar head came to rest on his shoulder. “Funny seeing you here.”

“I wouldn’t say it’s funny, Nora.” Ren turned his head and found himself staring right into the eyes of the Goddess of Storms, Thunder, and Lightning. As usual, Nora wore a sunny smile on her face and carried a hammer so heavy that even other gods struggled to lift it. “Were you going to smite this village?”

Nora made a face. “Oh, come on. Don’t be such a party pooper. I get one festival a year, and they decided to hold a fishing contest on that day instead. Do you know how many festivals Death gets each year?”

“None. She prefers regular offerings of cookies and strawberries over festivals.”

“Yeah, well, maybe that wasn’t the best example. But Pyrrha has like five festivals a year, and they’re all popular. Where are my festivals, Ren?”

“To be fair,” Ren pointed out. “Your festival is enormously popular along the coast and with sailors. I was at the festival a few day’s south of here. There were tens of thousands of people celebrating you and leaving offerings at your temple.”

“I guess.” Nora huffed indignantly. “But these people weren’t doing what they were supposed to!”

“Nora, you can’t just smite them all for that.”

“I so can.”

“But you shouldn’t.” Ren turned and patted Nora on the head before tugging her into his arms. “After all, wouldn’t Nora the Forgiving and Merciful sound better than Nora the Smiter of the Innocent and Slayer of the Weak?”

“I don’t know,” Nora muttered. “That second one sounds pretty good.” One of the villagers peeked out of their house, and Nora glared, sending him scrambling for cover. “But this is your fault anyway.”

“How so?”

“Because I didn’t get to spend my festival with you!” Nora leaned back and then poked him on the forehead. “You’re mortal, Ren. That gives you, what, seventy, maybe eighty, years? You need to spend more of them with me before Death shows up and carts you off, cackling all the while.”

“I don’t think she’d cackle,” Ren pointed out. He’d met Death. If anything, she’d be quite sad about having to claim Ren’s soul. It couldn’t be easy doing what she did. “But you’re right. I should spend some more time with you. So how about we go somewhere instead of you smiting this village.”

“We could do that.” Nora grinned. “Hold on.”

“Wait just a second – gah!”

Ren screamed as Nora grabbed him by the waist and then hurtled into the clouds, carried aloft on a road of glittering lightning, her hammer alight with power.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> I thought it was about time for some more Ren and Nora fluff. They don’t appear too frequently in these snippets, so it’s nice to have one focused on them. That said, I have a feeling that I’m going to need to write a lot of fluff if this season goes like the last one.
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	90. Ancient Wisdom

**Ancient Wisdom**

Death was something that Yang had become intimately familiar with. She’d dealt it out more than she liked to think about, and she’d seen it happen to more than her fair share of comrades. That’s how it was in the monster-hunting business. Either she killed the monsters, or they killed her.

Today, it looked like the monsters had finally managed to get their pound of flesh.

She was vaguely aware of the blood leaking out of the gaping wound in her side, and her gaze drifted over to where one of the huntsmen was sprawled over by a nearby rock. One of the ghouls they’d been hunting was hunched over him. It was eating its fill as the huntsman tried to hold it off with one broken arm.

Ghouls always had enjoyed eating their prey alive.

More ghouls came, their twisted, misshapen forms creeping through the shadows and into the flickering light cast by the dying campfire. There had been a dozen huntsmen and huntresses, more than enough to deal with the ghouls. But the ghouls hadn’t come alone.

Ghouls typically served powerful vampires. They weren’t very smart, but they were durable and easy to create. They could give their master more time to escape from huntsmen or huntresses, or they could distract huntsmen and huntresses long enough for their master to strike.

These ghouls didn’t simply serve a powerful vampire. They served an ancient.

Yang blinked and tried to focus as one of the ghouls moved toward her. She’d lost so much blood, and her hands couldn’t seem to close around the handle of her dagger. The ghoul moved closer, its maw a gaping hole filled with dagger-like teeth. It was about to reach her when a voice snapped out.

“Not that one.” It was the ancient. Yang hadn’t gotten a good look at them before everything had gone wrong, but she’d felt their power. They were so strong. Too strong. But this voice… a female ancient? “I have plans for her.”

Magic flared. Yang’s mind struggled to comprehend it. A communication spell?

There were footsteps. Yang looked up, forcing herself to look into the eyes of the ancient. She refused to die a coward.

“I was right. It is you.”

“Schnee…” Yang tried to growl the name. This ancient was definitely a Schnee. There was no mistaking that pale hair and those blue eyes. That explained the glyphs that had appeared around the camp just before the attack, the glyphs that had killed most of her fellow huntsmen and huntresses before they could raise so much as a sword or a spell in defence.

“Weiss Schnee, at your service.” The Schnee chuckled. “And you are Yang Xiao Long. Try not to die. We’ll have company in a moment, and she’ll be so happy to see you.”

Less than a minute later, the shadows at the edges of the camp bent and twisted. A large door of seething darkness appeared and swung open. Another vampire, another ancient, emerged, one whom Yang was very familiar with indeed.

“Hello, Yang.” Blake Belladonna smiled, amber eyes gleaming as she bared her fangs. “What’s it been, three years?”

Yang fainted.

X X X

Yang woke.

“Good evening, Yang.”

Yang recoiled, or she tried to. However, the agonising pain from her side forced her to slump back onto the bed she’d been placed on. Blake gave a low, throaty chuckle, one that sent a shiver down Yang’s spine. It wasn’t entirely out of fear either. She’d loved that sound once.

“It’s a good thing that Weiss has always been business minded. Otherwise, you’d be in some ghoul’s stomach by now.” Blake smiled thinly. “Oh, don’t worry. I’ve had one of my servants treat you. You’re not going to be fighting any time soon, but you’re not about to die either. That would be such a waste.”

Yang tried to gather her wits. This wasn’t good. Even if she’d been completely healthy, there was no way that she’d have been able to take Blake on alone. Blake was one of only a handful of ancients who had the power to take on someone like Weiss and hold their own.

Once upon a time, Blake had served another ancient, Adam, but more than two centuries ago, the other vampire had disappeared. Blake was widely rumoured to have killed him after a dispute over what to do with the humans and Faunus that occupied their domain. Adam had been in favour of simply drinking the lot of them dry. Blake had desired a more pragmatic course of action. She wanted to look after them, to win their trust and loyalty. She wanted them to give their blood freely. In short, she wanted to farm them.

If the rumours were to be believed, Blake and Adam had levelled the manor they’d lived in during their struggle before Blake had impaled the older vampire on his own sword and staked him out in the courtyard for the sun. Normally, mere exposure to sunlight wouldn’t be enough to kill a powerful ancient, but in combination with a sword through the heart followed by decapitation sometime around noon, the sun had proven to be sufficient.

Needless to say, other ancients had regarded Blake with more caution after that. Well, except for Weiss. The Schnee had apparently been so delighted about Blake’s ruthlessness that she’d invited her over to enjoy a few particularly pure maidens.

“What are you going to do to me?” Yang asked. Blake hadn’t lied. She’d been healed enough to get her out of immediate danger, but she wasn’t in anything close to fighting shape.

“I’m not going to kill you, if that’s what you’re worried about. I have… other plans for you.” Blake pulled up a chair and sat down beside Yang. “You see, Yang, the vast majority of vampires are fools. They think the blood curse makes them gods, and I suppose there’s some truth to that. But becoming a vampire doesn’t change the foundations of a person. I’ve delved into the history of my kind. Don’t you consider it odd that despite our power, we’ve never managed to take over the world?”

Yang glared back. She was not interested in a history lesson.

Blake gave another one of those throaty chuckles and ran one hand along Yang’s uninjured side. Her body trembled, turned traitor by memories of what had happened the last time Blake had managed to capture her. “My studies suggest that there are two main problems: control and quality. Simply put, you can only use force to control people for so long. Eventually, they turn against you. You have to make people want your rule.”

Yang swallowed thickly. Blake’s actions made a lot more sense now.

“That’s why I’ve been very kind to the people of my domain. Adam never could wrap his mind around that. It was vampires against the world. But vampires need the world. At least, we need its blood. The people who live in my domain do not have to fear death from me and mine as long as they obey some simple rules. In exchange for their cooperation and their blood, they receive protection and support. My people are much more well educated and well fed than the usual peasant rabble, and they have me to thank for it. When I ask for blood, they all hasten to offer it. And why shouldn’t they? I am their ruler. I am the one who ensures that bandits and wild animals are dealt with. I am the one who offers ghouls and other creatures to help them with manual labour. I am the one who guarantees them basic rights and freedoms as long as they obey my rules. People don’t want freedom, Yang. They want security.”

“You didn’t answer my question,” Yang muttered. The idea of people choosing to let a vampire rule them was madness. Or was it? The nobility had never cared much for the common folk. In fact, riots and rebellions were a constant problem due to the way common folk were treated. If a vampire offered them something better how many of them would really refuse?

“No, I didn’t. But that brings me to my second point. Quality. You see, Yang, it takes a certain kind of person to make a good vampire. We vampires walk the road to eternity, and it is a rough road indeed. Many fledglings go mad within the first few decades. Even amongst ancients like myself, the majority are barely sane, driven to wilder and wilder acts of violence and depravity by their lust for blood and power. It’s no wonder vampires can’t take over the world. We spend more time fighting each other or destroying ourselves than we do fighting off huntsmen and huntresses like you and your allies. But it occurred to me that maybe the reason we’ve had so little success is because we’re making the wrong people vampires.”

Yang’s breathing quickened. She could see where Blake was going with this, and it did not reassure her at all.

“What I need, Yang, is a reliable second-in-command. Oh, Velvet is able enough, but she’s too gentle for much of what will have to be done in the future. After all, you can only ever build a new world on the bones of the old one. What I need is someone with determination, someone with an unfailing sense of purpose, someone who knows how to win and will do what it takes to achieve victory. And then it occurred to me that I already know someone like that. The only problem is that she isn’t a vampire… yet.”

“You want to turn me,” Yang whispered.

“Want has nothing to do with it, Yang.” Blake smiled. “I am going to turn you, and you are going to beg me to do it.”

“Not a chance.”

“We’ll see.” Blake got up. “You should rest. I’m going to show you my domain. You should see what it is you’ll be fighting for.”

“The others will come for me,” Yang growled. “Ruby will come for me.”

“Your sister?” Blake’s eyes gleamed. “I’m counting on it. After all, I owe Weiss a favour after she handed you over to me.” She patted Yang on the hand. “I’ve talked things over with some other ancients, Yang. There are a group of us who agree on what has to be done. Like me, they know of people who would do very well as vampires.”

“No…”

“Oh, yes. Weiss has plans for your sister, Yang. And think about it this way. If we turn both of you, then you and Ruby will be sisters forever. Wouldn’t that be nice?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> Happy Halloween! And what better way to celebrate than with Blake as a vampire? I suppose you could think about this as what would have happened in something like Love Waits if Weiss and company had been a little more evil and calculating. I’ve also got another snippet lined up soon, something involving pumpkins.
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	91. Pumpkins

**Pumpkins**

“Hah!”

SPLAT.

Ruby stared at Yang. “That’s not how you carve a pumpkin.”

The blonde shrugged. “I think my pumpkin looks awesome.”

“Yang, you just punched a hole in it. That’s not awesome at all.” 

“Could you do any better?”

“Sure.” Ruby reached for Crescent Rose and eyed a nearby pumpkin. “Watch this.”

Ruby’s scythe blurred into motion, each slash aimed with unbelievable skill and precision. When she finally stopped, her pumpkin was… a disaster.

“Hahaha!” Yang laughed and pointed at Ruby’s pumpkin. “Your pumpkin looks like it exploded.”

“It’s not that bad,” Ruby replied. “I mean… it kind of looks a bit like a skull.”

“Yeah, if by a skull you mean one that’s been blown up by one Nora’s grenades or something.”

“Hey! It is not that bad.”

“Sorry, little sis, but it is.”

“Well, yours isn’t great either.”

“Amateurs.” Weiss brushed Yang and Ruby aside. “Behold the prowess of a Schnee.” She drew her rapier and swung it at one of the nearby pumpkins with regal majesty. The pumpkin exploded.

Ruby and Yang both ducked behind Weiss as the heiress was showered in pumpkin. 

“Not one word,” Weiss growled. “Not one single word.”

“Wow, you’re all terrible.” Blake had finally decided to throw her proverbial hat into the ring. “I’ll show you how it’s done.”

Ten seconds later, Blake had a frighteningly realistic skull-shaped pumpkin.

“You suck,” Yang muttered. “You know that, right?”

“No. The only things that suck are the three of you,” Blake replied. She paused and then nodded at Weiss. “You suck twice as much since you’re dressed as a vampire.”

“It has to be a fluke,” Weiss huffed. “I bet you can’t do it again…” She trailed off as Blake produced another perfect skull pumpkin.

“Uh, as team leader, Blake, I am ordering you to give me that pumpkin,” Ruby said slowly. “You know, so I can have one that actually looks good.” She looked around shiftily. “And so Jaune can’t say he has a better one than me.”

“Sure,” Blake said. “You can have that one since you asked nicely although he’ll probably get Pyrrha to carve him one. I’ve heard she’s quite good at that. Those two, however, will have to make their own pumpkins.”

“…” Yang and Weiss looked at each other as Ruby gleefully grabbed one of the pumpkins that Blake had carved.

Blake decided to have mercy on them. “Hand over half the candy you collect trick or treating, and I’ll make you guys one each.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> A belated Halloween snippet. Everyone loves pumpkins right? Right? 
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	92. Auction

**Auction**

Weiss was about to continue banging her head on her desk when Ruby reached out to stop her.

“Hey, can you stop that?” Ruby grinned. “I like your desk too much for you to dent it.”

Weiss scowled as ominously as she could. Given the circumstances, it wasn’t very ominously at all. “Really? That’s all you have to say?”

“Well… I could talk about how you decided to outbid everyone in the room for dinner with me at a charity fundraiser that you organised, but I kind of figured that you didn’t want to think about that, you know, since you’ve been banging your head on your desk for the past ten minutes.”

The Schnee made a gurgling sound and covered her face with her hands. What had she been thinking? Had she completely lost her mind? The whole thing was a disaster. She’d organised an auction to help raise money for several orphanages in Atlas, and Ruby had gladly signed on to help.

The idea was hardly revolutionary. People would bid for a chance to have dinner with one of several famous huntsmen or huntresses, and that money would go to help the orphanages. It was something that countless fundraisers had done in the past, and Ruby hadn’t been the only famous person whose evening had been up for auction.

But when the bidding had started, Weiss had lost control of herself. The idea of someone else – anyone else – having dinner with her Ruby had driven everything even remotely resembling common sense out of her mind. She’d outbid a host of other wealthy people, all of whom were devoted fans, in order to secure an evening with her very own girlfriend.  
It had taken Winter ten minutes to stop laughing at her.

“You know,” Ruby said, shifting her hands to massage Weiss’s shoulders. “You’re really tense. Since you’ve got me for the evening, why don’t you let me help you out.” Ruby leaned down and nibbled on Weiss’s ear. “Instead of banging your head on your desk, well, you could bang me on your desk.”

Weiss blinked. “Ruby… you have been spending far too much time around Yang.”

The younger woman smirked in a very Yang-like way. “Is that a no, Weiss?”

Weiss stood, hoisted Ruby onto the table, and began to remove Ruby’s clothing. “What do you think? I paid a considerable sum for the pleasure of your company this evening, Ruby, and I intend to get my money’s worth.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> Because possessive Weiss is the best Weiss! Really, though, I can see Weiss getting flustered and letting her instincts get the better of her. Oh, well. At least, it was for charity. She might need a new desk though.
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	93. Bidding War

**Bidding War**

Winter was enjoying her little sister’s plight when she was grabbed by an irate huntress. 

“I need to borrow money!” Ruby growled.

“What?” Winter gave an inelegant yelp and tried to pry Ruby’s hands off. She had absolutely zero success. “Why do you need money?”

“Why do I need money?” Ruby waved one hand in the general direction of the stage. “Have you not been paying attention? They’re bidding for Weiss, and the bid is already higher than I can afford!”

“Oh.”

Winter had been wonderfully amused when her sister had shown her possessive side a few months ago and outbid everyone to spend the evening with Ruby. Not only were the two of them already in a relationship but the money had also gone to charity. Everybody walked away a winner. Well, except Weiss. That evening with Ruby had not come cheaply although the mysterious destruction of Weiss’s desk suggested that the evening had also been quite an enjoyable one.

Now, however, the shoe was on the other foot. Blake had asked for volunteers for an auction to raise money for needy Faunus, and Weiss had volunteered. A massive bidding war had ensued for an evening of Weiss’s time, and Winter had watched as Ruby’s amusement had turned into something that closely resembled homicidal rage.

Interesting. 

She’d always thought that Yang was the sister most like to go crazy and murder everyone, but apparently, she’d underestimate Ruby. Also the tic that Ruby’s eye had developed could not be healthy. Either she was in the middle of having a stroke or the murdering was about to begin. It could also be a combination of both since Winter was fairly sure that Ruby could murder most people even while having a stroke. She was just that good, and a giant scythe that was also a sniper rifle was perfect for murdering people who didn’t know how to keep their grubby hands off Ruby’s Weiss.

And now Ruby wasn’t just grabbing Winter, the younger woman was shaking her around like a rag doll.

“Give me your money!” Ruby’s eyes blazed with silver fire… no… actually… there was light coming out her eyes. Okay… this was now a very serious matter. “Winter!”

Winter decided to do the rational thing: she decided to give the scary huntress with glowing, silver eyes what she wanted.

“Here!” Winter fumbled for her wallet. “You can use this. It should have enough!”

“Yes!” Ruby snatched Winter’s wallet and shoved her way to the front of the crowd. “Hey! I’m bidding! Hey!”

And that was how Ruby helped finance three schools, two orphanages, and one hospital, all of them for needy Faunus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> This chapter is the counterpart to Auction. And if you thought possessive Weiss was cool, how about possessive Ruby? On the upside, Ruby can proudly claim responsibility for funding some wonderful facilities for needy Faunus even if she will be paying Winter back for the next two million years.
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	94. Get A Room

**Get A Room**

“You two need to get a room.” 

Weiss glared at the offending couple whose clothes were scattered across the room in no small amount of disarray. Her eye twitched as she took careful note of the fact that their clothes hadn’t been removed so much as ripped off in the couple’s haste to disrobe. 

It didn’t help that that the amorous couple had apparently been so desperate to engage in, ahem, a physical expression of their love that they’d simply thrown themselves onto the nearest bed before proceeding to, well, express their love physically – and vigorously if the broken bed was anything to go by. That bed, of course, belonged to Weiss.

The bed might already be broken, but she was still going to burn it. She did not want to sleep in it after what those two had been doing on it. 

Still, she had to admire the couple’s flexibility. The position she’d caught them in was, quite frankly, physically improbable, albeit not impossible. It was also highly creative. Weiss hadn’t even considered that particular position, and she did have quite an active imagination, due largely to the recent development of Ruby’s figure combined with the aforementioned girl’s decision to perform her daily stretching routine in plain view of Weiss. 

Ruby was wonderfully flexible, and Weiss’s mind was slowly, but surely, building the mental equivalent of a metropolis in the proverbial gutter because of it. It was a nice gutter though, full of all sorts of intriguing images and ideas.

It was fortunate, however, that Ruby had not been with her when she’d stumbled into the room. That would have been awkward. Weiss cared very deeply for Ruby, but she was not properly equipped to answer questions like “Weiss, why is Yang’s head between Blake’s legs?” or “Weiss, why are Blake’s fingers there?” or even worse, something like, “Weiss, should we try that? It looks fun.”

That last question, in particular, would have been very dangerous indeed since Weiss would most likely have answered in the affirmative, and she doubted that she and Ruby were ready for that just yet.

“Did you hear what I said?” Weiss asked. “You two need to get a room.”

It was a testament to Yang’s panache that she didn’t bother trying to disentangle herself from Blake, nor did she blush. Instead, she merely smirked.

“We have a room, Weiss. You’re standing in it.”

Weiss opened her mouth and then shut it. Then, slowly, she walked over and bonked Yang on the head.

“Get a different room. And from crying out loud, if you’re going to use this one, use your own bed. Where am I supposed to sleep now?”

Yang rubbed her head. “I don’t know… with Ruby?”

That earned the blonde another bonk over the head. In the meantime, Blake could only groan – from mortification, not pleasure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> Hurray! My backlog is slowly being reduced. This particular snippet was from January this year, so I am now officially sort of catching up. No, seriously, my backlog has grown from about three months to just under twelve. The last several chapters were posted relatively soon after being written, but the vast majority of chapters so far are from more than a year ago. Yikes. On the upside, that means there are still a year’s worth of chapters for me to post. Yay! 
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	95. Cake Thief

**Cake Thief**

Everybody knew that Ruby loved cake. It was one of Ruby’s essential characteristics. However, Weiss was no slouch when it came to eating cakes, and she could eat more than almost anyone when it came to cakes except Ruby. But eating more cake than Ruby was almost impossible not only because of the dark-haired woman’s seemingly bottomless stomach but also because of that other thing she did.

Weiss used her spoon to carve off a small piece of cake before lifting it to her lips –

WHOOSH.

Suddenly, her spoon was empty, and Ruby was wearing a distinctly mischievous smile as she raised her spoon to her lips – a spoon that now had Weiss’s piece of cake on it.

“Ruby!” Weiss glared ominously. “No using your Semblance to steal my cake!”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Weiss.” Ruby smiled sunnily. “I mean… did you actually see me take your cake?”

“Well… no…”

“And we both have the same kind of cake, don’t we? Isn’t it possible that rather than stealing your cake, I simply got some of my own?”

“Maybe…” Weiss’s eye twitched, and she got another piece of cake onto her spoon. Ruby could be very sneaky sometimes. “But I’m watching you, Ruby. I’m watching you very closely –”

WHOOSH.

“I’m glad to hear that.” Ruby smiled and lifted her spoon to her lips, so she could eat another small piece of cake – another small piece of Weiss’s cake. “Nothing ever gets past you, Weiss.” 

“Ruby…” Weiss growled and made a choking motion with her hands. “Stop stealing my cake!”

“Do you have proof that I’ve been stealing your cake?” Ruby’s grin widened. “We can certainly check the surveillance cameras in this café if you want.”

“We both know that you’re too fast for those surveillance cameras, you vile, cake-stealing villain!”

“Hmmm… vile, cake-stealing villain? I like the sound of that.” Ruby licked her spoon. “So… are you going to eat the rest of your cake, or can I have it?”

“RUBY!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> Ruby is the ultimate in cake-stealing villainy.
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	96. Copy Bunny

**Copy Bunny**

“Why does Coco always walk around with that little smirk on her face?” Weiss asked. It hadn’t bothered her at first, but she couldn’t stop thinking about it now that she’d noticed it. Coco didn’t seem like the sort of person to be unnecessarily smug even if she could be a little quirky when it came to fashion.

Next to Weiss, Velvet’s usually timid expression gave way to a distinctly toothy smile. “Oh, I might know a thing or two about that.”

“Oh?” Weiss raised one eyebrow. “Then would you mind telling me?”

Velvet nodded. “You’ve seen what I can do in a fight, right?”

Weiss pursed her lips. She didn’t see what Velvet’s ability to copy various weapons and use them with surprisingly proficiency had to do with anything. “Yes…”

“What makes you think that weapons and combat styles are the only things I can copy?” Velvet grinned evilly. “If I’ve seen someone do it, I can probably copy it.”

It took a moment for Weiss to understand what Velvet was getting at, but when she did, her face immediately went an interesting shade of red. “Oh.”

“Yes, oh.” Velvet smirked as Coco walked past. She pulled the other girl into a passionate kiss and then gave Weiss a jaunty wave. “Any other questions?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> People have been asking for some Coco and Velvet, so I thought I’d give them some. Who knows what else Velvet has learned how to do…
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	97. How Ruby Failed As Santa

**How Ruby Failed As Santa**

Ruby made a choking sound. She was supposed to be delivering presents to good boys and girls across the world. After all, she was Santa, and it was Christmas. Alas, she had been confronted by a most unexpected obstacle.

“You could leave,” Weiss drawled, uncrossing and then crossing her legs, which did absolutely horrible things to Ruby’s pulse since the wealthiest woman in the world was clad in some exceptionally alluring lingerie. “Or you could stay.”

“I…” Ruby should have known better than to arrive thinking she could lecture Weiss on being a bit of a Scrooge. Weiss had known she was coming and had prepared accordingly. “I…”

“You could have some cookies and milk.” Weiss’s smile turned positively wicked. “And you could have me. What’ll it be?”

X X X

And that was the year Yang had to fill in for Ruby as Santa. Alas, she only managed to make it as far as the house of a certain Faunus before falling prey to the aforementioned Faunus’s wiles.

Which is how Nora ended up being Santa for a year. She delivered presents, flew the sleigh like a crazy person, and scared the absolute crap out of the bad kids.

Mission successful.

X X X  
 **  
Omake: Attempt #2  
**  
Exactly a year had passed since Ruby – also known as Santa – had been waylaid by the richest woman in the world, Weiss Schnee. Her mission to deliver toys to good boys and girls across the globe had been a complete failure thanks to the overwhelming firepower of Weiss in lingerie.

But this time she was prepared.

Ruby hardened her heart and prepared to deliver a stern lecture about how seducing Santa was totally not okay even if it had been really, really great and she may have been kind of maybe a little hoping for a repeat performance…

“Weiss!” Ruby growled. “You’ve been…” The words died in her throat along with any thoughts of lecturing the other woman.

“What?” Weiss raised one eyebrow at Ruby. She was wearing black lingerie this time and… and was that a whip? Weiss flicked her wrist, and there was a cracking sound. Yep. That was definitely a whip. 

“Uh…” Ruby tried to pull her mind out of the gutter and failed miserably. “You’ve… you’ve been a very bad girl.”

Weiss smirked. “Yes, I have. Are you here to punish me?”

“…”

And that was how Ruby failed at being Santa for a second year in a row.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> Well, it’s that time of year again. Whoever said that Santa only gave gifts away? In this case, Ruby is definitely getting one heck of a surprise. That aside, which member of Team RWBY do you think would look best in a Santa outfit (naughty or nice, it’s up to you)?
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	98. Staring Contest

**Staring Contest**

Ruby stared at Penny.

Penny stared at Ruby.

Seconds turned into minutes. Minutes turned into –

Ruby blinked.

“Gah!” Ruby clutched at her face. “I lost again!”

Penny winced as she noticed just how red and bloodshot Ruby’s eyes were. “Perhaps we should try a different game, friend.”

“No, it’s okay.” Ruby reached into her pocket and pulled out some eye drops. “I can totally beat you in a staring contest.”

“Ruby, I am a robot. You are not going to beat me in a staring contest.”

“You’re not just a robot, Penny.” Ruby smiled reassuringly and patted Penny’s hand. “You’re a real girl, and I will absolutely beat you in a staring contest. Let’s go again.”

Penny sighed. She appreciated the sentiment, but the last thing she wanted was for her first real friend to go blind. She would have to let Ruby win next time –

“And don’t even think of letting me win.” Ruby blinked blearily, eyes utterly bloodshot and more than a little bit crazed. “I have to beat you fairly!”

Ten attempts later, Ruby finally conceded that maybe – just maybe – she couldn’t beat a robot in a staring contest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> Because the world needs more Penny-related fluff, and there’s been absolutely none at all this season. Come back, Penny!
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	99. Accidents Happen

**Accidents Happen**

Ruby patted her sister comfortingly on the shoulder. “Well… if anyone asks, we can always say that the forest burned down on its own.”

“Yeah… yeah, I guess we can.”

Not that Yang thought anyone would actually believe them. Why would they? She and Ruby had developed something of a reputation for property damage. To be fair, a lot of that was Yang’s fault. She might – occasionally – lose her temper, and making her mad was a tremendously bad idea. After all, she’d been kicked out of not only the Beacon Academy of Magic but also the Beacon Academy of knights for her – ahem – tendency to react violently to provocation. There was, as people said when they had to put it politely, precedent for this sort of thing.

Ruby, of course, had not abandoned her, and she’d promptly quit, choosing to follow Yang into life as a mercenary. There was plenty of work for people with their skills, and both of them had been doing wonderfully at the Academies right up until Yang had decided to settle an argument with a bit of fire magic and a punch to the gut.

Well, that would have been an accurate description if she replaced ‘ a bit of fire magic’ with ‘a colossal inferno’ and ‘a punch to the gut’ with ‘several dozen punches’.

Oops.

In any case, their most recent mission had been taken on behalf of Lady Glynda Goodwitch, a powerful mage who ruled over a fairly large estate. Recently, foul creatures had been attacking villagers who lived near the great forest that bordered her lands. Due to her commitments at the Beacon Academy of Magic, she was not available to handle the problem personally. However, she had asked her two former students to handle it for her.

And Ruby and Yang had definitely handled it.

A brief investigation had revealed that the culprits were several packs of Dark Hounds, shadowy beasts of darkness that fed off the pain and suffering of others. They loved to strike at the weak and defenceless, and nothing pleased them more than to slowly drive their victims into despair and madness.

Ruby and Yang had marched in and wiped out the first couple of packs before realising that the number of Dark Hounds was significantly greater than they’d first thought – by a factor of about ten. Yang had decided to use a powerful area-of-effect spell to thin the herd, but she’d lost control of the spell after one of the Dark Hounds had managed to grab her by the hair. She’d crushed its skull with one magically enhanced punch, but the temporary loss of control had turned what was supposed to be a tightly focused dome of fire into a raging conflagration that had her and Ruby running for their lives.

And now… now it had begun to rain.

“Look on the bright side, Yang. The rain should put out the fire.” Ruby smiled. “And we did get rid of the Dark Hounds. Mission accomplished!”

“I guess.” Yang sagged. Glynda would be pleased that the villagers were safe but less than pleased that Yang had burned down a decent chunk of the forest. Then again, nobody liked the forest. It was always spitting out monsters of some kind or another. “Hopefully, we’ll still get paid.”

X X X

Yang and Ruby were in good spirits. They had a hefty amount of gold in their pockets courtesy of Glynda, and they’d even run into some old friends. The mercenary group known as JNPR was led by Jaune Arc, and they weren’t the least bit normal. For starters, their leader was the former scion of the Arc family who had been disowned for reasons that he and his family refused to discuss. With him were Pyrrha, a legendary former champion of Mistral’s gladiator circuit, Ren, an assassin from the Far East, and Nora, a paladin from the north who’d been kicked out of her order for going above and beyond the call of duty when it came to smiting the wicked – never mind the property damage involved.

Ruby and Yang were talking to Jaune and the others about the missions they’d taken since they’d last met when a hush fell over the tavern. Yang glanced at the door. Her lips curled. No wonder everyone was quiet. There was a damn Schnee in the tavern. The Schnee family was renowned for two things: money and power. They weren’t royalty – the Atlas Republic didn’t have royalty – but they were about as close as it got. Their mercantile endeavours had made them wealthy beyond measure, and the magical prowess that ran through the family was the stuff of legend.

A Schnee might not have the most tremendous reserve of magic, but they could use what they had more efficiently and more effectively than anyone else. General Winter Schnee was the youngest general in Atlas’s history, and she’d earned her rank through a combination of unmatched tactical acumen and overwhelming magical skill. Indeed, if the stories were true, she was one of only a handful of people to have ever survived an encounter with the Sorceress Queen of the Hellfire Mountains, Cinder Fall.

So what was a Schnee doing here?

Right on cue, someone, most likely drunk out of his mind, made an attempt to grab the Schnee. He didn’t get far. A glowing circle of magical energy formed under him, and he vanished – only to reappear on the ceiling, pinned in place by another glowing circle.

Yang gave a low whistle of approval. That was short-range teleportation combined with physical restraints, all without any visible gestures or vocalisation. The Schnee was good. The poor fellow’s comrades – he looked to be a mercenary of some kind – got to their feet, but a ribbon of darkness snaked out of the Schnee’s shadow and bound them in place. The Schnee continued to walk forward, and someone emerged from her shadow, hidden beneath a hooded, black cloak. All Yang could make out were a pair of cat-like, amber eyes.

If it was possible, the silence in the tavern deepened. That was a Shadow Walker. They were supposed to be little more than legends, fairy tales parents used to scare unruly children. No wonder the Schnee was so confident. She had her own skills to rely on and the help of a being that was considered somewhere between the bogeyman and a demon.

The Schnee continued to walk until she reached their table.

“My name,” she said. “Is Weiss Schnee, and I would like to hire you.”

“Who exactly would you like to hire?” Yang asked. 

The Schnee smiled thinly. “I’d like to hire all of you. That is to say, I’d like to hire you, Yang Xiao Long, your sister, Ruby Rose, and all of JNPR. I have… work that needs your unique skills.” She nodded at the Shadow Walker who seemed equal parts tangible and intangible. “Blake, why don’t you tell them what I have in mind?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> Heh. There’s nothing like a bit of Fantasy AU to get things going, is there? This is another one of those snippets that I’ll probably come back to in the future, adding a bit here and a bit there until there’s something vaguely resembling a story. There are lots of little hints at what the characters are up to, and there’s plenty of room to grow. How about Roman as the head of a guild of thieves with Neo as his quiet assassin who handles all of the… troublesome people? Or how about Team STRQ as the broken remnants of a group of legendary heroes who may or may not have saved the world a few times before going their separate ways?
> 
> On another note, I’m aiming to post at least one more thing before New Year, but I don’t know how that will go. I’m behind schedule on pretty much everything, including my original fiction (you can find me on Amazon as L. G. Estrella – if you like my humorous stuff, please consider giving my original fiction like Two Necromancers, a Bureaucrat, and an Elf a try), so I’d like to offer all of you my best wishes now.
> 
> I hope you all have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. May the year to come be full of good fortune, fair weather, and plenty of success.
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	100. Smooth

**Smooth  
**  
 _  
Because the course of true love never did run smooth – it was more like paddling down a river of lava in a tin foil canoe.  
_  
 **  
Attempt #1  
**  
Yang waved at Blake. “Can you come here for a second, Blake?”

The Faunus ambled over and glanced down at Yang’s scroll. “What is it?”

“Here, take a look at this.” Yang lifted her scroll, so Blake could get a better look at it.

“Yang… that’s a picture of me.”

“Yeah.” Yang gave Blake her winningest smile. “I just thought I’d show you a picture of the prettiest girl I know.”

Blake sighed and gave Yang a fond swat on the arm. “Dork.”  
 **  
Attempt #2  
**  
Yang grinned. “Hey, Blake…”

“Yes?”

“Where do you hide your wings?”

“Huh?” Blake tilted her head to one side. “I’m a cat Faunus, Yang, not a bird Faunus.”

“Er…” Yang winced. “I was kind of… uh… you know… because you’re like an angel… so… yeah… I thought you’d have wings… you know… yeah.”

Blake sighed. “Dork.”  
 **  
Attempt #3  
**  
Yang ducked under another wave of gunfire from White Fang henchmen and winked at Blake. “You know, you need to stop, drop, and roll, Blake. You’re on fire!”

Blake chuckled. “Yang…”

Ruby yelped. “Actually, you’re seriously on fire, Blake! Stop, drop, and roll!”  
 **  
Attempt #11  
**  
“Why do we even have math homework?” Blake grumbled. “We’re huntresses.”

“Who knows?” Yang smirked. “Hey… did you know that my love for you is like dividing by zero?”

Blake gave Yang a dubious look. “Impossible?”

“No!” Yang gaped. “Undefined.”  
 **  
Attempt #21  
**  
Yang sidled up to Blake at the bar. They were at a party for the students to celebrate the end of the year. “So… did you know that my bedroom has a very interesting ceiling? How would you like to see it?”

Blake snickered and took another sip of her drink. “Yang… we share the same bedroom. I’ve already seen it. Plus, it’s boring… well… except for that stain where one of Ruby’s pancakes hit the ceiling.”   
**  
Attempt #42  
**  
Yang hoisted herself up onto the tree branch next to Blake. Keeping watch was one thing, keeping watch with Blake was much more enjoyable. “You know, even if gravity didn’t exist, I’d still fall for you.”

Blake’s lips twitched. “If gravity didn’t exist, Yang, you wouldn’t fall at all.”  
 **  
Attempt #71  
**  
Yang blocked another kick from Blake and then backed away to circle around her. The two of them were both sweating from exertion.

“Hey, do you know karate, Blake?”

Blake shrugged. “Not really. Why do you ask?”

“Because your body is really kicking.”

Yang was so busy grinning from ear to ear that she never saw Blake’s next kick coming.  
 **  
Attempt #119  
**  
Yang took a deep breath. “Blake, if being sexy was a crime, you’d be found guilty.”

Blake rolled her eyes. “Yang, what are you doing? Are you trying to ask me out because this is… I don’t know… the hundredth time you’ve tried a cheesy pick up line on me?”

“Uh… maybe…?”

“Idiot.” Blake sighed. “You should have just asked me normally.”

“I was worried you’d say no.”

“Come here.” Blake tugged Yang forward and dragged her into a kiss. “How is that for an answer?”

“…”

“What?” Blake smirked. “Cat got your tongue?”

“Well… not at the moment, no.”

“I guess I could fix that.”

Blake pulled Yang into another kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Notes
> 
> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> This snippet was based on the following prompt: Rwby- Yang using increasingly bad puns and pick up lines with Blake. Also, the pick up lines aren’t mine. Thank the internet.
> 
> I hope you all had a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. You can look forward to many more chapters of A Dose of RWBY this year!
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	101. Caught Out

**Caught Out**

Blake was doing her very best to avoid drawing attention to herself as she walked into a store that specialised in aids of a – ahem – sexual nature. It wasn’t like she and Yang had a boring sex life – far from it – but there were a few things they wanted to try that involved more… exotic equipment, and this store was supposed to have an exceptionally broad and thorough range.

At least… that was according to Nora, and Blake had really, really not wanted to know more than that. 

However, Blake had only just gone through the doors when she bumped into someone. The two of them tumbled to the ground.

“I’m sorry – Velvet!” Blake blurted, the last word coming out as something that was part squeak and part shriek.

The panicked rabbit Faunus tried to hide behind something, but there was nowhere for her to hide.

“Blake?” Velvet finally managed to say. “Uh…”

“What are you doing here?” Blake asked.

Velvet turned a shade of red that should have been physically impossible. “Um… you know…”

“No, I don’t know.”

Velvet gulped and then mustered her courage. “Well… what about you? What are you doing here?”

Now Blake was the one turning an anatomically impossible shade of red. “You… uh… you know…”

The two of them looked at each other. Almost as one, their ears drooped.

“I’m here because Yang wanted me to get a few things.”

“Oh.” Velvet scratched the back of her head. “I’m here because Coco wanted me to copy everything in the store.”

“Copy?” Blake frowned. “You mean… like you do with weapons?”

Velvet nodded.

“Everything in the store?”

Velvet nodded again while quite pointedly looking away. “Um… Coco can be very creative.”

“I see.” Blake cleared her throat and got to her feet, helping Velvet up. “Well, um, good luck.” She reached down and handed Velvet the bag she’d dropped, but she couldn’t stop herself from peeking inside. “Lubricant?”

Velvet yelped. “I can’t copy things like that!” And then she snatched the bag back from Blake and ran down the street with impressive speed while yelling a goodbye over her shoulder.

Blake could only nod as Velvet vanished into the distance. Looking around the store, she could understand why Velvet had bought a lot of lubricant. Some of the things in this store were, quite frankly, impossible to use without it.

“The things I do for Yang,” Blake muttered. “Or should that be… the things I do… to do Yang?” She slapped her forehead. “Damn it, I’m spending too much time around Yang. I’m even starting to sound like her.” Her gaze drifted to the far end of the store. “Hmm… maybe I should get a gag. Yang does talk too much – and a whip too. Heh. That’ll show her who’s in charge.”

X X X  
 **  
Omake: Whiplash  
**  
“Hey, Blake,” Ruby said. “Why do you have a whip under your bed?”

It was a miracle that Blake didn’t choke on her coffee. It was also a miracle that most of her coffee didn’t end up all over Weiss’s face when her embarrassment turned her into a Blake-shaped coffee fountain.

“What… what do you mean?” Blake looked about shiftily. They were in the middle of the cafeteria. Who else had heard? Who did she have to kill to keep this quiet?

“Well, I dropped one of my textbooks near your bed when I was studying, and when I reached down to get it, I found your –”

Blake reached over and clamped one hand over Ruby’s mouth. “Quiet,” she hissed. “Just… quiet.” Slowly, she removed her hand. “Ruby, that is something very private that you can never talk about. Ever.”

Weiss’s eye twitched. She was still less than happy about almost being covered in Blake’s coffee. “Oh, please, Blake. We all know how kinky you are.”

“…”

Ruby perked up. “Oh… is it for that?” She made a whipping motion. “So you’re like… putting Yang in her place and letting her know who’s in charge, right?”

Blake stared at Ruby as if she’d grown a second head. “What?”

“Well, it’s kind of like what I do with Weiss –”

“Ruby!” Weiss shrieked, covering Ruby’s mouth with one hand. “I thought we agreed never to speak of that to anyone else!”

Ruby shrugged. “Mph… mph… mpmphh.” 

“Not one more word,” Weiss snapped. Her gaze moved to where Yang was walking toward their table with her food. “And nobody say anything.” Her eyes narrowed ominously at Blake. “Say one word to Yang…”

“I’ll keep quiet,” Blake replied. “But you two better not say a word about me and Yang to anyone else.”

“Agreed.”

Naturally, the moment Yang sat down, Ruby couldn’t help herself. She grinned at Yang and started making whipping motions all while making cat noises.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> This chapter was based on a prompt suggested by madwolf023 prompts over on Tumblr. If you do want to send me any prompts or suggestions, I’m always happy to receive them although I can’t guarantee that I’ll use them. Send them over to me on Tumblr (I go by Razieltwelve).
> 
> Anyway, this chapter is just a bit of risqué silliness because, come on, who hasn’t wondered what else Velvet can copy? And, hey, why not have Blake cracking a whip? And trust Team RWBY to accidentally make everything super awkward.
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	102. Bed Repair

**Bed Repair**

“I fail to see why we need to help you fix your bed.”

Yang gave Weiss her winningest smile. “Because you two are my beloved teammates. Plus, Ruby is my sister, and you’re my sister-in-law, Weiss.”

“You could just buy a new bed,” Weiss said as she eyed the hammer in her hand distastefully. Maybe she could bash Yang over the head with it the next time she turned around. “And you do realise that I’m terrible at carpentry.”

“Oh, you can’t be that bad.”

“There’s a reason that I hire people to do my home maintenance, Yang, and it’s not just because I’m outrageously wealthy.” Weiss sighed. “But if you insist, I suppose I can help you fix your bed.”

“Thank you.” Yang gave Weiss an exaggerated bow. “And I’ve already ordered a new bed, but it’ll take them at least a week to get the one I want delivered.”

“How did you break the bed, anyway?” Weiss asked. “It looks to have been quite sturdy.”

Ruby, who had been poking at the broken pieces of the bed, scratched the back of her neck. “Weiss, I’m not sure you want to know the answer to that. I mean… think about it.”

Weiss froze. “Are you telling me that you want me to help you fix a bed that you broke because of your… your sexual marathons of wild carnality with my older sister and Blake?”

Yang pretended to think very hard about it. “Yes, that is exactly what I want you to do.” She smirked. “And sexual marathons of wild carnality? I wouldn’t say we’re like that. Oh, whom am I kidding? That’s totally how we are.”

“Yang!” Weiss shoved Yang and then jerked away from the bed. “Please, tell me that you washed the sheets before we got here.” She turned several shades of green. “Oh, Dust, who knows what you three have been doing on this thing.”

“Oh, relax, Weiss.” Ruby put one arm around her. “I mean it’s not like we can talk. After all, our new bed only came in last month.”

Yang’s eyes gleamed. “What’s this about a new bed?”

“No!” Weiss made an ‘X’ shape with her arms. “We are not having this conversation.” She bonked Ruby over the head. “And you are absolutely not sharing details about our sex life with your sister!” She rounded on Yang. “And why don’t you ask Blake and Winter to help you fix this?”

“Because I said I’d do it.” Yang grinned. “And it was sort of my fault that the bed broke since I was –”

Weiss slapped one hand over Yang’s mouth. “Not one more word. I do not want to know what you, my sister, and Blake get up to in the bedroom.”

“Well, it’s your loss,” Yang replied, prying Weiss’s hand off. “Because it’s all pretty damn awesome.”

Ruby put her hand up. “Hey, Yang, I have a question. Does Winter do this thing when you – mphhh!”

Weiss whacked Ruby over the head with a pillow before throwing the pillow away like it was on fire. Who knew what the pillow had been involved in? “What did I just say, Ruby?”

“Well,” Ruby replied. “I was just wondering if it was a Weiss-specific reaction or a Schnee-specific reaction. Since I don’t plan on getting into bed with Winter, this is the only way I can find out. And it is really kind of hot when you –”

“RUBY!” Weiss took a deep breath. “We are not going to talk about this anymore. We are going to fix this bed, and then we’re going to get some lunch. During the fixing of the bed, we will talk about only sensible topics like upcoming missions and current events.”

“Jeez,” Yang said. “You sure know how to take the fun out of things although you must be pretty fun in the bedroom –” Yang trailed off as she found herself staring down the length of Weiss’s rapier.

“Yang, you are my teammate and sister-in-law, but I will kill you if you keep talking.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> Because I secretly ship Yang/Blake/Winter. But seriously, what kind of sister-in-law would Weiss be if she didn’t help Yang? A smart one, that’s what.
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	103. A Little Romance

**A Little Romance**

“Ruby, I have a business proposal that I’d like you to consider.”

“A business proposal, Weiss?” Ruby grinned. “Today? You do know it’s Valentine’s Day, right?”

“Yes, Ruby, today.” Weiss handed Ruby the file. “Please, read it and let me know what you think.”

Ruby had only gotten a few lines in when her lips began to twitch. “Weiss… this doesn’t seem like a business proposal even if you’ve formatted it like one.”

“Is that so…?”

“It says that you want complete romantic exclusivity.” Ruby glanced at Weiss, struggling to hide a smile. “On a permanent and ongoing basis.”

“You would be adequately compensated by the pleasure of my company,” Weiss replied archly. “And I’ve been told that my company is very pleasurable.”

“Yeah… it is.” Ruby chuckled as Weiss blushed.

“Ruby! You know that’s not what I meant!”

“Well, it’s what I meant.” Ruby continued to read. “You also want us to cohabit permanently.”

“It would be the most efficient thing to do given our circumstances.”

“And you’d like us to, and I quote ‘consider the possibility of progeny’.”

“Two or three would be preferable although I’m open to having more or less depending on your opinion.”

Ruby raised one eyebrow. “You would also like to make this commitment public through the holding of a formal ceremony and the display of matching rings.” Ruby put the file down. “Weiss… are you asking me to marry you?”

The Schnee made a face. “Maybe… are you saying yes or no?”

“And you call me a dork,” Ruby teased before leaning across the table to kiss Weiss’s lips. “But, yes, I’m saying yes.” Her eyes twinkled. “But you’ll have to add a few clauses to the contract.”

“Whatever you want.”

“I didn’t read anything in there about cookies or strawberries. Add something.”

“I’ll buy you the world’s biggest bakery and the world’s biggest strawberry farm.”

“There also wasn’t anything in there about marital relations.” Ruby smiled at Weiss. It was a distinctly toothy smile. “There definitely needs to be something in there about that.”

“I could, ahem, add something to that effect too. What were you thinking?”

“Hmm…” Ruby tapped Weiss’s cheek. “I was thinking a lot.”

“A lot?”

“Yeah, a lot.”

“Uh… how much is a lot?”

Ruby leaned across the table again. “How about I show you?”

“Um…”

X X X

“Hmm… Weiss’s office is locked.” Blake frowned. “I wonder if she went home…” The Faunus trailed off as her keen hearing picked up on some very distinct sounds. “Nope. She definitely didn’t go home, and neither did Ruby.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> I’m back, and I’d like to apologise. I wrote this for Valentine’s Day, and I thought I’d already uploaded it. Apparently, I didn’t, so it’s about a week late. Oops. Hopefully, you enjoyed it. I know Weiss did.
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	104. An Eye for an Eye

**An Eye for an Eye**

It occurred to Adam that perhaps he’d made a mistake in cutting off Yang’s arm. Certainly, hers wasn’t the first arm that he’d cut off. Maybe that was why Blake had left him? She’d always been squeamish about dismemberment.

And Yang did come from a family that strongly believed in transforming weapons. Her uncle and her sister also liked to fight with scythes, so subtlety was clearly not something her family did well. And there was also the fact that Yang was friends with the Schnee heiress. 

In retrospect, it should have been obvious that Yang would show up with an arm that also transformed into some kind of Dust-augmented death ray capable of levelling several city blocks in a single attack when fuelled by that ridiculous Semblance of hers.

Yes, it should have been obvious, but he’d missed it.

He wasn’t missing it now.

In fact, he was currently praying very hard that she would miss.

“You know,” Yang drawled, the aforementioned transforming arm/death ray pointed squarely in Adam’s direction. “I’ve never believed in an eye for an eye.” She smirked. “Or an arm for an arm, but I think I’ll make an exception for you.”

The death ray began to hum as the most advanced Dust technology in the world combined with Yang’s Semblance to produce a blast of plasma so hot that it made lava feel like ice cream. Indeed, the cutting-edge Atlas technology had been something that Atlas hadn’t quite been able to slip into Penny’s design prior to her unfortunate end.

The end result was a flare of plasma that was several times as hot as the surface of the sun. It consumed everything in its path with the same voracious hunger that Ruby would have consumed a strawberry-topped cookie with. Adam, as magnificently skilled as he was with a blade, found himself at a distinct disadvantage because:

a) He wasn’t plasma proof.  
b) He wasn’t plasma proof.  
c) He really, really wasn’t plasma proof.

It took almost an hour for the massive swathe of destruction that Yang had created to cool down enough for her to walk over to where Adam had been. Her arm was once again an arm. There was a shadow seared into the melted earth that told her that Adam had gotten precisely three steps before being obliterated by her attack.

“I could have forgiven you for cutting my arm off,” Yang murmured. “If that was all you’d done, I’d have been happy simply returning the favour. But you made Blake cry, and that… well, I couldn’t let that go.” She turned and walked away. “Now, I wonder if they’ve found Cinder yet. I owe her one for Pyrrha.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> In honour of Yang getting a new arm. May her return be awesome, and may her enemies be, well, dead. 
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	105. Ruby Reviews… Weiss

**Ruby Reviews… Weiss**

Hi, I’m Ruby. 

Welcome to the first episode of ‘Ruby Reviews…’. Today, I’ll be looking at Weiss. So… how does Weiss stack up?

If you’re looking for someone frosty on the outside and warm on the inside, then you need to go get yourself a Weiss. 

With a refined, elegant exterior, Weiss has mastered the fine art of looking down her nose at you in a way that is both endearing and aggravating. She can be counted on to always have her homework done (early and perfectly), giving her plenty of time to scold you about all of your homework, assignments, and basically anything related to academics.

Each Weiss also comes with one Myrtenaster. If you need to get something stabbed or blown up with an extravagant display of Dust-wielding skill, then Weiss can probably do it for you. She also comes in a stylish combat skirt, which combines form and functionality perfectly.

To care for your Weiss, you need to be able to put up with her prickly nature. She would rather die of blood loss than admit she needs help, and you will have to work hard to get her to trust you, especially if you used to belong to a former terrorist group that was out to wipe out her family. 

However, once you get your Weiss to trust you, you can rely on her to help you in any way she can. She doesn’t have a lot of friends, so she treasures the ones she does have. And even though she doesn’t seek out physical affection much, she won’t exactly refuse when you dish some out although she will probably grumble about how unseemly it is, all while hugging you back.

All in all, if you’re willing to put in the work, Weiss makes an ideal friend (or possibly more). The only downside is that she comes with some baggage. In particular, your Weiss comes with an awesome sister (Winter) but also a less than stellar father and brother. If you can ignore those two (or possibly have them quietly removed…), then you’ll be free to enjoy your Weiss to your heart’s content.

Or not.

Because she’s mine.

In short: Weiss is a 10/10, would friend/marry again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> Obviously, Weiss is a 10/10. Who (or what) will Ruby review next?
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	106. The Price

**The Price**

Prosperous was the kingdom of Atlas, greatest in all the world. Vast were its armies, and full to overflowing were its treasuries. For the kingdom was blessed by one of the gods. Indeed, they were blessed by amongst the mightiest of all the gods. They were blessed by Death. Far could Death’s eyes see, and the fates of all were known to her and no trick or lie could deceive her. She whispered in the ears of the kings and queens of Atlas, shared wisdom and knowledge that made them wise beyond all others. To the warriors of Atlas, she taught her ways – the ways of Death – and no army could stand before them.

Yet Death was not without her own demands. She was one of the gods, and she required tribute. Now and then, she would speak to the priests and priestesses of her temple, and they would bring her words to the rulers of the kingdom.

Sometimes, her demands were great. One queen built a vast garden in Death’s name and filled it with roses of every colour. Sometimes, he demands were small. One king passed a law giving safe haven to any crow that found its way into the palace. Yet no ruler ever disregarded Death’s demands, no matter of grand or silly they could be. Death was a god. Who were mortals to wonder at her intentions? Who were mortals to show such ingratitude to the one who had given them the greatest kingdom in the world?

And then Death made a most unusual demand.

In eighteen years, the king and queen would give her the greatest treasure in the kingdom.

Or else.

At first, the king and queen were puzzled. What was the kingdom’s greatest treasure? Was it the gold, silver, and precious jewels that filled their treasuries? Surely not. Death had no need for such things, and the divine metals and jewels of the gods were far more valuable than earthly metals like gold or silver.

Was it the land the kingdom possessed? It could not be. Death was already acknowledged as the sovereign of the kingdom, with the kings and queens acting as regents in her stead.

What then could Death want?

Some spoke of the couple’s daughter, Winter, but the priests and priestesses did not think it likely. As much joy as Winter had brought her parents, Death would surely have made her demand sooner, for Winter had already seen the passage of several years.

Later that year, the queen gave birth to a second daughter, and the king knew, then and there, what Death wanted. Yet he could not bring himself to admit the truth, so he went to the priests and priestesses and spoke to them too. All of them looked upon the newborn and agreed. For the girl, Weiss, to be born so soon after Death had made her demand could only mean one thing.

Weiss belonged to Death.

Years passed, and the time came when Weiss would be given to Death. The king and queen grieved mightily, yet what could they do? The kingdom owed all that it was to Death. To defy Death could bring ruin to them all, or worse, Death might call upon her sister. If Yang, ruler of dragons and goddess of battle, fury, and the sun, were to turn her ire upon Atlas… the kingdom would be no more.

Weiss did her best to comfort her parents, saying, “We have always known that this would happen. Death is not so cruel, or so the stories say, and there are worse fates than being given to a god. Besides, what is my life compared to the many? Is it not the duty of a ruler to sacrifice themselves for their people? If I can keep Death’s favour, then my life will not have been in vain.”

X X X

Ruby – better known to mortals as Death, the End of All Things and the Harbinger of Ultimate Doom and Gloom – skipped into her temple. She had to hand it to Atlas. They liked to build things big, and they built them well. Sure, the temple couldn’t hold a candle to what the gods were capable of, but it was excellent for mortal work.

The time had finally come for her to collect on that little demand she’d made a few years ago. She paused. Wait… it had been a bit longer than a few years ago. Oh well. What was time to someone like her?

As she reached the inner sanctum of her temple, she could barely stop herself from salivating. Oh, she’d been waiting for so long for this. She was going to enjoy eating those –

Huh.

There was a mortal in her inner sanctum. Her brows furrowed. It was the second princess of the kingdom. She was also wearing an elaborate robe… and nothing else.

Wait.

What?

What?

“Great Death,” Weiss intoned formally as she bowed low to the ground. “I present myself to you in accordance with your demands. I am yours to do with as you please. Simply ask it of me, and I –”

“Why are you here?” Ruby asked. “And could you stop untying that robe?” She winced. “Aren’t you cold not wearing anything under that? You mortals get cold pretty easily.” She conjured a cloak and tossed it at Weiss. “Put that on.”

“…” Weiss’s mouth opened and closed. “If I have displeased you, Great Death, then –”

“Seriously, why are you here?” Ruby was feeling a bit cranky now. This wasn’t going according to plan at all.

“Because… because you asked for me, Great Death. You demanded the kingdom’s greatest treasure and…”

“Oh.” Ruby covered her face with one hand. “Oh. Wow. This is… yeah.” She took a deep breath. “Are you familiar with the bakery about fifteen minutes from the palace?”

Weiss nodded slowly. “Uh… yes, Great Death. They make excellent cookies.”

“They make the best cookies in the mortal world,” Ruby corrected. “What I wanted was a chamber full of those cookies.”

“…” Weiss stared. “Are you serious?” She’d lost all sense of propriety. “Are you serious?” she bellowed.

“Well, yeah. Isn’t it obvious that cookies are the greatest treasure in the kingdom? I mean the baker was still a kid when I made my demand, but I knew he’d grow up into something special so –”

“AHHH!” Weiss screamed. “I’ve spent my whole life thinking I was going to become your… your slave or your… your concubine or… or something… and all you wanted were some cookies?”

Ruby winced. “You should stop shouting. It echoes in here.”

“I am not going to stop shouting!” Weiss screeched. “Do you have any idea what my life has been like? I… I… AAHHHHH”

Ruby shrugged. “Well, you know, if your father wasn’t sure what I wanted he could always have asked my priests to ask me for clarification.”

“There are no words…” Weiss muttered. “No words…” She shook her head and then froze. “Wait. I just yelled at you. I yelled at a god. I yelled at Death.” Her blood turned to ice. “We’re going to die. You’re going to smite us, and we’re all going to die!”

“Hey, relax.” Ruby handed Weiss a paper bag. “You’re hyperventilating. Just use that. That’s it. Breathe. You’re not supposed to die yet, so it would be quite inconvenient if you dropped dead now.”

Weiss finally managed to calm herself. “So… what now?”

“Hmm… well… I still want those cookies.” Ruby grinned. “Get me those cookies, and we’ll call it even.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> I thought this would be an appropriate snippet to put up given the date (1st April). Poor Weiss. Oh, well. Given that White Rose is a recurring theme, I’m sure she’ll end up with Ruby somehow, at which point Ruby’s demand becomes true (because to her, Weiss would then become the kingdom’s greatest treasure). But Weiss better get moving. Ruby wants those cookies, and it would be a shame if she had to call in Yang. Or maybe Yang is distracted dealing with something – or someone – else.
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	107. Short Shorts

**Short Shorts**

“What are you wearing?” Weiss blurted.

Ruby stopped reading her book and rolled across her bed, so she could kick her legs up and down while sitting on the edge. “What do you mean?”

“I mean those.” Weiss gestured vaguely at Ruby’s lower half.

“These?” Ruby blinked. “These are my shorts. I haven’t worn them since last summer, but it’s been hot lately.”

The weather, Weiss thought, was not the only thing that was hot. Last summer, there had been nothing wrong with Ruby’s short whatsoever. But the other girl had undergone a growth spurt that had seen her race past Weiss in height. And thanks to that same growth spurt, the once harmless shorts were now distractingly short.

“Uh… Weiss?”

Weiss gulped. Why hadn’t she noticed how great Ruby’s legs were before? Was she blind? Because, really, they were great. They were long and toned and –

“Weiss?” 

Weiss shook herself. “Yes, Ruby?”

“Are you feeling okay? You were kind of staring off into space there for a moment.”

“I’m fine.” Weiss cleared her throat. She had not been staring off into space. No, she’d been staring at Ruby’s legs, those wonderful, long… no. Bad, Weiss. Very bad. But maybe bad was good? After all, Ruby was the leader, and she’d have to punish misbehaving members of her team – no. Bad. Bad. Good? “Anyway, Ruby, perhaps you should consider getting a new pair of shorts. You have become, well, taller over the past year.”

Ruby nodded to herself. “Yeah… yeah, I have. Maybe I’ll ask Yang to go shopping with me tomorrow.”

“That would be a good idea, I think.”

Wrong.

It was not a good idea.

It was a supremely bad idea.

It was the kind of idea that would drive Weiss insane.

Yang, horribly mischievous person that she was, must have noticed all of Weiss’s staring because she brought Ruby back with a pair of even shorter shorts.

“You can thank me later,” Yang teased as Weiss tried not to stare.

“You are a terrible person.” Weiss wanted to glare at Yang, but she was too busy staring at Ruby. Good grief. If Ruby bent over, then Weiss would be able to see her – Weiss closed her eyes and turned on her heel. She would not lower herself to ogling her teammate’s posterior. She would not –

Ruby bent over.

And Weiss went right back to staring.

Damn it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> Good, old reliable Weiss. If there’s a Ruby to ogle, she’ll be there. And trust Yang to make the situation worse.
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	108. Night Light

**Night Light**

Ruby had just finished tucking her daughter in – and searching her for any cookies since it wouldn’t have been the first time the little girl hid a cookie for a midnight snack – when Luna reached out and tugged on her sleeve.

“Can you stay until I fall asleep?” Luna asked.

Ruby smiled. “Sure. Just let me turn off the light.”

“But I don’t like it when it’s dark…” Luna made a face. “What if there’s a monster in my closet?”

“Luna, I can promise you that there isn’t a monster in your closet.” Ruby grinned. “And even if there was one, do you really think your mom or I would let it hurt you?” Ruby patted Crescent Rose affectionately. 

“I guess…” Luna gave Ruby a hopeful look. “Can you… do the eye thing, mommy?”

Ruby sighed. She should have seen this coming. She switched off the light, and the room was cast into darkness – but only for a moment. Ruby closed her eyes. When she opened them again, her silver eyes lit up, and the room was filled with radiance.

“Thanks, mommy!” Luna closed her eyes and did her best to drift off to sleep.

“The things I do for you,” Ruby murmured with a faint smile, her eyes still glowing brightly. “But I have to wonder… can I get eye strain if I do this for too long?”

X X X  
 **  
Omake: Flashlight  
**  
“Damn it,” Yang muttered. “That Grimm broke the spare flashlight. How are we supposed to get through this cave now?”

Blake snickered. “I would like to point out that as a cat Faunus, I can see in the dark.”

“Yeah, yeah, laugh it up. Do you have any idea how long it’ll take for us to get through the cave if you have to hold our hands the whole way through?”

“I think you’re both forgetting something,” Weiss said. “We still have another flashlight.”

“What? That was our spare. Did you pack another one?” Yang asked.

“Well, no.” Weiss smiled in the darkness. “But we’ve got… Ruby.”

“Weiss…” Ruby grumbled. “I am not a flashlight.”

“Just do it, Ruby.”

A second later, bright light filled the cave.

“Wow.” Yang shrugged. “You know, sis, I think Weiss is right. You are a flashlight.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> I’m back again! Seriously, though, there are two reasons I haven’t posted that much over the past month. First of all, I’ve been working on my original fiction. And second of all, I’ve been watching the NBA playoffs. I won’t get into the specifics of it here, but suffice it to say that I’m a San Antonio Spurs fan, so these playoffs have been very stressful.
> 
> Anyway, there’s nothing quite like a bit of silver-eyed awesomeness to light the way. And you just know that Weiss and Luna (Ruby and Weiss’s daughter) have Ruby wrapped around their fingers.
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	109. Jealousy

**Jealousy**

“I don’t like your new assistant.”

Weiss put down the report she’d been reviewing to stare at the irate huntress in front of her. Ruby was actually quite adorable when she was mad, especially when she pouted and waved her scythe around. Well, Weiss thought so. It wouldn’t surprise her if most people found arguably the most dangerous huntress in the world waving around one of the most dangerous weapons in the world to be quite terrifying. Then again, Weiss had seen Ruby gorging on cookies. It was hard to find someone terrifying after she’d seen then practically inhaling baked goods.

“And what exactly is wrong with my new assistant?” Weiss made sure to raise one eyebrow in a manner perfectly designed to express her scepticism. Ruby called it her ‘weirdo eyebrow thing’.

“Have you even looked at her?” Ruby reached for one of the cookies that Weiss always kept around due to how often Ruby dropped by her office. Honestly, she should start keeping some milk around too because the first thing Ruby usually did after stealing a cookie was look for the nearest fridge to steal some milk from.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“I liked your old assistant better.” Ruby pouted. “She always left extra cookies out for me. She even left milk out too. Your new assistant…” Ruby searched for the right word. “Your new assistant sucks.”

“She sucks?” Weiss raised her eyebrow again in patented fashion (actually, it wasn’t patented, mainly because she’d copied the expression from Winter) at Ruby’s odd turn of phrase. “Ruby, you need to enlighten me because, to the best of my knowledge, my new assistant has been fine.”

“Okay.” Ruby folded her arms across her chest. Weiss almost smiled in appreciation. Ruby had developed a very nice chest. It was a shame it was currently so well covered. “The first problem is that she’s always around you.”

“Ruby, she’s my assistant. She can’t do her job if she isn’t around me a lot.” Weiss paused. “That’s why she’s called my personal assistant.”

Ruby’s eyes narrowed ever so slightly. That small change shifted her expression from cutely annoyed to sexily angry. “The second problem is that she’s… she’s…”

“She’s what?”

“She’s…” Ruby huffed and looked away. “She’s pretty.”

“Oh?” Weiss had to bite back a chuckle. She understood now. Her previous assistant had been someone who had worked with her father for many years. Mrs Sapphire had been a firm but kind woman of sixty-five who’d done an excellent job as Weiss’s assistant after Weiss had seized control of the company. However, she had retired, which meant Weiss had been forced to hire a new personal assistant. 

To avoid the problem of having to deal with another retirement any time soon, Weiss had opted for someone younger who nevertheless possessed the necessary skills and experience to serve as her assistant. Ms Pearl was twenty-five, a cat Faunus, and a rising star in the company. Weiss was more than happy with her performance thus far, and she had every intention of keeping her around. The fact that her father hadn’t liked her choice at all had only added to her satisfaction.

Ms Pearl was also, apparently, pretty.

“I suppose she is,” Weiss murmured, trying very hard not to smile as Ruby’s expression darkened.

Ruby scowled. “So… you have noticed!”

“Ruby, I’m not blind.” Weiss sighed. “She is, by most objective standards, fairly attractive. But, no, I’m not attracted to her. Why would I be? I’ve got you.”

Ruby’s mouth opened and closed several times until Weiss reached over to close it. 

“Ruby, you are my girlfriend, and I am very, very happy with you. I have absolutely no reason to look elsewhere, nor do I intend to look elsewhere.” Weiss’s lips twitched. “And, if you must know, I’m not particularly attracted to office workers. I find to happen huntresses with big, scary weapons very sexy.”

Ruby nodded slowly. She growled. “So… you like Nora?”

“Ruby!” Weiss gave her girlfriend a gentle bonk over the head. “Stop being obtuse.”

Ruby’s lips quirked up into an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry, Weiss. I just… I’ve been on a lot of missions lately, and I… well… I get a little bit insecure sometimes. What if… what if you find somebody better than me?”

“Come here.” Weiss eased her chair away from her desk and patted her lap. Ruby wasted no time in zipping over to her. “Ruby, I knew exactly what I was getting into when I decided to go out with you. I am very happy with you, and you know me, if I wasn’t happy, I would say something.”

Ruby chuckled. “You can complain a lot.” Weiss gave her a flat look. “Uh, forget I said that.”

“Anyway,” Weiss said. “You can rest assured that you have no competition. There’s really no way anybody could ever compete with you. You’re the only one for me.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

“Really really?”

“Yes, Ruby, really really.”

Ruby held out her pinky finger. “Pinky swear?”

“Ruby, I am not going to pinky swear over something like this.” Weiss smiled gently and tugged on Ruby’s ring finger. “If you want a promise, then I can promise you that I’ll be putting a ring on this finger soon. Just give me a little more time.”

Ruby’s eyes widened, and she yanked Weiss into a kiss. “You’d better.”

“Yes, well, you know us Schnees. We never break our promises. You’re stuck with me forever.”

They were about to enjoy another kiss when there was a knock on the door of Weiss’s office. They shared a look. They’d have to wait until later. At least, they’d heard the knock. They weren’t going to have another Desk Incident although, to her credit, Mrs Sapphire had simply smiled and said that she knew what that it was like to be young, in love, and breaking furniture while showing that love. Then she’d closed the door and waited a good hour before knocking again.

“Come in,” Weiss said as Ruby climbed off her lap.

It was her assistant.

“Another report, Ms Schnee.” Ms Pearl smiled. “It’s the analysis of the new Dust strike in the western region.”

“Ah, thank you.” Weiss nodded at Ruby. “You’ve met Ruby before, haven’t you?”

Her assistant nodded. “Yes.” She smiled again, this time at Ruby. “How are you?”

Ruby’s eyes narrowed menacingly. “I’m watching you.”

“Uh… right…” Ms Pearl blinked and then cleared her throat. “I… I’ll have another look at those performance reviews you wanted to check.”

Ruby watched her all the way to door, doing her best to glare her to death. Weiss found the expression adorable. Based on the way Ms Pearl all but ran for the door, the same could not be said for her assistant.

Weiss waited until she and Ruby were alone before laughing. “Ruby!”

“Hey,” Ruby replied, going back to Weiss and settling onto her lap. “I’m just letting her know how it is.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> First of all, Happy Mother’s Day! I hope you all had a good one.
> 
> So… possessive Ruby is best Ruby? Maybe? Probably? Yeah? Heh. Anyway, as much fun as I have writing possessive Weiss, I think possessive Ruby can be quite fun too especially since as adorable as Team RWBY might find Ruby and her scythe, normal people are more likely to be terrified of her and Crescent Rose.
> 
> I’ve also just released some more original fiction on Amazon (you can find me on Amazon as L. G. Estrella). It’s called Divine Assistance, and it’s a collection of short stories about the gods and their attempts to ‘manage’ Creation. As you can imagine (given that it’s me), there’s a lot of humour, warmth, and action. If you’ve liked the god AU snippets from A Dose of RWBY, you’ll like Divine Assistance too.
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	110. Tough Choices

**Tough Choices**

Ruby trudged back toward the apartment that she and Weiss shared. Her mission hadn’t been particularly difficult, but it had been very long and very, very boring. She was ready to just crash into bed for the evening. She wasn’t even that hungry. She could get something to eat tomorrow.

However, all thoughts of simply crashing into bed vanished when she opened the door.

The smell of freshly baked cookies and fresh strawberries filled the air. Weiss, wearing an apron and not much else, smiled at her.

“So, you’re back. What would like first, Ruby? Dessert, a bath, or me?”

Ruby didn’t have to be asked twice, and her answer was very simple: Weiss with dessert, Weiss in the bath, and an extra helping of Weiss because why not?

X X X  
 **  
Omake: Oops  
**  
Blake and Yang stared at Weiss.

“So…” Yang said. “Do you normally answer the door in just an apron?”

Blake sniffed the air. “Cookies and strawberries. I don’t think she was expecting us, Yang.”

“Oh, I get it.” Yang waggled her eyebrows suggestively. “Going to give Ruby a dose of cookies, strawberries, and Weiss?”

Weiss tried to glare. Alas, her glare was less than intimidating given her attire. “Shut up.”

“Well, don’t let us get in the way,” Yang said, bowing extravagantly. “I was thinking the four of us could go out to dinner when Ruby gets back, but I think she’ll be eating in tonight.”

Weiss’s blush allowed her to do a pretty good impression of a strawberry.

“Come on.” Yang tugged Blake out the door. “The two of us can have dinner.”

Blake took one more look at Weiss before letting Yang tug her out the door. “By the way,” Blake murmured pressing herself against Yang. “Why don’t you ever greet me like that after a mission?”

“Hmm…” Yang grinned impishly. “I suppose that can be arranged.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> What do you think of Ruby’s choice? Heh. I daresay most people would choose the same.
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	111. Injury Assessment

**Injury Assessment**

“Weiss!” Ruby cried. “Let me see your leg!”

Weiss barely managed to yelp before she found herself on the ground with Ruby paying very close attention to her leg. It did not help matters – or Weiss’s dignity – much at all when Ruby shifted to put her ankle on her shoulder, so she could run her hands down Weiss’s leg.

“Ruby!” Weiss hissed. “What are you doing?” Her voice may or may not have come out as something halfway between a shriek and a squawk when one of Ruby’s hands brushed over a particularly sensitive spot.

“That Grimm clipped you with one of its attack.” Ruby leaned forward, and her breath brushed against the inside of Weiss’s knee. “I need to make sure that you’re okay.”

“It missed!” Weiss growled. “Are you blind? It was close, sure, but it definitely missed.”

“Oh.” Ruby nodded firmly. “Oh, well, I’d better take a closer look then – just to be sure.”

“Ruby!”

“Hey!” Yang shouted as she and Blake pummelled a particularly large and vicious-looking Grimm. “If you two are going to get busy, can you wait until after all of the Grimm are dead? The only screaming I want to hear in the next fifteen minutes is from the Grimm you kill. Got it?”

X X X  
 **  
Omake: Injury Prevention  
**  
Weiss’s eye twitched. “Ruby, what are you doing?”

Ruby gave Weiss a sunny smile and continued to do exactly what she’d been doing for the past ten minutes. “I’m giving you a massage to minimise the risk of injury in upcoming battles.”

“I see.” Weiss paused. “And that necessitates you removing most of my clothing, does it?”

“Well, I can hardly give you a proper massage if you’ve got all your clothes on, Weiss. It’s just common sense.” 

“And how does that explain you removing most of your clothes as well?”

Ruby nodded sagely. “I thought you’d be more comfortable if you weren’t the only one missing a bit of clothing.”

Weiss sighed. “Ruby, you really don’t have to be so round about all of this. If you want to do… that, then just say so.”

Ruby grinned. “Okay, let’s do… that right now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> Because Ruby attempting to be sneaky is the best.
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	112. Chocolate Spread

**Chocolate Spread**

“Ruby, have you seen the chocolate spread?” Yang shouted as she rummaged through the cupboards of the kitchen. It was nice sharing an apartment with her teammates, but the kitchen had become a bit of a battle zone. All of them had their own ideas of how things should be arranged, and they had yet to settle on a common system. At least, they had two showers in the apartment. If they’d only had one shower, she was fairly certain that at least one of them would be in jail for murder – probably Weiss. She could get really crabby if someone cut into her shower time. “Ruby?”

No reply was forthcoming, and Yang’s brows furrowed. She could have sworn that Ruby was home. She hadn’t actually seen her sister, but she’d seen Ruby’s favourite boots on the shoe rack by the front door. Ruby almost always wore those boots when she went out. Was she taking a nap or something?

“Ruby?” Yang shouted again. “Ruby, have you seen the chocolate spread?”

Thanks to the keen senses she’d developed as a huntress, Yang was able to pick up the sounds of muffled cursing that came from Ruby’s bedroom. More to the point, she was able to pick up on the fact that the muffled cursing came from two people not one. Her eyes gleamed. How interesting. If Ruby wasn’t alone in her bedroom, then Yang had a pretty good idea of who was in there with her.

“Weiss,” Yang said as a truly wicked thought occurred to her. Either Weiss was getting more adventurous, or Ruby was more creative than Yang had given her credit for. “Are you and Ruby using the chocolate spread?” She ambled over to Ruby’s bedroom and knocked on the door. It took everything she had to keep from laughing as she heard the pair scurrying around inside the bedroom. “Come on, guys. I know you’re in there. I can hear you.”

There was some more scuffling from inside – along with the sound of someone bumping into something – before Ruby finally emerged with a jar of chocolate spread in one hand. There actually wasn’t very much of the spread left, but that wasn’t what had caught Yang’s attention. The blonde looked down.

“You do realise that you’re not wearing any pants.” 

“…” Ruby followed Yang’s gaze. “Uh… no?”

“In fact, the only thing you’re wearing is Weiss’s business shirt, and it’s badly buttoned up and inside out.”

“…” Ruby opened her mouth to reply and then shut it before holding the jar of chocolate spread out to Yang.

“You’ve also got chocolate spread all over your mouth and on your hands.” Yang tilted her head to one side. “There’s even some on your forehead.”

“…” Ruby had gone redder than her cloak.

Yang smirked and pushed the jar back toward Ruby. “Just keep it. There’s not much left, and I don’t think I want to eat that given what you’ve been using it for.”

“That’s probably a good idea,” Ruby said at last. She fidgeted. “Uh… I’ll… I’ll buy a new one tomorrow, okay?”

“That should be fine.” Yang laughed. “And don’t forget to clean up afterward. I doubt Weiss wants to be covered in chocolate spread for too long.” She raised her voice, so Weiss could hear her. “I also expect you to buy my sister dinner, Weiss. You and chocolate sauce don’t make for much of a meal, no matter what Ruby might say.”

The string of curses that came from Weiss was enough to make Ruby blush even harder before she shut the door. Yang managed to make it back to the living room before collapsing with laughter.

Ruby never did end up buying more chocolate spread. Why? Because the very next day, Yang bought a whole box of the stuff, plonked it down on the dining table in front of Weiss at dinner, and then ran for her life. It took Blake and Ruby fifteen minutes to drag Weiss off Yang.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> Oh, Yang, such an evil, evil person. In a way they’re lucky that Blake wasn’t there too. They might actually have died of embarrassment then. Incidentally, this particular snippet went up on my tumblr (razieltwelve) at some point in April last year. The backlog remains mighty.
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	113. Magical Law Enforcement

**Magical Law Enforcement**

Yang walked into the tavern like she owned the place. For all intents and purposes, she did. Her soldiers had already surrounded the building, and she was marching in to apprehend the criminals herself. Renegade mages were such a hassle to deal with, and part of her sincerely hoped they would surrender to save her some paperwork. Another part of her, however, wanted them to fight. After all the trouble they’d caused, setting them on fire or cracking their skulls a little would definitely improve her mood.

The renegade mages were still clustered around their table when Yang blew the doors of the tavern off their hinges. Startled patrons and workers rushed out the instant they laid eyes on her. They all knew that this was likely to end in a fight, and she was infamous for property damage.

“By order of Her Royal Highness, Princess Weiss of the House of Schnee, you are hereby ordered to surrender yourselves into my custody. Failure to comply will result in your arrest by any and all means necessary, up to and including death.” Yang smiled toothily and tapped one booted foot on the floor. “So… what’ll it be?”

Their answer came in the form of a flurry of movement. One of the mages immediately lobbed a ball of fire at her. She activated her gauntlets and brushed the attack aside, absorbing the majority of the magic into her weapon to reduce the spell to little more than a ball of sparks that fizzled harmlessly against the far wall.

In the same instant, the other two renegades darted in opposite directions in a bid to split her attention between them. She chose to turn toward the one gathering lightning in his hands. As someone whose arms were covered in metal and whose body was likewise adorned with a reasonable amount of metal armour, lightning was not something she looked forward to.

The air ripped and tore, and a jagged bolt of electricity crackled toward her. The boom of thunder rang out, and Yang channelled her magic into the seals inscribed on her gauntlets to activate one of the defensive spells built into them. A radiant barrier of light rippled into existence in front of her. The lightning hit the barrier, and a brilliant blue glow filled the air as the barrier strained to withstand the attack.

Yang snarled. This guy was strong. His attack hadn’t managed to pierce the barrier, but her hair was standing on end. She fired off a cloud of flame to keep him occupied and then turned to meet the attack she knew would be aimed at her back. The renegade’s dagger skittered off her gauntlets with a screech, and she saw the eerie black and green glow of corruption magic. Interesting. A single touch from a weapon imbued with powerful corruption magic could be incredibly deadly, even for someone like her who was naturally resistant to most forms of magical attack.

As her opponent struggled to get his balance back, Yang grabbed his arm with one hand and then drew her other arm back. Magic bloomed to life around her gauntlet, an intricate matrix of heat and concussive force. The following punch shattered his magical resistance and left him a bruised, smoking heap on the other side of the room.

She caught sight of something hurtling toward her from the corner of her eye. It was the table the renegades had been eating at. She braced herself and punched it out of the air, only to be greeted by a hand wreathed in flame hot enough to melt steel. She jerked back, and the surprise attack singed the edge of her yellow cloak.

Yang grinned. That had been a good idea. The renegade must have noticed that her fire magic was stronger than his. Trying to overwhelm her with fireballs or bursts of heat wasn’t likely to work. But concentrating as much of his magic as he could into a single attack had a much higher probability of working – provided he managed to hit her.

She replied with a punch of her own, knocking him back, and then followed up with a hook to the jaw and then an uppercut that drove him into the ceiling. The ceiling cracked, and he thudded off it before toppling back to the ground. Even so, he’d managed to succeed at something: he’d given his ally, the one with lightning magic, an opening.

The lightning-wielding mage leapt at her back, a sword of pure electricity held in his hands. Even if she deployed one of her defensive spells, he was certain that he would be able to cut through it and wound her, maybe even kill her. Well, that was what he must have been thinking, and it really wasn’t that bad an idea.

Yang’s shadow quivered, and the renegade was suddenly suspended in mid-air, ribbons of liquid darkness holding him aloft. A tenebrous mist rose from Yang’s shadow, and the last thing the renegade saw before a stout blow to the head rendered him unconscious was a pair of amber eyes.

“Seriously?” Yang grumbled as stillness fell over the tavern. “I could have handled that, Blake.”

The tendrils of shadow moved, dropping the unconscious man to the floor as they wound around Yang’s body and formed an intricate symbol that stretched across her face and down past her collarbone, chest, and belly before expanding again to cover her arms and legs. The dark mist took on a more solid, humanoid form with cat ears, and a familiar chin came to rest on Yang’s shoulder.

“I doubt it.” Blake made a sound that was almost a growl. The tremor of it through Yang’s body was quite pleasant. “He would have put a nice hole in you with that sword, Yang. You should be glad I helped, especially since you know I don’t like coming out in the middle of the day.” She glared balefully at the sunlight streaming through the windows.

“Yeah, yeah,” Yang grumbled. “You Shadow Folk can be so picky.”

The intricate symbol began to fade, and Blake wrapped one arm around Yang’s middle before pressing her lips to the blonde’s cheek and then the corner of her mouth. “Be glad I picked you. Otherwise, you’d be dying on the floor.”

And then Blake was gone, retreating back into Yang’s shadow until she was needed again. Yang rolled her eyes. Blake could be so melodramatic. Oh well. Yang would have to wait until later in the afternoon before calling Blake out again. Her… partner was never happy when Yang picked fights during the middle of the day when Blake’s powers were not at their strongest.

“All right,” she shouted to the soldiers she’d stationed outside. “You guys can come in and arrest them. And for the love of Dust, make sure you put some magic suppressors on them. They’re not half bad at fighting.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> Here’s some more Yang although with a helping of Blake on the side this time. This is another one of those AUs that I have a tendency to write, the ones that kind of just pop up as a single scene I think would be interesting to write about. Then it’s a matter of reverse engineering the rest of the universe it belongs to. 
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	114. Cat Versus Dog

**Cat Versus Dog**

Blake tried to frown at Zwei. The dog’s arrival had severely reduced her cuddling time with Yang. However, it was hard to be angry with him since he was so adorable. It didn’t hurt that he was extremely cuddly himself.

No.

She had to harden her heart. She had to become like a stone. She had to teach this canine that she was the boss and that her cuddling time with Yang was not to be trifled with. Alas, all it took was a wag of his tail and a friendly smile, and she was back to square one.

“I am trying to be angry with you,” Blake muttered. “Couldn’t you be, I don’t know, more horrible? It would be so much easier to get mad at you if you ripped up my homework or something. Instead you have to be all… all…” She gestured vaguely. “Adorable.”

Zwei tilted his head to one side in truly adorable fashion and then padded over to nuzzle her leg before he hopped onto her lap and looked at her expectantly. If adorableness could be quantified, then the unit of measurement would be in milliZweis since even the most adorable creature could not compare to the canine bundle of adorableness that was currently in her lap.

“What?” Blake asked, doing her best to sound stern, even resentful.

Zwei nudged her hand.

“Oh? You want me to pat you, is that it?” Blake scoffed. “That is not happening.”

Zwei just nodded happily and nudged her hand again.

“Listen, I am not going to pat you just because you ask me to. I don’t care how adorable you are…” Blake trailed off as Zwei sighed contentedly. Her eyes widened in disbelief, and she stared at her traitorous hand. She was already patting him, and she hadn’t even realised it. “Damn it.”

“Just stop trying to fight it,” Yang drawled. The blonde was on her bed reading through one of Blake’s books. Glancing at the title, Blake sincerely hoped it gave Yang a few ideas. Some of the things in the book were tricky, but they should both be flexible enough to pull them off. Plus, Blake knew just what to tie Yang up with. “Nobody can resist the awesomeness that is Zwei. Before you know it, you’ll be taking him on walks and throwing Frisbees for him to catch.”

“I will not!”

Two days later, Blake found herself in the park throwing a Frisbee for Zwei to catch. She looked over at the dog and at the bag full of treats she’d brought along for him. “Damn it!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> Zwei is too adorable. For those who are interested one milliZwei (mZw) indicates that something is 1/1000th as adorable as Zwei. Since Zwei is more adorable than anything, nothing can score higher than 1000 mZw (except Zwei when he’s being especially adorable). Note: Ruby is the most adorable member of Team RWBY at approximately 900 mZw.
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	115. Ms Belladonna

**Ms Belladonna**

Yang was better with a set of lock picks than any sheriff had a right to be. In no time at all, she was easing the door open, nice and quiet. It wouldn’t do to give herself away. But as she peeked around the door and into the room, a smirk crossed her lips. She straightened and strode boldly into the room. There was no sense in sneaking now. She’d turned up at just the right time.

“Evening there, Ms Belladonna. I’m afraid I’m going to have to arrest you.” 

The Faunus in the wooden bathtub raised one eyebrow. The bath couldn’t have been poured more than a few minutes ago. Little trails of vapour were still rising from the tub. “You couldn’t give a lady a few moments to regain her modesty, could you, sheriff?” 

Yang’s lips curled. “I’m afraid I can’t do that, ma’am. I have a feeling you’d have your clothes on and be out that window before I could even count to ten.” She stepped fully into the room and shut the door behind her. “Now, I like to think I’m a reasonable woman although not everybody would agree. Come quietly, and we can handle this all civilised. I’ll go easy on you, and you can walk out of here on your own feet instead of me dragging you out in cuffs.” Her smirked widened. “I’ll truss you up and toss you over my shoulder if I have to. Believe me, I will.”

Blake stretched, and one long, toned leg dangled over the edge of the tub. It took every bit of willpower Yang had to keep her eyes on Blake’s face, and even that didn’t help much. Dust, she was pretty. “What makes you think you can handle me? You’re not the first sheriff to track me down, and I can promise you that you definitely won’t be the first to catch me.”

“I beg to differ. Now, finish that bath of yours. I’ve got places to be, and there’s a cell waiting for you with your name on.” Yang patted one of the pistols holstered at her side. “Come on, Belladonna. Get a move on.”

Blake grinned. “But I am finished.” She stood up, and Yang looked away.

“Put some clothes on. I’m not marching you out of here naked.”

“What’s the matter, sheriff?” Blake chuckled, and the sound sent a shiver down Yang’s spine. Why did she feel like a mouse that had just been caught by a cat? “Don’t you want to take a peek? I promise I don’t bite. Come on. Look. I know you want to.”

“I’m not sure that’s a good idea,” Yang replied, still averting her eyes. She hadn’t heard Blake step out of the tub, so she was confident she wasn’t about to run for it. “I made that mistake once with another woman, almost took a bullet for it.”

“Well, sheriff, you’ll be taking a bullet for it right now if you don’t look at me – or at least, this gun I’m pointing at you.”

This time, Yang did look. Setting aside the fact that Blake was indeed naked – and, my, that was a tough, tough thing to set aside – there really was a gun pointed straight at her. She wasn’t stupid enough to think Blake could miss at this range, not when the Faunus had given plenty of people over the years good reason not to push her. “So what now? Are you going to shoot me?”

“Oh, please, shooting sheriffs isn’t how I like to do things. That’s the sort of thing that takes you right up the most-wanted list and doubles, maybe even triples, the bounty on your head. No, you do as I say, and this’ll just be some story you tell when you’ve had too much to drink.” She nodded at the towel on the bed. “You’ll start by handing me that towel, and then you’ll get into that corner over there. I don’t want to shoot you, sheriff, but I’ll do it if I have to. I’ve still got business with the Schnees, and there’s not a man or woman alive who’ll stop me until that business is good and settled.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> Some good, old-fashioned Old West Bumblebee. Yang would make a great sheriff, I think, albeit one who makes a bit of a mess bringing people in. Blake would be the woman with a dark past and business to settle. Weiss would be the heiress who doesn’t know about all the dirty dealing her father has gotten up to. And Ruby? She’d be that ranch hand with a heart of gold who helps out with the horses and the cattle. She’s got a smile a mile wide, and even if she doesn’t look too scary, there’s not a soul alive who can beat her off the draw or hit something far away the way she can.
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	116. Bribery

**Bribery**

Her Royal Highness Princess Weiss of Atlas was not having a good day. To be more accurate, the kingdom of Atlas was not having a good year. Drought had left their crops in a precarious state. War had left their armies teetering on the brink of defeat. Floods and other natural disasters had pushed their resources to the very limit.

Atlas needed relief, and there was only one god they could appeal to for help.

True, they could go to the gods of harvest for help with the drought, and the gods of war could help them with the battles still to come, and the various gods of destruction could be appeased to reduce the number of natural disasters. However, there was one god that could accomplish all of those things herself.

And that was how Weiss found herself being pushed into the temple of Death in little more than a silk robe with a large plate of the finest cookies in all of Atlas.

It didn’t make an iota of sense to Weiss. Well, some of it did. The gods were known to take mortal lovers from time to time, and she wasn’t being vain when she said she was one of the most beautiful women in the land. But what on Remnant was she supposed to do with a plate of cookies?

However, the priests and priestesses of Death had insisted on the cookies. She scowled and shivered as she walked barefoot toward the inner sanctum of the temple. They were a curious bunch, those priests and priestesses. They were always walking around in hooded cloaks that made them look supremely suspicious. And then there were the roses. The temple had roses everywhere, and the priests and priestesses could often be found scattering rose petals throughout the city. It was just bizarre.

And then there were the corgis.

Was it mandatory for every member of Death’s clergy to have a corgi? It certainly seemed so, but that didn’t make any sense. How exactly were Death and corgis related? Then there were the cookies. All of the clergy seemed to love cookies, and they were forever throwing money at the kingdom’s bakers to make better ones. 

A low growl left Weiss’s lips. The clergy of every god tended to be a bit eccentric – the less she thought about the clergy of Neopolitan, goddess of assassins, impersonators, and umbrellas, the better. They almost never spoke, and they had a tendency to dye their hair mismatching colours as well as to somehow change the colour of the eyes. They also liked stabbing people. It was bizarre. 

Weiss reached the inner sanctum and stepped inside past the large, gilded doors. The doors swung shut behind her, and she felt the first stirrings of unease. The priests and priestesses had instructed her to wait in this chamber in a silent vigil until Death appeared. 

With a sigh, Weiss settled down into as comfortable a position as possible. It was a bit drafty in the sanctum, and her lack of clothing made it difficult to get truly comfortable. Eventually, she settled into a sitting position and waited. 

And waited.

And waited.

And waited.  
At some point, she must have fallen asleep because the next thing she was aware of was the sound of someone munching on a cookie.

“What are you doing?” Weiss cried, leaping to her feet and jabbing one finger at the impudent fool who had decided to snack on Death’s cookies. She was trying to save her kingdom here! Was this idiot trying to ruin everything? “Those cookies belong to Death!”

The tall, silver-eyed woman with dark hair who was munching on the cookies turned to look at Weiss and then resumed eating the cookies, stopping now and then to dip them into a glass of milk.

“Hey!” Weiss shouted, raising her voice again. “I’m talking to you! Those cookies are for Death! You can’t eat them. As your princess, I demand you cease this foolishness at once!”

The woman held up one finger for silence, leaving Weiss to splutter in incoherent outrage as she continued to munch on a cookie before swallowing it and slowly turning to face Weiss.

“These are for Death, you say?” the woman asked, grinning. “Is that right?”

“That’s right,” Weiss retorted. “You’d best make an offering at once and beg for her forgiveness, or else she’ll claim your soul.”

“She’s pretty mean, right?” the woman asked, seemingly trying not to laugh. “Always waving that scythe around and stuff.” The woman looked at Weiss. “Were the priests and priestesses going to offer you to her as well? Yes, I can see it now, Death descending upon this shrine to claim you for herself. She’d go for the cookies first, I think, and then she’d get started on you. Who knows what she’d do? Probably ravish you senseless.”

Weiss’s mouth opened and closed. “How dare you! Who do you think you are?”

The woman grinned. “My name is Ruby, but I guess only my friends call me that. Most other people call me something else.”

“Well, what do they call you then?” Weiss hissed.

Ruby’s grin widened. “Why don’t I show you?”

Outside, every dog in the city began to howl. The wind whipped up into a hurricane. The roofs and windows rattled. Clouds covered the moon. A deathly chill fell over the inner sanctum. One by one, the candles lighting the sanctum went out. The shadows lengthened, growing and folding in on themselves until they were a writhing mass of living darkness that crawled across the floor and wrapped around Ruby.

From inside the seething miasma of shadows, Ruby’s eyes blazed like silver stars. The darkness around her exploded outward, and the whole kingdom shook. A vast, endless cloak of bloody red rippled into existence around Ruby as clothes darker than the dead of night coiled around her frame. A scythe, so black it seemed to radiate darkness, appeared in one of her hands, and Ruby gave a low chuckle before smiling at Weiss again.

“Like I said, most of my friends call me Ruby. But you mortals? You’ve got another name for me. You call me Death.”

 

Weiss fainted.

X X X

Ruby stared at the unconscious princess on the floor. Well… that hadn’t exactly gone to plan. Weiss was supposed to marvel at her divine awesomeness before getting her more cookies. Now, she had no more cookies, and Weiss was in no position to get her more. Even worse, the way Weiss had fallen had left her somewhat… exposed due to the lack of clothing underneath her robe.

Honestly, what were her clergy thinking? She’d been pretty clear on what she wanted in the way of offerings. Princesses were not on that list. Although… Ruby frowned. Yang had paid her clergy a visit recently. It would be just like her sister to add something like ‘sexy princesses’ to the list of acceptable offerings. It wasn’t like her clergy would argue. It was Yang. No mortal in their right mind would pick a fight with Yang.

Ruby knelt down beside the princess. It wouldn’t be polite to leave her all sprawled out on the floor like that with her robe out of place. The least she could do was prop her up against a pillar or something before looking for more cookies. Alas, the door of the inner sanctum opened up just as Ruby was adjusting Weiss’s robe into a more decorous position.

The eyes of her High Priest and High Priestess widened.

“Forgive us!” the High Priest threw himself to the ground. “We did not mean to interrupt you, Most Honoured Goddess!”

“Uh…” Ruby frowned. “You’re not really interrupting anything…”

“Silence, fool!” the High Priestess hissed at the High Priest as she dragged the man to his feet. “Can’t you see our Most Honoured Goddess is busy?” She turned to Ruby. “Please, forgive us, Most Honoured Goddess. We shall leave, so you may mercilessly ravish the princess to your heart’s content. By all means, make her your bride or failing that, perhaps a concubine. Only… please aid our kingdom!”

Ruby sighed. She was never, ever going to hear the end of this from Yang. In fact, she was pretty sure she could hear her sister’s laughter already. “Just… just go… and can you maybe get more cookies?”

Ruby covered her face with one hand as they scurried off. The princess gave a low groan but remained unconscious. “What am I going to do with you?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> Death! Ruby returns! This can be thought of as a different take on Chapter 106, one that immediately starts off on a humorous note instead of a serious one. I thought it would be fun to revisit the idea, plus add some more detail to Ruby’s clergy. Note the many eccentricities her clergy has. This chapter is also directly connected to another one that I’ll be posting shortly. It involves Yang and her clergy’s attempts to win her favour by procuring the ultimate cat. You can guess how that goes. And after that there’s a snippet starring Zwei, Lord of Corgis and Matchmaker Supreme.
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	117. Mistaken Identity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: This chapter is a follow up to the previous chapter (Chapter 116).

**Mistaken Identity**

Yang, Goddess of War, Punching Things, and General Awesomeness, had a soft spot for cats. No one was entirely sure why that was, especially since she was forever attempting to sneak off with Death’s corgi. Of course, Death was her sister, so it wasn’t that bad. And Zwei was the cutest corgi ever (in fact, he was the god of corgis).

Nevertheless, it was customary for her various followers to attempt to outdo each other by presenting her with the most awesome cat imaginable. Over the years, kings, emperors, and various other people who were seeking her favour had presented tigers, lions, and all manner of mighty felines. Others had adopted a slightly different approach, seeking to win her favour by presenting the cutest, most adorable cats imaginable.

This, however, was a first.

“The Kingdom of Menagerie beseeches you, Most Honoured Goddess, aid our kingdom in our fight against our enemies! Help us smite them, and we shall give you the greatest cat in all the world!”

Yang tilted her head to one side. “I’m not sure she counts as a cat.”

The high priestess made a choking sound. “But she’s a cat Faunus… that’s… that’s like a cat, isn’t it?”

Yang snickered. “And you’re a dog Faunus, does that make you a bitch?”

“Well, uh, um, eh…”

Oh, mortals. Yang shook her head. That had been a lovely pun, and the priestess was too terrified to appreciate it. “Look, I can see where you’re coming from, but I like cats. She is not a cat.”

“But…” the high priestess gathered herself. “Princess Blake is a cat Faunus, that’s true, but surely, a cat Faunus is kind of like a cat. Besides, maybe you’re in the market for a concubine?”

Yang tried not to laugh as the princess’s amber eyes narrowed. Clearly, the princess was attempting to kill the priestess with her eyes, but it didn’t seem to be having any effect. Really, Ruby was the only person who could actually do that, and she was Death. “I don’t suppose you’ve asked her, have you?”

“The princess will do whatever it takes to ensure the safety and prosperity of Menagerie and its people,” the high priestess insisted.

“You told me you were going to give me tuna!” Blake hissed. “And that we were going to offer her a kitten.”

“Technically, you’re a young woman. That’s kind of like a kitten.”

“No, it’s not!”

Yang watched the pair argue for a few moments. Menagerie was going through something of a tough time, what with all the people who wanted to kill them. Ordinarily, Pyrrha would already have stepped in to offer them assistance, but the Goddess of Righteous Battle had gone off to train some mortal who wanted to be a hero. 

What was his name again? Ah, right. Jaune Arc. Well, his great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandfather had been quite a legend. From what she’d seen, however, Jaune was going to need a lot of help. Pyrrha would have to keep a close eye on the boy, or he’d end up impaling himself on his own sword after tripping over.

“Can I just say something?” Yang asked. Immediately, the squabbling pair fell silent. “Princess, you really need to be more careful. You let the high priestess lure you into my temple with the offer of tuna. Why on Remnant would there be tuna in my temple?”

Blake blushed. “I… I really like tuna,” she muttered.

“Just like a cat!” the high priestess crowed in triumph.

“Give that a rest,” Yang said. “Although I have to admit those cat ears of your are adorable. They really are.”

The aforementioned ears twitched in embarrassment. “I… uh…” Blake stammered. “What… nefarious plans do you have for me?”

“How dare you!” the high priestess thundered.

Yang laughed and stepped forward. The stone floor at her feet began to glow, drops of molten gold dripping from her hair onto the floor. Her eyes shifted, turning deep, bloody red, and every flame in the temple roared and flared a radiant gold. 

“Oh? I must admit that I don’t pay that much attention to Menagerie, but I do look in on it from time to time. I’ve noticed a certain princess reading material of a morally dubious nature.” Yang smirked as the princess turned a deep shade of red. “I believe that series is referred to as Gods of Love, correct?”

“You read such blasphemy!” the high priestess roared. “No wonder we haven’t gotten any help!”

Blake’s mouth opened and closed several times, and Yang reached out with one hand, flames wreathing each finger, and closed Blake’s mouth. Blake’s eyes widened in surprise. The flames hadn’t so much as singed her hair.

“You know,” Yang replied. “I happen to know the writers. I think the whole thing is hilarious. If we wanted to smite the people responsible, we would have. As for you…” She turned back to Blake. “I have to wonder why someone would keep reading those stories… unless… yes… unless perhaps they might want to give some of the things in it a try.”

The high priestess gaped and then punched the air. “Exactly! She would make a perfect concubine!”

“Good grief,” Yang muttered. “Can you stop for five seconds?” She looked back at Blake. “So… what do you think, princess? Would you like to give it a try?”

Yang knew she was beautiful. Even amongst the gods, there were few, precious few, who could claim to match her looks. To a mortal, she was almost painfully lovely, her appearance a perfect union of feminine beauty and martial ferocity. 

Blake must have thought so too because the princess spaced out for a few moments before giggling and then passing out, a silly, silly smile on her face.

“Well,” Yang said. “I can tell what was on her mind.” Indeed, Blake had been thinking so loudly that Yang hadn’t even had to peer into her mind to know. Ah, what an inventive mind Blake had. Perhaps Yang would even take her up on that idea later. “This was fun, a lot of fun.”

The high priestess raised her hand.

“You can speak.”

“Does that mean you’ll help us?”

Yang considered the question. Blake was an interesting princess. It would be a shame if something happened to her. “Sure, why not. I’ll even talk to my sister as well. We’ll work something out.”

X X X

Yang had just returned to her home in the realm of the gods when she was confronted by an angry Death.

“Yang!” Ruby wailed. “Did you tell my clergy that sexy princesses were an acceptable offering?”

Yang yelped as Ruby brandished her scythe. “Well, maybe.”

“Yang!”

“But, hey, it’s not that bad, is it? I mean… you have a sexy princess now, right?”

“She fainted, Yang.”

“Wow.” Yang hadn’t thought Ruby had it in her. “You must have ravished her pretty hard, Ruby.”

“YANG!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> Oh, Yang. Even as a goddess, she can’t help but get up to mischief. And Blake… apparently, she can still be lured by tuna. As for Zwei, Lord of Corgis, he’ll be making his appearance in the next chapter, along with Nora, Goddess of… well, you’ll find out in the next chapter. Also, some people have suggested making chapter 117 (this chapter) Halo themed. It’s a nice idea, but I don’t follow Halo closely enough to do something Halo themed. Plus, I wanted to have these snippets beside each other for convenience.
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	118. Zwei, Lord of Corgis, Matchmaker Supreme

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: This chapter is a follow up to the previous chapters (Chapters 116 and 117).

**Zwei, Lord of Corgis, Matchmaker Supreme**

Her Royal Highness Princess Weiss of Atlas gave a deep, deep sigh as she watched her father open the capital’s newest temple. It was one thing to have an absolutely gigantic temple to Death. The goddess had recently dealt with their problems by putting an end to their drought, threatening to smite their enemies, and stopping what seemed to be a never-ending succession of natural disasters.

Why?

Apparently, Death felt kind of bad about Weiss passing out on the floor of her inner sanctum in nothing more than a silk robe. Oh, and apparently, everyone was now convinced that she was Death’s concubine after Death’s high priest and high priestess had stumbled upon Death trying to help Weiss after she’d passed out.

At least, that was what Death said.

According to the high priest and high priestess, Death had been ravishing her with merciless abandon, leading to Weiss passing out from the unbridled pleasure of being taken by one of the most powerful of the gods.

Weiss’s eye twitched. She was pretty sure she’d remember if that had happened, and Death had seemed just as horrified as her about the rumours. Death’s sister, Yang, the Goddess of War, had even made a brief appearance a few days ago to point and laugh at them as the rumour had gained more and more traction.

Good grief. 

Weren’t the gods supposed to be beings of unparalleled might and wisdom? Instead, she’d found out that Death was addicted to cookies and that Death’s sister loved to prank her by doing things like adding ‘sexy princesses’ to the list of acceptable offerings.

And now Death’s clergy were adding to their many, many, many eccentricities. They had convinced her father that the kingdom needed to thank Death for her recent generosity, and that was on top of convincing her father that Weiss was now Death’s concubine, which meant that Weiss was now the official go-to person whenever they needed Death’s help, which in turn meant another trip to the inner sanctum in a silk robe with a plate of cookies. 

And what better way to thank Death than to build a temple next to hers for her beloved dog? Yes, that was right. Death had a dog. A divine dog, who was apparently the Lord of Corgis. Weiss covered her face with her hands. What kind of world did they live in when there was such a thing as a Lord of Corgis?

As her father finished dedicating the temple, there was a brilliant flash of light before a dog appeared.

“All hail Zwei, Lord of Corgis!” the high priest cried. “Bow before his cuteness!”

To Weiss’s abject horror, people began to bow. Was this real life? Within moments, Weiss realised that she was the only one not bowing. Her father glared at her. If bowing to a dog was necessary for Atlas to survive, he’d do it, and he expected the same of her. However, before she could bow, Zwei trotted over to her.

Weiss looked down. The dog was exceptionally cute and adorable. Indeed, if the gods themselves radiated the very essence of power and majesty, then Zwei radiated the very essence of cuteness and adorableness.

The dog nudged her leg and wagged his tail.

The high priestess looked at Weiss. “Pick him up, Your Highness. He likes being carried. He makes us carry him whenever he visits. As Death’s new concubine, it is your sacred duty!”

“I am not her… fine.” Weiss reached down and picked up Zwei. The dog wasn’t very heavy at all, and he gave her face a friendly lick. “What now?’

“Now… you carry him until he either wants to get down or leaves,” the high priestess replied. “Or until Death arrives. She usually lets him come down here if she’s busy, and she comes to collect him when she’s done with whatever she’s doing.”

“Busy?” Weiss frowned. Death being busy probably wasn’t a good thing. There must be some awful, horrible war or plague going on. “Fine. I guess I’ll manage.” Zwei smiled at her, and Weiss found herself smiling back. He really was adorable. “What do we feed him?”

X X X

Death sighed. “Nora, what have I told you about smiting stuff?”

The Goddess of Thunder, Storms, and Smiting Stuff shuffled her feet nervously. “Um… to not smite stuff without checking first?”

Ruby pointed at the huge, gaping hole in the sky that was surrounded by towering pillars of lightning. “Look at the sky. Just look at it.”

Nora huffed. “A dragon tried to eat Ren!”

Ruby looked over at the mortal who was still staring at the sky in disbelief. “Nora, you could have asked me if Ren was going to die.” She looked over at Ren. “You weren’t going to, by the way. You’d have escaped with a little bit of singing and a limp that would have gone away after a couple of days.”

“Uh… great,” Ren said.

“Anyway, even if you had to kill the dragon, you didn’t have to tear a hole in the sky. We’re going to have to fix that, and mortals are going to be freaking out all over the world until we do. I’ve already got people praying to me for help in the coming apocalypse. They think it’s the end of the world, Nora.”

Nora hefted her hammer. “If that dragon didn’t want to get annihilated, it shouldn’t have tried to eat my mortal.”

Ruby looked at Ren. This was getting ridiculous. This was the third time this month that Nora had gone overboard smiting something that had so much as looked at Ren funny. She needed to deal with this. Sighing, Ruby wove her power into charm and handed it to Ren. “Here. This is a get out of jail free card. If something would kill you that isn’t supposed to kill you, it will trigger and send you to Nora.”

Nora’s eyes narrowed. “You’re giving him one of your charms? You better not be trying to steal my mortal, Ruby.”

“I’m saving us all a lot of trouble. This way, you won’t have to worry about something eating Ren or murdering him while you’re busy.”

“I guess…” Nora shrugged. 

“Good.” Ruby took a deep breath. “You’re going to need to speak to Glynda about this.”

“What?” Nora wailed. “But I don’t want to…”

“She’s the one who has to fix it, and since you broke the sky, you’re the one who has to explain to her how it happened. Me? I’m going to go pick up Zwei. He’s in Atlas.” Ruby grinned. “They actually built him a temple.”

X X X

Weiss had somehow been roped into giving Zwei a bath. How exactly did one go about bathing the Lord of Corgis? The answer was with a great deal of effort. The canine seemed to find splashing her with water to be absolutely hilarious, which meant that Weiss was completely drenched.

She’d finally managed to give the dog a bath, so she’d decided to give herself one as well while Zwei waited outside. Unfortunately, she hadn’t counted on the dog’s ability to walk through a door like it wasn’t even there. 

“Get out!” Weiss shouted, pointing at the door. “I’m having a bath!”

The dog tilted his head to one side, smiled, and then promptly headed for the door – with her clothes in his mouth.

“Ah!” Weiss lunged after the dog. Sure, she was naked, but he was dog. He wouldn’t care.

Death appeared at that exact moment.

“Huh…” Death stared from the clothes in Zwei’s mouth to the princess whom they belonged to. “Bad dog.” 

“Your Royal Highness,” one of Weiss’ maids opened the door. “Is the Most Honoured Dog in – oh.” The maid looked from Death to Weiss, ignoring the dog who was happily wagging his tail. “I see.” She bowed low. “Please, forgive me Most Honoured Goddess. I can see that you and Her Royal Highness are about to be very busy. By all means continue. But I beg of you, please remember that the princess has a diplomatic ball to attend tomorrow night. She will need to be able to walk.”

Death stared. “Why wouldn’t she be able to walk?”

“Because of how thoroughly you will undoubtedly be ravishing her.” The maid nodded sagely. “Your clergy were most clear on this matter, Most Honoured Goddess. We are to let you ravish the princess as mercilessly as you wish since she evidently enjoys it immensely.”

“…” Weiss tried to say something, but her mind was drawing a big, incoherent blank due to her overwhelming embarrassment and rage.

“You should probably go,” Death said to the maid. “Otherwise, I might be coming for your soul sooner rather than later.”

“Ah.” The maid quickly retreated. “Thank you for the warning.”

Weiss’s subsequent scream of frustration was heard throughout the palace and was taken to be yet another sign of Death’s incredible prowess as a lover.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> All hail, Zwei! Seriously, though, is there anyone more suitable to be the Lord of Corgis than him? I doubt it. But poor Weiss. She just can’t catch a break. Who knows what rumours are going to spread after this? And Ren… it must be nice having a goddess looking out for him. It’s probably less nice when that goddess breaks the sky. I should probably do something about what Pyrrha, Goddess of Righteous Battle is doing next…
> 
> Incidentally, I’ve gotten some questions about if I write original fiction. I do. You can find me over on Amazon as L. G. Estrella. If you’ve enjoyed these god AU snippets, I’ve recently released a collection of short stories called _Divine Assistance_ that is very much in the same vein. Highlights include things like Death trying to find a suitably awesome pony for his daughter and Ruin trying his hand at poetry in a bid to woo a mortal librarian…
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	119. Height Disparity

**Height Disparity**

Weiss frowned. She wasn’t sure when it had happened, but Ruby was now taller than her. And it wasn’t by just a little bit either. No, the last time they had kissed, Weiss had been forced to go up onto the tips of her toes.

It couldn’t be because she was short. No, Weiss was hardly the tallest person in the world, but she didn’t feel short next to most other women. She certainly didn’t feel short when she went into meetings that included other women. This had to be Ruby’s fault.

Yes, that was it.

Weiss wasn’t short. Ruby was simply obnoxiously tall.

Luckily, however, Ruby hadn’t seemed to notice the apparent reversal in their fortunes. That luck, unfortunately, did not last.

X X X

“Hey, Weiss.” Ruby ambled into the kitchen of their apartment. “What are you doing?”

“I am attempting to make those cookies you like.”

“Cool.” Ruby paused. “Oh, the flour is way up there on the shelf. Let me get that for you.”

Weiss stopped what she was doing and turned. “I can get the flour, Ruby.”

Ruby’s lips twitched. “Can you?”

Weiss’s eyes widened. Ruby had finally noticed. Well, she’d show Ruby Rose that Weiss Schnee needed no help from some obnoxiously tall woman! “I most certainly can!”

She couldn’t.

Even standing on the tips of her toes, Weiss was agonisingly close to reaching the flour. “Not one word…” she growled.

Ruby smiled and didn’t say a word. Instead, she vanished in a blur of motion and then reappeared with a stepladder.

“Ruby!”

X X X

Weiss glared at the busted lighted bulb. Thanks to the high ceilings of her apartment, she couldn’t reach the bulb even when she was standing on a chair. No, she’d have to use her glyphs to give her an extra few inches of height.

And Ruby was right there watching because Weiss had insisted that she could do it without her help.

“You know,” Ruby drawled. “I could probably reach that if I stood on the chair –”

“No!” Weiss snapped. “I can handle it.”

“Okay…” Ruby said. “If you say so.”

Weiss took a deep breath. Was she really going to use her Semblance for this when Ruby was right there? That was crazy. She was more mature than that. She was a bigger person than – no. She wasn’t. She was absolutely going to use her Semblance.

X X X

“Does it bother you that I’m taller than you now?” Ruby murmured. They were curled up together on the couch watching one of those ridiculously saccharine romantic comedies that Ruby enjoyed when she wasn’t advocating the latest action blockbuster.

Weiss huffed. “No.”

“Weiss…”

“Maybe a little,” Weiss admitted. “I just… I didn’t even notice that you were taller than me until recently. What sort of person doesn’t notice something like that?”

“To be fair,” Ruby replied. “I didn’t notice I was taller than you until I realised how much fun it was to lift you off your feet when we kissed.”

Weiss found herself chuckling. “It is nice when you do that.”

“It is, right?” Ruby gave Weiss a very Yang-like smirk. “And thinks of it this way. I can help you reach things that are way up high, and the next time we have to wander around in a cave or something, you won’t have to worry about hitting your head.”

“Ruby, I love you, but I will totally stab you if you keep making fun of me.”

“And our being together makes even more sense now. If we have kids maybe they’ll inherit my tall genes and –”

“Ruby.” Weiss pushed Ruby onto her back and loomed over her. “I would hate to murder you before we can have kids, so please, stop talking.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> Not dead, just busy. But, anyway, we return to your scheduled RWBY fluff and humour programming. In case you’re wondering, I really do think that Weiss will end up the shortest in Team RWBY. And Ruby will always sort of tease her about it (it goes without saying that Yang will whereas Blake will just smile and stand next to Weiss while looking down at her).
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	120. Sensory Acuity

**Sensory Acuity**

There were times when Blake really, really wanted to punch her teammates in the gut. Now was one of those times. Oh, Ruby and Weiss thought they were being discrete, and it wasn’t like they’d woken up Yang, but Blake could hear, see, and smell everything.

Damn it. 

She should have said something when Ruby had offered to share a bed with Weiss. They weren’t first years anymore. Ruby was nineteen now, and she and Weiss had been dating for a little over a year. They had done things with each other. Heck, they were doing things with each other right now. 

Why, oh why, couldn’t they have gotten separate rooms at the hotel? Oh, that was right. The hotel only had one room left. Blake would have been better off finding a tree to sleep in at the park.

“Ruby…” Weiss’s voice was a muffled whisper so quiet that no human could possibly have heard it from where Blake was trying to sleep. Unfortunately, Blake was a cat Faunus, so she could most certainly hear it, along with a whole lot of other things. “Ruby… we have to be… oh!”

Blake’s jaw clenched. Ruby was on top of Weiss now, their bodies moving together under the blanket. One of Ruby’s hands was cradling the back of Weiss’s head while the other was moving between their bodies. Dust, Blake could hear the sounds it made as it moved in and out of Weiss, the pale-haired woman’s hips tilting up to give Ruby better access.

The scent of both women’s arousal was heavy in the air, and Blake closed her eyes and tried to calm her own breathing as the sounds of movement quickened, Weiss forgoing words entirely for soft, breathy, little moans that finally ended in a harsh shuddering gasp before Ruby covered Weiss’s lips with hers, stifling what would almost certainly have been a cry loud enough to wake Yang as she found her own release.

The two continued to move against each other for a few moments before they fell still. 

“Do… do you think we woke them?” Weiss whispered.

Ruby shifted, rolling off Weiss. “I… I don’t think so.”

X X X

“Hey, Blake!” Yang waved her hand in front of the Faunus’s face. “What’s wrong? You look like you didn’t sleep a wink.”

Blake hadn’t slept a wink because Weiss and Ruby had rested for all of five minutes before resuming their activities, so she wasn’t exactly in the best mood. She poured herself some coffee. “I couldn’t sleep last night.” Her eyes narrowed, and both Ruby and Weiss gulped. “I kept hearing these… noises. You know how us Faunus are. We can hear, see, and smell everything, even in the middle of the night.”

“Uh… you do realise that we were in a hotel room last night, Blake?”

“Yes, Yang. We were. And I wasn’t talking about the local wildlife.” Blake’s lips curled. “Although it did get a little wild toward the end there.”

That was the last time Team RWBY shared one room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> Poor Blake. Then again, perhaps she should have asked Yang to help keep her otherwise occupied, right? 
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	121. The Tyrant

**The Tyrant**

“Remind me again, why did we think this was a good idea?” Yang grumbled as she was reduced to wearing little more than her scarf, her bra, and her underwear.

“Because you claimed to be lucky at poker,” Blake replied. The Faunus was doing a tad better although she wasn’t far behind Yang in the undressing department.

“Weiss!” Ruby whined. “You’re being a big meanie!” The youngest member of Team RWBY was in a similar state of undress as Yang, except she had her cloak on instead of a scarf.

“A big meanie?” Weiss scoffed. The heiress had lost precisely two games of strip poker thus far. She was thus without her socks. “This is what you fools get for thinking you can beat a Schnee at poker! Mwahahaha!”

Yang stared. “I think we’ve created a monster.”

Blake shook her head. “No. I don’t think we created a monster, so much as we poked one with a stick.”

“What was it you said, Yang? Better lucky than good?” Weiss cackled maniacally, eyes alight with madness. “How about lucky and good?” Weiss revealed her cards. “Now, off with the scarf!”

Yang shot Weiss a dirty look. “Are you that eager to see all of us naked?”

“Not particularly. I’m simply eager to win.” Weiss preened. “And win big.”

“Would you accept a cookie instead of more clothing being removed?” Ruby asked. This was her team, but she was still a bit nervous about being around them in nothing more than her bra and underwear. She was pretty certain Weiss wouldn’t let it go further than that, but they weren’t dealing with Nice But Grumpy Weiss at the moment. No, they were up against Evil Tyrant Queen of Poker Weiss.

“A cookie?” Weiss seemed to consider the question for a moment. “I guess I can allow that.”

“What?” Blake gaped. “Seriously?”

“I’m feeling a little hungry, and Ruby has very good cookies.”

Ten minutes later, Ruby had no cookies.

“I vote we never play strip poker with Weiss again.” Yang had managed to put off removing any more clothing by agreeing to verbally acknowledge that Weiss was completely awesome at least three times a day for the next week.

“I second that motion.” Blake had removed her ribbon to avoid removing any more intimate clothing, not that it troubled her to be without her ribbon around her team.

“My cookies!” Ruby wailed.

Weiss cackled again. “At last, you three acknowledge my superiority in poker!” She snickered. “I will enjoy hearing how awesome I am as well as eating my cookies.” She gave Ruby and Yang meaningful looks. “And this is why you should never gamble unless you’re good at it.”

“But my cookies…” Ruby clutched at the air and moaned pitifully.

Weiss’s eye twitched. Ruby looked absolutely distraught at the loss of her cookies. She sighed. It wasn’t like she actually wanted to torment her team. “I suppose I could give you back your cookies, but only if you promise to be more careful. Not everyone is going to be as nice as me.”

“Yay!”

“Does that mean I’m off the hook too?” Yang asked.

“Not a chance.” Weiss’s lips curled. “You’re old enough to know better. I expect to be praised when I wake up, after lunch, and just before I go to bed.”

“You are so evil.” Yang scowled. 

“She’s not evil, Yang.” Ruby beamed. “She gave me back my cookies!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> Never underestimate Weiss’s potential for tyranny. On the upside, she’s got a soft spot for Ruby. On the downside, she’s not about to cut Yang any slack. Oh well. At least, Blake is mostly sensible. Maybe.
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	122. Crossroads

**Crossroads**

Pyrrha opened her eyes.

Wait.

Opened her eyes?

That couldn’t be right. It couldn’t be.

She was dead.

Cinder had… had… 

“Hello there.”

Pyrrha gasped and shot to her feet as a figure garbed in a blood-red cloak walked toward her. “Who are you?”

“You can probably guess.” There was something strangely familiar about the figure’s voice. “Although I’m going to bet that my friend here gives the game away.” At those words, a massive scythe appeared, draped over the figure’s shoulder. It was blacker than the dead of night, and it seemed to absorb the eerie twilight that filled this… this place.

“Where are we?” Pyrrha asked. She looked down at herself. She was still in her fighting clothes, and her weapons were there too. It felt good to have them, but this shouldn’t be possible. And this place – she couldn’t see a thing beyond the bare earth and seemingly endless mist.

“How many people do you know who walk around with a big scythe?”

“You’re not Ruby are you?” Pyrrha asked, realising, even as she spoke, that this was not the right time for a joke. However, her words drew an amused chuckle from the hooded figure.

“Not exactly.”

“Then…” Pyrrha sagged. “Then I’m really dead. You’re Death.”

The figure stopped in front of her and slipped off their hood. Pyrrha found herself looking at a hauntingly familiar face with a pair of very familiar silver eyes. It was like looking at an older version of Ruby except there was something different, some indefinable aura of glory and majesty around this person that made them seem somehow more than human. It was there in the minute differences, in the inhuman perfection of her features, and in the way she held herself.

“There are many worlds, Pyrrha Nikos of Remnant, many worlds indeed. In some of them, I am a student at Beacon Academy. In others, I am assassin working for a princess. And in still others, I am a knight in training. But in all of them, I am Ruby.”

“But –”

“You are a shard of something greater, Pyrrha.” Death held up one hand, and an image formed over her palm. It was another Pyrrha, a divine Pyrrha, a Pyrrha clothed in armour of fire and light with a spear wrought of the dawn itself and a shield carved out of the firmament of Creation. “That is Pyrrha, Goddess of Righteous Battle, and a close friend of mine. You are a shard of her, just as your Ruby is a shard of me. Ever wonder why Ruby is so good at killing Grimm? She’d better be. After all, I am Death.”

“Why am I here?”

“You died, Pyrrha. But you’re in luck. You see, every so often, worlds align in ways that you mortals don’t understand. Certain days have power, All Hallows Ever, for instance. On those days, the rules are a little… laxer than usual.” Death’s eyes grew sorrowful. “I took someone from Pyrra – not you, but the goddess whom you are a part of. He was mortal, and all mortals must go to my domain. She will not see him again until the breaking of the world and the dawn of the Last Battle. But I also owe her a favour… and she has asked me to help you.”

“How?” Pyrrha breathed. I’m dead.”

“Yes, you are. But I am Death. Do you think your being dead is a problem for someone like me? Please. I can handle it especially since the Grimm have made quite a mess of your world. Steps need to be taken. You will be one of them.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m sending you back,” Death said. “It’ll be a while after you died, but your friends could use the help. And I know plenty of people who miss you.”

“Do you mean it?” Pyrrha could barely believe it. “You’ll – you’ll send me back?”

“Indeed, I will.” Death grinned. It was Ruby’s grin. The sound of something walking through the mist toward them caught Pyrrah’s attention. There was a dog trotting toward them. “Ah, I was wondering when Zwei would show up. He’s always liked you, you know. I imagine he wants to say hi before I send you back.”

“Uh, hi.” Pyrrha waved at the dog. Zwei wagged his tail.

“Well, I’d better send you back. You’ll keep your memories and everything, but be careful. This is a one-time thing. The next time All Hallows Eve lines up for our worlds is… maybe… another twenty thousand years?” Death chuckled. “Weiss always was better when it came to keeping track of stuff like that. Anyway, goodbye, Pyrrha, and good luck. I hope I don’t see you for at least another sixty or seventy years.”

X X X

Penny blinked and opened her eyes.

“You know,” a strangely familiar voice said. “You’re only the second robot to ever make it here. That’s quite impressive, and I’m not sure it counts since I’ll be sending you back soon enough…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> There’s nothing quite like some Halloween fix-it fic for the win! And, hey, people have asked for some more Death!Ruby, so why not combine the two? Heh. But if gods like Death can intervene, it makes you wonder if maybe there are other gods, less benevolent, hanging around Remnant. After all, who knows what Salem really is?
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	123. Trick-or-Treat

**Note: This chapter is a follow up to Chapters 116, 117, and 118.**

**X X X**

**Trick-or-Treat  
**   
When Princess Weiss had received the summons to report to Death’s temple immediately, she had been justifiably worried. Why would a goddess of Death’s power and majesty require her immediate presence? Naturally, the whole palace just had to speculate.

Perhaps Death missed her favourite concubine?

Perhaps Death was intent on ravishing Weiss to the point of unconsciousness again?

Or perhaps Death had some other nefarious (and undoubtedly lascivious) plan for the princess?

Honestly, Weiss had never realised how quickly people’s minds went straight into the gutter until she’d been involved in several inexplicably unfortunate mix-ups with Death. Apparently, the only rational explanation for her fainting around Death couldn’t be stress or terror. No, it just had to be Death’s awesome prowess as a lover.

How did that make any sense?

Thus it was with great trepidation that Weiss made her way into the inner sanctum of Death’s temple, doing her best to ignore the offers of scented candles and wine that the high priest and high priestess made as she walked past. Those two… they were the cause of all the rumours, and Weiss would have gladly ordered them exiled for… for something if it wouldn’t have caused a political and religious furore.

As she opened the doors to Death’s inner sanctum, she looked around. Where was Death? 

“Down here.”

Weiss blinked and then looked down. There was a little girl munching on cookies and drinking a glass of milk right in front of her.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Weiss shrieked. “You – you can’t eat Death’s cookies and milk! Are you trying to get all of us killed? She’ll smite us all!”

The little girl gave Weiss a distinctly unimpressed look. “You really don’t think that much of me do you, Weiss? If I wanted to smite you all, I’d have done it by now.”

“Huh?”

“It’s me,” the little girl said. “I’m Death.”

“What?” Weiss wailed, her voice hitting a new and impressively high pitch. “What do you mean you’re Death?”

“I’m a god, Weiss. Heck, I’m one of the greatest of the gods. Changing my shape is trivially easy.” Death, or Little Death as Weiss’s mind had already labelled her, continued munching on her cookie in a way that was disturbingly cute. “Have you forgotten what night it is?”

“Uh…”

“It’s Halloween, Weiss, the night when mortals hand out candy to children.”

Weiss had a sudden, horrible idea of where this was going.

“I’m Death, so no matter how often I ask for offerings of cookies, milk, and strawberries, people are always giving me stuff like gold, jewels, their firstborn child, you know, stuff like that.”

“People leave you their firstborn child?”

“You’d be surprised by how often that happens. I try to give the kids back, but sometimes, people just won’t take them back. If that happens, I find them a good family and leave them there. Unfortunately, all that does is convince people I steal the children of people who make me mad.”

“That is… pretty horrible,” Weiss said.

“Yeah, it is.” Death shrugged. Her silver eyes narrowed for a moment. “It kind of makes me want to smite people.” She shook herself. “Anyway, this is the perfect opportunity for me to get more candy. Now, a child wandering the streets in search of candy on their own would be weird. People might think I’m some kind of wandering ghost. But if you come with me…”

Weiss took a deep, deep breath. “Let me get this straight. You summoned me here to tell me that I’m going to be taking you, Death, one of the mightiest gods in Creation, trick-or-treating?”

“That’s the idea.” Death smiled sunnily and waved one hand in the air. A costume appeared. “You can wear that.”

Weiss’s eye twitched. “That costume makes me look like a witch.”

“Yep. I’d get you a cat too, but Yang is really attached to hers.” Death shrugged. “As for me…” She waved one hand again, and a rickety wooden scythe with a wooden blade appeared. “That’s all I need.”

Weiss took another deep breath. “So I have to dress as a witch while you go as… yourself?”

“Well, yeah.” Death shrugged again. She was wearing a miniature version of her usual outfit, albeit one that looked to be made of mortal materials instead of the divine fabrics that made up her normal outfit. “Who else would I go as?”

Weiss looked heavenward. Perhaps the gods could help her… no. The gods were the reason she was in this mess to begin with. “Fine. I suppose I have to take you. But we’re splitting the candy.”

Death’s eyes narrowed. “You’ve gotten quite bold, Weiss. All right. We’ll split the candy, but I get to choose which half is mine.”

“Fine.”

X X X

It had to be Death’s divine powers because Weiss had never seen anyone get as much candy as Death was getting. Then again, Death was indescribably cute in her new form. Everything from her dark hair and her silver eyes just screamed completely adorableness. People didn’t just give Death candy – they all but drowned her in it.

“Are you still sure you want half of it?” Death asked as they made their way toward the next house. “You’re mortal, so eating too much candy might actually kill you.”

“No, I think I’ll have to pass. If I eat even a quarter of what you’ve been given, I’ll probably die from eating too much candy.”

“A wise choice,” Death said smugly. “As a god, I can eat as much candy as I – hey!”

“What?” Weiss asked.

Death frowned. “Over there.”

“What… oh.” Weiss stared. A dark-haired man with a streak of pink in his hair appeared to be dragging an irate miniature version of Nora, Goddess of Thunder, Storms, and Smiting Stuff, away from a house. “Is that…?”

“It is.” Death marched over to Nora and grabbed the errant goddess by the scruff of her tunic. “What do you think you’re doing?”

“Uh… hey… Ruby.” Nora looked about shiftily. “Fancy seeing you here.”

Ruby looked at the man. “Ren, is she picking fights with mortals who don’t give her as much candy as she thinks they should.”

“Yes.”

“Ah!” Nora jabbed one finger at Ren. “Traitor!”

“She’s Death, Nora. No one can lie to Death. That’s one of her powers.”

“Good point.” Nora eyed the bag of candy Death held. It was almost full, and there were dozens of others that Death had already filled and stashed in some divine manner. “So… can you share your candy with me, Ruby?”

“No. It’s mine. Weiss gets some because she’s helping, but you’re here making trouble. If you smite someone, that’ll be the end of tonight’s trick-or-treating! There won’t be any more candy, and I will not be pleased.”

Nora sighed. “What if I promised not to smite anyone?”

“For a week, Nora. You need to promise to not smite anyone for a week without my express permission, and then I’ll share my candy.”

“Fine. Spoilsport.”

“Just be glad I’m willing to share.” Death looked at Weiss. “Come on. We’ve still got a few streets to go.”

X X X

Weiss woke up the next morning and groaned. She’d eaten far too much candy the previous night. Then again, she was mortal. Death had eaten even more candy than her, and she’d been perfectly fine. A small smile crossed her lips. As bizarre as it had been to go trick-or-treating with two gods, it had also been strangely fun. It had also been nice talking to Ren, someone who really understood what dealing with a god was like.

Unfortunately, Weiss’s good mood only lasted until breakfast.

“It seems you were seen last night with a little girl with black hair and silver eyes, a little girl dressed like Death.”

Weiss winced. Of course, her father knew. 

He smiled. “So… when were you planning on telling me that you and Death have a child? I’ll admit I’m taken aback by how quickly it’s happened, but this surely bodes well for our kingdom.”

“…” Weiss gaped at her father. “What? A child? Me and Death? That doesn’t make any sense! We’ve only known each other for a few weeks –”

“Nonsense,” her father said. “Death is one of the mightiest of the gods. What is to stop her from simply creating a child in her own image?”

“Would you believe me if I said that the child was Death who had taken on the form of a child to go trick-or-treating because she wants more candy?” Weiss asked, already knowing how ludicrous it sounded.

“Weiss,” her father said. “You don’t have to lie. Instead, you should be proud. Her time with you has inspired Death to create a child of her own. True, the child doesn’t seem to share any of your characteristics, but it’s the thought that counts. Death has never been interested in having a child until now. She must truly favour you.” Her father nodded solemnly. “Do your best to help Death raise her child, Weiss. The future of our kingdom depends on it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> Happy Halloween. Never underestimate the power of Death!Ruby when she goes miniature. 
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	124. Keep Away

**Keep Away**

Weiss glared. She glared mightily. She glared so mightily that any normal person would have run off screaming in the opposite direction after agreeing to any demands she might make, no matter how crazy or bizarre.

Alas, Ruby was no normal person.

“Ruby,” Weiss growled. “If you don’t give me my scroll right now, I am going to have to hit you.”

Ruby grinned evilly and raised the scroll above her head. Her recent growth spurt had given her several inches in height over the heiress, and she’d yet to get tired of flaunting it. “Come on, Weiss, just reach for it.”

Now, it was a testament to Ruby’s courage that she was willing to poke the proverbial rabid bear with chainsaws for arms in this fashion. Well, not exactly. If anything, it was more a testament to Ruby’s inability to accurately assess the possibility of imminent death.

To normal people, a rabid bear with chainsaws for arms (i.e., Weiss) was the stuff of nightmares, something to be avoided at any and all costs.

To Ruby, a rabid bear with chainsaws for arms (i.e., Weiss) was really quite adorable when it was angry and trying so hard to reach something it couldn’t quite get to.

“Ruby,” Weiss said slowly, softly, menacingly. “I am going to count to five.”

Ruby continued to dangle the scroll just out of Weiss’s reach. The smile on her face was the smile of someone completely, and quite idiotically, at peace with her choices in life. Not that her life was going to last much longer.

“One.”

“Two.”

“Three.”

“Four.”

At the count of ‘four’, Ruby briefly considered if she’d perhaps made a mistake. Weiss, after all, could be quite vicious when she chose to be. But what did she have to fear? Weiss was now exactly 3.54821972 inches shorter than her. She knew because she’d checked about a dozen times just to be sure she wasn’t selling herself short.

Alas for Ruby, that part of her that had always delighted in being about 1.2238 inches from death won the argument, bludgeoning her common sense with a weapon that bore a striking resemblance to Crescent Rose. Naturally, it didn’t help that she had an Evil Little Yang on her shoulder urging her on.

“Do it, sis,” Evil Little Yang cried. “Pick on Weiss! Pick on Weiss! Pick on Weiss!”

On her other shoulder Sensible Little Blake could have been offering advice to avert the disaster. Unfortunately, Sensible Little Blake was instead poring over her latest tome of smut. Much like actual Blake.

“Five.”

For a long moment, Weiss and Ruby stared at each other. It was like a lion staring at a wounded gazelle that had been doused in barbecue sauce, only instead of running, the gazelle was smiling at the lion. Smiling. Needless to say, the gazelle was not the smartest gazelle in the herd.

“What are you going to do?” Ruby asked. Her silver eyes shimmered with mirth, and Evil Little Yang whispered the words of her doom, words that Ruby dutifully repeated. “Would you like to borrow a ladder?”

Weiss’s eye twitched, and she drew one leg back. She might not have been able to reach the scroll without jumping, which she absolutely refused to do, but she could most certainly give Ruby a stout kick in the shin.

And that was exactly what she did.

As Ruby gave a strangled scream of agony and clutched at her shin – it was like Weiss had dipped her foot in titanium and then honed her toes to a fine, spiky point – Weiss caught her scroll and gave Ruby an almost absentminded push.

Ruby ended up flat on her back with her shin feeling like it had been attacked by a rabid bear with chainsaws for arms. Weiss took a moment to savour her victory before she calmly walked over to Ruby and put that deadly foot of hers on Ruby’s chest. She didn’t step down, but there was enough pressure there for Ruby to know how close she was to death.

“Don’t ever do that again,” Weiss hissed.

In one universe, Ruby just nodded, accepting her defeat with terrified grace.

In this universe, however, Evil Little Yang wasn’t quite done with Ruby. 

“You know,” Ruby said as the Evil Little Yang on her shoulder cackled malevolently. “I think red suits you.”

It took Weiss a moment to make sense of Ruby’s remark. Red? What did red have to do with anything… and then she noticed that Ruby wasn’t looking at her face. Instead, Ruby was looking up her skirt.

Weiss cracked her knuckles. “Ruby…”

It was at that point that Ruby began to regret all of her decisions. It was also at that point that actual Blake and actual Yang heard all of the screaming coming from the dorm room and decided that it might be better to spend another hour in the library.

And thus did Ruby, Daughter of Summer and Wielder of Crescent Rose, learn that it did not pay to antagonise a Schnee. On the upside, she also learned that angry, murderous Weiss was pretty damn hot.

Naturally, Ruby waited precisely one week before trying her luck again. This time, she wore shin pads.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> I hope you all had a good Thanksgiving. Ruby likes to live on the edge, and Weiss looking totally awesome when she’s mad is the main reason for that. Plus, Ruby would love being taller than people.
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	125. Lapdog

**Note: This chapter is a follow up to Chapters 116, 117, 118, and 123.**

**X X X**

**Lapdog  
**  
Her Royal Highness Princess Weiss had no idea why Death’s corgi seemed to enjoy sitting on her lap so much, but the canine had become an all-too-frequent visitor to her kingdom for specifically that purpose. Perhaps it was one of his powers as a divine dog, but Zwei seemed to know whenever she had a moment of free time.

Seemingly the instant Weiss sat down to enjoy a break, the corgi would appear and clamber onto her lap. It should have been easy to order the dog off her lap. He might be Death’s dog, but she was a princess. However, he was just so cute and cuddly. All it took was one smile, and Weiss found herself lavishing attention on the loveable canine, much to the delight of Death’s clergy.

Clearly, Zwei liking her was a sign from Death herself that Weiss was her Chosen, a mortal she had claimed for herself, most likely for nefarious sexual and romantic purposes.

Weiss sighed. She still had no idea why people kept coming to the wrong conclusion. She had just finished preparing for bed when a dog-sized portal opened in one corner of her bedchamber. Zwei trotted out and hopped onto her bed.

“Again?” Weiss asked. “Off my bed! Come on, get off!”

However, the dog merely gave her another smile and proceeded to make himself eminently comfortable on her bed. Weiss’s eyes narrowed into a glare that would have terrified anyone in her kingdom. Zwei, however, merely padded over to her and settled onto her lap, taking a moment to nudge her into the optimal position.

“You really are a troublemaker, aren’t you?” Weiss muttered as she ran one hand through Zwei’s fur. “It makes me wonder if you’re really a divine dog or simply a dog so cute that even Death couldn’t bear to claim your soul.”

Thinking of the goddess made Weiss wonder a little. Death was always depicted as such a stern, unwavering figure in all of the various myths, legends, and stories. Even her clergy, who were more aware of her eccentricities than anyone else, often acted as though she would smite them on the spot for stepping out of line. From what Weiss had seen, Death didn’t take any great joy in claiming peoples’ soul. It was simply what she did for a living. 

If anything, Death had been happiest when she’d been munching on some strawberries, cookies, and milk, which was a far cry from how some of the other gods acted. Then again, perhaps Death was simply so powerful that gold, jewels, and other riches meant nothing to her. To someone like that, perhaps a meal involving their favourite foods was more valuable.

It wasn’t long before Weiss fell asleep. She had expected Zwei to make an exit, but the dog merely curled up against her. Considering whom he belonged to, Zwei had a surprisingly comforting presence. Every now and then, Weiss had nightmares, most of them about the time the White Fang had almost managed to assassinate her family. With Zwei around, she was somehow certain she wouldn’t have any.

The gods of dream might be menacing, but she had Death’s dog to watch out for her.

X X X

“You really need to stop sneaking off. I’m sure Weiss has plenty of work to do, and I know how demanding you can be.”

Weiss opened her eyes and rolled out of bed with a panicked scream. “Ah!”

“Ouch.” Death leaned forward, her ridiculously deadly scythe hovering in the air only inches from Weiss’s face. “That looked painful.”

“Ah!” Weiss screamed, pointing a finger at Death and then her scythe. “Ah!”

“Oh, right.” Death waved one hand, and her scythe disappeared. “I forgot how much you mortals are afraid of my scythe.”

“Of course we are!” Weiss cried as she scrambled back to her feet. “Just one touch of it can claim a person’s soul! It’s so sharp that it can cut even the world in half! A mere look at it can –”

“You do realise that it doesn’t do any of those things unless I want it to, right?” Ruby smiled before her expression darkened. “So you’d better have some strawberries, cookies, and milk for me, Weiss, or I’m going to have to start reaping people’s souls and unleashing terror and horror upon you all!”

“…” Weiss’s mouth opened and closed.

Death winced. “Huh. I guess I might have gone a little too far there.” Zwei made a shrugging gesture from his position on Weiss’s bed. “Yang always says that I shouldn’t joke around when I’m doing the whole ‘Death’ thing.”

“She might be right,” Weiss said at last. “I… why are you here?”

“Well, Zwei has been going off to visit you a lot, and I thought I’d drop by to pick him up. I’m sure you’re very busy, mortals always are, and I don’t want him to bother you too much.” Death reached down and picked up Zwei. “Don’t think I don’t know about how much you get her to feed you. If you’re not careful you’ll get fat.”

Zwei simply smiled and wagged his tail.

“He’s no bother,” Weiss said. “I mean…” Her cheeks flushed. “He’s nice to have around, and he only comes when I’m not busy with anything, so…”

“I see.” Death smiled. “Well, if you don’t mind having him around, then that’s fine. Besides, he comes in handy during a fight.” She lowered her voice. “Want to know a secret?”

“Uh…” Weiss wasn’t sure she did. Death was undoubtedly privy to eldritch secrets that would literally melt her brain if she knew them.

Death grinned. “Zwei is actually the leader of the Hell Hounds. I know you’d never believe it just by looking at him, but this is just the form he wears when he’s around mortals. When he has to fight.” Ruby gestured with one arm. The other was still holding Zwei. “Think bigger… way bigger. Think bone. Think teeth. Think fire. Think… woah.” She nodded. “There’s a reason that Zwei is also the occasional Watchdog of the Abyss. Nobody and nothing gets out of there unless he lets them.”

Weiss stared. The Abyss was where the gods had thrown the ancient monstrosities that had ruled Creation before the world had been made. Such beings were thought to be impossible to kill. Their physical bodies were supposed to be little more than extensions of their will, and they were instead embodiments of the primeval chaos and nothingness that had existed before Creation. If Zwei were the occasional guardian of that place, he would have to be unbelievably formidable.

“Are you serious?” Weiss blurted. “He’s a corgi!”

“He’s my corgi,” Death said. “And he’s also the oldest and mightiest of Hell Hounds, a beast born of the fire and shadow of the Realm of the Dead, a canine titan with teeth that can tear reality and eyes that can kill a mortal with nothing more than a stout glare!”

Zwei hopped out of Death’s grasp and struck his most menacing pose on the bed. Weiss was not impressed.

“No, I really think he’s just a corgi.”

Death ruffled Weiss’s hair. “Oh, you mortals are so naive, thinking that appearances have anything to do with anything. But it’s probably better that he didn’t show up in his real form.” Death eyed the room. “This is a nice room, and he’d, well, break it. Anyway, thanks for always taking the time to be nice to Zwei. I appreciate it, and I know he does too.” Death leaned forward. “I know you’ve been working overtime lately, so let me give you a gift.”

“A gift?” Weiss stiffened, but all Death did was reach forward and cup her chin. She found herself staring into a pair of silver eyes. For a moment, she was lost in them. The room faded away. Instead, the whole of Creation seemed to unfold before her, time and space laid bare. Was this how Death saw things, was this –

“There,” Death murmured. She was still holding Weiss’s chin. “You should be fine now.”

Weiss blinked. She was more than fine. She felt fantastic. Every ache and pain she’d been fighting off over the past month of her hectic schedule had vanished. Every iota of tiredness that had filled her was gone. Instead, she felt better than she had in years, as though she’d gotten an entirely new lease on life… which might well have been the truth, considering the identity of the goddess in front of her.

“Thank you!” Weiss cried, impulsively throwing her arms around Death.

Death stiffened for a moment and then hugged Weiss back. “It’s nothing.”

“It’s not nothing,” Weiss said. “It’s –”

The door of her bedchamber opened. Her maids had arrived to help her prepare for the day ahead. There was a moment of silence as the maids stared at Weiss and Death. Zwei, of course, had chosen that exact moment to scramble under the blankets, so they couldn’t see him.

“Our apologies,” the maid at the front murmured. “We didn’t know you were occupied.” She bowed deeply to Death. “Please, Most Exalted and Honoured Goddess, do as you wish with the princess. I am sure she will enjoy it. Only… she has a long day ahead of her. It would be best if she was still capable of walking once you were done with her.”

And with that the maids left, closing the doors behind them.

Of course, they were still close enough to hear when Weiss gave a scream of horror and frustration. And, of course, that wasn’t how they interpreted it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> Death!Ruby returns, and Zwei is back too. Never doubt the power of the corgi. He is low-key super powerful. He just happens to enjoy sitting on people’s laps and getting his belly scratched. Naturally, Weiss is now one of his favourite people since she totally pampers him. Anyone who wants to go after Weiss better watch out. They might find out what Zwei really looks like. Given that this is a RWBY AU, you can probably guess what the creatures in the Abyss are.
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	126. Dragon

**Dragon  
** _  
We were dragons once, in the old days, before the Grimm came and magic died. Perhaps, one day, we could be dragons again. After all, dragons were born of the Fire of Creation itself. As long as there is a star in the sky, as long as there is light in the long and lonely dark, there will always be dragons even if, for now, they have lost their wings.  
_  
X X X

Vale was burning.

The Grimm flooded in, a black, verminous tide beyond counting. Men, women, and children – none were spared. The huntsmen and huntresses fought, but theirs was a losing battle. They could no more stem the tide than a wooden house could withstand an inferno.

Already, most of them had fallen, their bodies buried under mountains of dead Grimm. But for each Grimm that fell, another five came to takes its place. When huntsmen and huntresses fell, there was no one to take their place.

Above it all, lording over the broken towers and shattered parapets of Vale’s royal palace, was a Grimm dragon, a titan of shadows and blood, of bone and ruin. It spat dark fire from its mouth, and each scale that fell from its body became a group of Grimm. 

It roared its hate and rage to the sky, daring Vale’s defenders to challenge it.

Its challenge went unanswered.

X X X

Yang was dying.

Blood leaked through the broken plates of her armour. Her sword arm was a twisted, broken wreck. Not far away, she could hear the bestial cries of the Grimm as they hurled themselves at the few remaining defenders.

Somewhere, out there, Ruby was fighting. It was that thought alone that dragged Yang back to her feet. There was no time for an organised retreat, but perhaps Ruby could still escape. Yang would not be going anywhere. Her wounds were too great. But if her death could buy Ruby’s life, then she would gladly give it.

Barely conscious, she stumbled through streets laden with the bodies of people and Grimm. Freshly spilt blood stained the cobblestones and walls. Tattered banners lay crumpled on the ground.

“Yang!” 

Dazedly, she turned. It was Ruby. Her sister was still alive although her armour had seen better days and her weapon was badly damaged. “Ruby.”

“Yang! We have to get out of here.”

“You have to get out of here.” Yang pushed herself to put one foot in front of the other. It was far harder than it should have been. “I’m not going anywhere, Ruby.” She frowned. Her thoughts were slow, like wading through quicksand. “The stables… there should be horses there. Get one. Take the West Gate. It might still be standing. Get away while you still can.”

“Not without you!”

Yang pointed at her broken armour and the gaping wound in her side. “Ruby, you know what this means.”

“But –”

Something knocked Yang to the ground. Her head hit the cobblestones, and she saw stars. Dimly, she was aware of Ruby crying out as a dark shape clawed and bit at her. It was one of the Grimm. Yang tried to stand, but her legs refused to obey. Instead, she could only listen, unable even to turn her head, as Ruby fought for her life.

Was this how everything ended?

Absurdly, her gaze drifted to the stars overhead, barely visible through the haze of smoke and the glare of fire. They were bright tonight, far brighter than she could remember.

She closed her eyes.

X X X

Yang died.

And a dragon was born.

X X X

Ruby’s eyes widened as Yang’s body was suddenly enveloped in a cloud of fire. There was a sound like thunder, and a plume of flame shot upward. The Grimm attacking her recoiled, hissing and growling at the growing fire with primal hatred. 

“Yang!” Ruby cried. What was happening? How could Yang’s body be burning?

But Yang’s body wasn’t burning. It was growing, shifting, changing. The cloud of flame grew, turning into a whirling tempest of heat and force that threw Ruby back and demolished most of the surrounding buildings. From the depths of the fiery storm emerged a figure from legend.

Ruby gasped. She had always loved the stories of dragons, the ancient protectors of the world. But they were dead. The Grimm had killed them all, or so it had been said.

Those stories were wrong.

There was at least one dragon left.

Scales the colour of molten gold gleamed in the light of the fire as lilac eyes opened and peered at the world as if for the very first time. Wings that dwarfed sails unfurled, and the ground split and cracked as claws capable of rending mountains dug deep, tearing through the cobblestones and sinking into the soil beneath. Teeth that made swords look small were bared as the dragon drew its head back and roared.

All throughout the city, the raging fires died. Darkness fell, broken only by the eerie glow emanating from the dragon’s scales. The dragon crushed the Grimm closest to Ruby beneath one giant claw, and its eyes turned to the colossal winged Grimm upon the castle.

There was a deep whoosh, and fire, no, the sun itself, kindled in the dragon’s jaws. The dragon thrust its head forward, and a torrent of heat unseen since the elder days poured from its mouth, the very blood of the sun unleashed as a weapon. The Grimm dragon quailed beneath the assault, taking to the air as the attack simply annihilated whatever it touched.

But the dragon was not idle. It took to the air as well, its mighty wings beating with all the force of a hurricane, and it shot forward. The two behemoths met, and the Grimm dragon was driven into the ground with earth-shaking force. Claws flashed, teeth bit, and the pair rolled across the ground, breaking buildings and tearing furrows in the earth.

Yet the Grimm had not defeated the dragons of the ancient days through power. No, it was their numbers that had served them best. The Grimm dragon was mighty, but it was young. It had only heard stories of the dragons from the older Grimm, legends of the power their ancient foes had possessed.

Now, it faced a true dragon, and it was no longer the predator. It was the prey. With a victorious roar, the golden dragon pinned the Grimm dragon beneath it. Another torrent of flame spewed from its mouth, and the Grimm dragon’s struggles ceased as it was consumed in dragon fire.

X X X

Amidst the ruins of the city, Ruby ran. That dragon! It was impossible to believe, but it had to be Yang.

“Yang!” Ruby shouted. “Yang!”

The great dragon turned its head, and Ruby screeched to a halt as the dragon moved with swiftness that should have been impossible for something of its size. It stopped just shy of her, lilac eyes shimmering in the dark.

And all around them, the Grimm began to retreat, the survivors giving cheers as they laid eyes on the dragon, the first of its kind to be seen for millennia.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> I’ve always had a soft spot for Dragon!Yang. And, hey, what’s more fun than a Yang dragon going around slaughtering Grimm?
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	127. Identity

**Note this is set in the same AU as Chapters 116, 117, 118, 123, and 125.**

**X X X**

**Identity  
**  
Weiss watched the goddess on the opposite side of the table munch on yet another cookie. “Why do you look like that?” she asked.

“Like what?” Ruby replied, not bothering to take the cookie out of her mouth. Zwei tried to smuggle a cookie off her plate only to be tugged back onto her lap. One did not simply steal cookies from Death.

“Like that.” Weiss gestured vaguely at Ruby. “The priests and priestesses always say that the gods are beyond mere mortals, that the forms you wear are nothing more than shells. But why bother?”

Ruby finished eating her cookie and took a sip of her milk. Zwei gave a low whine, and she finally took pity on him and slipped him a cookie. Being the loveable dog that he was, it wasn’t long before a second cookie joined the first. “Do you want the long answer or the short answer?” 

“Both, I guess.”

“Well, the short answer is that seeing my true form would either instantly drive you insane or kill you on the spot. And I’m not talking about a pleasant death – your eyes would boil, your brain would melt, and you entire body would probably liquefy.” Ruby made a face. “I’m Death, and even I think it’s pretty horrible to see someone die like that.”

Weiss grimaced. “Please, tell me that’s a joke.” It sounded like one, but with the gods, it was generally better to be sure.

“Nope.” Ruby reached for another cookie. “There was this one guy who’d earned a wish for several decades of excellent conduct, so he asked to see one of the gods as they truly were. I had to head over to pick up his soul less than a minute later.” She sighed. “He really messed up my schedule, you know. He was supposed to die an old man in his bed. Instead, we had to kind of… pour his corpse into his grave, and you should have seen how his spirit reacted when I explained the whole thing to him.” Ruby bit her cookie. “Hint – it wasn’t a pleasant conversation.”

Weiss wanted to believe that Ruby was lying, but Ruby rarely lied to her. She might twist the truth or let Weiss misconstrue things, but it wasn’t Ruby’s style to simply lie when asked a straightforward question. “And the long answer?”

Ruby rubbed her chin and then reached over to run one finger down the scar on Weiss’s face. “Since you’re my Chosen, it should be all right. Being Chosen gives you some level of… immunity to the divine majesty of the gods.” Her lips twitched. “So I could, maybe, show you but only a little bit. And you’ll probably be unconscious for at least a week afterward.”

A chance to see what Ruby, what Death, truly looked like? “It’s fine, “Weiss replied. “I want to know.”

“Okay then.” Ruby smiled. “But don’t say that I didn’t warn you.”

The room vanished, and Weiss found herself falling into complete darkness. 

X X X

When Weiss’s eyes opened, she found herself on a plain littered with corpses. Small fires burned amongst the grass, and ash and smoke filled the air. A tattered banner fluttered in the breeze.

“I am the ruin of the battlefield.” Ruby’s voice seemed to come from every direction, and each word echoed like a peel of thunder. Clouds of crows and other scavenger birds filled the sky. “The rot and decay that take all warriors, great and small, honourable or foul.” 

The plain vanished, and Weiss was suddenly inside a still and silent cottage. Beside her was a crib. The baby in it was motionless. Beside the crib, a man and woman wept until they too fell still and silent and slumped against the crib.

“I am the one who takes a child’s last breath, the one who claims old and young alike. All are equal before me, and all must face me one day.” Ruby’s voice held no hint of emotion. It was cold and calm, a statement of immutable, incontrovertible fact. The cottage gave way to a city half-buried in sand. A harsh, biting gale whipped past. “I am the one who strips glory from the mightiest of kings, the one who can lay low even the greatest of cities. Time is one of my weapons, but in the end, even time must succumb to me.”

The city disappeared. Weiss floated in the sky. Beneath her, an entire continent vanished beneath the ocean, the cries of lamentation from its citizens silenced in a single instant. Yet only moments later, the ocean went dry, and the mountains it left behind cracked and broke.

“I am the one who tears down empire, the one who boils away oceans and crumbles mountains to dust.”

Weiss shivered, and she rose even higher through the sky. Glowing cracks appeared in the world below her, and it exploded, a vast sphere of flame that dwarfed anything she had ever imagined. She raised her hands to ward off the attack, but the hail of debris and flame passed through her like she wasn’t even there.

“I am the one who breaks worlds.”

Weiss looked around. There were stars all around her now. She could hear them, hear the music of the spheres, the song of Creation. Yet one by one the stars began to go out, and the music, the song, went silent.

“I am the darkness to which even the stars must succumb, the silence that comes after Creation has taken its last, desperate breath.”

There was only darkness now – no, not darkness. It was emptiness, or something beyond it. Nothingness.

“I am the end of all things, the end of the end, the one who stands apart from Creation, the one who douses all lamps, who blows out all candles, who silences all songs, who will, at the End of Times, the Time Beyond Time, the Final Nothingness, speak the Last Word and bring a close to Creation.”

Weiss found herself floating in absolute nothingness. There was no sound, no sight, no smell – nothing. And from it emerged twin pinpoints of silver light. She stared into them, and her whole soul was laid bare. She saw everything she was, everything she could be, and everything she had ever been, and then she saw Creation itself, saw a billion, billion, billion streams of possibility, saw them spread like ripples across the biggest lake imaginable, and then she saw them stop, saw them grind to a halt, saw them come to absolutely nothing at all.

And there, as the ripples stopped, as Fate and Destiny shuddered and failed, as Creation itself reached the only conclusion it could ever have, there, seated on a throne of blood and shadow with a crown of bone and stars upon her brow, there she saw Ruby, and she saw Ruby for what she was.

Darkness without end.

Nothingness beyond imagination.

Finality made flesh.

“And now you see,” Ruby said, and the words were like hammer blows on the metal of Weiss’s soul. “You know what I am.”

“…” Weiss could not speak.

Ruby’s voice cracked out like a whip. “You know what I am. Say it, Weiss.”

And Weiss spoke. “You. Are. Death.”

X X X

When Weiss woke up, it was to find Zwei nudging her, so he could sit on his favourite spot on her bed. She sat up and rubbed her head. Ruby was there. Weiss looked at her, and a shiver ran through her soul. An image entered her mind and then –

BLANK.

“What…?” Weiss shook her head. “I… why can’t I remember?”

Ruby gave Weiss an affectionate pat on the head. “It’s been two weeks since you asked to see what I really look like, Weiss. Everyone has been worried.” She paused and smiled bitterly. “I might have overestimated how well you’d handle it.” She paused again, longer this time. “You can’t remember because you wouldn’t have woken up if you did.”

“What do you mean?”

“I am Death,” Ruby said, and the words stirred something in Weiss’s soul. “You are my Chosen, true, but you are mortal still, and not even a god can look upon the true face of Death and remain unmoved. I removed your memory because every time you thought of it you… kind of tried to kill yourself.”

“…” Weiss shook her head violently. “You’re joking. You have to be.”

Ruby took a deep breath. “Weiss, you are my Chosen, but I have never asked anything from you. Today, that changes. Never ask what I look like again. This… shell of mine has its uses, and one of them is keeping you alive and sane.”

“All right,” Weiss murmured, still shocked. “But…”

Ruby wrapped her arms around Weiss. “You’ve got decades left before I should have to come for your soul, Weiss. Please, don’t make me come for it early.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> This is something a variation in tone for this AU. There are hints in the earlier snippets of what the gods (and Ruby in particular) truly are. In this chapter, however, there aren’t hints, so much as there are statements of fact. This snippet is also set somewhat further along in the timeline than the others to when Weiss already has developed a good rapport with Ruby and is no longer so awed by her. It is the contrast that does it, I think. Ruby is simultaneously a cookie-devouring gremlin and a majestic being of unimaginable might and power. And so is Zwei for that matter.
> 
> And since I’ve gotten questions about it again, yes, I do write original fiction, most of which is humorous. You can find me on Amazon as L. G. Estrella. My newest release is _The Hungry Dragon Cookie Company_. As you can imagine, it’s humorous in nature.
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	128. Tribute

**Tribute**

The golden dragon had terrorised the kingdom for months, devouring monsters, random cows, and the occasional bandit. Miraculously, the kingdom’s law-abiding citizens had thus far escaped unharmed, but there was no telling when the dragon might turn on them.

There was only one thing left to do.

“Great dragon!” cried the kingdom’s Minister for Defence. “We have come with tribute!”

The massive dragon uncoiled and turned lilac eyes on the puny Faunus who dared enter its domain. Fire kindled in its jaws, and the air shimmered with heat.

“Uh…” the minister made a face. “Glorious and mighty dragon, lord and ruler of the sky –” The dragon gave an ominous rumble, and the minister flinched again.

“Uh, sir,” one of his attendants said, “I think that’s a female dragon.”

“What?” he whispered back. “How can you tell?”

“There are slight differences in wing shape, hip structure, and –”

“You should have told me that earlier! Do you want us to get eaten?” the minister hissed before raising his voice again. “Glorious and mighty dragon, lady and ruler of the sky…” he trailed off, and the dragon nodded in apparent approval. “We have come with tribute! In exchange, please spare our people…” he paused. “Although it would be nice if you could continue killing any monsters you see and eating bandits.”

The dragon rolled her eyes.

Since he hadn’t been eaten or roasted, the minister took that as a good sign. “Bring forth the tribute!”

The dragon was then treated to a parade of treasure. Gold, jewels, silk, spices, weapons, art, and all manner of riches were brought forth. Yet the dragon seemed uninterested in all of them.

What did she need gold for? She was a dragon. There was nothing in the world that she wanted that she couldn’t simply take. What good were jewels and silk to her? Her scales were more beautiful than any jewel, and there was no clothing in the world that could match her scales either. Spices? She was a dragon. She preferred her food to be freshly roasted with dragon fire. And weapons? Please. Her fire was as hot as the sun, her claws could carve through mountains, and her teeth could pierce through the walls of a fortress. Art? Well, some of the statues looked interesting, but it wasn’t like she could carry them around when she eventually decided to move on.

However, the dragon did see something that caught her eye, and the minister gave a terrified wail as the dragon rose off her haunches. Her wings flared majestically, so large they blotted out the sun and cast a shadow upon the entire parade. Her tail flicked the air, the sound of it like a thunderclap, and she leaned forward, lilac eyes gleaming before she pointed with one claw.

X X X

“You have to do it!” the minister begged. “Do you want us to get eaten?”

Her Royal Majesty Blake Belladonna glared. Oh, how she glared. However, the minister, who would normally have run screaming in the other direction, held his ground. Why? Well, as scary as the princess’s glare was, the dragon that was currently watching everything with no small measure of amusement was far scarier.

“I am not going to become tribute for a dragon.” Blake had no idea why her parents had left this idiot in charge while they’d gone on holiday. Nor did she know why they’d chosen now, when a dragon was around, to go on holiday. It made her wonder if Weiss, who was a princess of a neighbouring kingdom, had to put up with this kind of rubbish. Then again, there were those rumours of her becoming tribute to some super powerful werewolf… “How do you think my parents will react when they get back?”

“I’m sure they will be pleased that their daughter put the wellbeing of the kingdom above her own.”

“You don’t think they’ll be mad that you let me get eaten?”

The dragon gave another rumble.

“I don’t think the dragon is going to eat you,” the minister said. “I think it’s more of a collector thing.” The dragon nodded. “As a dragon, she can easily kill the lot of us. But that’s not the point.” The minster glanced back at the dragon and then hurried on. “I don’t know why she wants you, but she does, and as long as she promises not to eat you, it seems like a good deal.”

“…” Blake’s eyes narrowed. “When I become queen, I am going to banish you. No, I’ll have you executed.”

The dragon chortled.

“Look,” the minister said. “Just… give it two weeks. See how it goes.”

The dragon nodded again.

Blake took a deep, deep breath. This was crazy. “And you swear not to eat any of my people or harm the kingdom in any way?”

The dragon huffed.

“Unless they start something in which case I assume you’ll finish it?”

The dragon nodded.

“Fine.” Blake growled. “Two weeks.”

X X X

When Blake woke up on the first morning of her time with the dragon, she was ready for a lot of things. She was not ready for a naked blonde to be walking over to her with a rabbit.

“Ah!” Blake screamed, scrambling to her feet and reaching for one of her daggers. They wouldn’t be much help against a dragon, but they should be fine against a person. “Who are you?”

“You don’t recognise me?” the blonde asked. She grabbed Blake’s dagger in one hand, and Blake let go with a yelp as the weapon grew incredibly hot.

“What?” Blake backed away and reached for her other dagger. “Where did the dragon go…” She trailed off. “Oh. Oh. OH! You’re the dragon!”

“Got it in one.” The woman smirked.

“But… why aren’t you wearing any clothes?”

“I’m a dragon, princess. Do dragons wear clothes?” The woman spun in a slow circle. “Besides, you should consider yourself lucky. I’ve been told I’m quite beautiful in this form.”

Blake tried not to stare, she really did. But, damn, the dragon actually was quite beautiful. She finally managed to look away. “Well, you’re not hideous.”

The dragon laughed and Blake found strong arms wrapped around her. No, these arms were more than strong. Even with all of her strength, Blake couldn’t get them to budge.

“Funny, princess.” The dragon laughed again.

“What… what do you want from me?”

“Hmm…” the dragon murmured, pressing herself against Blake’s back. “I can think of a few things… but we’ll get to those later. Right now, I want you to take me on a little trip.”

“A trip?”

“I want to visit my sister, but it might be a little bit tricky. She’s currently staying with a princess.”

“Which princess?”

“Weiss Schnee. Now, normally, I’d have no problems just breaking in there as a dragon, you know, burning everything and wreaking havoc and woe, but my sister actually likes it there, so the whole draconic slaughter thing isn’t an option. Alas, I can’t just waltz into the palace either. But you? You’re a princess. So you’re my ticket in.”

“…” Blake wasn’t sure what to say to that. “And… and your sister? Is… is she a dragon too?”

“Oh, no,” the dragon said. “She’s a werewolf.”

“How can your sister be a werewolf?”

“We have a complicated family,” the dragon said. “And that’s not even the half of it. My mother. She’s a raven. Sure, she’s a giant, magical raven that serves as the Herald of Spring, but, yeah, still a raven. And my uncle? A giant, magical crow who brings woe and misfortune although that’s mostly not on purpose. The whole dragon thing is from my dad’s side of the family.”

“I have no idea how that works.”

“None of us do.” The dragon rubbed her face in Blake’s hair. “Now, are you going to help me, or do I have to go all dragon on your kingdom?”

“I’ll help you.” Blake sighed. “But what should I call you? I can’t call you a dragon if we’re going to be visiting another princess.”

“Call me Yang.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> Because the universe needs more dragon!Yang and princess!Blake.
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	129. Dragon Time

**Dragon Time**

**_Note: You wanted more Dragon!Yang. You get more Dragon!Yang. Three snippets worth, in fact._ **

**X X X**

**Possessive**

“Can you maybe help me a little here?” Blake asked.

Weiss made a great show of thinking about it before shaking her head. “I’m sorry, Blake, but I don’t feel like taking on a one-hundred-and-fifty-feet-long, possessive winged reptile who can breathe fire hot enough to melt solid rock.”

Blake’s eye twitched. “Really? You’re just going to leave me here?” The scaly tail wrapped around her middle tugged her back toward warm scales that gleamed gold in the sun. “Because a little help would be nice.”

“Ask Ruby,” Weiss replied archly. “Because I’m fairly sure she’s the only one who doesn’t have to worry about getting eaten if she does something wrong.”

Ruby tossed a scrap of dead Grimm to the dragon coiled around Blake. “Don’t be silly, Weiss. Yang wouldn’t eat us if we made her mad. I mean it’s not like she’d ever do anything to me, but the worst you’d get if you made her mad is a bit of a clawing.”

Weiss gaped. “Ruby, have you seen the size of her claws?” Weiss jabbed one finger at the wickedly sharp claws in question. “I saw her turn an Ancient Beowolf into ribbons with those. Even a little bit of a clawing is too much!”

Yang was evidently not impressed since she sent a small puff of fire in Weiss’s direction. It wasn’t much, not even hot enough to set hair alight, but Weiss gave a startled shriek and shook her fist at the dragon.

“How dare you!” Weiss growled. “Dragon or not, I will not allow you to bully me – ah!”

Yang unfurled her wings, and Weiss stumbled in the sudden gale. Blake tried to make a run for it, but Yang simply tightened her hold, giving a low rumble of disapproval.

“Why is she doing this?” Blake grumbled. Yang’s grip on her was surprisingly gentle considering what she could do. “Ruby?”

Ruby hopped up onto Yang’s back and hugged the dragon. It would be another hour before reinforcements arrived, and it was getting a bit cold. Yang was wonderfully warm. “Well, I’m not exactly sure. But dad said it had something to do with a change in mindset. Apparently, she doesn’t just transform into a dragon physically but also mentally.”

“Ah.” Blake knew a lot about what some might call a ‘predatory mindset’. Some of the more extreme factions of the White Fang had been obsessed with it, claiming that Faunus were predators and humans were nothing more than prey. “So…?”

“Basically, since you’re Yang’s girlfriend, dragon Yang is going to murder anything that even looks at you funny.” Ruby shrugged. “You’re actually really safe. Nobody is going to get at you with Yang around. And I’m safe too.” Ruby struck a pose. “Being a dragon’s little sister is cool that way.”

“And me?” Weiss asked.

Ruby snickered. “Oh, Weiss, you’re…” She snickered. “I’m sure you’ll be fine.”

“Hey!” Weiss scowled at Yang. “Do you not value me as a teammate and friend, Yang? Is that why you’re not grabbing me with your tail or letting me climb on your back, or – gah!”

Yang grabbed Weiss in one claw and lifted her onto her back before turning her head and giving her a faint scowl. 

“Yay,” Ruby remarked, grinning. “You’re part of the dragon club now, Weiss.”

“Uh, yay.”  
 **  
X X X**

 **Cleaning Duty  
**  
“You know,” Weiss grumbled as she grabbed a giant scrubbing brush. “This would be easier if you were smaller.”

Yang gave a low rumble. _And crushing our enemies would be harder if I were smaller too._

Ruby grinned. “Well, Weiss kind of has a point.” She too had a giant scrubbing brush. “Do you have any idea how long it will take for us to get you clean?”

Blake, who had her own giant scrubbing brush, took a quick look at Yang and then shuddered. “At the pace we’re going? We’ll be lucky to get done in the next three hours.”

 _Hey_. Yang uncoiled, her vast wings unfurling, so that the sunlight glinted off her golden scales. _It’s not my fault I’m awesome._

“You’re not awesome. You’re huge.” Weiss grimaced. “Ridiculously huge. You would be perfectly capable of incinerating our enemies if you were only fifty feet long, but instead you’re a hundred and fifty feet long.”

Yang leaned over and bared her big, big teeth at Weiss. _Want to say that again?_

“Gladly,” Weiss retorted. “You are an obnoxiously huge dragon, and I don’t see why your transformed form doesn’t get clean when you bathe your usual form.” She scowled. “And did you have to just… roll over so many of the Grimm? You’re absolutely covered in gunk.”

 _Meh. It was easier than getting rid of them individually, and I didn’t want to set the city on fire_. Yang yawned, and fire kindled in her jaws. _Besides, don’t ask me how this works. All I do is transform. I don’t think anyone gets how it really works_.

Ruby shrugged. “I would like to point out that if I have a bath in my normal form, my werewolf form gets cleaned as well.”

Blake nodded. “Ditto for my cat form.”

 _None of those are as cool as what I transform into though_. Yang grinned. _Oh, and can you make sure you get that spot in between my claws? Yeah, it tickles if you don’t clean there properly_.

“Dust forbid that your claws should feel ticklish,” Weiss muttered. “You know, we could just use a high pressure hose to do this. It’s not like it would hurt. Yang’s scales can withstand artillery. A little bit of hosing should be fine.”

Ruby looked aghast. “We can’t use a high pressure hose on my sister!”

“Your sister is currently a dragon, Ruby. She’ll be fine.”

Yang scowled. _No hose_.

“Well, why don’t you fly to the ocean and bathe in it?”

 _I don’t like bathing in salt water. It’s weird_.

“Just keep scrubbing,” Blake said. “The more you complain, the longer this will take.”  
 **  
X X X**

 **Little Dragons  
**  
Blake yawned and then opened her eyes. She was greeted by teeth. Lots and lots of teeth.

“Ah!” She practically hurled herself out of bed and scrambled for her weapon. “Yang! Wake up!”

“Huh?” Yang rolled over and opened her eyes. She too was greeted by teeth, but her reaction was very different. “Oh, hey. That’s kind of cool.”

Sitting on top of the bed were two golden dragons with amber eyes, each of them about six feet long. Their golden scales gleamed in the sunlight coming through the window, and they both smiled, baring their very, very sharp and very, very big teeth.

Now that Blake had the time to actually look at the dragons, she relaxed. “Yang…” She growled. “Why did you never mention that our daughters might inherit your… talent?”

“Oh, you mean the whole turning into a giant dragon thing?” Yang grinned and rubbed each of the dragons between their wings. The twins preened and nudged Yang with their heads. Evidently, they liked the sensation. “Well, to be honest, I didn’t actually think it would carry over. I mean… yeah. I turn into a dragon, but you don’t. I kind of figured they’d take after you.”

“…” Blake took a deep breath. She had accepted the fact that Yang could transform into a dragon capable of razing entire cities and burning kingdoms. It was, she supposed, not that weird that their children might take after her. Besides, the twins were kind of cute rather than majestic. “I see.”

The twins had yet to attain the proportions that Yang’s dragon form had. Instead, their tails were a bit stubby, their wings were too big, and their teeth were disproportionately large. Rather than being a seamless combination of grace and deadliness, they were adorable harbingers of fiery death.

“So… which one of you is Alison?” Blake asked. The dragon that was currently chewing on the bedside table lifted her head. “Okay. No eating any of the furniture.” She looked at Yang. “Is this the dragon version of teething?”

“Pretty much. I ate the couch when I was a kid.”

“Right. So… you’re Li then.” Blake sat down next to the dragon that was sprawled across Yang’s lap. Within moments, Blake had a dragon draped over her as Li sniffed at her hair and prodded her with her snout. “Can you stop that? And more importantly, can you change back?”

There were twin flashes of light, and the twins were back to normal.

“Did you see?” Li cried. “We were dragons, mom!”

“I saw.” Blake patted Li on the head.

“I thought we’d be bigger though,” Alison grumbled. “Mommy is huge.”

“I’m a fully grown dragon,” Yang replied. “And be glad. You can actually transform inside the house without breaking it.” She smirked. “And you know what this means? Training. If you two can transform, we need to make sure you can handle yourselves in both forms.”

“Can we set stuff on fire?” Li asked. “Or how about we hunt bears or something?”

“You are not going to be burning or hunting anything until you’ve been trained,” Blake said. “Now, why don’t you two head downstairs. Since I’m already up, I might as well get breakfast started.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> The world needs more dragons and it needs more Yang. So why not both? Seriously, though, I have almost as much fun writing Dragon!Yang as I do Death!Ruby.
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


	130. Bureaucratic Bungling

**Bureaucratic Bungling**

Weiss, Goddess of Bureaucracy, stared at the mortal. “It says here that you’re not supposed to be dead for at least another seventy years.”

Ruby grimaced. “Uh… sorry?”

“Sorry? You mortals have no idea how complicated you make the universe.” Weiss sighed. “I remember before the gods invented mortality. We didn’t have to manage an afterlife because there wasn’t one, and we certainly didn’t have to devote so many resources to sorting people into the appropriate afterlife either.”

“…” Ruby winced. “Um… so… I’m dead?”

Weiss rolled her eyes. “Hmph. You mortals are supposed to be cunning and ingenious. We definitely made you that way to begin with.” She glanced down at her clipboard. “It says here that you… choked to death on a cookie.”

“Oh. Wow. I knew I shouldn’t have tried to eat five cookies at once.”

Weiss whacked Ruby over the head with her clipboard. “You are an utter dunce.”

“Hey!” Ruby bristled. “You can’t just hit me with your clipboard!”

“Do you have any idea who I am, mortal?” Weiss whacked Ruby over the head with her clipboard again. “I am Weiss, Goddess of Bureaucracy, and currently the one in charge of your fate.”

“Are you sure that’s a real thing?” Ruby asked. “I’ve never heard of a goddess of bureaucracy before.”

Weiss gave her a flat, flat look. “You know, perhaps if you’d left more offerings at my temple, I might have been inclined to keep you from choking on a cookie. But, if my records are correct and they always are, you’ve never so much as set foot in one of my temples. So here we are. In the afterlife. Because you choked on a cookie.”

“It does sound pretty bad when you put it like that,” Ruby conceded. “And… maybe if you let me go back to the world of the living, I could go to one of your temples and leave an offering or something.”

“Or something? You’re not the first mortal to try to bribe me, but you might just be the worst at it.” Weiss hit Ruby with her clipboard again. “But you’re lucky. While you are mortal, you do have a trace of divine blood in you. I believe you have an Uncle Qrow.”

“Yeah!” Ruby grinned. “He was the one who taught me how to fight monsters and go adventuring and –”

“He is also the God of Crows, Misfortune, Drunkenness, and Scythes.” Weiss paused thoughtfully. “Which might explain why you choked on a cookie.”

“Uncle Qrow is a god?” Ruby made a face. “But he’s so… I don’t know…”

“Lacking in divine majesty, glory, and splendour?” Weiss scoffed. “He prefers to adopt a more… mortal appearance than most of us.” Weiss sighed. “Anyway, as someone with divine heritage, it is possible for your relative to appeal to give you a second chance.” Weiss pulled out a piece of paper. “In what can only be a true divine miracle, your Uncle Qrow actually filed paperwork in advance. I’ve lived for countless aeons, mortal, and I can honestly say that this is the first time that has ever happened. He must really like you.”

“Well, he is my favourite uncle,” Ruby said.

“He’s not even your uncle. He’s more like your great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandfather.”

“That’s kind of like an uncle.”

“No, it’s not.” Weiss brandished her clipboard again, and Ruby cringed. It was so pointy. “In any case, since he has filed the appropriate paperwork, and since you haven’t been technically dead for longer than five minutes, I can, in fact, restore you to the land of the living, provided that you fill out these forms.”

Ruby stared as a mountain of forms appeared. “Do I have to?”

“Would you rather stay dead?”

 

Ruby filled out the forms.

X X X

Ruby blinked and stared at the ceiling before spitting out a mouthful of cookie. She was alive! Or maybe the whole thing had been a crazy dream –

“Hello, mortal.”

“Ah!” Ruby screamed and pointed at the goddess who was now sitting on the other side of her bed. “What are you doing here?”

“You made a mistake on Form 217-C. I’m afraid there are going to be consequences.”

“I… I’m going to die?” Ruby whispered.

“No. Worse.” More paperwork appeared out of thin air. “You now have to fill those out in triplicate.”

“And if I don’t?”

“Oh, mortal,” Weiss said. “You really, really don’t want to find out what happens if you don’t.”

“Oh.”

“Well,” Weiss said. “I will be going now.” She stopped and looked at the cat Ruby’s sister, Yang, had recently found. “You have a cat?”

“Uh… yeah?”

Weiss chuckled. “Oh, you have no idea who that really is, do you?”

“Of course, I do. That’s Blake. My sister found her on our doorstep last week.”

“Is that so?” Weiss strode over to the cat and patted her on the back once before vanishing, leaving only her words behind. “Get her tuna if you can. She happens to like it. Oh… and if someone with mismatching eyes and hair tries to murder you, tell Blake.”

“Okay…” Ruby trailed off. “I’ll… just… do this paperwork then.”

She waited until she was confident that Weiss was truly gone before pulling Blake onto her lap. “You know, Blake, gods are weird – ouch!”

Odd. Blake had just scratched her. But why would Blake care about what Ruby thought of the gods?

X X X  
 ** __  
Note: Here is a Valentine’s Day omake for you all.  
  
Poetry**

**From: Ruby Rose  
To: Weiss Schnee  
Subject: Valentine’s Day  
**  
Dearest Weiss, 

On this most romantic of days, please allow me to express my feelings for you in poetry.

Roses are red  
Violets are blue  
Why would I eat cookies  
When I could eat you?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I do not own RWBY. I’m not making any money off of this either.
> 
> You’ve met Death!Ruby. Now, meet Bureaucracy!Weiss. Paperwork has never been so awesome… or so crabby.
> 
> As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.


End file.
